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Does it disgust you that people think dirty thoughts about you?


imasexyandiknowit

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It doesn't bother me in the slightest that someone might think of me in a sexual way or fantasize about me.

Hell, it probably wouldn't bother me if I found out about it somehow. It hasn't before, so I've no reason to think it ever will (though I accept it might).

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For me, knowledge forces my involvement as a participant (not knowing is not much better) because of the intimacy that I feel is involved. Thus it does involve me. An image that looks like me or is imagined is every bit the same to me as having me be there.

I understand what you are saying, but because of my feelings on the matter, I feel very justified in feeling so offended. This is one of the few things that I would result to violence over if I found someone pleasured themselves to me AND didn't stop after I confronted them on the matter.

1. But you have no knowledge of it because it's in someone else's head.

2. Someone projecting an image of you is in no way the same as you having to be there. This is evidenced by the fact that people have no doubt pictured you in their minds a gazillion times and it had no affect on you. And I think it's disgustingly insulting to people who have been actually raped or molested to suggest that someone thinking of you is the same fucking thing as someone actually assaulting you. Your assertion that they're the same is flat-out offensive and repulsive.

3. How would you know if they thought of you when masturbating? Even if they said they were, they could be lying. Therefore, it's not the thinking of while masturbating that's the problem (since you have literally no way of knowing if and when that happens... because contrary to your idiotic statement that it's EXACTLY THE SAME AS BEING THERE, it in fact isn't in any way similar to being there)... so obvs the only problem is them telling you about it.

4. If you hurt or killed someone because they said they masturbated to you, I hope you go to jail and get smacked around for thinking that you have the right to inflict physical harm on someone for something in their mind that doesn't in any way affect you.

5. To finish this off, let's play a little thought experiment. There are 4 people in this experiment. Subject A, Subject B, Subject C, and you. Subject A thinks about you sexually but doesn't tell you. Subject B thinks about you sexually and does tell you. Subject C doesn't think about you sexually but says they do. Since you're so sure that it's the thinking about you that's the problem, you tell me... how is it that you are able to know what subject A, B, and C are doing in their mind?

EDIT: You know what, i'm going to go ahead and say it... your opinion smacks of male privilege. It's like you have no idea what being an actual victim is like but you want to play the victim game anyway.

First off... I'm not really sure what your problem is with me, but I always feel attacked by your responses.

Secondly, I prefaced my whole post with knowledge... it's the third word.

Third, I compared it to being whistled at. Not assault. Not rape. I find it offensive that you would twist my words to have it signify such events.

I hate that I have no control over what someone else might think of me. What I do is simply not worry about it. If I found out somehow that someone did pleasure themselves to me in whatever way, I would be livid and feel betrayed as it is something that is very personal and intimate to me. I would approach them in a decent manner and let them know how I feel. If it continued, I would start damaging their items. That's as far as I would go.

I think it'd be best to not reply to me on any other threads if you're going to stretch my words in such ways.

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Infinity∞

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. It's their mind, they can think or imagine whatever they want, just as long as they don't blur the fantasy/reality line and expect me to actually do something.

If someone came up to me and said they had dirty thoughts about me, I'd be surprised because it's an odd thing to bring up... but I wouldn't be disgusted and I certainly wouldn't berate them for it.

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Janus the Fox

Heh... yeah only recently that others must be fantasing and getting arousal when taking long looks and grinning at me, strangers at that... :blink:

I don't mind that but a creppy thought nonetheless, at least my good looks is getting someone off in their minds erm... :o

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Honestly, this used to REALLY bug me. It squicked me out whenever I thought about the possibility of this happening, and I got really uncomfortable and defensive in even mildly sexual situations. I was terrified that I'd never be able to find someone that would care about more than just my body and like me for my personality. Then I did. My current boyfriend is amazing, and cares far more about what come out of my mouth than what I'm wearing or my cup size. Now that I know not everyone sees me as just material for dirty thoughts, it doesn't bother me as much. It's actually almost flattering, as long as they keep the thoughts in their heads.

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I would love it if a girl said that to me, although of course no one is gonna tell you that unless you end up dating them.

It's different for girls receiving attention from guys, I can see how that could be uncomfortable or predatory.

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it is not something that i am the biggest fan of but there is nothing I can do about it. i really don't like the piece of meat looks i get sometimes

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feministnerd

The thought that anyone could think dirty thoughts about me is unfathomable. I have such low self esteem, so of course I dont think of my body in a positive light and could never imagine anyone finding it attractive.

That being said, while I would definitely feel uncomfortable, squeamish and awkward if I found out anyone was thinking about me that way, at the same time I would probably feel a little flattered, only in that Id be surprised and grateful that this person saw something in me other than hideous or ugly. Im a huge people pleaser. I crave approval from others, and while I wouldnt want any sexual advances, I have to admit that if someone does find any kind of attraction in me, it would raise my self-esteem, regardless of how disgusted I am by the thought of what theyre thinking.

Did that make any sense?... lol. :/

That's probably going to be my reaction 90% of the time.

It's natural to have fantasies of a person you know (and not to have any at all). But you shouldn't tell them (unless they wouldn't mind if you did).

My mouth is wide open right now. =O

I am sad that you both feel this way about yourselves. :(

Is there a correlation between asexuals and low (physical) self- esteem?

