Virginity

[Vampyremage]

I think I'll do it just once with a professional sometime in the future, just for the experience.

You think sex is a big deal and that you'll learn something? I think you'll not gather much experience if you just do it once. I suggest you not to do it without having a strong reason, because you'll probably gonna regret it, but it's your choice.

That's not really a statement you can make without knowing a whole lot more about the individual in question and their motivations and makeup. Maybe they'll regret it or maybe they'll find it a worth while learning experience or any other of numerous possible outcomes.

[Notte stellata]

My friends always said that when you did it for the first time, then it was very difficult to live without. Like... now that you know what's the big deal, you're going to want it more.

And honestly speaking... if anything, that sort of speech would put me off sex. xD

I've heard of that a lot too. And the more ridiculous one:"A woman will never forget the man she lost her virginity to." Of course, all these BS are used to warn young girl to not "give herself away" before marriage.

Like just to be honest, most people don't forget anyone they've had sex with, because society has made it such a big deal. It's not like kissing, where I would actually just be sitting back, relaxing, and remember all of a sudden, "Wow! I completely forgot I've kissed that person!" No one just sits back and says, "I completely forget I had sex with that person!"

Yeah, I realized that quote was somewhat misleading...Perhaps it's a cultural thing, because I'm from China, where keeping virginity before marriage is still a quite big deal, especially for girls. When people say "a woman will never forget the man she lost her virginity to", the underlying meaning is usually "she'll always love (or have a special feeling for) her first sexual partner". That's also a reason why many men only want to marry a virgin, because that way he can have her all to himself, including her past, present and future.

[apop]

I'm not "ignorant" about anything.

Don't be absurd. There are plenty of things that nobody knows.

[Verb]

I'm not "ignorant" about anything.

Don't be absurd. There are plenty of things that nobody knows.

Maybe that's the difference between being "Ignorant about" and "Ignorant of".

[5_♦♣]

About remembering being kissed/having sex and LTRs: I still remember both and I wasn't in a relationship of any sort, let alone a long term one. The last time I kissed/was kissed was 9 years ago with my first crush. The guy I had sex with was someone I sorta knew (long story). I still remember him though.

[The Bearded One]

Yeah, I realized that quote was somewhat misleading...Perhaps it's a cultural thing, because I'm from China, where keeping virginity before marriage is still a quite big deal, especially for girls. When people say "a woman will never forget the man she lost her virginity to", the underlying meaning is usually "she'll always love (or have a special feeling for) her first sexual partner". That's also a reason why many men only want to marry a virgin, because that way he can have her all to himself, including her past, present and future.

I've never understood why anyone would seek a sexually exclusive relationship that lasts for the rest of their live with a virgin. Of the men I've asked about this, only one gave a sensible answer (and I forget what that was). As far as I can tell men want to marry virgins because they are idiots.

Like just to be honest, most people don't forget anyone they've had sex with, because society has made it such a big deal. It's not like kissing, where I would actually just be sitting back, relaxing, and remember all of a sudden, "Wow! I completely forgot I've kissed that person!" No one just sits back and says, "I completely forget I had sex with that person!"

I kiss as a greeting, a show of affection, and in a romantic/sexual relationship. Since I was a child I've thought of romantic/sexual kissing as a sexual activity. I remember all eleven people I've had sex with by kissing. None of them are that easy to forget. :)

[Notte stellata]

Yeah, I realized that quote was somewhat misleading...Perhaps it's a cultural thing, because I'm from China, where keeping virginity before marriage is still a quite big deal, especially for girls. When people say "a woman will never forget the man she lost her virginity to", the underlying meaning is usually "she'll always love (or have a special feeling for) her first sexual partner". That's also a reason why many men only want to marry a virgin, because that way he can have her all to himself, including her past, present and future.

I've never understood why anyone would seek a sexually exclusive relationship that lasts for the rest of their live with a virgin. Of the men I've asked about this, only one gave a sensible answer (and I forget what that was). As far as I can tell men want to marry virgins because they are idiots.

