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What does asexuality mean?


Hexagon

  

  1. 1. What is asexuality in your opinion?

    • A lack of sexual attraction/Sexual attraction to nobody
      24
    • A lack of desire for sex
      3
    • Both
      20
    • Not sure
      0
    • Other
      2


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Okay, so there has been something I've noticed for a while, which is that a lot of people seem to think that because they don't want sex, they're asexual. Now, a recent poll asking to change the definition of asexuality has come up, and reminded me of that. The poll wants to define asexuality as relating to an inclination for sex with other people, and not to define it as whether they are attracted to the people they may or may not sleep with.

For me, the definition is simple: I don't feel attracted to people. I also don't want to have sex, but isn't that just the same as a straight guy not wanting to have sex with men? Or a gay woman not wanting sex with men? While the people who don't like sex with people they aren't attracted to are probably in the majority, I don't think they are the only ones out there. Sex can probably still be enjoyable with people that you're not attracted to, at least for some people, and thus, I don't think a desire for sex should be the defining factor.

A lack of desire for sex with people is different however. It could be because of asexuality, but it could be mistaken for religious reasons. It could be because of repressed homosexuality. It could be because of a medical condition causing low hormone levels. It could be because someone doesn't want to deal with the relationships associated with sex. It could be because someone dislikes the idea of being penetrated.

Its fair to say that I'm a bit confused now as to what the actual definition of asexuality is to the majority of asexuals.

In the poll above, the options are not proposals for formal definitions - please don't select 'other' for the purposes of rewording. Only select it if you'd like to propose another definition that is actually different to the ones above.

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Beachwalker

Hi Hexagon, I would suggest your first option in the poll should be divided into 2 options a lack of sexual attraction which is Avens current definition and then sexual attraction to nobody.

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There are several active threads on the definition of asexuality.

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I think this is a unique poll. I voted "both." You didn't want re-wordings, so I took "desire" to mean "innate interest," and the reason that asexuals lack innate interest in sex is because we don't experience sexual attraction to anyone. But lack of desire in the sense of being interested but lacking the motivation is not asexuality, in my opinion, though anyone for whom that's the case is, of course, free to consider themself asexual.

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It seems as though there are pertinent videos in the rewording thread about this topic. I hope everyone has the time and inclination to watch them. David Jay's focus is not on lacking sexual attraction, in fact, he says asexuals have attraction. His focus is entirely on not desiring sex.

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Nameless123

It seems as though there are pertinent videos in the rewording thread about this topic. I hope everyone has the time and inclination to watch them. David Jay's focus is not on lacking sexual attraction, in fact, he says asexuals have attraction. His focus is entirely on not desiring sex.

With all due respect to David Jay as the founder of AVEN and the public face of asexuality - he's but one asexual among many and his word is not the be all and end all of asexuality.

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It seems as though there are pertinent videos in the rewording thread about this topic. I hope everyone has the time and inclination to watch them. David Jay's focus is not on lacking sexual attraction, in fact, he says asexuals have attraction. His focus is entirely on not desiring sex.

David said asexuals have attraction, not sexual attraction.

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In a discussion all about sexuality.

Anyway...you guys can duke it out from now on. What he said made sense, and his focus was entirely on not desiring sex.

:)

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Vampyremage

In a discussion all about sexuality.

Anyway...you guys can duke it out from now on. What he said made sense, and his focus was entirely on not desiring sex.

:)

He says much the same even now as I've recently had the opportunity to watch (A)sexual.

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In a discussion all about sexuality.

Anyway...you guys can duke it out from now on. What he said made sense, and his focus was entirely on not desiring sex.

:)

He says much the same even now as I've recently had the opportunity to watch (A)sexual.

This is good to know, as I would think it truly makes the most sense. And is easiest for people to understand! Thanks Vamp!

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Qutenkuddly

As we now have three active discussions on pretty much the same topic, as well as three accompanying polls, it has now become necessary to organize this conversation for cohesiveness, so that it is easier to follow. To this end, after Tuesday, June 12, 5:00 EST, I will close the threads 'Rewording the definition of Asexuality to Increase Clarity' and 'What does asexuality mean?'. I will be leaving links in those two conversations to 'What is sexual attraction in its relation to defining asexuality?', which is the originating thread. This will give everyone 48 hours to wrap up the conversations in the threads to be closed. During that 48 hours, I will also likely be doing some further thread actions to re-integrate parts of the conversation back into the originating thread. Any further threads and polls created on this topic are subject to immediate closure whilst the first remains active.

If you have any questions, concerns or suggestions regarding these actions, please PM me. (Note: any requests to move posts will only be considered if accompanied by a direct link to the post, found by clicking on the post number in the upper right corner of the post box.)

Qutenkuddly,

Asexual Musings and Rantings Moderator

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Qutenkuddly

As was announced two days earlier, I have now moved a number of posts from this thread and merged them with the originating conversation 'What is sexual attraction in its relation to defining asexuality?'. I apologize in advance for any confusion some of these changes may cause. If you have any questions or concerns about these changes, please feel free to PM me. This thread is now closed.

Qutenkuddly,

Asexual Musings and Rantings Moderator

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