Spider Bug Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 So, having just finished spending a lovely day with my boyfriend, I would like to pose this question to you folks at asexuality.org. How many of you are repulsed by kissing? (french, regular, etc.) Because frankly, I find it disgusting. It's so slimy and wet and bleegh. On a related note, how do you broach the subject with someone you are in a relationship with? "Hey boyfriend, I really hate it when you drool on my face?" Well anyways, I welcome your thoughts and opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
The Bearded One Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Would you consider being touched by someone's lips on the upper back of the head "kissing"? Link to post Share on other sites
Cota Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 So, having just finished spending a lovely day with my boyfriend, I would like to pose this question to you folks at asexuality.org. How many of you are repulsed by kissing? (french, regular, etc.) Because frankly, I find it disgusting. It's so slimy and wet and bleegh. On a related note, how do you broach the subject with someone you are in a relationship with? "Hey boyfriend, I really hate it when you drool on my face?" Well anyways, I welcome your thoughts and opinions. I don't like kissing, either. Lips to lips is okay, but tongues in each other's mouths? That's pretty gross. I've never understood it when characters did it in movies, or when people did it in public. But apparently that's the "in" thing right now :P If you don't like it, the best thing is to communicate with him. If you want to be fair, you can compromise with each other, or you can ask that he not do it, but that would be unfair to him :( Or you don't have to tell him to keep the relationship on its path, but that wouldn't be fair to you. I'm sure other people will have some advice to share. I just wanted to share my similar disgust. I wish you the best in figuring things out! Link to post Share on other sites
Spider Bug Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 @The Bearded One If you think that's kissing, then I suppose it is. :o @Straw Fedora Thanks for the advice. I get what you mean; when it's just lips, it's all good. but past that it's just. BLERG. I guess it is the "in" thing though. ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Goldberry Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Yep. I'm the same way. It's so slimy. Link to post Share on other sites
whisper in the wind Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I find kissing disgusting, too. Sorry, cant really give any advice, just thought Id throw in that Im of the same opinion as you. Any time I see my sister kissing her boyfriend I get all grossed out and jokingly (though, in all honestly, Im inwardly serious) tell her to go get a room. Idk, just the thought of swapping saliva with something really irks me. Link to post Share on other sites
Spider Bug Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 I find kissing disgusting, too. Sorry, cant really give any advice, just thought Id throw in that Im of the same opinion as you. Any time I see my sister kissing her boyfriend I get all grossed out and jokingly (though, in all honestly, Im inwardly serious) tell her to go get a room. Idk, just the thought of swapping saliva with something really irks me. Your sister kisses her boyfriend in front of you? :P I'm so sorry. that sounds absolutely horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
rits Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Ya know, I'm not really sure about kissing... I just had a date the other night, and everything went great, blah blah blah... so, at the end of it, as he was dropping me off, I felt kinda terrible, because I didn't know how to communicate to him that I had really enjoyed myself and really like him other than kissing him, which I was entirely unprepared to do... Poor guy went home with a hand shake :redface: I guess I pretty much hate the idea of kissing, but sometimes it seems there's no way around it without sending the wrong signals. I guess once we get to know each other better, he'll understand? Tough topic, to be sure. Communication is the obvious solution, but it certainly isn't my strong point. So yeah, sorry for the novel, but that's my recent misadventures in the realm of kissy faces. Link to post Share on other sites
5_♦♣ Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I think kissing is wonderful, quite frankly. And I like seeing others kiss, as I find it to be an endearing display of affection two people have for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
ali_bali Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I get the repulsed-by-kissing thing. I'm not sure I'd say I'm repulsed by it in general. But I don't like open-mouth kissing. They make it look really good in the movies, but to me it's just wet, hot, and weird tasting. Sometimes the other person's breath is smelly. I don't like it. I avoid it a lot with my boyfriend. However, I DO like closed-mouth kisses. I like giving playful pecks and receiving them. I wonder sometimes though if it bothers him. Or if he knows that I avoid open-mouth kisses at all. Most sexuals really seem to like open-mouth kissing. I hope it's not a problem. And rits, I totally get you. I dated my boyfriend for a month before I (reluctantly) let him kiss me. I was just really freaked out and anxious about it, so I just avoided every situation in which a kiss could happen (without having to awkwardly yelp "NO! GET YOUR FACE AWAY FROM ME!"). It takes me a really long time to get comfortable enough around a personal to allow them in my personal space. Link to post Share on other sites
Verust Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I know my sister in the past has been somewhat disgusted with kissing some of her BF's, but I think she may be demi as she does not appear to have an issue with her current super nice BF. I don't believe she ever did say anything to those past BF's though. . I did like kissing quite a bit with the one person but... so far she is the only one I have like liked. I will not and do not want to do any sort of kissing with anyone unless I for some reason end out liking them at which point it is no longer an issue . . I find the sound of other people kissing (or eating) disgusting, but I at least personally understand why people do it now. The gross aspects of it did not even occur to me when I was with her. . I am not really sure how to deal with him kissing you as he may take offense to it somehow but it is your right to not obviously. Saying nothing about it would be bad for you and potentially bad for him. He may notice you not returning the kiss or any other sign and ...well, either bring it up or take silent offense. Either way I think its better to bring it up somehow and try to find some solution (maybe middle ground) than leave it sitting there waiting to cause more problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Spider Bug Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 Thanks for the advice and stories, it's nice to know I'm not the only one. Verust, you're probably right, that's just a horribly awkward thing to bring up. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Keeno Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 If I'm honest - any transfer of body fluids between people grosses me out, kissing (any kind, anywhere) included. I seriously don't get know it can be considered an "enjoyable" activity. Ick. <shudder/> The vast majority of people in the world seem to like it though - as long as I don't have to watch, I'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
