Jump to content

Do You Want Children?


significantlysilent

  

  1. 1. Do You Want Children?

    • Yes, my own (through sex)
      91
    • Yes, adoption
      148
    • Yes, by being a step-parent
      30
    • Maybe
      70
    • Maybe, circumstantial
      65
    • Indifferent
      18
    • No, not at all
      242
    • I already have my own children (through sex)
      14
    • I already have adopted children
      0
    • I already am a step-parent
      1
    • I am physically incapable of having my own children (through sex)
      10
    • I don't Know
      24
    • Yes, by artificial insemination
      45
    • I already have my own children (through artificial insemination)
      0
    • Yes, by in vitro fertilization
      29
    • Yes, by being a foster-parent
      49
    • I already am a foster-parent
      1
    • Yes, by surrogate
      3
    • I'm Not Sure Yet
      13
  2. 2. What Is Your Age?

    • <15
      18
    • 15?20
      220
    • 21?25
      189
    • 26?30
      66
    • 31?35
      31
    • 36?40
      17
    • >40
      17
  3. 3. What Is Your Gender?

    • Male
      122
    • Female
      351
    • Agender
      40
    • Androgynous
      22
    • Androsexual
      2
    • Bi(Tri/Quad/Etc)gender
      7
    • Cisgender
      34
    • FtM
      4
    • Genderfluid
      16
    • Genderqueer
      25
    • Gynosexual
      0
    • Intersex
      2
    • MtF
      2
    • Neutrois
      20
    • Transgender
      7
    • Transexual
      3
    • Transyada
      7
    • Not Sure
      22
    • Pangender
      2
    • I'm Not Sure Yet
      3
  4. 4. What Is Your Romantic Orientation?

    • Aromantic
      109
    • Gray-romantic
      42
    • Heteromantic
      205
    • Homoromantic
      29
    • Biromantic
      68
    • Panromantic
      71
    • Polyromantic
      5
    • Omniromantic
      2
    • Not Sure
      86
    • Demiromantic
      37
    • Hyporomantic
      0
    • Semiromantic
      3
    • I'm Not Sure Yet
      7
  5. 5. What Is Your Sexual Orientation?

    • Asexual
      426
    • Gray-A
      69
    • Demisexual
      46
    • Heterosexual
      24
    • Homosexual
      7
    • Bisexual
      8
    • Pansexual
      5
    • Polysexual
      0
    • Omnisexual
      0
    • Not Sure
      29
    • Hyposexual
      4
    • Semisexual
      1
    • Undefinitive
      2
    • I'm Not Sure Yet
      7

This poll is closed to new votes


Recommended Posts

I. Hate. Children. Seriously. You could not pay me to be a mother.

I don't actively hate children but I don't want to share any space with them. I am SO glad my circumstances meant there's never been any question of having them. I'm very grateful my siblings feel the same way; I don't want to be anyone's aunt. I've never liked children much, not even when I was one. I simply have no interest in them, I don't want to talk to them, and I can't abide screaming babies and toddlers.

Link to post
Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone

To be honest I really dislike children and I have no desire to have kids. They just aren't for me. This might have more to do with my gender identity rather than my asexuality but I have a feeling it's seperate from both.

When I move out I want a kitten or kittens.

Link to post
Share on other sites
carolineashley

I'm not really a kid person, so having children/adopting is not something I want to do. I'm somewhat tokophobic- not so much that I couldn't suck it up and have a kid if I wanted to- but I just don't want nine months of morning sickness and getting kicked from inside my tummy and then having to go through childbirth and deal with a future full of crying baby that keeps me up and pukes and pees and then puberty and just... All the things that come with a kid, the time and money and responsibility- I don't think I am or will ever be responsible enough to handle all that. I'm just barely responsible for myself, I don't think I could ever adequately take care of another person.

I don't have an overall problem with kids (other than I am really not very good with kids at all), I just wouldn't be able to keep up with one and keep up with myself and my house and what I want to do for a living (being an artist is a full-time thing, and putting a kid on top of that would really not help me at all).

Link to post
Share on other sites

Apparently the female brain is designed to deliberately blank out memories of pain in childbirth, otherwise no rational person would ever have more than one! I don't think any parent would say it isn't a responsibility, and a tough one at that, and now my kids are at a more enjoyable age, I will happily say that getting woken up for 3am feed or nappy change is hellish and something I am glad not to have to repeat ever again.

