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Do You Want Children?


significantlysilent

  

  1. 1. Do You Want Children?

    • Yes, my own (through sex)
      91
    • Yes, adoption
      148
    • Yes, by being a step-parent
      30
    • Maybe
      70
    • Maybe, circumstantial
      65
    • Indifferent
      18
    • No, not at all
      242
    • I already have my own children (through sex)
      14
    • I already have adopted children
      0
    • I already am a step-parent
      1
    • I am physically incapable of having my own children (through sex)
      10
    • I don't Know
      24
    • Yes, by artificial insemination
      45
    • I already have my own children (through artificial insemination)
      0
    • Yes, by in vitro fertilization
      29
    • Yes, by being a foster-parent
      49
    • I already am a foster-parent
      1
    • Yes, by surrogate
      3
    • I'm Not Sure Yet
      13
  2. 2. What Is Your Age?

    • <15
      18
    • 15?20
      220
    • 21?25
      189
    • 26?30
      66
    • 31?35
      31
    • 36?40
      17
    • >40
      17
  3. 3. What Is Your Gender?

    • Male
      122
    • Female
      351
    • Agender
      40
    • Androgynous
      22
    • Androsexual
      2
    • Bi(Tri/Quad/Etc)gender
      7
    • Cisgender
      34
    • FtM
      4
    • Genderfluid
      16
    • Genderqueer
      25
    • Gynosexual
      0
    • Intersex
      2
    • MtF
      2
    • Neutrois
      20
    • Transgender
      7
    • Transexual
      3
    • Transyada
      7
    • Not Sure
      22
    • Pangender
      2
    • I'm Not Sure Yet
      3
  4. 4. What Is Your Romantic Orientation?

    • Aromantic
      109
    • Gray-romantic
      42
    • Heteromantic
      205
    • Homoromantic
      29
    • Biromantic
      68
    • Panromantic
      71
    • Polyromantic
      5
    • Omniromantic
      2
    • Not Sure
      86
    • Demiromantic
      37
    • Hyporomantic
      0
    • Semiromantic
      3
    • I'm Not Sure Yet
      7
  5. 5. What Is Your Sexual Orientation?

    • Asexual
      426
    • Gray-A
      69
    • Demisexual
      46
    • Heterosexual
      24
    • Homosexual
      7
    • Bisexual
      8
    • Pansexual
      5
    • Polysexual
      0
    • Omnisexual
      0
    • Not Sure
      29
    • Hyposexual
      4
    • Semisexual
      1
    • Undefinitive
      2
    • I'm Not Sure Yet
      7

This poll is closed to new votes


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In veeeery particular circumstances;

1. I must trust my partner more than myself

2. He must want it too

3. We must have the right economical situation to afford all his/her needs

4. I must feel sure that I'll be able to be a good mom (and that I won't quarrel with his/her father) XP

5. we must be living in a good place, with a good environment/ppl/culture

Then yes, if else, nope.

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5_♦♣

Despite only being 18, I don't think I'll ever want children. It's so much work to look after them and that's assuming I even get the chance to have them.

If I do ever change my mind, I'd rather adopt.

I was 15 & a half when I decided I didn't want children. I'm now 26, turning 27 in a few months and I still don't want them. So yeah, no matter what anyone else tells you, age doesn't matter in relation to not wanting kids.

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Lia Beth, I am in North Texas not far from Dallas.

I do not want children. I have my niece and its great hanging out with her, because then I can hand her right back to my brother and sister in law.

Thanks you guys for the information on the Essure Procedure. I did not even know this was out there/existed. I do not know how many times I have been told by doctors "I will change my mind" (Which is a load of crap) I am going to mention this now. Thanks. *Here's to hope*

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gilnokoibito

Oddly enough...half my life I found children (especially small children) to be irritating and overly intimidating (they make me feel stupid for some reason.) But, over the last few years I've realized that, one day, I'd like to have my own kid. And though before I thought of adoption...I finally decided on doing it through artificial insemination.

The only problems I have with the idea...is...one, I've never so much as held a baby and I'm not sure if I'd be good at raising a kid, especially mostly by myself (but I figure every perspective mother likely feels similar.)