DracoBorealis Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I have never kissed or been kissed, and I honestly don't see I have missed out on anything. It's another thing I have no need for. I'm quite indifferent when it comes to kissing -but when I see couples really twisting tongues in the public I must look away. Probing your partner's throat with your tongue in a show-off manner is just... NOT. And, I can't imagine having someone stick their tongue into my mouth I'd probably freak out and bite the thing off. Link to post Share on other sites
Spider Bug Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 I have never kissed or been kissed, and I honestly don't see I have missed out on anything. It's another thing I have no need for. I'm quite indifferent when it comes to kissing -but when I see couples really twisting tongues in the public I must look away. Probing your partner's throat with your tongue in a show-off manner is just... NOT. And, I can't imagine having someone stick their tongue into my mouth I'd probably freak out and bite the thing off. Trust me, you haven't missed anything. It's a thoroughly unpleasant experience. Kind of like being choked by someone's tongue. Link to post Share on other sites
DracoBorealis Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I have never kissed or been kissed, and I honestly don't see I have missed out on anything. It's another thing I have no need for. I'm quite indifferent when it comes to kissing -but when I see couples really twisting tongues in the public I must look away. Probing your partner's throat with your tongue in a show-off manner is just... NOT. And, I can't imagine having someone stick their tongue into my mouth I'd probably freak out and bite the thing off. Trust me, you haven't missed anything. It's a thoroughly unpleasant experience. Kind of like being choked by someone's tongue. I can imagine. People find it weird at my age, but I don't give a toss. It's my mouth, and I am the one who decides what is or is not inserted. Besides, I have better things to do... Link to post Share on other sites
Boo42069yomomma Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Kinda gross, I'd do it to make my girlfriend happy. Link to post Share on other sites
elf_1half Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I've never open-mouth kissed but it seems about as appealing and hygienic to me as licking the floor of a public cafeteria. I've very little experience dating, I like to think if I got close enough to someone I would enjoy kissing but considering how repulsive I find it now it's probably not in the cards for me... Link to post Share on other sites
Verust Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Is open mouth kissing generally a sexual thing or do people also do that just to be close? Link to post Share on other sites
YGR1913 Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 i have no experience with kissing (25,virgin , never dated and never want to) but im not totally repulsed by it either when i see couples kiss in public or in movies and such ,open mouth or the pecks i just feel indifferent to it i guess its supposed to show intimate deep affection between the couple and i guess for sexual people it feels nice or something , usually those types of kissing the deep tongue kiss thing its usually followed by sex whats called Foreplay its to show a deep care for the person , from what i understand i really have very little knowledge about this Link to post Share on other sites
Spider Bug Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 Is open mouth kissing generally a sexual thing or do people also do that just to be close? I think it doesn't have to be for some people, but in general it's more sexual than a closed mouth kiss or a hug. Link to post Share on other sites
JbResurectd Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 OMG...it's so nice to hear the words 'i hate kissing' from the lips of others. The thought of trading saliva with another person is absolutely repulsive to me. Sometimes just hearing people talk and hearing the noise their mouths make can freak me out. My family have never understood this feeling and always tell me I'm weird and that I need to grow up. Nice to know I'm not the only one. :D Link to post Share on other sites
whisper in the wind Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Your sister kisses her boyfriend in front of you? :P I\'m so sorry. that sounds absolutely horrible. Yes -_- Link to post Share on other sites
leeleekitty Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 I'm okay with kissing as long as there's no saliva. I really like being kissed on the cheek, though. But luckily my boyfriend agrees with me that making out's boring. Link to post Share on other sites
Bella92 Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 I hate kissing too. I've only done it twice, and only with guys, but I know that it does nothing for me. One guy tried opening his mouth when we did it, and it was disgusting. I had to resist the urge to wipe my mouth off. I definitely understand where you're coming from. Link to post Share on other sites
Spider Bug Posted April 9, 2012 Author Share Posted April 9, 2012 I hate kissing too. I've only done it twice, and only with guys, but I know that it does nothing for me. One guy tried opening his mouth when we did it, and it was disgusting. I had to resist the urge to wipe my mouth off. I definitely understand where you're coming from. Oh god, I DID wipe my mouth off. I felt horrible. Link to post Share on other sites
Dave1982 Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 I like the kissing! However on occasion I have found that I get a choking sensation, feels like I can't breath even though I'm breathing (talking about kissing with tongues here) while the kiss is taking place. Generally though with someone you like kissing can be very nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Timyx Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 I've always a been repulsed by kissing, and I have no idea how to tell someone I'm in a romantic relationship that I don't like it either. I mean, a kiss on the head, cheek or back of the hand is fine and pretty sweet to me, but on the lips...ehhh.. Link to post Share on other sites
flyingdebris Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Yes, I find it rather revolting for me. I don't mind when other people do it in fiction, but not in real life. It is super gross for me to have a nasty tongue in my mouth. Kissing without tongue is fine. I felt almost queasy the last time it happened (though it could have been b/c he was trying to literally get in my pants when I had no interest in him of any kind) Link to post Share on other sites
glitchunter Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Kissing seems really gross to me. I literally close my eyes when they do it on movies or on TV. I'm pretty sure it's a requirement for there to be a kissing scene in movies, too. I listened to the commentary at the end of the audiobook for Ender's Game, where several people approached the author to make a movie about it, but they all wanted to include romance, which the author made it a point of not including in the book, so it appears that nearly every movie will have romance as a requirement. Link to post Share on other sites
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