Lady Girl

The Good Partner Thread

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Azakel

The girl I'm with while wanting to take it slow(building up a strong friendship first), this being both are first relationship ever and the first time someone has showed interest in her still let me show her how a care for her. As long as we're not around certain people(i.e. her mom, who despite us both being adults is against her kids dating) I can call her my girlfriend, which is odd for her so I don't do it a whole lot. Also last weekend was are first month together and we where at a Convention, she saw a necklace she liked so I got it, wasn't able to give it her till the next day and since we where still Cosplaying(sorry if no one knows what that is ;p) I was expecting her to put it a way for later. She put in on right away. I know it doesn't seem like much, but to me it show she cares, even when I don't see it all the time. 

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anamikanon

@Groodleit sounds like you may be somewhere on the gray spectrum yourself. Your post sounds a lot like how my ace describes his previous relationships. The one partner he was pretty serious with and for a couple of years didn't want to have sex till she married. They were still students, and marriage plans weren't on the horizon. He describes it as he would be fine if she was ready for sex (he's also "fine" having and enjoying sex with me), but didn't feel any particular necessity (doesn't find sex necessary with me either - though I am very sexual). In the two years they were together, he was fine with cuddling and such and never attempting to move the relationship to the next level. He, of course, is asexual.

 

Or, of course, rape made you wary about sex being expected in the relationship, even though you are sexual. Surprisingly, I can relate to that too. I suffered from marital rape in a previous relationship, and one of the most attractive things about my ace initially was that there was never any sexual pressure. I didn't know he was ace, but registered the "safety" as a desirable quality. That said, the lack of pressure was great, the lack of sex is hard for me.

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frednsa

i think i'm the "best" partner.  being married to an asexual lady for a half-century and not eating my gun or turning it on her qualifies me ......   LOL !

don't know why after all this time, i'm hurting more than ever.  perhaps it's my window closing, perhaps i'm just "blessed" with extra hormones, considering my age.....

Hurtin' for certain !  coping help is hard to imagine.............

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c.o.s

One thing I battle is my own insecurity & the issues that arise in me without the panacea of being desired sexually by my partner. A strategy I use to help me access the deep love he shows uniquely to me is to remember "love languages"

I want to quote the right author but I'm too lazy to look it up right now lol. He says that humans express and receive love & affection in a variety of different ways:

acts of service

words of affirmation

quality time

gift giving.   as well as 

physical touch & closeness

So in sexual & non sexual relationships alike we strive to learn to access & receive the love being offered to us in that person's own language

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Telecaster68
45 minutes ago, c.o.s said:

One thing I battle is my own insecurity & the issues that arise in me without the panacea of being desired sexually by my partner. A strategy I use to help me access the deep love he shows uniquely to me is to remember "love languages"

I want to quote the right author but I'm too lazy to look it up right now lol. He says that humans express and receive love & affection in a variety of different ways:

acts of service

words of affirmation

quality time

gift giving.   as well as 

physical touch & closeness

So in sexual & non sexual relationships alike we strive to learn to access & receive the love being offered to us in that person's own language

That tends to work to an extent, but in the end it comes down to only being offered cake when you really want bacon.

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ace_settler86
12 hours ago, Telecaster68 said:

That tends to work to an extent, but in the end it comes down to only being offered cake when you really want bacon.

Bacon as in, pig's meat?

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