Jump to content

Homoromantic / Asexy lesbian time!


Recommended Posts

Does the poking of the thread.

I was thinking maybe we could do some questions or something like that for others to try and keep the thread alive (like they do in the transwhatevers thread and such over in gender discussion)

However, I'm horrible at that so I'll just go ahead and insert a generic question here

What's your "newest craze" hobby right now, as in, what kind of shows are you watching, any new activities you're doing, etc.

Link to post
Share on other sites

To all of the lesbian aces, do you remember your first kiss with a girl? Would you share the story?

Also, though I may have already asked this and forgot, do you identify primarily as lesbian/gay, or as asexual? I mean both in social circles, and/or when asked, etc. AND when you think about yourself.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
Stained Glass

Intruder here :0!

I identify as panromantic but first went by asexual. For me, romantic emotiions were just so rare, It took me awhile to realize my romantic orientation ^_^

When I'm asked i say Panromantic ace to my sexuality-educated friends.

but I may just say bi to the normal person because I get shy explaining things like pan and ace :redface:

Link to post
Share on other sites

do you identify primarily as lesbian/gay, or as asexual? I mean both in social circles, and/or when asked, etc. AND when you think about yourself.

Both in equal measures, inseparably. But my romantic attractions and feelings occupy my mind more than my non-existant sexual ones ;) I would say that my lesbian identity is one of introversion and extroversion, while my asexual one is more of an introversive one. It starts to occupy my mind a lot more when confronted with the sexuality of others. Within LGBT I do feel very strongly as asexual. But we all know why that is.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Per Aspera Ad Astra

I identify as bi/panromantic, even though I believe romantic attraction is so much more than that. I believe we fall in love with someone for who they are as a person, and their sex or gender has got nothing to do with the feelings we develop. At least, that's what happens for me. I still find myself to be more attracted to women, or I find it easier to imagine myself in a homoromantic relationship rather than a heteroromantic relationship. I think it has to do with the fact that most women are more in touch with their feelings than men are, and that is definitely something that appeals to me. But it will have nothing to do with the fact that they are female, just the fact that they are sensitive. I could as easily fall in love with a sensitive man.

It took me a while to realize my romantic attraction. At first, I thought I was just heterosexual/heteroromantic. Then I realized I could easily see myself being in a relationship with a women. So I labelled as bisexual/biromantic. Then I realized I was asexual. Then I realized that sexual attraction and romantic attraction were two very different things. Then I realized I didn't care for the gender of the person I would fall in love with, so as long as they would be kind and good persons. So I decided to label myself as panromantic (with a slight tendency towards the homorantic side of the spectrum).

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
TheLandsBeyond

I identify as panromantic. I've only ever been in a hetero relationship, but I'm now lithromantic towards men. I can't deny the fact that I do still have occasional feelings for males, but I can't see myself being in a relationship with anyone other than females (or possibly genderqueer people) for a long time.

Depending on the context, I'll either say I'm asexual or pan- (without specification of romantic or sexual). I discovered my attraction towards girls before my asexuality. Here's a brief summary, if you're interested:

My first crush was a girl, if I look back to when I was about 7. I thought she was insanely beautiful, and I knew at first sight that I needed to be friends with her. A couple months later, I told my mom that I had a crush on her, and she laughed at me. So I went on repressing any non-hetero feelings until high school, believing I was straight. Then, when I was 15, I developed such strong feelings for another girl that I couldn't ignore them, so I explored them and realized that I found the idea of having sex with her repulsive. On a whim, I typed the term 'Biromantic' into Google and discovered that other people had also separated their romantic orientation from their sexual orientation, though most of them were asexual, which I didn't even consider for myself. So, for months, I identified as biromantic heterosexual. I only told one person - my best friend - about how I was attracted to girls, and even that was so coy that I don't know if she caught on. Anyway, about two years ago, I started rethinking my labels, trying to decide if I was asexual. I browsed through AVEN without making an account and then realized that I was definitely somewhere on the spectrum. I was so afraid of being wrong about it that I didn't come out to anyone for some months, at which point I decided that I didn't care if I turned out not to be asexual and that it wasn't anyone else's business. I'm still not 'out' to my family, but I'll mention it casually in conversations with friends, so a decent number of people know at least one part of my orientation.

Link to post
Share on other sites

To all of the lesbian aces, do you remember your first kiss with a girl? Would you share the story?

Also, though I may have already asked this and forgot, do you identify primarily as lesbian/gay, or as asexual? I mean both in social circles, and/or when asked, etc. AND when you think about yourself.

I do remember my first kiss with a girl. It was before I figured out I was asexual but after I had come out as a lesbian. I didn't really want to kiss but we were sort of in that stage of our relationship where it was time to kiss. So we kissed. I found the kiss to be "meh" but I didn't tell my girl friend. I kept kissing her hoping that I would start to enjoy the kissing. I never enjoyed it. It became just a way to show my love rather than something I wanted to do because I enjoyed it.

