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Oxeyed

Demisexual and Sapiosexual

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Oxeyed

It occurred to me that being demisexual and being sapiosexual might be related. They seem to complement each other as someone has to get to know another person in order to figure out if that person is intelligent. So do others think they overlap?

Note: Sapiosexual is someone who finds intelligence to be the most attractive feature.

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♣Ryan♣

It makes sense to me. I'm not a demi-sexual, but I'm a demi-romantic. I could see it linking with sapio-romantic (I think I just made this word up). I've always been turned off by people that I considered to have low intelligence. Mainly I just find them boring and uninteresting. I've only been attracted to girls that I would consider to be smart. I would say That I see myself falling under both of these categories, in the romantic side of attraction. So there might be a link to the two, for some people.

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Oona

While I do think intelligence can be attractive, its not just the ability to calculate math problems or master chemistry... so much as I find emotional intelligence attractive. People who have a wealth of knowledge about human character, emotions, and is able to read others through observation. They are not quick to judge others on superficial findings, make weak conclusions, or act out irrationally... its almost like a calm and cool understanding of people that when assessed is usually dead on. If ANY of that makes sense.

For example a former friend of mine was able to do this. He was fascionating to speak with and very cerebral... but he wasnt out of touch. Whereas some people are so cerebral that they have no social skills or they are very awkward emotionally.

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Kitty Spoon Train

Yep. This is pretty much me. But personally, I think intelligence is just a point of attraction, so I don't think "Sapiosexuality" is really a full orientation in itself.

But yes, having a strong intellectual click with someone is probably the biggest draw that exists for me. It actually makes sense that they're related. Since demisexuality is all about getting to know a person before developing sexual attraction, and recognising mutual intellectual compatibility is a common aspect of "getting to know a person".

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JimmyKeepCool

It is possible that they could overlap, though not everyone who is demisexual necessarily finds intelligence to be most attractive (also, intelligence is a pretty vague term).

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Pawn

Watch out with that... Sure, they both are related to personality mostly, but demisexuality does not base itself on that only, unlike sapiosexuality... Of course, that includes sapioromantism/demiromantism. :P

For example, demisexual attraction can be triggered by past experiences with a certain someone, not having anything to do with it... or anything else that can make a relationship live on.

But yeah... That's just me talking, I guess. Or pointing stuff out... As Guzica said, though, sapiosexuality isn't really a main orientation, since it doesn't involve gender explicitly.

http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual

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Strivna

Moved to The Gray Area.

Strivna

Asexual Q&A Moderator

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♣Ryan♣

It makes sense to me. I'm not a demi-sexual, but I'm a demi-romantic. I could see it linking with sapio-romantic (I think I just made this word up).

Actually, you didn't. Nor did the author of this piece.

Awesome I couldn't find anything on it. I'm glad you showed me it. Thanks :)

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Elis

**discovered that she's a Sapioromantic**

Intelligent people omnomnom

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Bluszcz

There was/is already a related thread, so it might give some more insight to the subject :)

Sapiosexual

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Aspiecat

**discovered that she's a Sapioromantic**

Intelligent people omnomnom

Oh Elis... hahaha I actually LOLed!

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Aspiecat

I find intelligence attractive, myself. VERY attractive, I might add. In fact, DRIBBLE-worthy hehe. But only in the same way most other women drool over butts and strong chins. So in effect, my immediate attraction to intellectuality is rather shallow! I mean, what if the guy's a douchebag?

Yet I can't help myself. Intelligence is very important to me. One of the first things that attracted me to my special AVEN person :wub: was his intelligence.

Call me a tart if you will. :lol:

Aspie

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Sadfairy

I think I have a simulate attraction to musical abilities. Some other performance art sort of things also.

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Cazz333

Intelligence And a good voice. Pretty hard to resist both in the same person...

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k3721

I really like intelligence... but personality is also important. Some people are smart, and they know it, and like to put down anyone who isn't on their level. That can be off-putting. My boyfriend has a genius-level IQ but doesn't boast about it. I've always had low self-esteem so when he tells me I am smart, it makes me happy.

Although some people are attracted to certain aspects, I think the sum of the parts is the most important. My BF actually has all that I want -- geeky interests, rational and logical, intelligent, not judgmental... plus he likes cats and he's a pretty boy. Yay!

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ElusiveAppellation

While I do think intelligence can be attractive, its not just the ability to calculate math problems or master chemistry... so much as I find emotional intelligence attractive. People who have a wealth of knowledge about human character, emotions, and is able to read others through observation. They are not quick to judge others on superficial findings, make weak conclusions, or act out irrationally... its almost like a calm and cool understanding of people that when assessed is usually dead on. If ANY of that makes sense.

For example a former friend of mine was able to do this. He was fascionating to speak with and very cerebral... but he wasnt out of touch. Whereas some people are so cerebral that they have no social skills or they are very awkward emotionally.

+1

I'm attracted to intelligent women, but being emotionally in tune needs to be part of it for it to be workable. I dated one girl who simply never got the message that certain jokes she'd tend to make really hurt my feelings, no matter how I tried to explain this to her. So, to me, as much as intelligence is a desirable quality in a potential mate, being emotionally 'out of touch' is a huuuuge red flag.

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Obfuscator

It occurred to me that being demisexual and being sapiosexual might be related. They seem to complement each other as someone has to get to know another person in order to figure out if that person is intelligent. So do others think they overlap?

Note: Sapiosexual is someone who finds intelligence to be the most attractive feature.

I am a sapiosexual, and I can be physically attracted to a woman who is not intelligent. But once I know that she is not intelligent I will have no interest what-so-ever in pursuing her no matter how strong the sexual attraction. While demi-sexuality may be related sapiosexuality; I do not believe the reverse is necessarily true.

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zeulared

They certainly overlap. I don't think they have to be mutually inclusive or anything. They seem to sprout off each other but they do not have to be the same tree. Basically.

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WoodwindWhistler
While I do think intelligence can be attractive, its not just the ability to calculate math problems or master chemistry... so much as I find emotional intelligence attractive. People who have a wealth of knowledge about human character, emotions, and is able to read others through observation. They are not quick to judge others on superficial findings, make weak conclusions, or act out irrationally... its almost like a calm and cool understanding of people that when assessed is usually dead on.

Where is the "LIke" button when I need it?

(Although I must say that Math and Chemistry are, if for me personally not sexy, highly squishable)

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Oxalis

Oh yes, the smart men are so sexy!! :blush: Still on the prowl for my own little Giles-like librarian nerd... XD

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TrilliumHunter

Yeah, I definitely place intelligence and creativity at the top of my "I like you" pyramid. And, of course, I include things like caring for the environment and other people as part of intelligence :) .

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JayBird

You know, the overlap between the two would not surprise me at all. Especially seeing that Demisexual is, by the definition I've found, is being aroused in very limited/certain situations and/or only with someone you have a bond with. Sapoisexuality and Demisexuality could easily go hand-in-hand.

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Veritas_

I definitely believe that sapiosexuality is a classification in and of itself.

When you place such a high priority on intelligence, even more so then aesthetics.

That being said, I hadnt heard of demisexual before this thread. (Cant say I've researched much about the finer points of various sexual classifications)

While I cant say that one is necessarily indicative of the other. It would certainly be possible to exhibit both.

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Yhamilitz

Sapiosexual, cool, sound something very interesting.

Intelligence is something that I always look in people xD

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eee

Intelligence is very important but the complete package need a dab of spiritual depth, a stroke of emotional intelligence, a jar of wisdom, sprinkles of artistic expression and a bundle of balanced energy. I've dated some scary intelligent people...........very scary.

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