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Kikachu

Romantic Attraction?

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Kikachu

So I'm actually pretty sure this has been asked like a billion times, but what does having romantic attraction towards someone even feel like? I've been recently wondering if I'm actually aromantic or something because whenever I read and then there happens to be a romantic subplot (particularly if it's written in first person) the feelings described by the characters make NO sense to me. How is liking someone in a romantic sense different from liking them in a platonic sense? SAme with love. I just don't get it.

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RandomGirlK

Romantic attraction is pretty much everything people do in relationships do that isnt sexual. Its hard for me to explain.

When I am attracted to someone in a romantic way, the way I feel when I see them is like the same feeling you would get when you meet a celebrity. Like "OMG I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE TALKING TO ME". Like its something really amazing and special. I want to spend loads of time with them, think about them a lot, and will do anything to get their attention or have an opportunity to talk to them. When I am with them, everything seems special. I cant stop looking at them, and smile every time I am reminded of them, whether its something like seeing a picture of them, or hearing a song that reminds me of them, or even hearing their name (even if its a character in a book or TV show that has their name). One minute Im excited and think Im going to explode with joy because they commented on my Facebook status, the next minute Im upset because Im worried they dont like me, or will never feel the same way about me. Nomatter how well I know them, I still feel shy when I really want to call them, or their name comes up as online in MSN and I just want to say hi, and I worry a lot about annoying them by talking to them too much. I also want to be closer to them than I would be with a friend, and long to hug them and kiss them.

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Boo42069yomomma

In my opinion, it's amazing

I thought I was Aromantic. Until a few weeks ago. Now I'm in a relationship & have never been better.

Anyhow, it's like everytime you see the person you like, it sets off this feeling inside you. I can't describe it, but it's absolutely amazing. But not for everybody. A good friend of mine doesn't like lovey stuff (granted he may be 1000x more masculine than Moi)

Sorry for the lack of helpfulness, but I'm afraid I can't quite describe it.

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Bellaitalia

Question for random girl and Hilleo: when you have these romantic attractions with these people..if things happen to progress in a way where they definitely "like" you and you are almost positive..do you still like them or do your romantic feelings go away?

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RandomGirlK

I have never got that far, all of the crushes I have had are on people who are either people I couldnt be in a relationship with (celebrities, teachers, people who I only know on the internet) or are only into men. I have never had a crush on someone who could love me back. I think I would be happy and love them even more if they loved me, cause then I can actually do all of the things I imagine doing with them, like kissing and going on dates and being a perfect couple.

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Bellaitalia

Okay--do you think there is a reason why you "crush" on unavailable men? Because I kind of do the same thing, but not all the time. I just find that I can get closer to guys who are unavailable beause I feel more comfortable since I know there is no pressure. Do you think maybe it's just because you are afraid of getting into a relationship because of the sexual intimacy? Or are you afraid of commitment, have intimacy issues? And the guys that show interest in you, how does that make you feel/how do you respond?

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Boo42069yomomma

Question for random girl and Hilleo: when you have these romantic attractions with these people..if things happen to progress in a way where they definitely "like" you and you are almost positive..do you still like them or do your romantic feelings go away?

I'm not sure I'm understanding you correctly. Are you asking if when I like someone & they like me back if I still like them?

If so, then yes, I still like them, in fact probably more so, and then we get into a relationship.

And then the "honeymoon" phase. A time (usually about a week or so) at the begening of a relationship where it's total romance, not wanting to spend one moment away from each other. (that's what I'm currently in)

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RandomGirlK

I have no idea. I always got on better with people older than me or people on the internet my whole life though, and the age was a bit of a problem when I was a teenage girl with a crush on a teacher. I always found people my own age to be annoying, and didnt even consider a romantic relationship with them. Since I have been a legal adult, the only person I have had a crush on is my female best friend, who is only into men, and two short term crushes on people who I knew online (I dont think online dating would work, considering my love of cuddles).

The only men that show interest in me arent ones that I have romantic feelings for, I dont like the way they approach me, as it seems they are too interested in sex or my boobs and stuff than who I am.

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Bellaitalia

Okay well that is great. I'm happy for you! Well for me, (this is thr closest I've ever gotten to a relationship)--me and this one guy it was obvious we liked eachother..but once we madeout and feelings were shared (happened very quickly)..I found that I either didn't like him anymore, or was so nervous/had so much anxiety that my mind forced me to not like him. I'm trying to figure out what it is with me.

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