I ID as an asexual lesbian or homo-romantic asexual. In the lesbian social world I only come out to others as asexual if the subject comes up naturally or if someone seems interested in a potential relationship with me. On the other hand in the asexual community I'm very open about being homo-romantic.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

So I know for sure that my gender is female, and that my sexual orientation most probably is greysexual.. But I feel my romantic and aesthetic orientation might be a bit here and there.. But I feel I might be about to discover that I might be what this thread describes? I rarely find men attractive, and I just find women to be really, really attractive. Sometimes I feel I can easily call myself a lesbian, well grey-lesbian. I suppose only time will tell, though, maybe I'll find the right man, or maybe I'll figure out how attracted I actually am to men. I like to keep an open mind, after all, I have identified as bi and pan most of my life, since I was 10, maybe, and only recently concluded that men might not be my cup of tea, and therefore I stopped saying I am pan, but if I am homo or just bi with a great preference, not sure... Haha.

Link to post
Share on other sites
AwkwardAntelope

To most people I identify as a lesbian (to many people, I just say I am a "huge homo"), even though I hate the word and I am not indeed, a lesbian. I have a preference for women or agender folks. I can't quite explain it well, but my first few relationships were with men and I just did not enjoy them. Even disregarding the blatant objective of sex, I just didn't seem to click with men. Then I had my first relationship with a woman and oh my goodness. It was like night and day. I actually enjoyed being in a relationship! I just tend to click with women or non-gendered individuals moreso than dudes.

It is just easier for my own sanity to say I'm a lesbian to the uneducated. I could say I was straight but people would take one look at me and not believe me haha.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Antelope, you have made different experiences and saw for yourself how you felt with them. If you are attracted to women in one way or another, there is absolutely no wrong in calling yourself a lesbian. Only if you want to, of course. I'm asexual and always have called myself lesbian. Nothing could change my affirmative feelings for that term.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

To all of the lesbian aces, do you remember your first kiss with a girl? Would you share the story?

Also, though I may have already asked this and forgot, do you identify primarily as lesbian/gay, or as asexual? I mean both in social circles, and/or when asked, etc. AND when you think about yourself.

I don't really think of myself as asexual, which is partly why it's taken so effing long for me to start posting on these boards lol. Being a lesbian is something I can grasp; I like women, I think they're emotionally beautiful and I do have an attraction to some. Being asexual seems like defining myself by something I'm not though; like saying I'm anti-summer when really I just love snow.

I kissed my first girl on the playground when I was 9. We might have been pretending to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or possibly Thundercats... or maybe just on a secret treasure island somewhere, but in the process of this game we kissed. I'm sure it was an incredibly romantic scene. I don't really remember though. What I do recall is it got us a lot of attention from everyone else on the playground, so she kissed me again... and again... and while I saw our whole live helixing out to adventures where we lived together alone in the forest and rode horses and shot arrows, she apparently just did it for the brief, fickle fame of kissing another girl. Facebook told me she got married to a guy recently. A part of my heart still stings. :mellow:

I've only really come out as asexual to my best friend, who's also my ex (urgh, cliche lesbian, I know). I imagine telling most people I don't like sex is akin to saying I dislike the ground and want nothing further to do with it, but really I doubt most of my friends would care. I do identify primarily as lesbian though.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

To all of the lesbian aces, do you remember your first kiss with a girl? Would you share the story?

Also, though I may have already asked this and forgot, do you identify primarily as lesbian/gay, or as asexual? I mean both in social circles, and/or when asked, etc. AND when you think about yourself.

I've been meaning to check this thread for months and keep missing/forgetting to!

I primarily identify as asexual when dealing with AVEN groups but I typically identify as bisexual in LGBT groups, although I did break that "rule" not too long ago and am still deciding if it was a good idea. Socially I'm more likely to just say bisexual overall when asked since I'm more interested in a romantic relationship than people understanding my sexual orientation-- I won't address the asexual portion unless it becomes relevant or somehow sex comes up directly. When I think of myself I vary between which one I primarily identify with, but I think I identify by my romantic orientation a bit more because that's what my initial attraction is through and most relevant to starting relationships. Of course if sex has been a focal point that day I identify more closely with the asexual part... :wacko:

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
I've only really come out as asexual to my best friend, who's also my ex (urgh, cliche lesbian, I know). I imagine telling most people I don't like sex is akin to saying I dislike the ground and want nothing further to do with it, but really I doubt most of my friends would care. I do identify primarily as lesbian though.

That's cliche? XD Good to know! Here I thought it was a bit strange that I consider my ex a good friend.

