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Midnight Lady

My 2 cents for the work topic... So far, I have 6-7 jobs... (don't even remember). Half of them were low-paid customer service things, half of them were more serious and... hm... respected? :) However, I don't know why, but after 6 months at each and single one I would start feeling bored... It is not a good sign! Of course, I would stick around. There was no single job where I quitted just because I was bored or tired. But yeah.... I feel alarmed by this tendency...

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Midnight Lady

So you know I live in Portland, Oregon.

This is my Russian home-town's sister city. :) As well as my current Canadian city's sister city... :) I have also visited Harbin - one more sister city of ours... :)

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So you know I live in Portland, Oregon.

This is my Russian home-town's sister city. :) As well as my current Canadian city's sister city... :) I have also visited Harbin - one more sister city of ours... :)

Sister cities confuse me. Do I get coupons if I visit? :P

I also get bored between 6 months and a year at a job, but i actually do quit/ change jobs because of that. When I get bored I stop showing up as much, and then I start feeling guilty, and then I start feeling resentful. It probably doesn't help that my partner doesn't work so I'm alone in getting up and shuttling off to work. The longest I've had a job is 2 years... though hopefully I'll stay here even if I get bored. I suppose we'll see, huh? I'm at about 5 months now and I feel very content.

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Winter Hill

This is my Russian home-town's sister city. :) As well as my current Canadian city's sister city... :) I have also visited Harbin - one more sister city of ours... :)

Ever since I found out that Penistone's twin town is Grindavik, Iceland, I've been trying to get on the Penistone-Grindavik twinning committee... ;)

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"At the end of the day I think we have to balance our happiness with our paycheck against our happiness doing our work tasks and figure out if we're generally in the red or in the black, happiness-wise".

It wasn't until 7 months ago that I started getting paid. I didn't mind not being paid, as it was though I was getting paid another way; through emotional satisfaction. Then, when I did start getting paid, it was the best of both. It was like life couldn't get any better-and now... Well, I guess I've been obsessing over getting paid rather than doing my job. I guess I've lost my focus on what matters. And it's not like I get paid much anyway, but yet, that's what I've been focusing on.

Though still, I don't know how to get back the passion for my job that I once had.

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You might not. Maybe it's time to find something else to be passionate about? For me, I get obsessively interested in side topics, and eventually that obsession fades once I learn enough about it that I notice I'm circling around the same info again and again.

You edit an asexual publication, right? Well, your sexual orientation maybe isn't going to be your passion forever. I used to do a lot of LGBT stuff too, but I'm burnt out on it. I couldn't care less anymore. I have a friend who used to be into trans activism and dated a transguy for a long time, and she recently said she feels like screaming "no one ever talk to me about your gender troubles. I just don't care. If I have to hear the word gender one more time, I'll scream."

I think you'll find that a lot of people who seem callous to certain movements were once very big in those movements. But after awhile things all seem the same. The same mistakes are made again and again and no one ever learns from them. Teenagers never stop having the same problems and never stop saying the same things. Even on AVEN, the youngsters start the same frickin' threads over and over and over and over and over again. You can only care passionately about an issue for so long before you come to realize that it's extremely banal, that everyone pretty much feels the same way about the same stuff...

In other words, losing your passion for something seems to me to be a good thing. It's like reading the same book over and over. There are a million other things to learn about and be passionate about. Go forth and conquer! And keep in mind that a job is a job. You need to be moderately interested in it and competent. Anything more is just icing.

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That's the thing. I am interested in it. I mean, I've loved pointing out typos in papers for quite some time. And even on here, I have an incredible urge to point out that someone used the word their/there/they're wrong, or that they should have used uninterested, not disinterested etc etc.

And if I quit, what am I going to do? And what if I regret quitting my job?

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Don't quit! As evidenced by Midnight and myself, all jobs get boring. You can't quit them all! Well, you can, I suppose... but the likelihood of finding another job that fits you so well is slim, so you'll be stuck bored AND going into an office you hate.

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ZOINKS.

You people have been busy little bees.

