Homoromantic / Asexy lesbian time!

[Katie15]

I have always felt kind of ashamed of my discomfort with the term lesbian, and still can't quite make sense of it, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one here.

My current theory (as in at this very second) is that maybe in my mind it has too strong a connection to physical stuff that makes me uncomfortable, even historically? 

Currently identifying (very quietly) as a sex-repulsed asexual homo/aromatic(???), the fact that I can't talk about or even write here about the physical side of stuff, makes me sometimes feel really shitty as if it's somehow homophobic, even though I feel exactly the same way about hetero stuff. Am I alone in this?????

[lonelyace]

Before I knew that asexuality was a thing I thought that I was lesbian because girls are pretty and guys are just eh. But I don't feel sexual attraction towards either sex and to be honest I'm not entirely sure about romantic attraction. 

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

11 hours ago, lonelyace said:

Before I knew that asexuality was a thing I thought that I was lesbian because girls are pretty and guys are just eh. But I don't feel sexual attraction towards either sex and to be honest I'm not entirely sure about romantic attraction. 

That's ok. It sounds to me like you're asexual homoromantic though

[lonelyace]

1 hour ago, Deus Ex Infinity said:

That's ok. It sounds to me like you're asexual homoromantic though

*shrugs* I'm open to that

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

2 hours ago, lonelyace said:

*shrugs* I'm open to that

It's  nothing but a thought or open suggestion. It's all up to you.

[SouthernBelle77]

I have identified as asexual for as long as there was a term for it and when nobody else believed it was a thing.  However, it’s only been within the past year that I’ve started exploring my romantic side.  I met a great guy last year who seemed to be cool with the sex off the table thing, or at least it never came up, but he was just too into me for my liking and it ended just as all others, even with sex being off the table.  So then I thought, well maybe it’s just a guy thing, maybe I’m homoromantic.  I’ve had non-physical crushes on females my entire life, dating back to age 5 and I’m now 41!  Then I remembered my experience with my asexual friend’s lesbian partner.  She was fixated on me and again the attention was just too much.  Perhaps being with others who experience sexual attraction is the issue or maybe I really am aromantic.  It’s hard to tell at this point without being able to experience a homoromantic asexual relationship, but I can say that when thinking of actually having a life partner, the thought of that person being a female is exciting while the thought of a male is depression.  Also, in my experiences, the more hands off a female is the more I want to be loved by that person, which is like all females in my life LOL.   Your thoughts are highly valued!

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

@SouthernBelle77 First off, I'd like to give you a warm welcome to our online community! I hope you'll enjoy your stay with us

 

As for you post, it's always difficult to offer any advise here, aside from trusting your own instincts. So, if you never really felt comfortable in the presence of men there might be a real chance that you're homoromantic. It sounds very crucial to me. I've never felt any attraction towards the opposite gender either but it still took about 6 years to accept and come out to my friends and family afterwards. Having said that, doesn't necessarily mean that you have to do the same yourself.

 

I'm just trying to explain that these things usually always take some time to be realized. I had forced myself into short miserable straight relationships far too long while trying to pretend and ignore my real sexual orientation which left me broken and desperate in the very end but meeting the right people at the right moment is all it takes to make a change.

 

I was lucky enought to find them at some point in my life and I hope that it will be the same for you  too someday soon   So I'd just reccommened to stick around and talk  to some other female aventities here to help you figure your emotions in greater detail. Feel free to PM me anytime.

[SouthernBelle77]

Thank you!  The thought of finding a female companion doesn't feel right either.  It would have to be a friend that I eventually felt comfortable being playfully affectionate with.  The college years were my happiest in terms of relationships.  Just having a bunch of friends living together and having fun together and being affectionate with each other was the best.  When I say affection, I don't mean kissing or holding hands.  I'm just looking for hugs and human touch from time to time   I'll keep exploring on this site and I'm glad this forum exists.  Thanks again.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

15 hours ago, SouthernBelle77 said:

Thank you!  The thought of finding a female companion doesn't feel right either.  It would have to be a friend that I eventually felt comfortable being playfully affectionate with.  The college years were my happiest in terms of relationships.  Just having a bunch of friends living together and having fun together and being affectionate with each other was the best.  When I say affection, I don't mean kissing or holding hands.  I'm just looking for hugs and human touch from time to time   I'll keep exploring on this site and I'm glad this forum exists.  Thanks again.

That's ok Maybe you'll find yourself comfortable in having a queer platonic relationship with somebody else someday. Time will show...

[hgwells]

I’ve been aware of my sexuality for years and have had a few girlfriends in the past but always found the sex thing difficult, I’ve never been really interested in actually having sex with women but do find women sexually attractive and I enjoy that. I’ve only heard the term Asexual and the terms on the rest of the spectrum for about 4 years and it means I I now understand things a lot better so when I put myself out there In  the dating world in 2019 i’ll be able to explain myself a bit easier and might actually find a woman that puts up with my quirks hehe! 