Link to post
Share on other sites

hello, people. i have two inoccent questions that have been in my head some time ago. (i also would like to add that i might be lesbian, maybe im aromantic and i have some other doubts other that the small ones i have but i dont feel confident enought to ask them. those could tell me more about myself. that, i leave it till i feel more confident to ask them here if i feel i can; i just wanted to say that)

so lets begin with the questions, both i dont get them. (maybe soon i will ask the other important questions): ive watched some tv shows and i dont know why, theres a cliche of the dj girl thats lesbian, like if its a girl, she is lesbian or bi. those shows i mean tend to be around lesbians (at least the ones i remember). its curious theres are no straight dj girls

the second one, ive heard theres a relation between tumblr and lesbians, like thats a thing a lot of lesbians have, or so ive heard. i have tumblr, but i dont see the relation between lesbians and tumblr

thank you for the answers. please dont get me wrong if any of what i wrote sounds bad

Link to post
Share on other sites

Before I discovered that I am asexual, I thought I was a lesbian because I'm attracted to women more than men. I've only ever been with 1 person in a sexual way and she is my most recent ex. I didn't want sex, only to cuddle, kiss and hold hands but I did it to make her happy (which didn't last in the long run as she called me frigid, unloving etc.) I'm actually a very loving person and am always showing affection through hugs but seed doors nothing for me; watching it, doing it, talking about it doesn't turn me on. I think I would class myself as an asexual female who's interested in a romantic but not sexual relationship with another woman :-)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

I've only dated men but the strange thing is, I can't think about going anywhere further than kissing them. With women... Well that's a different story. I've never been with one though, so I'm not sure if it's just pure curiosity or something else.

The sad part is, I don't think I'll ever have an experience dating a woman because I don't want to come out as 'gay' or whatever because in my world it's gonna wreak havoc around me, and I know that my relatives will treat me differently (upon having seen that reaction to another family member). So yeah, being in the closet and having an interest in the same gender kind of sucks because it's like being highly allergic to chocolate and freaking LOVING chocolate. Ugh.

On another note, This thread is awesome!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Details! Woof. I had a few girlfriends, but it was just like... kissing and that sort of thing, no sex. I felt like a poser dyke for a while because of it and figured since I wasn't ever going to please a woman or find one that shared my distaste for sex, it was easier to be with men.

Now I'm single and since I can do whatever I want now I decided I'm just going to say "yolo" and find a nice asexual dyke to raise hell with until we settle down or whatever.

That's interesting because I'm the opposite! I'm bi but I always figured it'd be easier to find a female partner who would be okay with my distaste for sex, or at least who would be okay with my personal limits regarding it, than a male partner.

Link to post
Share on other sites

For the last few years, I have been trying to convince myself of the fact that I'm a lesbian, or at the very least primarily attracted to girls. But now I'm not so sure anymore. Looking back, I find that I never truly wanted to have sex with any of the girls I dated, had crushes on or was in love with (funnily enough, I also find that I never dated a girl I was in love with... coincidence?). Same with guys, though. I had a few crushes and dated two boys. I thought I wasn't that into them because I preferred girls. Now I'm not so sure anymore.

I still like girls. Of that, at least I'm sure. Women are lovely, fascinating creatures. I'm just not sure if I'll ever want to have sex with one of them.

Link to post
Share on other sites
That's interesting because I'm the opposite! I'm bi but I always figured it'd be easier to find a female partner who would be okay with my distaste for sex, or at least who would be okay with my personal limits regarding it, than a male partner.

Same here. I think I'd also be more willing to compromise with a female partner, whereas sex with a male partner is completely out of the question.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh my. We do need an asexy lesbian bar. We do! And in typical dyke manner, we shall start building it ourselves from scratch!

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
Dreamsofemerald

To all of the lesbian aces, do you remember your first kiss with a girl? Would you share the story?

Also, though I may have already asked this and forgot, do you identify primarily as lesbian/gay, or as asexual? I mean both in social circles, and/or when asked, etc. AND when you think about yourself.

Well I've only just recently made peace with my grey asexuality (I say gray because I have had sex in past relationships but a lot of that time I didn't enjoy it/want to or initiate it.)

My first lesbian kiss was actually spin the bottle haha but I didn't have a proper one till I fell in love with my best friend when I was 17!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Dreamsofemerald

I want to be prt of this bar! I may just end up the local drunk though haha

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

- Are you asexual lesbian or better called homoromantic?

I identify as aromantic asexual but I'm attracted to only girls sensually and aesthetically. Basically I want a female partner who's more of a close platonic friend than anything else :)
- How was it the process of discovering it? Did you find out first that you are homoromantic or lesbian -or insert here proper name- and then asexual?

At first I thought I was a lesbian, then after being in the lesbian dating pool for a while I realised I didn't like girls sexually or romantically
- Have you come out of the close as any of both?

The majority of my general social sphere assume I'm gay - I'm generally out as queer to everyone except my family. But I'm only out as asexual to about 5 friends ^^

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to be prt of this bar! I may just end up the local drunk though haha

Sounds fun

Link to post
Share on other sites

So glad to have somewhere I belong. I've been feeling so alone lately, maybe with the holidays and shit. I'm just looking for some friends, people to talk to, and aces who get me. Add me or message me if you have any advice.

<3 megan

Link to post
Share on other sites

Moceanu, if you are crafty and sturdy, you will receive the title 'honorary dyke'. But first off, you have something to prove!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...