My cookie jar(biscuit barrell.It had Princess Dianna and HRH Sir Prince Charles on the front)is big.But all it contains is stale biscuits.Crumbs if you like of a life I once had.Those crumbs represent the small pieces of conscience I have left.I had the capacity to restock that barrell,keep it constant if you like,but as time wore on and I was on the recieving end of some pretty awfull mental abuse I realised that those stocks would have to fall.And fall they did,until there are only three biscuits left.The three most delightfully,tasty,indulgent biscuits man or woman could encounter.

I feel reluctant to say too much on here.I'm currently looking into a theory I have after reading a lot of information,that a hard blow to the head when I was younger resulted in a lot of my problems.P.D.'s are not with you from birth,rather a product of your environment.I had a wonderfull childhood,with loving parents and siblings(shit where did it go wrong)so I don't fit the normal MO of someone with a traumatic past.That being said not every sociopath borderline or no,has a shit childhood.I recieved a graphic novel for my Birthday entitled Jeff.Jeff being Jeff Dahmer.It is his story told by an old school pal,who now writes comics.Everthing in there is accurate and yet up until he commits his first crime,you do feel a certain sympathy for him.Another book I am reading is a biography on a contract killer for the Mafia,called Richard Kuklinski and again the same thing applies,a certain amount of sympathy.Both had tough,more so Richard,childhoods.And psychiatrists say this is to blame for the monsters they turned into.

I have seen and personally been involved in some truly awfull situations.Nothing illegal I must stress.But the time I spent in hospital,on the many addmissions I had I used to believe were the result of me being the way I am.Now I can see,that that is the reason I was there.

Those three biscuits are my Mum,my other Brother and my nephew.The discarded crumbs,now rotten and part of the Earth are the rest of my family.I love this site so much and I feel priviledged everyday for being able to talk to anyone,wether they want to listen or not.Ask anyone who PM's me and they will tell you that what I said is 100% accurate.I care about a lot of people in our community and out of respect for those people and the,well,love I have for some I can't say what my innermost sociopathic motivations are.I would however like to say that you should feel free to drop me a line,if you would like to know more.

In closing I am not a monster.I am cold,unemotional and at times an absoulute heartless piece of shit.I admit that.But I do have a few reedeeming qualities.

If you are going to buy digestives,then it has to be Mcvities,they are by far a better dunker.On this occasion cheaper brands just don't cut it.For a more robust dunker give hobnobs a go.No that isn't a Northern euphamism for a blowjob.

Thanks again.Dex.

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Midnight Lady

So you know I live in Portland, Oregon.

This is my Russian home-town's sister city. :) As well as my current Canadian city's sister city... :) I have also visited Harbin - one more sister city of ours... :)

Sister cities confuse me. Do I get coupons if I visit? :P

I also get bored between 6 months and a year at a job, but i actually do quit/ change jobs because of that. When I get bored I stop showing up as much, and then I start feeling guilty, and then I start feeling resentful. It probably doesn't help that my partner doesn't work so I'm alone in getting up and shuttling off to work. The longest I've had a job is 2 years... though hopefully I'll stay here even if I get bored. I suppose we'll see, huh? I'm at about 5 months now and I feel very content.

But isn't it a negative trend??? That what bugs and worries me. It reminds me of quitters - people who will quit as soon as something stops being nice. The same as in relations... As a romantic person, I saw it too often now - how romance dies little by little, and I get bored... And I also don't like this tendency as well... The job part might be as bad... Because I believe that there are people who are capable to stick around the same job for a long time without boredom! As someone who is after Positive Psychology, I want to know how they do it, what's their secret???

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I absolutely think of it as negative. I am not proud of myself... and ultimately I would love to stay at the same firm for 20 years or whatever. I'm envious of people who do that.

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Don't quit! As evidenced by Midnight and myself, all jobs get boring. You can't quit them all! Well, you can, I suppose... but the likelihood of finding another job that fits you so well is slim, so you'll be stuck bored AND going into an office you hate.

I don't want to, but I don't know how to get the passion back I once had. As it's just not the same without passion. I mean, back in high school, we were asked if we would rather have a job we hate but pays well or a job we love but doesn't pay well. At the time, my thought was "Why not both? Why does it have to be either or"? As it turned out, up until recently, I would've been able to answer "I have a job that I love but doesn't pay well".