And two, I'm aromantic...and not just, 'don't like relationships aromantic' either...I am the quintessential no hugs, no kisses, no cuddling, etc kind of aromantic (and not just in romantic settings, but with friends, family, etc too). So I wonder how good I'd be at outwardly showing affection to my future kid...when they're really young they probably would need physical affection - hugging, cheek kisses, cuddling when it's dark and stormy out sort of stuff. Since it would be my kid and be a part of me that I loved, would I be okay with hugging them without forcing myself to? I mean, I think I could...but I'm not really sure how it'd make me feel really. I absolutely hate such things...would I do it just for their sake? But I don't like putting it that way...because I want to be able to hug them and comfort them without feeling I have to push myself to do so. And I can't see the future so I have no idea how I'd feel about that. If it would bother me, bother them, or if I'd wind up acting like any other normal mom and embarrasingly hugging them in front of their friends? The whole idea of it makes me feel so very unsure.

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significantlysilent

...

I found your post quite interesting, and it would be facinating to see how you react to your child in your future. If it makes you feel any better, I have a short story that might help. I have a four-year-old brother right now. Now, he's not my own child, but he is my brother. On a general basis, I hate and avoid any phsyical contact like the plague (with anyone ranging from complete strangers to my own mother). The first year my brother was born, I was dealing with a lot of stuff mentally and couldn't stand to be "close" to him both emotionally or physically. As he's grown, I've grown into being better with handling phsycial contact or an emotional connection with him. I'm still a bit awkward at times, but these times have become less and less as time has passed. I can hug him whenever he needs a hug or let him sit in my lap and cuddle him when he wants a book read to him. I used to just "do it because he's young and innocent, and doesn't understand why" sort of thing. It comes more naturally now to just sit there with him or have him run up to me to "tackle-play". Sometimes I can even hug him without him asking, or ask for a hug from him just because he is so cute. Okay, so mini rant/story over. In summary, I still hate (and am sort of phobic about) physical contact with anyone. But with my brother, it's different. Maybe it's because he is a child that it's different?

Now depending on who you are, this mightn't happen. I think though, that if you did have your own child, you would learn to be more comfortable with physical contact with them as time went on. And as you said, they would be a part of you in a way. A love emotionally will more than likely be there, and phsycial love will probably come with time as your child would need it. Just my view on things and I'm not a parent, but thought "just maybe" for reassurance wise on your part.

I would actually suggest making your own post about this somewhere on here? Maybe it could get more results from those who are parents themselves and how they feel about it?

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If I ever decided I wanted kids which I don't think I will but if I do I'd adopt an older child.

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I. Hate. Children. Seriously. You could not pay me to be a mother. I was ecstatic when I found out that I'm sterile. I have TONS of respect for those people who are wired to be parents but it's something I could never do.

OMG ME TOO! But I'm not sterile :( And doctors won't make me sterile because I "might change my mind". Yeah fucking right! I've hated kids since I /was/ a kid. It's not changing.

Can't they just freeze your eggs?

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significantlysilent

I. Hate. Children. Seriously. You could not pay me to be a mother. I was ecstatic when I found out that I'm sterile. I have TONS of respect for those people who are wired to be parents but it's something I could never do.

OMG ME TOO! But I'm not sterile :( And doctors won't make me sterile because I "might change my mind". Yeah fucking right! I've hated kids since I /was/ a kid. It's not changing.

Can't they just freeze your eggs?

yeah, it think they could actually. :) stupid paranoid people (the doctors, lol)... :huh:

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I'm pretty sure I want my own biological kids. I'm not 100% sure, but it is something I think about in a positive light. It's not that I love children. I don't hate children, but I'm not a huge fan of them either. My thing is that I really like the idea of generativity. When I think of teaching and shaping someone who is quite literally a part of me, it really excites me. I feel like I would be helping the world be a slightly better place by adding a couple of good, intelligent, moral people to society. That would be something I could really be proud of.

I just have a few hangups with the idea of having kids. First of all, having kids would imply that I get married, which I am not sure if I really want to do (that's a completely different story for a different time though). Yes, I know that I wouldn't HAVE to get married to have kids. I could just adopt a child as a single dad, but that makes it lose some of its appeal. I think adoption is great, and I would be willing to adopt if I had my own biological child along with the adopted child, but like I said, part of the appeal is the fact that my child would literally share half of my genetic code and be a part of me and an extension of myself. Also, I really don't think I could be a single dad. That's too much commitment for me. I would want to be able to have my own schedule and life outside of my children, so when I need a break, I could hand the responsibility over to the mother (i.e., my wife, if I get married). Also, I personally believe that every child should have both a mother and a father who are married and love each other. I think that's the best gift you can give a child. It's something that I didn't have, but I wish I did. The final hangup I have with it is, like I said, I really don't care for children that much, especially babies. I don't hate kids...I can get along with some of them...but I'm not like some parents who think they're all just fun(ny), adorable little angels. I definitely prefer adults over children by far. I don't mind teenagers though. I think teenagers are actually pretty cool. So if I could just have a kid, fast forward through the childhood years, and go straight to age 13 or 14, that would be great! :-P

So in short, yes, I do want my own biological kids someday, although that doesn't mean I actually ever will. I just don't want all the complications that come with it. Basically, my desires and my values contradict each other.

