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Sapiosexual


consultingalias

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Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.

This.

As for that, I found this entry helpful I came across recently.

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Cithaerias

I think, had I known there was a term for it, I would have called myself sapioromantic before I knew I was asexual. Intelligence is a big part of what I look for in people, and honestly, I think I would have a hard time being in a long-term relationship with someone I couldn't have intellectual discussions with. :\

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am wondering about a sort of "e-gathering place" for sapioromantics? Even though I use this label myself, I just need some intellectual stimulation and we all know it's terribly difficult to find it on the internet. However, a website or chat room dedicated just to sapioromanticism/sapiosexuality would be delightful. I would feel so much at home, and so less alone in a world where we are already labeled 1% of the population and then to further divide that with a sub-label that probably makes you sound like a pretentious snob to the rest of society. Well I can't help it if I like knowledge and I love to learn, and I find it very comforting and safe to be around others who feel the same way. If you happen to feel similarly, thank you for being out there. :cake:

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My primary attraction to people is intelligence,followed by wit/sense of humour.I tried explaining this to my Brother some months ago,as we were out shopping and he commented on a pretty girl he had seen.I explained that I don't really look around in that way when I'm out,my task is to get in and out of all required shops in the shortest possible time and get the hell outta there.When he is with me dillydallying around,he will always comment on people.I have tried to explain that I don't notice and when I tried to explain this phenomana to him I described it like this:"If everyone could walk around talking loud enough so I could filter their conversations to determine their intelligence,then and only then,will I say,see her over there,she's pretty".

His reply:

"Let's go to StarBucks"

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  • 1 month later...

In essence, yes, I find intelligence appealing. I am asexual, and nearly assuredly aromantic, but I do enjoy the presence of people who are intelligent, whether logically or creatively; they make great conversation. Everyone else is, well, a person to me, and I find the average person's conversation quite boring sometimes, if only due to predictability, and lack of opinions and musings.

I feel the same. * tries to stop conspicuously weighing people by intelligence* I should hide my evaluating process. I find unlearning people irritating.

I am wondering about a sort of "e-gathering place" for sapioromantics? Even though I use this label myself, I just need some intellectual stimulation and we all know it's terribly difficult to find it on the internet. However, a website or chat room dedicated just to sapioromanticism/sapiosexuality would be delightful. I would feel so much at home, and so less alone in a world where we are already labeled 1% of the population and then to further divide that with a sub-label that probably makes you sound like a pretentious snob to the rest of society. Well I can't help it if I like knowledge and I love to learn, and I find it very comforting and safe to be around others who feel the same way. If you happen to feel similarly, thank you for being out there. :cake:

That would be good if such a forum existed.

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  • 1 month later...

In essence, yes, I find intelligence appealing. I am asexual, and nearly assuredly aromantic, but I do enjoy the presence of people who are intelligent, whether logically or creatively; they make great conversation. Everyone else is, well, a person to me, and I find the average person's conversation quite boring sometimes, if only due to predictability, and lack of opinions and musings.

I think the same things!

Maybe I am asexual sapioromantic. Yes, it sounds good. I like it. :lol:

I'm often attracted/fascinated by artists as musicians, actors.. and other people which show particular skill 8)

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  • 4 months later...
WoodwindWhistler
I don't believe in love as an emotional state (I see it as purely chemical)

So, what, you believe the mind doesn't exist, only the brain? That emotions aren't "real" in the materialistic sense of the term? When you feel the sun on your face, the warmth and uplifting isn't there, only your body's positive reaction?

I took a Neuroanatomy class, and not only did this position seem intellectually untenable, it seems pretty bleak as well.

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Touchofinsight
I agree that it's a preference, not an orientation. If it's an orientation, do we also need labels for those who are attracted by talent, humor, status, and numerous other factors? tongue.gif

But yeah, I'm very sapio-attracted. I like smart and opinionated people who can have deep conversations with me. Once I find I click very well with someone on an intellectual level, I'll suddenly feel much closer to them emotionally.

Me too, I have dated a few women who were.. far less intelligent then me or just were people who didn't enjoy talking beyond very mainstream simple conversations. Those relationships didn't last very long :) Intelligence is relative to a subject though imo.

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  • 3 months later...

I've been calling it Sapiosexuality. Referring to it as a classification rather then a specific orientation. Thou my knowledge on the .. variations and criteria for an orientation are certainly sub par.

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  • 3 months later...