Still though, I really really really don't want to quit.

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Beachwalker

Since the age of 18 I never lived in the same place or worked at the same place for more than 2 years. I have lived in Darwin now for 7 years but have moved 3 times. My last move was 2 years ago when I bought this place, prior to that I rented. I like having my own place and being able to paint the walls any colour I like. My lounge has a purple feature wall and I have a green kitchen. I will have to move again as I really need somewhere bigger with the little boys here but for now it will do and I am very settled in Darwin. I have just resigned from my job as a midwife.

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Beachwalker

Back onto conscience. So if someone lacks a cookie jar altogether their motivations will be solely focussed on their own wants and needs, is that correct? But if they have a cookie jar but it's been filled with licorice allsorts they might not think twice about actions which if the licorice allsorts were then swapped for hob nobs they would then give something more than a second thought and review their actions. A community collective conscience of you like. For example tail docking for certain breeds of dogs and circumcision of male infants were common practice 20 years ago in Australia, now these practices are frowned upon and considered cruel and have become rare occurrences. So the cookies are to some degree social constructions. Not that the person without a cookie jar would still want these things to occur but if it gave them some form of gratification they still wouldn't think twice about it.

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AceofClubs, so do you think getting paid for your job directly influenced your passion for the work in an inverse sort of way?

ML, I've observed that some people stay at their job for a long time because they like the settled feeling and are averse to change. They may find the actual job boring and routine, yet enjoy feeling competent in what they do. Some have been challenged by their bosses or by their own motivation to make more money and have moved up only to find that they were promoted beyond their competency level. While they could become competent, they really don't want the challenge and the accompanying stress in having a higher level position. Additionally, they find other ways to relieve the boredom such as getting into everyone else's business, shooting the breeze about the Packers, and/or cross-training in a lateral position. Their job is a means to make money, not realize their passions ... that comes outside of the office.

Dex, if you like studying serial killers (because there is so much public info about them), then you may be interested to know that Richard Ramirez parents believe his personality changed when a bookcase fell over on him. As for Jeffrey Dahmer, I recall that his parents left him when they decided to split and this may have been what led to his abandonment issues ... although he did live with his grandmother for awhile. Another young adult may have viewed this as freedom from the parental units and an opportunity to do their own thing ... and not suffer from any issues or garner sympathy. It just depends on the individual. I haven't read that particular book, but his childhood pal may have other things to add.

SM, on my days off, I never seem to get around to doing all the things I had planned to do. I don't feel guilty or blue about it ... I just realize that I tend to procrastinate and enjoy the luxury of being lazy. :) BTW, why do you think you would love being on a jury?

Lucinda

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Midnight Lady

ML, I've observed that some people stay at their job for a long time because they like the settled feeling and are averse to change. They may find the actual job boring and routine, yet enjoy feeling competent in what they do. Some have been challenged by their bosses or by their own motivation to make more money and have moved up only to find that they were promoted beyond their competency level. While they could become competent, they really don't want the challenge and the accompanying stress in having a higher level position. Additionally, they find other ways to relieve the boredom such as getting into everyone else's business, shooting the breeze about the Packers, and/or cross-training in a lateral position. Their job is a means to make money, not realize their passions ... that comes outside of the office.

Lucinda

But are there other cases??? I mean doing something (being with someone) for the convenience is not something unusual. But there SHOULD be those who do enjoy jobs (relations) even after many years... I just believe they do exist... And their secret I want to know...

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AceofClubs, so do you think getting paid for your job directly influenced your passion for the work in an inverse sort of way?

Lucinda

More like indirectly. I was happy when I initially got paid and for the few months following. But somewhere along the way, money became the object of my obsession, rather than my job. Of course, it didn't help much that 2 weeks ago, $4000 were deposited in both my and my brother's bank accounts, following the death of my uncle in Oct 2010. You see, my brother just started college to become a network technician. And he needed $7000 for tuition. And since then, I've been wondering whether to get a cat or another tattoo or something with the remaining $1000.