 

 

 

[Sweet Dream]

I want to share a wonderful life with a wonderful wife one day. I just don't want to have sex with her. 😂

 

That looks really enticing on a dating profile, right?

 

I'm so jealous of married men who complain their wives never want sex... You're living my dream, dude. I don't see the problem here...

 

My ears have a fetish for American women. If I could find one, her talking is all the sexual gratification I'd need for a successful relationship. 😏

 

[Asexual_Goddess]

Anyone who could help a confused asexual who thinks they are quoiromantic? I have never felt like I have had a crush, squish, etc..., but I have never really known what it is like. I often question whether my feelings are romantic or platonic. I have imagined being in a strictly romantic or semi-romantic relationship with people (girls) who I think of as platonic friends. Help!!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🎂🎂🍰🍰

 

 

[Kathychan96]

I feel like the so-called intruder and homoromantic in the same time hahah...

[GoneForGood]

I had not noticed this thread before.

 

I thought that I was lesbian for years. It really threw me because I would have sex for the other person, I just did not want to initiate. What I really wanted was to cuddle.

 

I finally figured out that I am asexual but homosensual and homoaesthetic, in looking back at my different relationships I am also Bi or Poly Romantic. It is neat to figure this out.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

@MakeLoveNotWar It is Finding your true self is one of the most liberating experiences!

[Nirnroot]

I definitely like women romantically, but it's not a good time in my life, and I am not ready for some kind of romantic relationship. 

[SeeYa]

19 minutes ago, Mewtwo said:

I definitely like women romantically, but it's not a good time in my life, and I am not ready for some kind of romantic relationship. 

It's not something that has to be rushed! There is always another time to find what you are looking for, when you are ready for it.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

7 hours ago, StomachGod said:

It's not something that has to be rushed! There is always another time to find what you are looking for, when you are ready for it.

I totally agreed with @StomachGod here. You can't rush, force or plan to fall in love with someone. I do understand the wish to find a romantic partner but these things would usually only happen when you least expect it. So you just have to be patient and relaxed for now. It will happen eventually. Don't give up!

[GoneForGood]

@StomachGod @Deus Ex Infinity My relationship found me when I wasn't looking at all

[SeeYa]

3 hours ago, MakeLoveNotWar said:

@StomachGod @Deus Ex Infinity My relationship found me when I wasn't looking at all

The one time I have actually attempted a relationship this happened to me... didn't last but hey 😃

[Nirnroot]

A relationship sounds exhausting right now. I think it will be a while. A long while.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

8 hours ago, StomachGod said:

The one time I have actually attempted a relationship this happened to me... didn't last but hey 😃

I'm really sorry to for you but that's life. Everything happens for a reason. The perfect match is still somewhere out there... waiting for you. 

 

You just have to keep going

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

7 hours ago, Mewtwo said:

A relationship sounds exhausting right now. I think it will be a while. A long while.

I totally agree with you. I'm still struggling between staying single or start searching again. Being alone for over 13 years now is slowly taking its toll on me. I'm getting more and more depressed and gloomy lately. 

[SeeYa]

25 minutes ago, Deus Ex Infinity said:

I'm really sorry to for you but that's life. Everything happens for a reason. The perfect match is still somewhere out there... waiting for you. 

 

You just have to keep going

Ahaha, it's okay, it really blindsided me so I guess I just jumped into things without thinking. (lesson learned? maybe?)
I duno about a "perfect match" but I guess that is a nice thought 😃

I'll just sit and wait then XD

[SeeYa]

19 minutes ago, Deus Ex Infinity said:

I totally agree with you. I'm still struggling between staying single or start searching again. Being alone for over 13 years now is slowly taking its toll on me. I'm getting more and more depressed and gloomy lately. 

If you don't really want one maybe there is something else to help you? Friendships maybe?
Not that it's my business but it would be really sad if you sank into depression. No one deserves that...
Take care of yourself k?

[SeeYa]

7 hours ago, Mewtwo said:

A relationship sounds exhausting right now. I think it will be a while. A long while.

Then wait a while until it seems more feasible! You don't HAVE to get a relationship right right right now 😃
If you want to wait, it can wait =D

[Chihiro]

Panromantic here. Dunno how I never noticed this thread before. So, hello!

[Denoscar]

Hello, just here to say hi. 🍰

[Acebooklove]

Hi! hahaha

 

I noticed I like girls first, sexual feeling (or non feelings heheh) later.

[Denoscar]

28 minutes ago, Acebooklove said:

Hi! hahaha

 

I noticed I like girls first, sexual feeling (or non feelings heheh) later.

Mine's a long story, honestly. I don't know if I should post it here or make an entirely new thread for it. What do you think?