So for all the -romantics out there, how do you compare with sexuals?

[Bloo]

Whether you're hetero, homo, bi, pan, or what have you, how do you think you compare with the -sexual orientation? Where do you, or would you, draw the lines in your relationships? Do you "crush" as often as a sexual does? Just things I'm curious about :)

[noysoffer]

I'm demisexual, and I don't "crush" at all. When it comes to sex, I really take my time, but technically, I could be sexually attracted to any person (of any gender), whom I love as a friend. This kind of makes me heterosexual, because all of my friends are guys. :)

[5_♦♣]

I have no idea if I crush as often as a sexual does.

[ChesireBat]

I don't think I crush as often. I have to know the person kinda well to crush...just a pretty face doesn't do anything for me.

[Notte stellata]

When I was younger (before 23-24), I had crushes quite often. In recent years I hardly had crushes, at most squishes I guess. Now I think I qualify as demiromantic, because I can't be romantically attracted to someone until knowing them very well. So I suppose I don't crush as often as a sexual does now.

[Hap2]

It's only happened once in my life, and only through a close friendship. When I was in high school, I couldn't tell the difference between finding someone pretty and/or cute to look at and an actual attraction before I had that relationship. Years later, I've never been interested in anyone else since.

[Wineblood]

I think it varies as much for sexuals as it does for anyone else (aces and greys). Overall I think sexuals crush slightly more as sexual attributes will affect them more.

[AsexyGurl1990]

It's amusing- and frustrating -at the same time. I live with my roomate, Krissie, and she's sworn off dating guys after having her heart broken- again. (But "swearing off dating" doesn't count having sex with her exes, which is fine. I'm not one to judge.)

However, I tend to attract friends (in the girls' cases) that have problems with their boyfriends or exboyfriends, and always want my advice in such matters.

Me; the girl who is almost 22 and has never had a boyfriend or been on a "romantic date" in her life. (And honestly has no desire to.)

My bestfriend, a guy named Will, is like my soulmate in the most non-sexual way possible- and he knows I'm asexual. The only slight problem is while he *knows* my asexuality, it's another thing altogether for him to understand it, or truly accept it. He respects I want to be just friends, but he keeps letting me know that he'll wait for "when I change my mind and want to be with him."

And I feel really awkward in a lot of situations because I am, naturally, a very silly, friendly, open-hearted person. My family and friends always comments on how I can be introduced to a complete stranger on the street, and within ten minutes we're talking to each other like we've known each other all our lives. (It's happened a few times before- mainly at amusement parks. LOL.)

I go to a community college, and (I guess because I'm not into the whole "dating scene") I was voted to be on an all-boys dodge ball team because all of the players felt I was the coolest, and easiest, girl to get along with.

I like that- being friends with people. To me, it's fulfilling enough to have friends I can be close with, go on outings and laugh with. I don't need- or want -someone exclusive to "complete" me. And, I love making others feel included, too.

The only time that's a problem is when a guy (and more than once a few girls- again, I don't judge. If anything, I am flattered) takes my behavior to mean I am either flirting with him, or finds it attractive and tries to woo me. It's kinda embarrassing to have someone flirt or try to attract me, with me being completely oblivious (as usual) and playfully responding back... only to later have a friend tell me, "You know s/he was coming on to you, right?"

To which I respond, generally bewildered, "Er... why?"

My roomie and friends don't know I'm asexual (I'm kinda hesitating in telling them or my family because my family will- most likely -try and get me to seek therapy or something. Dead serious.), and are always insisting I go out and find a guy. When I tell them "I don't want a relationship" (trying to weedle out of it) they always come back with "You don't have to be in a relationship to have sex."

When I tell them I want sex as much as I want the plaque, they look at me funny for a moment, and then laugh it off as if I am joking.

Too bad I'm not.

SO... to wrap up my life story in answer to the question, I feel that I am complete in the sense of my identity. But, when it comes to dealing with those not in the know- or just don't understand/refuse to try -I feel like I don't measure up and that there's something about *me* that needs to be fixed.

[Sarcastic_Morteo]

I used to crush on people quite frequently starting at a young age. I never really DO anything about them and just wait for the feeling to go away, but I know I drive my friends crazy with it. It's confounded my identity in the past but I now realize that there's no sexual component to these feelings.

[cuys]

I hardly ever crush. Not even in my teens. I think I've had like three short lived crushes in my life, and I am now 29

[*Orion*]

I think I've had two crushes in my entire life and they were both in my school days, one when I was about 9 and one when I was about 15.

I draw the line at kissing with tongues. Light kisses I'm fine with and I enjoy cuddling but no further than that.

[*Orion*]

Edit: Sorry, double posted.

Please delete this.

[Guest]

I think it varies as much for sexuals as it does for anyone else (aces and greys). Overall I think sexuals crush slightly more as sexual attributes will affect them more.

Thanks for saying this so i didn't have to. :)

I don't know that sexuals crush more than asexuals, but they certainly feel sexual attraction, which means that sexual romantics have two different pulls to people (sexual and romantic) whereas asexual romantics only have one.

Most, if not all, the sexuals I know don't consider being sexually attracted to someone the same thing as a crush. Crush has an almost universal romantic connotation to it.