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CompassRose

Ok, I'm now officially as obsessed with AVEN as I was when I first discovered it. The difference is that now I not only want to read everything (within a limited area - not the whole site) but I want to comment on it, because the people I'm reading are people I like a lot and feel connected to. My problem is that I haven't had time to keep up the way I want to lately. And the later I stay up reading to keep up, the tireder I get, and the less energy I have to make serious replies. It's a downward spiral.

Which is my way of saying I'm reading all this with sympathy, but I'm too darn tired to respond coherently. A fond good night (good afternoon, good morning as the case may be) to you all.

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Beachwalker

Ok, I'm now officially as obsessed with AVEN as I was when I first discovered it. The difference is that now I not only want to read everything (within a limited area - not the whole site) but I want to comment on it, because the people I'm reading are people I like a lot and feel connected to. My problem is that I haven't had time to keep up the way I want to lately. And the later I stay up reading to keep up, the tireder I get, and the less energy I have to make serious replies. It's a downward spiral.

Which is my way of saying I'm reading all this with sympathy, but I'm too darn tired to respond coherently. A fond good night (good afternoon, good morning as the case may be) to you all.

Nighty nite compass

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Ok...Lucinda and Skulls are right, the no compensation thing is probably me just whining. My real question initially was is it right to not compensate for attendance if you would deal out retribution for not attending? Perhaps I have been at my job too long, perhaps not. I have been there for 14 years and am on my third (and yes, best yet) boss. Staying at the same location has not given me a promotion to a higher level position, but it has kept my client base from being annoyed with me for hopping around town.

M, I think the positive psychology comes in riding things out, both in the workplace and in relationships. But not JUST in riding them out. Each time something unpleasant happens (which it will), if the experience is evaluated and one can see their own failings and have a desire to make a renewed effort, well, there you go. I think positive psychology must involve personal responsibility.

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ZOINKS.

You people have been busy little bees.

My cookie jar(biscuit barrell.It had Princess Dianna and HRH Sir Prince Charles on the front)is big.But all it contains is stale biscuits.Crumbs if you like of a life I once had.Those crumbs represent the small pieces of conscience I have left.I had the capacity to restock that barrell,keep it constant if you like,but as time wore on and I was on the recieving end of some pretty awfull mental abuse I realised that those stocks would have to fall.And fall they did,until there are only three biscuits left.The three most delightfully,tasty,indulgent biscuits man or woman could encounter.

I feel reluctant to say too much on here.I'm currently looking into a theory I have after reading a lot of information,that a hard blow to the head when I was younger resulted in a lot of my problems.P.D.'s are not with you from birth,rather a product of your environment.I had a wonderfull childhood,with loving parents and siblings(shit where did it go wrong)so I don't fit the normal MO of someone with a traumatic past.That being said not every sociopath borderline or no,has a shit childhood.I recieved a graphic novel for my Birthday entitled Jeff.Jeff being Jeff Dahmer.It is his story told by an old school pal,who now writes comics.Everthing in there is accurate and yet up until he commits his first crime,you do feel a certain sympathy for him.Another book I am reading is a biography on a contract killer for the Mafia,called Richard Kuklinski and again the same thing applies,a certain amount of sympathy.Both had tough,more so Richard,childhoods.And psychiatrists say this is to blame for the monsters they turned into.

I have seen and personally been involved in some truly awfull situations.Nothing illegal I must stress.But the time I spent in hospital,on the many addmissions I had I used to believe were the result of me being the way I am.Now I can see,that that is the reason I was there.

Those three biscuits are my Mum,my other Brother and my nephew.The discarded crumbs,now rotten and part of the Earth are the rest of my family.I love this site so much and I feel priviledged everyday for being able to talk to anyone,wether they want to listen or not.Ask anyone who PM's me and they will tell you that what I said is 100% accurate.I care about a lot of people in our community and out of respect for those people and the,well,love I have for some I can't say what my innermost sociopathic motivations are.I would however like to say that you should feel free to drop me a line,if you would like to know more.

In closing I am not a monster.I am cold,unemotional and at times an absoulute heartless piece of shit.I admit that.But I do have a few reedeeming qualities.

