nina6 Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 First, I apologize, I am sure these questions about sexual confusion pop up all the time :) I think I may be a "gray", but the older I get, the more confused I am about my sexuality. I am female,age 30, and consider myself straight, but I do fantasize about women and men, although I am only active with men. I am capable of enjoying sex, but the older I get, the less I want sex. I have noticed I will go for several months to about a year or sometimes longer, without having sex, then I will be active for a few weeks. Then I go back to no sex. What makes it more complicated is that I think about sex. I like sex, I find certain people arrousing. I just don't like the idea of actually having sex with other people. The only person I have been active with in the last 3 years is a long time friend, and if I didn't know him as well as i do, I might not have even been active with him. Just make it all more complex, I do masturbate, but that seems tied to my monthly cycle. I have an increase in desire when ovulating, so maybe its just hormonal/biological. (Sorry if that is tmi for people). I guess what doesn't make sense is Why do I enjoy self stimulaiton and fantasies/stories/videos but not want a partner? and why do I go for so long and then suddenly feel a need for intercourse? Is that odd? Does anyone else do that? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Notte stellata Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 You do sound like gray, especially that you can find certain people arousing, but don't want to actually have sex with them. Why do I enjoy self stimulaiton and fantasies/stories/videos but not want a partner? This is pretty common even among asexuals. This means you have a sex drive, but it has nothing to do with whether you're asexual, gray or sexual. why do I go for so long and then suddenly feel a need for intercourse? I have no answer for that. But human sexuality is complicated: everyone is different, and you happen to be like this. It may be "odd", but not abnormal. :) Link to post Share on other sites
nina6 Posted April 28, 2012 Author Share Posted April 28, 2012 You do sound like gray, especially that you can find certain people arousing, but don't want to actually have sex with them. Why do I enjoy self stimulaiton and fantasies/stories/videos but not want a partner? This is pretty common even among asexuals. This means you have a sex drive, but it has nothing to do with whether you're asexual, gray or sexual. why do I go for so long and then suddenly feel a need for intercourse? I have no answer for that. But human sexuality is complicated: everyone is different, and you happen to be like this. It may be "odd", but not abnormal. :) thank you! it is always nice to hear from someone who doens't think i am a complete weirdo :) Link to post Share on other sites
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