Perhaps as mine is really low. Has anyone started a poll about how many asexuals have self-esteem issues?

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flyingdebris

Not really.

I find it flattering, I guess...I think I would feel differently if I was sexual, and had these kinds of thoughts about others.

It doesn't mean anything to me.

Recently some random almost stranger told me he would be masturbating all night to thoughts of me. I had to try not to laugh, especially when he said he knew I would be doing the same to thoughts of him. (he thought I was very into him, sexually...yeah right)

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Don't care what they're thinking as long as they don't let me know about such thoughts. Telling me sometimes might be slightly flattering at first, but it gets super annoying fast, especially if I'm at work trying to do my job and random dudes are telling me what they think of me.

Amazon.

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Trava u doma

Oh? I think I'm probably not cousing that thoughts in anyone too often O.O But I'm not bothered by it either way. It's not something I feel so it's not like I'm worried if I'm perceived as attractive in that regard... But at the same time it's not like the possibility of *being* thought of in this manner, has any effect on me.

If I knew I would probably take it as a compliment.

I mean, I honestly don't go like "fuck, he said I'm attractive, what EXACTLY does it mean? Does it mean he MASTURBATES to me??? Does it mean he pictures me in SEXUAL situations???"

I mean, what's the point of wondering about the mechanics of sexual attraction? Someone finds me attractive? Okay. What's the problem, really? :unsure:

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Only if a stranger or family member decided to tell me about their thoughts in explicit detail, or wanted to act their thoughts out. As long as they keep their thoughts and hands to themselves, no problem. ^_^

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Is there a correlation between asexuals and low (physical) self- esteem?

Perhaps as mine is really low. Has anyone started a poll about how many asexuals have self-esteem issues?

Yes. A number of people said their self-esteem was just fine.

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feministnerd

Is there a correlation between asexuals and low (physical) self- esteem?

Perhaps as mine is really low. Has anyone started a poll about how many asexuals have self-esteem issues?

Yes. A number of people said their self-esteem was just fine.

Ah okay, so no correlation.

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I guess in a weird way I'm flattered. That is, until they start bugging me about it, and saying they can "change" me... then it just becomes irritating. <_<

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Metal Fuschia

It doesn't really bother me anymore. It used to, but now I find it kind of flattering (if it's coming from someone I know/trust/love). But if friends/strangers think about me that way, meh... good for them. They're not getting any. I'm taken... and thankfully my partner is ace (or demi-ish).

Same here.

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Strangely Brown

If their sexuality leads them to do that, then fair enough. If they try to bring things into reality, however, then I would not be too amused.

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MiserableGuest

Certainly.

I find it to be a violation of sorts. Can't really explain it but just the thought of someone imagining me naked makes me feel sick & embarassed *shudders*

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I don´t mind it when I don´t know it. :D

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It honestly has never occurred to me to think about people thinking sexual thoughts about me. And up until recently (when I saw another thread on this topic 2 or so months ago), I never knew that other people think about other people thinking about them sexually. (I hope that last part made sense).

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I doubt anyone thinks sexual thoughts about me, but if they do I have no problem with it.

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People are allowed to think what they want, but they'd BETTER keep it to themselves. Anybody vocalizes or acts on their dirty thoughts about me and they're going to regret it. :angry:

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Meh, like many people in this thread, I don't really care even if somebody did think of me in a sexual fashion (something that wouldn't even cross my mind had a couple of people not expressed such thoughts towards me), but only as long as people don't make their thoughts known. Of course, there are no hard feelings if they did that before they had any knowledge of my asexuality.

Once, though, one person who at one point lived at the university with me and about 7-10 other students started acting flirty towards me and that... Well, that was extremely uncomfortable. A random person in the train hitting on me and telling he has a fetish for people with my physical attributes: alright, fine, it's not like we're going to see each other ever again. A person with whom I'm basically stuck with under the same roof and has bathed in the sauna with me, naked (Finnish thing, roll with it)?

Yeah, uh...

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DracoBorealis

I don't think people think of me like that. In fact, I believe they are doing whatever they can to make even the smallest thoughts of me go away :rolleyes: But I would prefer that they think of me as a person, not as a body.

I know there are people who see every woman as nothing but a walking vagina, I would rather have as little to do with those as possible.

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Jack Havock

It doesn't really bother me. I just don't understand or think that anyone does. It does bother me that boys think those thoughts about girls I care for.

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I doubt they would, mainly because I'm 13, and that would be creepy, but people are about as attracted to me as I am to them, by which I mean not at all, I swear I'm a magnet that 'repels' things from both ends. But if I was older & stuff I guess I'd find it gross, possibly take it as a compliment though, although I'd much prefer it if they liked me for me instead of my body and what they could do with it. x_x

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cleuchtturm

I doubt they would, mainly because I'm 13, and that would be creepy. But if I was older & stuff I guess I'd find it gross, possibly take it as a compliment though, although I'd much prefer it if they liked me for me instead of my body and what they could do with it. x_x

Your young age doesn't stop it. Ever heard of pedophiles?

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I doubt they would, mainly because I'm 13, and that would be creepy. But if I was older & stuff I guess I'd find it gross, possibly take it as a compliment though, although I'd much prefer it if they liked me for me instead of my body and what they could do with it. x_x

Your young age doesn't stop it. Ever heard of pedophiles?

I know, that's why I said it would be creepy. ._.

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