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Sonja

Aromantic sexuals?

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Sonja

Hi all,

I'm new to the forum, so please bear with me if this isn't usual discussion material.

I have multiple friends who have told me that they have no interest in forming a romantic connection with anyone, but they do want sexual relationships ("I just want a f*ck buddy"). With one of the friends I theorized that he was aromantic, but he explicitly said that he still desires sex.

I was under the impression that aromantic people were also asexual. Is this not always the case? Are there aromantic sexual people out there, or are my friends just immature (we're all not even 20 yet) or temporarily disinterested in romance?

Thanks!

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The Great WTF

It's not the case at all. Aromanticism can occur in any sexuality just as there are plenty of asexuals who still have romantic desires.

Yes, some are likely just immature or not ready to settle down, but there are many aromantic sexuals out there.

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Kisa needs a coffee

Anybody can be aromantic, whether asexual, sexual or grey. So it is possible for your friend to be aromantic. However, that is up to your friend to decide.

Hope that helps :)

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Sonja

Anybody can be aromantic, whether asexual, sexual or grey. So it is possible for your friend to be aromantic. However, that is up to your friend to decide.

Hope that helps :)

It does, thank you! :D

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Ragman

There are a few people who I suspect of being aromantic but I know they are sexual. They go from one person to the next but never really make a fist of relationships. I used to detest these people but now it makes sense to me. They have no want or need for a romantic relationship but still have sexual desires.

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MadRat

There are a few people who I suspect of being aromantic but I know they are sexual. They go from one person to the next but never really make a fist of relationships. I used to detest these people but now it makes sense to me. They have no want or need for a romantic relationship but still have sexual desires.

This.

Since I´ve found out aromanticism exists I can understand people who only fu*k around but never have a relationship. It seems to me aromantics are not so rare but society dictates to people they should settle down, get married and have children at certain point of their lives... But what if they don´t want to do so? What if it is not natural for them? They can end up in unhappy marriage with unhappy partner and children just because society says they should do those "normal" things... :wacko:

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noysoffer

There's a very loose bridge between romance and sex. I guess that in the same manner that there's a sexuality scale, from absolutely asexual to absolutely sexual, there's a romance-sex scale, measuring how much romance effects sex to us, ranging from "I'll only have sex with someone I'm in love with" to "I don't need to like the person I'm having sex with." So, it isn't really fair to say that there's a direct connection between the two.

I'm personally a demisexual aromantic, and I do have sex with my best friends, so I'm kind of a counterexample.

**By the way, sorry for the math talk. I just came out of a 6 hour calculus study session. lol

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samepage1

Since I´ve found out aromanticism exists I can understand people who only fu*k around but never have a relationship. It seems to me aromantics are not so rare but society dictates to people they should settle down, get married and have children at certain point of their lives... But what if they don´t want to do so? What if it is not natural for them? They can end up in unhappy marriage with unhappy partner and children just because society says they should do those "normal" things... :wacko:

This is simple yet amazing insight. Sometimes I've seen disparaging remarks about aromantic sexuals not caring about their partners, using people for sex, etc., but it's really more of a reflection of society's standards that aromantics just don't fit. There really needs to be more aromantic awareness, or simply people need to realize that not everyone wants a romantic relationship, even some people who want a sexual relationship, and that's okay.

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maven

Since I´ve found out aromanticism exists I can understand people who only fu*k around but never have a relationship. It seems to me aromantics are not so rare but society dictates to people they should settle down, get married and have children at certain point of their lives... But what if they don´t want to do so? What if it is not natural for them? They can end up in unhappy marriage with unhappy partner and children just because society says they should do those "normal" things... :wacko:

This is simple yet amazing insight. Sometimes I've seen disparaging remarks about aromantic sexuals not caring about their partners, using people for sex, etc., but it's really more of a reflection of society's standards that aromantics just don't fit. There really needs to be more aromantic awareness, or simply people need to realize that not everyone wants a romantic relationship, even some people who want a sexual relationship, and that's okay.

:wub:

I don't have anything to add, you all explained everything perfectly, and the only reason I'm posting is because, well, I'm happy to see these thought-provoking comments. :cake:

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Kathlyn

I've been thinking about this topic, fairly frequently. 'cause I just have this feeling that if I were demi/gray-aro I would also identify as that for asexuality. mostly because I feel like *almost* interested in some people sexually, but I don't think I'm capable of being sexually attracted to another person unless there's romantic attraction.

of course my libido and curiosity doesn't help in figuring this out. 'cause my libido is very high, and kicks in my curiosity about sex, and then I've the internalized messages, etc.

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Guest member25959

Aromanticism isn't restricted to asexuality. Meaning that you will find aromantic sexuals, too.

It's best to leave it to the individual to decide on labels, though.

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skullery

It's not the case at all. Aromanticism can occur in any sexuality just as there are plenty of asexuals who still have romantic desires.

Yes, some are likely just immature or not ready to settle down, but there are many aromantic sexuals out there.

Aromanticism isn't restricted to asexuality. Meaning that you will find aromantic sexuals, too.

It's best to leave it to the individual to decide on labels, though.

Aromanticism would be hard to label for someone else because there are so many reasons why one isn't in a relationship. Being 18 and not wanting a relationship is exceptionally normal and not indicative of aromanticism... which isn't to say that none of your friends are aromantic, only that their enjoyment of fuck buddy sex isn't, on its own, proof. Just because some people get married in their early twenties, for example, doesn't mean that people who don't marry until their 40's are less inclined toward marriage... life just isn't that simple.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say that, according to societal norms, romantics (and in particular males) are encouraged to act aromantically until their mid-twenties, at which point everyone is then encouraged to act romantically. We're all, more or less, funneled down the same tube of expectations, which means at certain points in all our lives, societal expectations are going to push directly opposite your own inclinations.

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