aprilblenk Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 How can you tell the difference? I mean I've looked at people and thought 'wow, he/she's cute/hot' and gotten butterflies inside from looking at them but how is that different from sexual attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
Lia Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 This image helped me a bit :) Crush: A crush is a romantic attraction to someone, a desire for a romantic relationship of some kind, a desire that is possibly temporary in nature, possibly never to be acted upon. Sexual attraction: Sexual attraction is a feeling that sexual people get that causes them to desire sexual contact with a specific other person. So...ask yourself: "Do I want to have sex with this person?" If the answer is "No" then it's a crush/squish. Link to post Share on other sites
Naosuu Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 That image is adorable. Anyway, I'd like to add onto what Lia has posted: Crush: when you think about that person all the time, you feel happy/exhilarated when you talk to your crush, your mood is extremely affected by how you interact with your crush (extremely happy when you talk to them and devastated when you don't), you get moody if you don't interact with that person... to paraphrase Fisher, people get high off of being with their crush. Sexual attraction: I could totally elaborate with specific details, but that enters the forbidden-poop-storm topic. Sooo.... stick with Lia's post. :) Link to post Share on other sites
98slbrookes98 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 This image helped me a bit :) Crush: A crush is a romantic attraction to someone, a desire for a romantic relationship of some kind, a desire that is possibly temporary in nature, possibly never to be acted upon. Sexual attraction: Sexual attraction is a feeling that sexual people get that causes them to desire sexual contact with a specific other person. So...ask yourself: "Do I want to have sex with this person?" If the answer is "No" then it's a crush/squish. I agree with this though I think sexuals can feel sexually attracted to their crushes too whereas we asexuals are not. Link to post Share on other sites
Quiverfree Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 This image helped me a bit :) Crush: A crush is a romantic attraction to someone, a desire for a romantic relationship of some kind, a desire that is possibly temporary in nature, possibly never to be acted upon. Sexual attraction: Sexual attraction is a feeling that sexual people get that causes them to desire sexual contact with a specific other person. So...ask yourself: "Do I want to have sex with this person?" If the answer is "No" then it's a crush/squish. I agree with this though I think sexuals can feel sexually attracted to their crushes too whereas we asexuals are not. Definitely. If you're sexually attracted to someone, then you want to have sex with them. If you have a crush/squish, you want to have a relationship with them or get to know them better. The two things can happen at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 The difference between the romantic attraction of a crush and sexual attraction is light years, light years, and more light years. It's so great that I've only felt the first and not the second. And consistently, I feel the first and never the second. I haven't been taught any of this, I just feel it. It is from reasoning inductively about my experiences that I can conclude these things. Link to post Share on other sites
Siggy Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Crushes are like a little obsession. You want to know more about the person, or you want to be near them, you want to touch them, or just look at them, or something. Crushes don't last very long, but I think this varies from person to person. Sexual attraction is harder to describe because ideas about it are varied. I consider myself gray-A, possibly experiencing sexual attraction, but I definitely don't experience crushes. Basically my sexual attraction, if it's there, is permanently on slow burn. And of course, there are plenty of people around here who experience crushes without sexual attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 I consider myself gray-A, possibly experiencing sexual attraction, but I definitely don't experience crushes. Basically my sexual attraction, if it's there, is permanently on slow burn. And of course, there are plenty of people around here who experience crushes without sexual attraction. I'll second this. In my opinion I experience both sexual attraction and crushes, but crushes are strong, powerful critters, and sexual attraction for me is slight, often unnoticeable... and I rather like the "slow burn" phrase a great deal. I don't experience what some AVENites define as sexual attraction... aka, looking at someone and having an internal desire to have sex with them. I have never felt that in my life, yet I most certainly do define myself as sexual. So yes, you can have one or the other, or both... in sexuals, crushes tend to include some sort of desire for physical intimacy. Link to post Share on other sites
eamonn Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Crushes, as defined here by asexuals, seem to consist mostly of romantic feelings. As a sexual, I have to say that crushes can involve a mix of sexual and romantic attraction, and feel the need to point out that "sexual attraction" is just as diverse and varied a kind of feeling (or group of feelings) as is "romantic attraction". Actually, Siggy's works well; it's a kind of temporary obsession. Link to post Share on other sites
Junebug03 Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Thanks for that image. I was wondering the same thing and the picture helped. Link to post Share on other sites
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