ElaineB Posted December 30, 2012 Share Posted December 30, 2012 It's a tough question. When you're married to a sexual person and you love them romantically, you want to give them anything you can to make them happy. Sex in that context is still an act of love, just not as mutually satisfying as I presume it is for most sexual couples. He knows and respects my asexual orientation and we have found common ground that works for us. That compromise is not a static thing, however, and shifts and changes often. Communication is absolutely the most important thing. Link to post Share on other sites
A60 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I am unable to answer the first half of the question,because I already did have sex to procreate, and now have a wonderful 42 year old son. I would prefer to never have sex again as I am a stone asexual. I am in a personal relationship now by choice for companionship. (he is 72 I am 60) This relationship does contain a sexual component, however I am fully responsible for not extricating myself from it. Should the day ever come that I no longer feel that I can live within this relationship, I shall move on. I understand that I am fully in control over my own life choices. Link to post Share on other sites
ace_of_wands Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 If I knew sex was going to be disappointing, I still would be a virgin today. Link to post Share on other sites
StormyLiffy Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 No wouldn't bother me at all I say your born alone and will die alone no problem Link to post Share on other sites
sinead Posted January 15, 2013 Share Posted January 15, 2013 I'd vastly prefer to remain a virgin my whole life Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowRosie Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Not at all. I liken it to my vegetarianism. "Oh my god! Vegetarian? How on earth do you live without bacon butties?" "I tried them, I don't like them, therefore I live very happily without something I don't like." Same goes with sex. I've tried it, had 3 relationships with men, hated sex so I am happy that I'll not be doing it again. Link to post Share on other sites
jcarlson Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 If I could find a relationship and never have to have sex I would be very happy. Like RainbowRosie, I have had 3 relationships with men and have not enjoyed the sex at all. It was such a chore and I felt it needed to be done to keep the relationship going. I'm not willing to keep that ruse up with anyone anymore. SO...yeah! No more sex for me! :D Link to post Share on other sites
RazorEddie Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 It is on my to-do list, just below 'Die in my sleep after a long and healthy life'. Link to post Share on other sites
anchor31 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 I want another child, but aside from that, I would be quite happy to never have sex again. Link to post Share on other sites
salvage Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I truly don't think it will ever bother me to never be sexually active in anyway. I certainly hope not, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Duggie Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 It wouldn't bother me a bit! I would not be bothered to never talk about it again, either. Link to post Share on other sites
LilithEve Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Honestly... I don't know whether it would bother me or not... You see, I lost my virginity to an a-hole who pretty much took it and then dumped me. Not only was the sex horrible, it was pretty scary because I found that I didn't know nearly as much as I thought I did as far as what sex entailed. So, I pretty much ended up having a complex because I felt becasue I wasn't a virgin that people would expect me to "know what I was doing", when honestly I still really had no clue. My logic was that if I was still a virgin, I would have an "excuse" as to why I wasn't particularly great in the sack. But not being a virgin, I'd be expected to be able to "perform". Therefore, a lot of what motivated me to have sex was to "get practice" more than it was becasue I truly wanted to. I wanted to feel confident sexually so I wouldn't lose soemone I really liked due to being bad in bed. The older I got, the worse this fear got... I would be like "I'm ___ years old" everyone is going to expect me to be experienced and good". Of course, this plan backfired. Because of my social akwardness, I slept with very few men. And unfortunetly, the men I did sleep with were either more inexperienced than I was so I still didn't learn anything, or were very, very selfish lovers who could care less if I enjoyed it or not as long as they were happy, and were too impatient to teach me anything. So needless to say... I have never enjoyed sex. But before I give up on it completely... I would like to try it once with a person who doesn't care about my lack of experience, who are themselves confident in their sexuality, and who care about my enjoyment and pleasure as much as they do theirs. I would just really like to experience that. Admittedly though, from a physiological standpoint, I'm not terribly attracted to people... nor do I miss sex now that I am not having it... so as far as having any "physical" needs met... I wouldn't miss it. Link to post Share on other sites
LonerButNotLonely Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Wouldn't bother me. I do miss hugs, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Ianigsy Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 For various reasons (I went to a very academic all-boys school between 11 and 18 so had very little contact with girls who weren't family members between those ages, so was very uncomfortable around the opposite sex when I went to university, then spent another 12 years or so in evangelical Christianity) it's never really happened for me, I reached the stage a couple of years ago where I realised that being inexperienced at my age was actually more of an issue to me than never having sex at all- most women in my age group are going to have been in at least one or two sexual relationships and I can't escape the suspicion that I'd only be a disappointment. Link to post Share on other sites