LOL, I agree with the idiots judgment. In the past, marrying a virgin was to make sure she wasn't pregnant before getting married, so the man wouldn't have to take care of another man's child. But in the modern world it makes no sense. As far as I know, the reason today's men want to marry a virgin can be: 1) They think virgins are "virtuous" and will be faithful in the marriage; 2) They're afraid of being compared to their wife's previous sexual partners; 3) As I mentioned before, the myth that women will always love their first sexual partner; 4) Their religion tells them everyone should wait until marriage.

[Nogitsune]

I'm not "ignorant" about anything.

Don't be absurd. There are plenty of things that nobody knows.

Way to take a line out of context. I'm not "ignorant" about anything that only virgins, and all virgins, are ignorant about. Better? Also, not knowing something != being ignorant, because again, negative implications of the word. No one would say I'm "ignorant" about how to properly torture someone for fun, because ignorance is usually understood as something that should be changed.

[apop]

...ignorance is usually understood as something that should be changed.

If you want to use a bizarre new definition of the word, then I guess I can't stop you. Halifax Jupiter Mexico.

[Guest member25959]

I think I've said this before but I haven't been a virgin since 2003/04. The first time was meh, I didn't really consider it sex for the longest time because it was so meh.

[silvernlilac]

Im a virgin and planning on staying that way for the rest of my life :D

I have to say the way the media talk about virgins really ****es me off, especially when I read things like 'oh you'll meet loads of virgins in heaven or something' like being a virgin is some reward for all those sex hungry men out there, yuck

[Celaina]

The idea of sex...ugh No thank you. It's not a virginity/no virginity thing, it's a "no sex" thing. I...ugh, even just thinking about it sometimes makes my stomach turn. I have suuuuch an aversion to sexual intercourse. So much so, a friend of mine thought I was joking, got all close and weird and touchy and offered to "change my mind" and I freaked on him. He felt horrible, but at least he believed me then.

So, what I guess I'm trying to get at, is that it isn't a "maintaining virginity" thing so much as a large dislike for sex. That isn't to say I won't meet someone someday who might change that thinking, but with the way I am when it comes to touching and just thinking of myself in those situations, it doesn't look very likely, ever.

Ugh, unpleasant.

[Kaillem]

Meh. I'm a virgin. Haven't even held hands or kissed romantically. In fact, the only time I've ever been kissed by someone who wasn't a family member was when a friend got drunk at a birthday party and ambushed all his friends by kissing them in random places on their faces. He was wearing bright red lipstick, too. :lol:

Not planning to lose the V-card, but it's a possibility someday. *shrug*

[Empty Chairs & Tables]

So, what I guess I'm trying to get at, is that it isn't a "maintaining virginity" thing so much as a large dislike for sex. That isn't to say I won't meet someone someday who might change that thinking, but with the way I am when it comes to touching and just thinking of myself in those situations, it doesn't look very likely, ever.

This is exactly how I felt, prior to becoming involved with my SO. I was very surprised to realize that no, I was not a repulsed asexual as I had thought, and was actually fine with sex with my SO. I still think, though, that there would be very very very few (if any) other people I would be fine having sex with, even now that I have been "introduced" to the activity and have no aversion to it with my SO. So perhaps I am "demi-repulsed" if we want to add even more labels to the mix? (Though perhaps more accurately, it would be "demi-non-repulsed" or even "grey non-repulsed" as there exists at least one person with whom I am not averse to engaging in sex.)

[Ronny]

I can't see myself ever having sex, physical contact with others is very unpleasant for me. And to be honest, when I actually think about sexual intercourse I feel a little sick sometimes. It's the human body, you see. So squishy and inelegant, leaking everywhere. I just feel sick, I feel really sick.

The only reason I even pleasure myself is to stop the images that keep flashing up in my head, honestly, it keeps me sane. But that's a private thing, I could not stomach letting someone touch me, I just couldn't.

