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The Good Partner Thread

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Tarfeather

Me: "Wasn't the solar eclipse like two hours ago?"

C.: "Yes, I heard about it on the radio, but I don't think it's a very spectacular event."

Moments like this I realize that I'm a very lucky person. :)

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BunnyCuddles

My partner is just a huge sweetheart! I absolutely adore when they pet my hair, it always just makes me feel happy and loved :). My spouse is really good at complimenting me, such as they call me smart a lot and it always makes me shy and embarrassed but...I secretly love it, shh! All I can say is I honestly don't think about my partner being asexual most of the time- their affection makes me feel loved enough.

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The Wreyck

I don't usually tell my partner this (because guys are weird), but he's so very adorable (don't think he cares for that adjective :P ). I'm a fluid grey-romantic and sexually repulsed fluid on sensuality. He gets all that, and he's the most respectful as could possibly be to not go too far with me. I think it's just the cutest thing ever. In his latest letter that he wrote to me he said: "I plan on a military career with the U.S. Marines. But I want to go to school first and start a good life hopefully (if I'm not being too forward) with you." He's been recruited from all four branches of the military, and he's finally made his decision on the matter. But I just find the way he phrased that all too sweet. I love him so much, most understanding partner I could ever wish for.

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ThaHoward

Hm, when is he planning on going to the marine corps?

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GeorgeSand

Yesterday, my husband got all excited about the weekend, and decided we should go on a hike. He seemed so happy about the idea, and I love the outdoors, and I love seeing him express excitement and happiness! He spent the afternoon researching the perfect pair of hiking shoes for me and bought them; also some trek poles and other hiking items. That night, it was a beautiful, clear sky, and he pulled out his new telescope and had a great several hours fiddling with it, checking out Jupiter and the moon and some star clusters.

I love seeing him so happy. :) I'm really looking forward to Saturday. I've been begging him to travel, and camp, and hike, for literally our entire 8-year marriage. This year is the year. We already took a trip to Utah and got some hiking in; we plan to head to the PNW this summer for two weeks. We've got all sorts of other plans. Hurrah!

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Venusflytrap

My partner is usually the sweetest, cutest old man ever. Despite being almost 70, we went out running yesterday - and he taught me how to run, not the other way round. We have travelled together on his motorbike all over the western states of the U.S., camping, hiking and hanging out wherever we find ourselves. Because I'm scared of bears (hey, I'm English, we don't have bears!) he bought me a little black bear when we were in Yellowstone 'to protect me'. Since then he's added a new cuddly toy to commemorate every State we've travelled through. He proposed to me on Christmas day in Circus Maximus, Rome. He taught me to ice skate in Munich.

He's spent a long adult life being sexually confused and abused and I am honoured to be the one with whom he finally gets to have a relationship where he can really let loose and enjoy it. It's no bed of roses, and I am madly frustrated at the lack of sexual intimacy, but everything else is better than with anyone else I've been with. Perhaps it wouldn't be a rose if it didn't have thorn.

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Farlie64

This post is a great idea. I'm a newbie (with a husband I suspect as being a grey-a but he will not talk about it), and reading though the posts has gotten me more and more down about our situation, but here goes! My Capt. America is the greatest; I've been holed up at my desk with a stream of uni assignments and he's been taking care of all the domestic duties, this morning I slept in, and he brought me a heat pack and placed it on my sore back as I slept. Such a gem 😍

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labinnacslove

My husband recently came out as asexual and after almost 6 years together and 2 years of marriage.After turning to me and being open about it that finally it all made sense. I think this post is really neat and wanted to Make a contribution.

He is someone who started out as a close friend that I could talk to about anything and then turned into my partner. He is a caring person for so many and can be quick to forgive someone that has done something wrong to either us (depending on the situation) where I am the exact opposite. He is such a loving person and been my biggest supporter in my dreams. He is hard working and going to college to become a special education teacher. We are going to be having a baby soon and after the hardships we had before I feel we have gotten along better now after he been open. The biggest complaint I ever had before had been sex because for so long I felt like "why am I not good enough for him.?" Now it is getting better as we communicate with each other. He plays a lot of video games which sometimes drives me nuts because I want time with him. He always will do little things that makes me smile.

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janicecakes

I am so happy to have found this thread, however i'm bummed the posts are so long ago. Still, reading them over and over will help me know i'm not the only one and there is a good way to go about this. I hate that divorce is the first thing you see on other sexless marriage support sites. I love my marriage and husband. I dont want to throw it all away!