I find looking after kids difficult, but rewarding. I can't buy Lego for myself (well, I can, but it's heinously expensive and not as half as much fun to do without an enthusiastic 7 year old helping), going to the zoo is more fun with somebody who's only really seen tigers and lions in books, going to the swings is socially acceptable, and women who would never give me the time of day when I was a single ace suddenly come up and want to chat. Obviously whether or not you consider that latter one a reward or not depends on who you are, I just found it was an interesting surprise.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Might have kids one day, probably through sex and I'm used to doing that by now, and my boyfriend wouldn't want it any other day (lord and master =_=). Of course at the moment I do loathe children and probably go even more mental than I already am about babies screaming, and I'm terrible at looking after myself as it is... so yeah, maybe one day in the further future, when I have a job and can afford to buy more things than just cat food XD

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

don't like kids, don't feel a thing for them and I am pushing my age of having one.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't want kids and I don't think I'll want them in the future. I can't even imagine having to take care for another human being :mellow:

Link to post
Share on other sites

I love kids and hope someday I will have them (my own or adopted one), the problem is I hope to find a guy with the same heteromantic asexual orientation but in my town I meet only morons that I can't even call men ... :'( IMHO

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Scarlet Spider

I don't want kids and I don't think I'll want them in the future. I can't even imagine having to take care for another human being mellow.gif

This!

As it would also be equally as hard without a proper job. Because that's what gives you the time and money needed to raise them, it all depends on your job as well as the amount of free time you have throughout the day. As it stands right now i have no intention of ever having kids, but somewhere in the future that may change depending on where i am 3-4 years from now.

Link to post
Share on other sites

people my age now are having kids, getting married and such and my first thought when i hear about this is "but they are only my age. surely they are too young for that stuff"

i'm 28.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I hate them anyway, they're just nuisances. Prefer animals.

Now in all fairness I don't think I've ever seen a child come into my lounge with a live frog between its teeth, drop it, proceed to try and eat it off the carpet, and then deposit some of the remains, along with a load of claw marks, on my trousers. laugh.gif

Very true, Ritchie, but there's probably a stage when they put anything and everything into their mouths just for the hell of it!

Great answer!

Link to post
Share on other sites

No. not at all

23

Trigender (vote: Bigender)

Aromantic

Asexual

I can't stand children and I can't even take proper care of myself, bringing a child into the equation would simply be irresponsible. A child needs...,you know... hugs and stuff, and I can't deal with that. And they're never quiet, and they don't come cheap.

I've never had an interest in children...

Link to post
Share on other sites
The Scrabbler

I really want to have kids some day. Preferably through adoption.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Kitty Spoon Train

I would never want to actually have my own though, there are too many homeless kids already. Just like with pets, I prefer to adopt. smile.gif

I've always had a lot of respect for this attitude.

Whenever people talk about how being childfree is "selfish", it puts me in mind of people who breed companion animals because they want a specific designer breed, rather than to give a poor homeless creature a loving home. Nothing seems more selfish to me than to create life for your own ends. ie. For the feeling of "raising your own genetic material" or whatever. I've got moments where I can actually relate to the appeal (it's only human and natural after all), but I can't see how it's anything other than selfish, as long as there is poverty and child homelessness in the world.

As for me: I've always grown up feeling like the usual marriage and kids thing isn't going to be my "thing" in the future. And combine that with my extreme independence and introversion and borderline asexuality, and I doubt I'll ever change my mind about this. :lol:

Link to post
Share on other sites
Notte stellata

I would never want to actually have my own though, there are too many homeless kids already. Just like with pets, I prefer to adopt. smile.gif

I've always had a lot of respect for this attitude.

Whenever people talk about how being childfree is "selfish", it puts me in mind of people who breed companion animals because they want a specific designer breed, rather than to give a poor homeless creature a loving home. Nothing seems more selfish to me than to create life for your own ends. ie. For the feeling of "raising your own genetic material" or whatever. I've got moments where I can actually relate to the appeal (it's only human and natural after all), but I can't see how it's anything other than selfish, as long as there is poverty and child homelessness in the world.

Yeah, if childfree people are selfish, they're no more selfish than those who want biological kids. After all, most people are selfish. They weigh the pros and cons to decide if they'll do something. As for having children, some people think the pros (e.g. carrying on their genetic line, the joy of nurturing a new life, or even expecting children to take care of them when they get old) outweigh the cons (e.g. time, money and energy you have to invest in children), so they choose to have children; others think the opposite (probably because they just don't like children so much), so they choose to be childfree. Neither group is superior to the other - they both choose what's best to themselves based on their personal values.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd likely adopt or foster, possibly on my own, but I can't do that in my stupid country unless I get married to a man.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Kitty Spoon Train

I would never want to actually have my own though, there are too many homeless kids already. Just like with pets, I prefer to adopt. smile.gif

I've always had a lot of respect for this attitude.