I have to ask if you are not labeled smart by any measurements why is it I find intelligence so attractive

What? I don't understand the question. :\

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EruditeVolatility

I totally identify as sapioromantic and somewhat sapiosexual. I can get aroused from a very witty or brilliant person/book/character. or something that required incredibly skill and brainpower to do (especially anything involving space). But it isn't the FIRST thing I look for in a person. It is more like...a lustful desire? I don't know how to best explain it. Maybe fangirling is the best way XD

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I recently heard about Sapiosexuality. Which, for any who don't know and can't be bothered Googling, means that one finds intelligence and wit the most sexually arousing feature in a potential partner. Now, that kind of sounds familiar, minus the sexual part. So my question is this, is there such a thing as Sapioromantic? A Sapioromantic Asexual?

What I mean is this, I have no desire to sleep with anyone, in fact, I am a bit uncomfortable being touched, even just an affectionate shoulder pat. But I do find intelligence an extremely attractive quality. I only ever feel this attraction (kind of a desire to be around them) for extremely intelligent people. I suppose it's yet more labelling, but I like being able to define everything.

I previously considered myself to be Aromantic, because I don't believe in love as an emotional state (I see it as purely chemical) and the idea of having a partner who wanted to do all that smoochy stuff filled me with dread. But I find I'm not adverse to the idea of something along the lines of Sheldon and Amy's relationship in Big Bang Theory. That actually seems kind of nice.

Thank you for hearing my ramble and I appreciate your thoughts.

I have been thinking about Sheldon and Amy, I think Sheldon is asexual demiromantic
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Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.

I would like to disagree. Sapioromantic/sapiosexual means you are romantically or sexually attracted to someone only if they're intelligent. That's as much as a preference as being sexually attracted to people of a certain sex is.

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Calligraphette_Coe

I'd like to think things have changed, but I graduated in the top 10 in class of over 200, and my dance card never got punched even once. I just think there is an abundance of subliminal instinctual typecasting built into the gender domain-mapping radar of both sexes. And that usually renders intelligence as being a stealth technology in that arena.

Binaryville was not such a good place to have grown up in, and intelligence was the Underground Railroad out of there.

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Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.

I would like to disagree. Sapioromantic/sapiosexual means you are romantically or sexually attracted to someone only if they're intelligent. That's as much as a preference as being sexually attracted to people of a certain sex is.

In that case wouldn't they then just be Panromantic (/pansexual) with a preference for intellect?

I also have to wonder how one would measure intellect since people obviously would have different perceptions of what is "smart" in different instances.

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Sapioromantic/Sapiosexual are supposed to be orientations that indicate a person being attracted to another person's brain regardless of which body said brain is in. That's how I see it. So, in theory, biological sex shouldn't matter for sapio- people. I suppose it's something only sapio- people would know though.

As far as I'm concerned, the one pet peeve I have with the term is, sapio- is the root for "knowledge", not "intelligence". So it's actually inappropriate lexically :P

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Some people find intelligence attractive... some money, some a sense of humor, some a nice ass. Those are preferences, not orientations.

I would like to disagree. Sapioromantic/sapiosexual means you are romantically or sexually attracted to someone only if they're intelligent. That's as much as a preference as being sexually attracted to people of a certain sex is.

Thing is, if someone is only romantically or sexually attracted to someone if they have blonde hair that doesn't make them blondesexual. If you define sexual orientation that way, then everyone is X-sexual, where X is whatever their deal-breaker is.

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EruditeVolatility

That's not how it works really, at least for me.

There have been MANY relationships I've been in PURELY BECAUSE the other person was intelligent. And I have a sexual attraction to people SOLELY because they are intelligent (or knowledgeable, or whatever, they talk smart things). They could be hideous. Or same gender. Or other gender. Or anything really. Sherlock Holmes, Dr. House, Artemis Fowl, Sheldon Cooper. I would sleep with any of those people in a heartbeat just because they are smart. I've never met someone whose SOLE sexual attraction was blond, or blue eyes, or a large bust, etc, etc.

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  • 10 months later...

I've never met someone whose SOLE sexual attraction was blond, or blue eyes, or a large bust, etc, etc.

I'm sure those who find those solely attractive in a person would say the same thing about intelligence. You're free to be whatever label you want, but I just personally don't see "sapiosexual" as a sexual orientation.

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I really have to thank you because I've been looking for this definition for a while but have not been able to find it. So thank you for bringing it up.

I could define myself as a sapioromatic asexual, I always fall for the professor types. But I don't fall for them in a romantic sense but rather a platonic one, I want to lean against them, listen to them and such but I am a little averse to touch.

Maybe I'm actually an Aromantic Sapio-attracted Asexual... or something weird like that.

Maybe you're sapio-platonic. ;)

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AshenPhoenix

This topic is being closed due to the amount of time that has passed since it's last active conversation. Please do not revive threads that have been inactive for too long. If you wish to discuss this topic further, feel free to create a new thread about it



​AshenPhoenix, Gender Discussions Moderator


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