The Attraction Vs. Desire Conflict

[Vanyel]

I've read this like 5 times. I created an account just to respond.

If you write this from the point of view of a straight guy, it is me to a T. I see an attractive woman on the street and I admire her (as briefly and tastefully as possible). I'll recognize what I like about her--her legs, her stomach, her hair. I'll wonder what it'd be like to have sex with her, the legs especially. And that's where the story ends. I feel zero desire to pursue it.

And then sometimes I wonder what I would do if this woman was naked in my bed, waiting for me. The erection would surely come because--right, she's attractive. But I know, removed from that experience, I don't want it. But I might give in. That's the thought that vexes me.

Anyhow; ceylon, Mona Lisa, Vanyel--what do you all consider yourselves, labelwise? If you choose a label.

For me, I've decided on "heteroromantic asexual".

My fantasies don't often go beyond the romantic. I love to look and appreciate, but I very rarely think of being in a sexual relationship. When I do, it's more about the intimacy it would bring and not for the sexual gratification. I've never had sex, so I don't have a basis of comparison for "good" or "bad" in bed anyway. And it doesn't interest me. If he were naked in front of me, I know for sure I would turn it down. I don't have a desire to pursue it, but I don't have a desire to take it if it were in front of my face, either. So I think I have 0% sexual attraction and 100% aesthetic and 100% romantic attractions, and I fit well as "asexual".

Your label is definitely up to you. But in my opinion, if you get an erection from an attractive woman, and you know you could/would give in if it were right in front of you, you have at least a little sexual attraction. So you could fit well into the grey-A area. If you think the attraction you feel is negligible, though, and if the "naked attractive woman in bed" situation seems too implausible without the desire to pursue it, you could also easily fit as an asexual, too. So it really is up to you :)

[Sketch Doge]

Pretty much. I rarely experience sexual attraction and when I do I've never seen it linked with sexual desire (Kind of like the way I feel about cheesecake, I love everything about it but the taste :P).

sorries major necropost but I had to reply to ratherdrinktea. This actually makes total sense and I'm not even sure if I'm being correct with myself but I totally feel the same way.