[Strangelove]

I put myself down as not a virgin, and while I don't regret as such, the circumstances were hardly ideal.

I lost my viginity at 23 (I identified as straight at the time, but bi now, altho I have a lot in common with aces. Keep up at the back!). At the time I was conscious I was getting older, hadn't had any interest from men, and had the nagging thought I may be 'unloveable'. Serendipitously I found myself friends with an older man who I ended up sleeping with a couple of times as a 'fling'. It wasn't unpleasant, he was a very caring man who did his best to make it easier for me. I don't regret that, but I didn't love him and it was hardly the best reason really was it.

The only othe time I've had sex was about 3 yrs later, it was when a group of us who knew each other from a forum met in the flesh. It was borne out of a vague sense of "this is what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm supposed to be enjoying it, this is what everyone else enjoys..." (yes, I bought the dummy) "...and this guy is the best offer I'm going to get". Again it wasn't unpleasant, but I felt no connection to this guy doing stuff to me (altho I liked him perfectly well in the friendly sense) and I was just going through the motions.

In a sense I regret both, because I allowed myself to be put in a more intimate situation than I really wanted, and for reasons other than the "I really love you" one. In the second case on false preyences, which is pretty hurtful to the other person. BUT on the other hand I don't regret it, because I know how doubting I was of myself before I lost it, and the shot in the arm it gave me. Again not the most wholesome of reasons, but we're all wise with hindsight aren't we. I did the best I saw at the time. This second guy was 8yrs ago btw.

[Kozlov]

I find intercourse to be repulsive and inelegant. I've always considered it an animalistic thing and I pity my sexual friends for needing it. I've never felt the need to masturbate either, which for some reason cracks my friends up when we come up with such topics.

I wouldn't have sex even with a possible partner (though I hardly desire a romantic relatioship), he'd have to deal with it, or fuck off.

[Estranged]

inelegant

Love that. It's called "bumpin uglies" for a reason, eh?

[Kozlov]

inelegant

Love that. It's called "bumpin uglies" for a reason, eh?

Well said, INTJ comrade.

[complicated]

Do you want to do with someone you love?

[PSUtatiana]

Haha lots of people on AVEN are still virgins. And to answer your question, maybe in the future, but not right now.

T.

[mc²]

Yeah, still a virgin, I'm actually not sure where I fit on the spectrums but suspect that I'm either Grey-A or Demi, I'm rather hoping Demi since I'm certainly very much romantic and want to have kids and a partner. I've had offers before but always turned them down, even with partners, I just didn't feel ready or interested. I very much want to fall in love with somebody one day and experience life as the rest of the 99% do, it just feels kinda unlikely...

[CDSM]

Am I? Yes.

Would I? Yes, but I'd prefer not to.

[Castor]

Yep still , and hope rather not, hopes that she will understand :P

[Electric Barbarella]

Not really. I guess. (Unless we're talking specifically about penetration here, yeah? The penis-in-vagina type, haha.) I'm biromantic and demisexual. I've done things with partners I felt comfortable with (ie, that I felt emotionally connect to), but they were not men, so. :lol: I don't call myself a virgin anymore, but I guess it can be a matter of perspective.

...and this has officially been TMI. Sorry about that. -__-

[Guest]

Moving to Asexual Q&A

Rather Be Batman, The Gray Area Moderator

[Nomad in Stasis]

I am, and if my partner asks me too, I will try it, though I will go slowly with it and at any point if I or she says stop, we do.

[MadRat]

I´m still a virgin and I don´t want to have sex, so I refuse to date sexuals. I´m not sure if I want any partner at all.

[Janus the Fox]

Still a virgin, and no real desire to lose it nor share with romantically. Otherwise it wouldn't make a difference to me if I lost it to man or woman.  

[Guest]

I am...but I've never been in love. Maybe if I was and she wanted to, I would...who knows?