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I am a rock

Asexuals (Gray-sexuals) who feel sexual attraction.

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I am a rock

I'm wondering if anyone can share any details of how they feel this. I guess I'll start. Whenever I see someone for the first time I may feel an initial attraction to them. I had always considered this to be a sexual attraction, but now I think the sexual part of it may have just been cultural conditioning. "You're supposed to want to have sex with women who look like this and have these types of features." It may have been just an aesthetic attraction. I never acted on these feelings. In fact if any of these people had offered to have sex with me in that moment I certainly would have said no. This initial attraction very quickly dissipates. If it's not just someone I pass on the street and I have continued interaction with them, eventually after at least a year and I feel like I know them fairly well, the attraction may return. If my attraction were like an EKG there would be an initial spike at the beginning, quickly going to flatline, and then, just when you think the patient is dead it spikes again. This is why I identify as demi-sexual. However at this point these women have written me off as not interested (if they were interested in me) or as just a friend, so I've never been able to find out if I can 'go all the way' with a relationship, in a romantic sense as well as a sexual one. I'm also pretty introverted so that doesn't help things either. What's most confusing to me is how people enter into a relationship at all, but that's a topic for another thread. I suppose the same description I just gave can be applied to my romantic attractions as well. Thanks for your help. :)

Whoops. Just realized I posted this in the wrong category. Sorry about that.

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Celeritas

I never acted on these feelings. In fact if any of these people had offered to have sex with me in that moment I certainly would have said no.

Huh. Yeah, that kind of sums up my experiences of sexual attraction.

In my case, I've found that in the past, I've sometimes felt sexual attraction, but never to the point where I did anything about it, although this was partly social awkwardness - sometimes I would meet people who would make me wonder about what sex with them would be like, but that was as far as it went.

I haven't felt that kind of attraction in several years. I still sometimes feel a kind of physical attraction - a kind of warm, physical appreciation of someone's appearance, rather than simply an aesthetic appreciation - but I only want to look at and maybe platonically touch (eg. hug, sit close to) the person I feel that for. I have no interest in taking it futher, into kissing or anything. I once saw someone describe this as a sort of sensual atttraction, rather than a sexual one.

Also, I have a fluctuating sex drive, that is usually fairly low, but which sometimes spikes (it doesn't seem to be really connected to attraction, though).

But anyway, even on those uncommon occasions when I did feel attraction, it was never enough to make me interested in seeing where it led to, really.

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Faelights

Moved from Off-A to The Gray Area.

Faelights,

Temp. Off-A Moderator.

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Janus DarkFox

I experience the same thing. I experience aesthetic attractions for many kinds of people, men and women but there's nothing else to it. The attractions would be short lived and goes away. There are rare times the attractions last longer but it is not combined with wanting to be with them or having or desiring sex with them. I'm still Aromantic and Asexual because of this.Ā 

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MadRat

I donĀ“t know how to describe it but sexual attraction is not like only appreciating someoneĀ“s appearance.

I have been sexually attracted to one man only. It has probably something to do with him being the nicest and the most charismatic human being IĀ“ve ever met. :wub: I think for sexuals itĀ“s often the same - they are attracted to a person emotionally, aesthetically and sexually in the same time, they canĀ“t separate types of attraction.

Sexual attraction is really sexual. :D You would not doubt about it if it happened to you.

I doubt about myself in a way "OMG? Why would a man like him wanted to have sex with a woman like me?" but I donĀ“t doubt I would be able to have sex with him if he wanted and if he would be understanding enough to respect my abnormal boundaries. Only a handshake with him maked me wet and turned on. :redface: :lol:

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honor is all

I donĀ“t know how to describe it but sexual attraction is not like only appreciating someoneĀ“s appearance.

I have been sexually attracted to one man only. It has probably something to do with him being the nicest and the most charismatic human being IĀ“ve ever met. :wub: I think for sexuals itĀ“s often the same - they are attracted to a person emotionally, aesthetically and sexually in the same time, they canĀ“t separate types of attraction.

Sexual attraction is really sexual. :D You would not doubt about it if it happened to you.