Whenever people talk about how being childfree is "selfish", it puts me in mind of people who breed companion animals because they want a specific designer breed, rather than to give a poor homeless creature a loving home. Nothing seems more selfish to me than to create life for your own ends. ie. For the feeling of "raising your own genetic material" or whatever. I've got moments where I can actually relate to the appeal (it's only human and natural after all), but I can't see how it's anything other than selfish, as long as there is poverty and child homelessness in the world.

Yeah, if childfree people are selfish, they're no more selfish than those who want biological kids. After all, most people are selfish. They weigh the pros and cons to decide if they'll do something. As for having children, some people think the pros (e.g. carrying on their genetic line, the joy of nurturing a new life, or even expecting children to take care of them when they get old) outweigh the cons (e.g. time, money and energy you have to invest in children), so they choose to have children; others think the opposite (probably because they just don't like children so much), so they choose to be childfree. Neither group is superior to the other - they both choose what's best to themselves based on their personal values.

Yeah, I think "selfishness" is a bit of a sliding scale anyway. I've been thinking about this a lot lately...

Like - what isn't selfish? Technically anything a person does which benefits them and them alone is selfish. Which, as you say, means that most of us are selfish much of the time. I suppose the only way to be truly selfless would be to dedicate one's life 100% to serving others, in a Mother Teresa or path of the Bodhisattva kind of way.

Interestingly, these saintly cases of "ultimate selflessness" are nearly universally expected to be celibate. Which makes sense when you think about it - because having a family takes far too much out of a person to dedicate themselves more widely to serving the world.

Anyway, I think I'll stop here before I utterly derail the thread. :lol:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Reasons why dogs are better than children:

1. Cheaper to feed

2. Easier to train

3. No backchat

4. No toddler / teenage tantrums

5. Always glad to see you

6. You can go on holiday without them

7. You can pick the one you want

8. Can provide home security / personal protection

9. Will never shove you in a nursing home

10. Will never kill you for their inheritance!

:D

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been thinking about it, although my current relationship isn't even year old and we have some issues... some because of my girlfriends mental issues and some because of my realization of my asexuality and I'm probably a grey-romantic too... Not a good combination.

I like children, it might be great to be a parent (I've been told that I would make a great father - don't know about that), but although I'm not really that young anymore, I'm still trying to educate myself by going through couple of schools so I could get my dream-job, and I haven't even had the chance (nor the money) to travel. There's so much to see and to be done that I probably don't have time to have kids.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to adopt. I don't like the idea of any child being without a home.... I'm the type of person who would start an orphanage if given the right opportunities. My worry is that I won't be able to find any agency who will let a single person adopt - at least that what I have read, and I think it is crazy. I'm open to any ethnicity, so that may help.

I wouldn't object to having a biological child someday, but it would have to be the right circumstances.

Link to post
Share on other sites

people my age now are having kids, getting married and such and my first thought when i hear about this is "but they are only my age. surely they are too young for that stuff"

i'm 28.

tell me about it, I am married but did so because I needed to move to States to be with my companion. 28 to some is bit old not to think about kids.........scary stuff.

Link to post
Share on other sites
5_♦♣

As far as age and kids: Women who wait until age 35 or later to start having kids are more prone to health complications arising during pregnancy, so 28 is far from too young to have kids if one wants them. And men who wait until 40 or later to have kids are more likely to have offspring with autism or downs than men who had kids earlier.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

I don't want kids. It's not that I don't like them, but I just wouldn't trust myself as a parent. It would cause me way too much anxiety. I also have a lot of life goals for my future with education and a career that would be impossible with children.

Also I want to help the overpopulation problem :P

Link to post
Share on other sites

If i ever reach a period in time when i feel that i am mature enough to raise a child, i suppose i would be interested in adopting,

Link to post
Share on other sites

i don't mind havin lil kiddoes around, whether intercourse, insemination, or adoption;that's not important to me. What is important, is that the parent can choose to have children-but a child cannot choose their parents. it wouldn't be fair to bring them into this world if i couldn't put them in the best possible environment to grow up in. i'll wait to have my own roof over my head, my own transportation, a good education system ready, financially stable, and someone to help me spread the love and watch them grow by my side.

we'll age, drink beer on the porch, and talk about how good these youngin's got it. we'll have dogs and cats named Pikachu and Tito. Pikachu will learn tail-whip, roar, and tackle. (we can add a tazer for thundershock >:D) our cat will be ninja. AND WE SHALL OWN CHICKENS!!! NAMED BOM BOM AND QUEE'SHA O_____o........what was i talkin about?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Man. I have to admit, I've got a soft-spot for children. I don't really ever want to put someone through pregnancy (and really don't want to have to have intercourse of any kind), but I certainly would like to adopt--in a decade or so (after graduate school and such). Heck, I once thought that I would like to run an orphanage when I retire. We'll see what the future brings, I guess.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...