devotedtodreams Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Still a virgin and happy about it, so I wouldn't mind staying this way. Never really got what the big screaming deal about sex is, anyway Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Graves Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Wouldn't bother me at all if I could find a asexual partner that has the same mentality. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunako Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I'm 22 still a virgin and I'm happy to stay this way for the rest of my life Link to post Share on other sites
Member 35376 Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 I am not a virgin but a hug before I die will do more than well! (no.. I am not planning on dying for a long time yet, lol) Link to post Share on other sites
DidiTatsu Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 "I get my kicks above the waistline sunshine" I don't miss sex in the slightest. I did go through relationship withdrawal for a while though. I have been a vegetarian for a little over a year now. I had much stronger cravings for chicken than I ever had for sex or even a relationship. I don't miss chicken anymore either. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 If I knew sex was going to be disappointing, I still would be a virgin today. amen to that!!!! could have saved a lot of time and heartache! Link to post Share on other sites
phistory Posted January 31, 2013 Share Posted January 31, 2013 It's an odd thing, because I would in practice be perfectly okay with this. But there's something in the back of my head saying, "Never? Are you sure you would NEVER want to do this? Never is a pretty strong word, you know." Link to post Share on other sites
TreyTable Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 It would not bother me. Unless that means I can't clean out the pipes when that needs to be done. It'd be like never having steak again, but still have some protein. Link to post Share on other sites
cosmicbimbo Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I have never had sex and have no desire to have sex. Since I am aromtic, I don't see that harming me in any way. Link to post Share on other sites
Queer As Cat Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 aside from for the purposes of having children, i think i would be fine never having sex again at this point. we'll see if my opinion changes 10 years from now, i guess.... Link to post Share on other sites
NannyCorz Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Nope, wouldn't bother me in the slightest if I never had sex Link to post Share on other sites
Tool1989 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Wouldn't bother me at all. My girlfriend seems less interested in sex than she used to be and is more cuddly and wants to be close to me all the time....I think it is flattering but it can get a bit annoying because I need my space to chill. Link to post Share on other sites
sableraven Posted February 11, 2013 Share Posted February 11, 2013 Hmm. If Id come on this site about four years ago before I met my husband, I was a virgin then and really not interested in sex at all. And probably would have remained so. I did feel pangs of loneliness though, because I didnt have any bosom companions. I mean, family is fine and all, but friends are something entirely different and essential (in my life). A loner but not by choice! But asking me that question now, well its hard. I mean, if I were to just tell my husband we werent going to do it anymore, to him I think it would be like we just became roommates, and he wouldnt be able to stand it. Although we are primarily together because our personalities are cohesive.. I still have problems with him thinking about having sex with anyone else (I often wonder how fair this is, when Im often less than sexy, and he has a sexual addiction disorder). But I also do have to say I get a measure of satisfaction out of it, and I love him so much that his pleasure is my pleasure. Does that make sense? Without sounding childish or selfish? Im not completely cut off from feeling anything at all. I wouldnt let anyone else near me the way I let my husband near me, because I feel safe and have a connection with him different than other people. But if my husband wasnt with me (god forbid) then I could easily live out the rest of my life without sex and not give a damn. Link to post Share on other sites
Podsnap Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I'd give anything if I could even just tolerate "doing it". I have the exact same romantic feelings for the opposite sex as anyone else and would love to have a significant other and I'm completely tired of being weird and left out of everything. I'm considered good looking and could get married or at least have a boyfriend if it weren't for this little "problem". I have a lesbian friend who decided when she was in her late 20s that she wanted to fit in and be thought of as "normal" so she just went ahead and started dating men and married a guy. She says she thought sex with men would be really horrible but that once she got used to it, it wasn't so bad and that she actually even enjoys it once in a while even tho it isn't her true preference. I really wish I could just do what she did (she's insistant that I can) but the thought of someone getting on top of me actually scares me and I can't even stand kissing so I don't think it'd work. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevyn Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Never had it but I certainly don't feel like I'm missing it. I think there are lots of sexual people out there who confuse sex with intimacy. Intimacy is something I do miss. That sense of emotional fulfillment that comes from just being close to someone special. I hope maybe I'll find that gain someday. Link to post Share on other sites
Pulsewave Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 I have absolutely no intention of ever having sex ever again and so I'm more than happy and content to never experience it again. Any future relationship will be with someone who is also asexual sooooo, yeh, doesn't bother me. Link to post Share on other sites
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