If you are going to buy digestives,then it has to be Mcvities,they are by far a better dunker.On this occasion cheaper brands just don't cut it.For a more robust dunker give hobnobs a go.No that isn't a Northern euphamism for a blowjob.

Thanks again.Dex.

I must confess I find your fascination with psycho killers somewhat disturbing. I hope you're not planning to take lessons from them. :mellow:

This is exactly what I didn't want to happen.

I know it was my decision to post and ultimately if I feel I have said too much,then it is my fault alone.

But before I get blacklisted from every meet on a Worldwide scale I feel I should try and explain this one.And then I shall refrain from talking about it.

I'm interested in serial killers,yes and I admit that a guy with a history of mental health problems will always get frowned upon by people when they find this out,more so than people free of the mentals.I am more interested in their motives,the paths they took,that ultimately led to them becoming some of the most notorious people in history.Obviously their methods of killing will be disscussed,it is a book about killers after all,there isn't a P.G. rating that could be applied.I have no interest whatsoever in people who commit atrocities such as The Columbine Massacre or a case which happened in Scotland in the 90's,known as the Dunblane Massacre.That particular incident still haunts me,as it probably does for countless others who saw it unfold on the news.There methods do not interest me.I will not even consider reading about their childhoods or subsequent paths which led them to do what they did.Hypocrisy,most definitlty they did after all kill people,just as Bundy,Dahmer and the rest of that lot did.Call it a sudden burst of insanity or an underlying current of evil,but the Dunblane and Columbine killers,just had grudges.As Lucinda pointed out,Dahmer was essentially abandodned by the adults in his life.Not just his parents,but the teachers and councillors who he saw daily and just ignored the fact that he turned up every morning,we are talking 8:30 here,for school,rolling drunk.This started when he was 14.He needed that guidance,to talk to someone when his urges started.He was left to rot.Again I do not condone what he did.As soon as he murdered the sympathy vanished.He could have handed himself in,but continued to mureder for over a decade.Richard Kuklinski I happened upon by chance.Ever since watching Goodfellas I was fascinated by Mafia life.In the film Joe Pesci,Bobby de niro an Ray Liotta whack a made guy.Billy bats was his name and he was a member of the Gambino family the largest of the 5 families in the American Mafia.Billy bats was an associate of "lefty" Al pacinos character in Donnie Brasco another good film.I read up on the Gambino family and Richard was often mentioned.I reasearched found out about his book and it just happened he was a sociopath.My love for graphic novels led to my Bro. buying me the book on Dahmer.He knows,just like my family does that I like that sort of thing and was happy to buy it for me and is now reading it himself.So far he has come to the same conclusion as I have.I am not a violent man.Yeah I have been in fights,most men have.But I could never kill someone.That is a part of my conscience and a part that wil never allow me to do so.Hell I couldn't even put a rabbit I found entangled in barbed wire out of it's misery.Not because I value the life of an animal over that of a humans,because I value all life.None of the people I have mentioned in the previous posts had that value towards humanity.And they,as far as I am aware,didn't come out publicly and state that.

@Skullerymaid.Am I guilty of gimmick infringement?You say you have heard the three biscuit analogy somewhere else.Have I read someones elses post an subconciously nicked it.Maybe we need to start copyrighting our Metaphors :P

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Dex, I'm fascinated by serial killers too. Dahmer had problems long before his parents abandoned him. They dug up carcasses of dead animals from his childhood home's yard. AND... as i type this I remember where I heard the 3 biscuit thing before. It was in a movie... maybe that stupid one by the people who did 300... I forget the name, but it was like Clash of the Titans but even gayer.

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Charles Manson is up for parole again, I just heard this on my drive from one job to the next. He's 77 and had some weapon they found and also a cell phone. He won't get out on parole I guess, he'll be 92 when he gets his next chance at it.

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Midnight Lady

Charles Manson is up for parole again, I just heard this on my drive from one job to the next. He's 77 and had some weapon they found and also a cell phone. He won't get out on parole I guess, he'll be 92 when he gets his next chance at it.

Some people just love their lives too much! :)

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