Demisexual/Semisexual?

[Purnkin Spurce]

Alrighty, so this is my first time writing anything on here. I've just made this account like 5 minutes ago. But I've been reading posts on here for a while. I recently discovered (or feel) that I am in the asexual catatory. For years I thought I was bisexual, then pansexual. But now I'm not so sure. I realize now that I'm just really not that sexual. I have sexual urges like most people, but it's not specifically aimed at any person. If I'm masterbating (sorry if this is TMI) I don't think about a specific person, but instead when I am thinking about life/love/ and happiness..then I do picture someone. I don't even like the idea of picturing myself having sex. Sex is weird to me, I know it's human nature, but it's still a weird act to me. I think people look ridiculous while trying to have sex.

I don't crave sex, I don't have urges to jump anyone's bones. But what I do want is someone to hold hands with, to cuddle and snuggle up to. I want someone that I can spend the rest of my life with and not worry about when we're gonna have sex. I think maybe if I found the right person, but every time I tell myself that the feeling of wanting to have sex with them never happens. I hardly ever date, and when I do we never get to that point. I've had sexual experiences with others but it just wasn't pleasurable because it was in awkward situations. I just don't see myself as a sexual being. I see myself as an emotional person who wants someone to love me the way I want to be loved. How am I to date anyone or find my significant other if most people are sexual beings?

I just don't know, I'm pretty sure I'm demisexual. I'm attracted to people, and NOT their equipment. Them being attractive is a bonus. Example: Tom Hardy (Bane) is FUCKING hot as hell, but I still wouldn't want to (or can't picture) myself having sex with the guy. I just love who he is and how he presents himself. Make sense? Yeah, didn't think so either LOL

Maybe you can give me advice? Is this a real sexual orientation? Is what I'm feeling legit or something that is an issue? [/color][/size][/size][/size]

[thisunderground]

That sounds a lot more like bi/panromantic and asexual. demisexual is definitely real, but you seem to be describing aesthetic attraction, and romantic attraction. demisexuality is all about secondary sexual attraction so basically you maybe want to date someone and find them aestheticall pleasing but you don't want to have sex with them. eventually secondary sexual attraction does set in and you may feel sexual attraction towards them, but it seems as if sex at all was just not your thing. so maybe read on the different types of attraction and see what fits you best and if some day you do want to take that step then awesome! don't stress it,sexuality is fluid and you only need a label if you WANT one.

[Guest]

Hi there. Have some cake, first of all. :)

I have sexual urges like most people, but it's not specifically aimed at any person. If I'm masterbating (sorry if this is TMI) I don't think about a specific person, but instead when I am thinking about life/love/ and happiness..then I do picture someone. I don't even like the idea of picturing myself having sex. Sex is weird to me, I know it's human nature, but it's still a weird act to me. I think people look ridiculous while trying to have sex.

I don't crave sex, I don't have urges to jump anyone's bones. But what I do want is someone to hold hands with, to cuddle and snuggle up to. I want someone that I can spend the rest of my life with and not worry about when we're gonna have sex. I think maybe if I found the right person, but every time I tell myself that the feeling of wanting to have sex with them never happens. I hardly ever date, and when I do we never get to that point. I've had sexual experiences with others but it just wasn't pleasurable because it was in awkward situations. I just don't see myself as a sexual being. I see myself as an emotional person who wants someone to love me the way I want to be loved. How am I to date anyone or find my significant other if most people are sexual beings?

I just don't know, I'm pretty sure I'm demisexual. I'm attracted to people, and NOT their equipment. Them being attractive is a bonus. Example: Tom Hardy (Bane) is FUCKING hot as hell, but I still wouldn't want to (or can't picture) myself having sex with the guy. I just love who he is and how he presents himself. Make sense? Yeah, didn't think so either LOL

Only you can decide for yourself what, if any, label you find fitting for yourself. From my outside view, your description seems asexual to me - what you describe sounds like you feel aesthetic and romantic attraction, but no sexual one, and deal with your libido on your own. That fits right in with AVEN's definition of asexuality, and I suppose many (though not all) aces on here feel in a similar way. The main differences to how I myself feel are in how you deal with romance, and the question of repulsion; neither of these is part of the asexuality definition. I do identify myself as asexual. :)

Maybe you can give me advice? Is this a real sexual orientation? Is what I'm feeling legit or something that is an issue?

If you feel it, it's legit. You, and you alone, are the only authority to decide what's your orientation. :)