Pan/Bi/Homoromanticism and Christianity?

[jmickey317]

Hey so I'm new around here and just getting used to all of these labels and ideas and what it all means but i'm thinking i might be asexual or demisexual. It feels bettter than any other label i've been grapling with. Something I have been wondering about though, is the idea of being in a romantic relationship with someone. As a potential asexual/demisexual I really haven't been able to base my attractions on sexual feelings so I think what I've been doing is basing them on other things. Like aesthetics or personality and stuff. And in this I've found that I tend to find both men and women, if not equally, close enough to equally as attractive in these ways. I'm not yet comfortable with labeling myself but I'm thinking I might be pan/biromantic. I am also Christian. Now, most of my friends are gay and I believe in gay rights and everything but if I do enter into a relationship with another woman, obviously not having sex, do you think it's still considered sin? Or that my family (that is religious) will be able to see the distinction? Or does it not matter? Am I queer by default just because I'm asexual?

And I've noticed around here that as a sort of byproduct of asexuality, seeing attraction in a different way than sexually, many asexuals if not aromantic as well tend to consider themselves bi/panromantic. Do you think this makes asexuality inherently queer?

[(A) & A]

Hey so I'm new around here and just getting used to all of these labels and ideas and what it all means but i'm thinking i might be asexual or demisexual. It feels bettter than any other label i've been grapling with. Something I have been wondering about though, is the idea of being in a romantic relationship with someone. As a potential asexual/demisexual I really haven't been able to base my attractions on sexual feelings so I think what I've been doing is basing them on other things. Like aesthetics or personality and stuff. And in this I've found that I tend to find both men and women, if not equally, close enough to equally as attractive in these ways. I'm not yet comfortable with labeling myself but I'm thinking I might be pan/biromantic. I am also Christian. Now, most of my friends are gay and I believe in gay rights and everything but if I do enter into a relationship with another woman, obviously not having sex, do you think it's still considered sin? Or that my family (that is religious) will be able to see the distinction? Or does it not matter? Am I queer by default just because I'm asexual?

And I've noticed around here that as a sort of byproduct of asexuality, seeing attraction in a different way than sexually, many asexuals if not aromantic as well tend to consider themselves bi/panromantic. Do you think this makes asexuality inherently queer?

I depends on the Christian sect.

According to Catholicism being gay is not a sin. It is gay sex that is a sin since the sole purpose of sex is to have children in marriage. If you had a non-sexual gay relationship, while some people might rise a brow you'd technically not be sinning.

In other Christian sects (mainly the more Fundamentalist sect) they seem to imply that the very nature of homosexuality is sinful.

Ultimately, however, the concerns of your Church and even your family don't matter. If you feel you have a good relationship with your God that's all that matters.

[Finding myself]

I agree with (A) & A above.

I think a lot of Christians view homosexuality as sinful. I am a Christian and do not have problems with homosexuality at all.

I think I am probably biromantic asexual. I can not see how Christians can have a problem with it, but I am sure that some would have issues with that identity.

Take care. Stay true to who you are and your faith in God.

[significantlysilent]

I agree with the other two posters above me for the most part. It honestly just depends on the beliefs of your family and church, but for the main part you. I don't know if asexuality would default you into a queer catagory or not.... I just never really thought about it. I identify as a panromantic asexual, but my family doesn't know about the pan part in that title. I mentioned that I was asexual to my mother, and she went on some rant of "how it was against God's will" or "not how God intended for it to be". My parents raised my siblings and I as Christians with some Baptist roots. I currently believe that I am Diest, and my family also does not know this. My dad doesn't mind homosexual people, but still believe they are sinning. I really don't think that God would have intended for people to live inhumanly, and disagree with some of the Bible's statements. I don't see anything wrong with homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, or any other sexuality there is. Now my mother is also having a lot of problems dealing with my growing up (I turned 18 a few months ago), so she is also angry/argumentative about me getting my hair cut shorter and not walking for graduation (that was today, ironically). So I don't think that this is all the norm for Chrisitians. I did know this one woman though, who's daughter presumably had a "thing" with another girl (who's mother thought she had "gay tendancies"). She also believed homosexuality was wrong, and that did not end well, but the woman had serious control issues where the daughter couldn't even buy a shirt without her mother's approval. The woman even tried to control me and make me eat something when I didn't want to (I have an ed, and she knew about it, so it was the "I'm going to cure you" type of thing).

So my slight rant of annoyances probably didn't help you all that much, and I apologize. All in all, whatever you are comfortable with and whatever you feel God is okay with, is what shall determine what is a sin in my opinion.

[Robotic Emu]

I am not religious myself, but from what I have read, the sin is in the sexual acts themselves. I have read about gay reformation camps that seem to have the goal of making gays asexual and happy in a straight relationship. When I did not know about asexuality and was going through a very homoromantic phase, I came out as a lesbian to my parents, who were only bothered by the morality of me having sex with a woman. I do not think that asexuality is inherently queer, but bi/pan-romantic asexuality is queer since it involves attraction to the same sex.

[Ace McHeeb]

The only thing I can find (and I have defied Christian leaders to show me otherwise) is a ban, GIVEN SOLELY TO THE JEWS, on two men having sex with each other. I can find no Biblical support for preventing two men or two women from getting married. If you love someone, you love them. Plain and simple. Just remember what George Jones said, "The only thing different in sinners and saints is one is forgiven and the other one ain't."