I doubt about myself in a way "OMG? Why would a man like him wanted to have sex with a woman like me?" but I donĀ“t doubt I would be able to have sex with him if he wanted and if he would be understanding enough to respect my abnormal boundaries. Only a handshake with him maked me wet and turned on. :redface: :lol:

Yeah I'm that kind of grey-a. I feel the attraction but don't have a libido to drive me to ACTIVELY act upon it. The emphasized word was 'actively' because I would never actively propose or seek out a sexual encounter (just not that bothered about it) but if the setting, circumstances (i.e. the person had a condom for example) and the moment was right I wouldn't not mind 'doing the deed' with the person at all. In actual fact I have done it a few times both with men and women and it was all right (see, not 'wow' not 'omg' just 'right'). However the reason I did do it was not because of an active desire or 'urge' but because it was quiet, the house was empty, I already browsed my blogs and there was nothing on the telly and nothing to do in general. :P :lol: However in 95% per cent of those situations I didn't have any desire to act upon my attraction at all even though my initial attraction is VERY strong as in my head feels light, I tingle all over like a school bell and I automatically think of tearing the clothes off the person, touching them all over but as soon as we greet each other or interact in any other way for a few seconds the moment goes :wacko: :lol:. PS. Those attractions are not tied to any emotional or romantic connection (I'm a hardcore aro) and I do not feel the need to masturbate. On second thoughts, all 4 people I slept with were people I knew for under 2 hours. I doubt I could sleep with friends.

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MadRat

I donĀ“t know how to describe it but sexual attraction is not like only appreciating someoneĀ“s appearance.

I have been sexually attracted to one man only. It has probably something to do with him being the nicest and the most charismatic human being IĀ“ve ever met. :wub: I think for sexuals itĀ“s often the same - they are attracted to a person emotionally, aesthetically and sexually in the same time, they canĀ“t separate types of attraction.

Sexual attraction is really sexual. :D You would not doubt about it if it happened to you.

I doubt about myself in a way "OMG? Why would a man like him wanted to have sex with a woman like me?" but I donĀ“t doubt I would be able to have sex with him if he wanted and if he would be understanding enough to respect my abnormal boundaries. Only a handshake with him maked me wet and turned on. :redface: :lol:

Yeah I'm that kind of grey-a. I feel the attraction but don't have a libido to drive me to ACTIVELY act upon it. The emphasized word was 'actively' because I would never actively propose or seek out a sexual encounter (just not that bothered about it) but if the setting, circumstances (i.e. the person had a condom for example) and the moment was right I wouldn't not mind 'doing the deed' with the person at all.

Haha, no, you are not the same kind of grey-A. I have a libido, a pretty high...but IĀ“m too shy and absolutelly inexperienced when it comes to sex and I just couldnĀ“t do anything. When thereĀ“s only one person in my damned life who is my exception and this one person is inaccessible, what can I do?

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The Joker

I feel an initial attraction sometimes, but I know that I wouldn't have sex with a girl I was only attracted to if given the chance I feel as if I would have to know her well or have a close emotional bond.

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Pin

can very much sympathise with the idea of social conditioning mentioned, was very confused, though i didn't feel it, with what it meant to be attracted to people when i was younger because you are 'taught' that girls like boys and these are the boys that are attractive etc. etc.

Now I know I have to have some personal information on the person, i don't have to have had a conversation with them, but i may have noticed how passionate they are (PING) or, they are friends with my friends and after a while I notice their loyalty to them (PING) it could just be the way someone walks.

Sometimes I've been immediately drawn to someone, but its because they remind me of someone I was once/am attracted to, and if thats because of how they look, this melts away pretty quickly as I start to experience this new person for themselves rather than as the person they remind me of, if its because of their personality then this can be a little confusing and I have to question if I really like them for them or for this other person.

I classify this attraction that i'm talking about as a "wow i COULD want to have sex with you" and its pretty close, depending on how passionate/loyal/well i know them, to a completely normal sexual attraction. But at the end of the day, I'm only actually sexually attracted to these kinds of people after a while of emotional build up.

I have quite a high libido, but I couldn't 'get-it-up' for anyone I wasn't genuinely sexually attracted to as just mentioned. I'm turned off by even just kissing someone I'm at the 'could-be-interested' stage with. Pretty frustrating :P

I identify as demi-sexual panromantic.

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