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  • 3 weeks later...
5_♦♣

Ah yes. The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. I came across that site long before I even knew of Asexuality as an orientation. I used to believe in it, now I... Well, sorta do but sorta don't at the same time, if that makes any sense.

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Blueraindrop

Hello,

I don't want to have children. Nor adopt. If my sister has any I might send them a gift or something though.

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I plan to have a child, biological, and then adopt another. If the finances are good, I might even adopt a third child (assuming I can get my husband to agree to that part).

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Star Burton

Adoption. I am NOT build for bearing or birthing a child. Nor do I really want to be involved in its early years. IF I want kids, it'll be adoption.

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Yes, I would like them via AI, IVF, or Adoption. I would prefer AI, seems like the easiest (and cheapest) option. Though later in life I would like to adopt as well as have biological children.

I'm 19, almost 20.

Female

Heteroromantic

Asexual

I seem to be real big on passing on a legacy. If it seems like I'm never going to have children then I plan on donating my ovaries to someone who actually wants to have children and is able to do so - so basically someone who'll utilize them rather than I just keeping them and letting them shrivel up and go to waste.

Eh, it's just a thing with me.

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I checked "no, not at all". Never felt the wish for kids for diverse reasons, only of of which is my asexuality.

Other answer pattern for me: 38, asexual, genderqueer; as for romantic orientation I checked "not sure" because while I'm near exclusively attracted to women, neither "hetero-" nor "homoromantic" describe me in a way I'd feel comfortably with due to my gender not lending itself to said binary. I'd have checked "gynoromantic", but that wasn't an option in the poll. :)

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Boo42069yomomma

Don't want kids, but that has nothing to do with my sexuality, I'm just not a kid person.

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  • 2 months later...

I'm a homoromantic asexual and I definitely do want kids but I have a medical condition which means that I cannot carry my own so the only way I could have them is through adoption or if my partner had them and then I adopted them.

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I have two kids, who I see about once a month at the mo. Frankly, having watched both of them being born, I'm not surprised none of the female posters want them!

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5_♦♣

I just noticed something. Andro-sexual and Gyno-sexual are sexual orientations, not gender identities. That is, an andro sexual is sexually attracted to men, regardless of their gender identity (male, female, genderless, bi gender, what have you).

Ditto for a Gyno sexual being sexually attracted to women, regardless of their gender identity.

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Yes no maybe I don´t know?? :unsure: Having children seems like such a big thing for my head to wrap around right now, if that makes sense. I wouldn´t mind nieces and nephews but I don´t think my siblings want children so, thats that...

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I voted that I want kids by adoption or fostering, and that I don't have kids. But that's not quite right. I have four younger brothers and I am currently spending 70+ hours per week taking care of them (well, the younger three). So I feel like I am a parent now. But I'm not a step parent, I didn't adopt them, and I didn't have sex to get 'em.

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I don't dislike kids when they are being little angels :rolleyes:.

If there was a term like a-maternal, that would fit me perfectly, I simply have no interest in kids.

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If you see the Cats thread in JFF you'll discover that's a valid option!

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I decided I didn't want children the minute I discovered what one had to go through to get them.

I hate them anyway, they're just nuisances. Prefer animals.

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I hate them anyway, they're just nuisances. Prefer animals.

Now in all fairness I don't think I've ever seen a child come into my lounge with a live frog between its teeth, drop it, proceed to try and eat it off the carpet, and then deposit some of the remains, along with a load of claw marks, on my trousers. :lol:

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Female, 26, heteroromantic, want kids MAYBE by adoption, if circumstances are right. I would have to be with a partner I TRUST to help me raise a child, agree with their parenting techniques and see them with kids before hand to make sure I am OK with how they interact with children. Personally, I love kids, I baby sit my cousins etc. But, I have very strict ideas about raising a child. Currently, the person I am with I would not trust to raise a child with. So kids are out of the question as long as I am with him. Would also have to be very financially secure, which atm I am not. I would never want to actually have my own though, there are too many homeless kids already. Just like with pets, I prefer to adopt. :)

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