Chess Club endorses Abstinence

[TheBlueGreenie]

I've heard of churches and conservatives endorse abstinence but this is the first chess club that I have ever heard of that openly practiced abstinence.

http://www.glossynews.com/artman/publish/c...ence-1233.shtml





2013 Mod Edit - For future reference:

Chess Club Rallies Behind Abstinence Ed. Program
By The Lean
Apr 7, 2005, 05:42

BEATTY, NV - Diverging from the position of most other student organizations, the Beatty High School Chess Club announced its solidarity with the school's new abstinence education initiative Friday, making the Chess Club the only group apart from the Southern Nevada World of Warcraft Society Beatty Chapter to formally declare support for the controversial program.

"We are all in agreement that the abstinence education program is a great way to teach students sexual responsibility," said Sheldon Elmquist, 17, Chess Club vice president. Sheldon added that sex education would now improve the club's average GPA by almost half a point.

"Students at Beatty High really need to know that the best kind of orgasm you can experience in high school is a Scholar's Mate on F7 against North Las Vegas Union in 31 seconds...boo-yah!" said Chess Club member Jordan Kliner, 16.

The abstinence education measure is just one of the many changes the Chess Club has endorsed in the past two years, including the replacement of the volleyball program with badminton, the abolition of the "I pick, you pick" kickball team assembly format, and a rule limiting the number of school-sanctioned dances per year to two.

The Chess Club also supported a number of failed measures, including a day off for the observance of the Vulcan new year and a designated Magic: The Gathering card trading area.

As if chess playing students need any more reason to advocate celibacy, meet their coach, Mrs. Newman. Pawn to rook nasty.

[hafnium]

its about sexual responsibility- not asexuality per se

[TheBlueGreenie]

True but I couldn't think of a better place to put this other than Off-A or Just for Fun. However, it is sex related and not particularily fun so thats how it ended up here.

[Chozo]

As if chess playing students need any more reason to advocate celibacy, meet their coach, Mrs. Newman. Pawn to rook nasty.

I'm a bad person because I laughed. It's ingrained, sorry :(

[borrowedTime]

OK, so I don't comprehend this article in any number of ways.

Firstly, why should a chess club support or oppose an abstinence policy? Or any other social or political issue which has no bearing on it either way.

I suppose the fact that such a thing as 'the Southern Nevada World of Warcraft Society Beatty Chapter' actually exists shouldn't surprise me too much. I understand even less, though, why it should support an abstinence policy.

The abstinence education measure is just one of the many changes the Chess Club has endorsed in the past two years, including the replacement of the volleyball program with badminton, the abolition of the "I pick, you pick" kickball team assembly format, and a rule limiting the number of school-sanctioned dances per year to two.

Ummm, have I *completely* missed the point of the Chess Club here? I'm thinking chess - that board game with knights and pawns, right? So why should it have any relation to badminton or dances?

If I were a volleyball player, I'd be fairly annoyed that the chess club was arguing either way about matters that obviously don't concern it remotely.

The Chess Club also supported a number of failed measures, including a day off for the observance of the Vulcan new year...

:o

Not that I've got anything against celebrating the Vulcan new year, but is this club just shouting off about totally random issues to get its name heard?

*baffled*

[Shivers]

Wha..... VULCAN new year??? Ummmm, you know what? I thought I was a nerd.

But these guys could outnerd the illegitemate offspring of Bill Gates and Dilbert as raised by William Shatner himself! And not in a good way!

And the volleyball/kickball/dances bit? *incomprehensible sputtering*

$100 says those kids get the crap kicked out of them on a regular basis. 10:1 odds. Any takers??

*tumbleweed drifts by*

Aghhh. Whose turn is it to vaccum this week?

[TheBlueGreenie]

Yeah I liked how they limited school dances to twice a year and wanted an official Magic the Gathering Day. This sounds too much like a stereotypical chess player - can people be poser nerds? You know what is weird I don't think I have ever played a stereotypical nerd in chess and the best players I have ever played have been Russian or smack talking coffeehouse players.

[winter]

You know what is weird I don't think I have ever played a stereotypical nerd in chess and the best players I have ever played have been Russian or smack talking coffeehouse players.

in washington square park there are groups of men who sit and play chess day in and out. they play each other and any takers. oddly enough, some of them look more like stereotypical hobos than nerds with their oversized coats and [often] beards, but they're all cracked geniuses.

[TheBlueGreenie]

Yes typically the best chess players look like disheveled bums - once at a tournament one of the players asked a tournament director if his opponent was any good. The director said "He has to be he looks like a homeless college professor."

I wonder if I started wearing dirty clothes that weren't color coordinated if it would make me a better player or if nothing else at least give me a pyschological edge over the competition.

[Jockey]

sounds like this chess club is just a general nerd gathering :D

[Schala Zeal]

Yes typically the best chess players look like disheveled bums - once at a tournament one of the players asked a tournament director if his opponent was any good. The director said "He has to be he looks like a homeless college professor."

I wonder if I started wearing dirty clothes that weren't color coordinated if it would make me a better player or if nothing else at least give me a pyschological edge over the competition.

Would that suggest that a "good chess player", on a high level I mean, would be putting hygiene and professional careers as much less important in their life and be kind of stereotypically viewed as this?

I'd like people's thought on this question.

[biggreenmonkey]

I would argue the article is satire.