I'm not sure my husband is asexual, or just not attracted. But we've been together a long time. I wish I could have stepped out of myself years ago and said, its okay to not have sex. I've finally pulled my head out and decided I want my amazing relationship much more than I want sex. Its really hard. Its depressing sometimes and my mind travels to 'if only I was skinnier, if only I was more attractive, if only' blah blah blah. But I have to jump out of that mindset fast to tell myself that any of those things wouldnt make a difference, and it is what it is, so I need to make the best of it for both of us.

There are a LOT of things I can list about him and how wonderful he is. He always takes the kids/baby when I've had enough. He does the dishes, and makes dinner a lot of the time. He is ALWAYS funny and great to be around. He makes it easy to laugh and have fun, even in tough situations. Hes the best dad my kids could ever ask for. I love him so so so much!

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Poots

........

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Tarfeather

Me: "The cashier complimented me on my new hair cut today. How come you don't ever compliment me on my looks?"

C: "That's because I like you for your inner values."

Uhm.. I can't argue with that. ^^'

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ropesend

My partner is hetero-romantic to the nines. Flowers, romantic dinners, quality time, taking long walks, words of love & appreciation. I have the most romantic partner in the world. Also very smart and handsome.

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Rin-likes-rain

My boyfriend is pretty sexual, even though he is celibate til marriage. He want's it pretty bad, but he said he would be perfectly fine if we never slept together. He said he would give up everything to have me. The thing is though, is that I really love him, and I want to be able to give that to him. He means the world to me, and I want to share as much as I can with him. It's still nice to know that he'll stay with me if I can't do it.

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Dawnsboyrich

My wife and I painted each others toes the other day. I did a black grey white and purple combo on her, and she did a black grey white grey black combo on me.

It's so nice to know she accepts me the way I am.

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Mo!

My wife is a good partner because she takes good care of me. It is almost physically impossible for me to work right now. She pays all the bills on just her salary and goes to school full-time. I go to school full-time and am basically a housewife.

She doesn't judge me for my past. She listens to me talk about anything and everything without shutting me down. She puts up with my crazy family. There are many other things too, but these are some of the first things to come to mind.

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Mime2Waste

My girlfriend constantly urges me to take that extra step: to reach higher, to think wider, to work harder. She motivates me in a way that no one else has been able to accomplish.

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Groovysexual

Her honesty. She's honest about how my form of expressing intimacy through sexual intercourse is invalid and unwarranted. She's real good about telling me how I should express myself to her liking. She's also kind for bringing this all up years into our relationship. Better late than never I say!

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brassyhub

My lesbian asexual wife is a really great cook, and she loves trying out new things, new recipes.

On Sunday, we planted 100 bulbs in our garden. And I had a kind of vision that the decisions that we've made to stay together are a bit the same as these bulbs: planted, but invisible to the outside eye, and perhaps, just perhaps, some time in the future, after many months and snow and frost, they'll come to flower. So perhaps there are still some unexpected 'flowers' to come in our life together.

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wide awake

So many wonderful things said in this thread.. it gives me hope :)

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HanBanan

I found out I was asexual before my husband and I got married. After many conversations about it, I staight-forwardly asked if he still wanted to marry me. He seemed utterly shocked. Of course he still wanted to marry me! I had been on AVEN for a few months and kept reading comments and "advice" that centered around the idea that, "I don't see how a mixed relationship could work, so you should just break up with the partner you love so dearly." My husband didn't care, though. He said, "I will go without sex every day for the rest of my life if it means I get to spend it with you." :wub: This gave me plenty of motivation to get back into therapy and rid myself of this annoying sex-repulsion. I knew that, if I could get to the point of apathy, we could make it fun enough for me that I will be able to partake a few times a week. Instead of being scared, I'm excited for a bright future with a man who is willing to meet me wherever I stand :D

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Neapolitan_Cat

My partner (currently still on relationship break for I don't know how long) is heterosexual and I'm the ace. He's good for company and I love him. He's so huggable. And his hair is such a gorgeous color!

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Lady Girl

I'm no cook...and I'll readily admit it. I could cook, but since Mr. LG is better at it than I am, he prepares our meals. I think he's a really amazing partner because he takes the time to make special dishes...almost everytime. But what's really awesome is when he wants something super spicy for himself and makes my portion not so spicy. <3

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Tarfeather

Got this for Valentine's:

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"I really like you" chocolate is my favourite brand of chocolate..

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Anthracite_Impreza

...

I'm not usually soppy but that is really adorable :3

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Asexual McQueen

Yesterday was Mr. LG's birthday, he's 49 now and says he feels good about that. http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/smile.gif We had a really nice day together...he took us out to eat with his birthday money and then wanted to stop at Barnes & Noble. He found a couple of good books for himself and then saw I was looking at a couple myself. He asked if I would like them and said he would buy them for me. I said yeah, I'd like them but didn't want him to spend his birthday money on me. He's so sweet he said, "It's my birthday, and my birthday money, I want to get them for you. Is there anything else you want here?" http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/wub.gif

Last week when we were talking about the changes at his work and him making less money but maybe working just as hard he said, "None of that really matters to me, as long as I've got you." Gulp, it really doesn't get much better than that! I love him so much. http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/wub.gif http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/wub.gif http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/wub.gif

Thanks again EVERYONE for posting such loving stories!!! Please keep them coming. http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/biggrin.gif I like to smile!

Yesterday was Mr. LG's birthday, he's 49 now and says he feels good about that. http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/smile.gif We had a really nice day together...he took us out to eat with his birthday money and then wanted to stop at Barnes & Noble. He found a couple of good books for himself and then saw I was looking at a couple myself. He asked if I would like them and said he would buy them for me. I said yeah, I'd like them but didn't want him to spend his birthday money on me. He's so sweet he said, "It's my birthday, and my birthday money, I want to get them for you. Is there anything else you want here?" http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/wub.gif

Last week when we were talking about the changes at his work and him making less money but maybe working just as hard he said, "None of that really matters to me, as long as I've got you." Gulp, it really doesn't get much better than that! I love him so much. http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/wub.gif http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/wub.gif http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/wub.gif

Thanks again EVERYONE for posting such loving stories!!! Please keep them coming. http://www.asexuality.org/en/public/style_emoticons/#EMO_DIR#/biggrin.gif I like to smile!

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P_Ryan

This is officially my first post! Anyway, my wife just told me that she is likely asexual (there's A LOT of history and story but I'll save that for another thread).. Anyway, the good. After a long weekend of emotion, she told me that I look very handsome when I'm thinking. I don't know why, but it made me cry. Theres a lot of hope and good on this website and I'm excited to use these forums to better understand my wife when she can't make it make sense to me. I see us using it together to help us on the next chapter of our lives. We love each other deeply and we want a more intimate marriage, whatever that means. So, consider this my happy lost!

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Tarfeather

I just have to give voice to this thought..

My partner is the most amazing person ever. :wub: Time after time, she does things that "normal" people would not consider acceptable from their partner. But every time, sooner or later, she makes up for it by being grand in a way that nobody else in my life has ever been. I don't deserve her! And yet, she's apparently the only person who thinks that I *do* deserve them. We're practically made for each other, and it's a miracle that we happened to meet. I don't really believe in spiritual stuff, but if I have a soul mate, she's certainly right with me.

I don't really worry about the sex anymore. There are things in life I value so much more than pleasure, and she certainly tops that list.

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Tarfeather

Am I really the only person posting here? T_T

Anyway, good partner moments: When I'm heartbroken and my girlfriend comforts me. And then a few days later she performs badly on an exam and I comfort her. It's nice being able to be there for each other in our worst times, especially if it involves hugs. ^^

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BluePanda

My asexual partner is an incredible person who just has this personality that intrigues and draws people in, she's open and supportive of everyone no matter how well she knows them.

One of my favourite things to do is just sit and listen to her talking about something she's interested in, ie books or politics, when she's talking you can see her eyes light up with excitement and it reminds me of why I absolutely adore her :)

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SoyCaptain

My partner is one of the most compassionate people I've ever met. He has kind words for everyone, even in the middle of a disagreement. He's helping me strive to be a more empathetic person, just through his presence in my life.

He's also a huge nerd. He loves researching stuff and crunching numbers and learning new things. As an example, we were once joking about stealing a canoe and visiting a friend in Norway (we're in North America) and he calculated how long it would take based on average rowing speed and how many pounds of food we would have to pack. For fun! I call him a goob all the time and joke about shoving him into lockers but I love that part of him, and I love watching his mind at work and how he dives into things that way.

I love that he has endless patience for my need for assurance. I get really anxious that people in my life don't really like me or that they're just tolerating me or that I'm being pushy or annoying, and he's always willing to calm and reassure me.

I love that he's vegan like me and interested in protesting for animal rights causes. This May we're going to go protest at Marineland together, and I'm really excited because it's his first protest and I had such a blast last time.

Gosh. I just love him. I can't wait to see him again (39 days!)

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