Jack Havock Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 So here's the picture. I can be aroused, when I was younger (like 13, now I'm 16) a picture of a hot girl turned me on, now I have to see naked people or at least touch myself a bit :redface: to be aroused at all. Now, that isn't that odd, but here's the thing, when I have a crush, I am not turned on by them at all. I literally go soft at the thought of them. People I dislike or I think are stupid, not a problem. I consider myself asexual because I don't understand sexual attraction, just arousal. And frankly, I'm to the point where I'm not turned on by anyone, girls in bikinis or otherwise, I have to uh, look at videos online... And honestly if it wasn't for the fact that I start getting really grumpy and horny after a three of four days I wouldn't do it, I find it waste of time. I think of my crush all the time, all day, but the longest stretch I probably go without thinking about her is when I uh... So sorry about my crude topics, let me know what ya'll opinions are 'bout it! Oh, yeah. When I've seen my crush I can go about 4 days without masturbation, while when I haven't see her for a while it becomes more frequent... Link to post Share on other sites
Moggie Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 So here's the picture. I can be aroused, when I was younger (like 13, now I'm 16) a picture of a hot girl turned me on, now I have to see naked people or at least touch myself a bit :redface: to be aroused at all. Now, that isn't that odd, but here's the thing, when I have a crush, I am not turned on by them at all. I literally go soft at the thought of them. People I dislike or I think are stupid, not a problem. I consider myself asexual because I don't understand sexual attraction, just arousal. And frankly, I'm to the point where I'm not turned on by anyone, girls in bikinis or otherwise, I have to uh, look at videos online... And honestly if it wasn't for the fact that I start getting really grumpy and horny after a three of four days I wouldn't do it, I find it waste of time. I think of my crush all the time, all day, but the longest stretch I probably go without thinking about her is when I uh... So sorry about my crude topics, let me know what ya'll opinions are 'bout it! Oh, yeah. When I've seen my crush I can go about 4 days without masturbation, while when I haven't see her for a while it becomes more frequent... I also do not understand sexual attraction, but i also do get aroused. Descriptions of sex have aroused me more than pictures (not totally sure if i've been aroused by a picture or not). I also (if i am understanding what you wrote correctly) would prefer to never want to masturbate. I know this doesn't answer your question of what it means though. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack Havock Posted March 5, 2012 Author Share Posted March 5, 2012 I also do not understand sexual attraction, but i also do get aroused. Descriptions of sex have aroused me more than pictures (not totally sure if i've been aroused by a picture or not). I also (if i am understanding what you wrote correctly) would prefer to never want to masturbate. I know this doesn't answer your question of what it means though. Well, I just want to know if I'm alone in de woyld... Link to post Share on other sites
PSUtatiana Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 To me, it sounds like you're asexual. Because asexuals DO NOT EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ATTRACTION. That would explain why when you see someone "good looking" you are not inclined/ are not fantasizing about sex. If you were demi, you'd experience sexual attraction, ONLY WITH PEOPLE WHO YOU ARE VERY EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED TO. So there you have it, you decide which one you are. I'm asexual, because I never experience it, even when I'm with people. (Define: "with" as however you'd like.) Hope it helps! Tatiana Link to post Share on other sites
Jack Havock Posted March 5, 2012 Author Share Posted March 5, 2012 To me, it sounds like you're asexual. Because asexuals DO NOT EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ATTRACTION. That would explain why when you see someone "good looking" you are not inclined/ are not fantasizing about sex. If you were demi, you'd experience sexual attraction, ONLY WITH PEOPLE WHO YOU ARE VERY EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED TO. So there you have it, you decide which one you are. I'm asexual, because I never experience it, even when I'm with people. (Define: "with" as however you'd like.) Hope it helps! Tatiana Interesting... Sounds like I'm asexual. What's the difference between Demi and grey-A? Link to post Share on other sites
Faelights Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 To me, it sounds like you're asexual. Because asexuals DO NOT EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ATTRACTION. That would explain why when you see someone "good looking" you are not inclined/ are not fantasizing about sex. If you were demi, you'd experience sexual attraction, ONLY WITH PEOPLE WHO YOU ARE VERY EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED TO. So there you have it, you decide which one you are. I'm asexual, because I never experience it, even when I'm with people. (Define: "with" as however you'd like.) Hope it helps! Tatiana Interesting... Sounds like I'm asexual. What's the difference between Demi and grey-A? Demi is a specific subcategory of grey-A. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
kochouran Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I'm that way with women, but unfortunately I don't have a good answer for whether you're asexual or some shade of grey. I identify as grey, but much of that has to do with the fact that I enjoy sex with my partner to some extent. It could be that you have a fetish for certain parts of the body or even photography/cinematography (I thought I was the latter until I realized that I don't get turned on by people in real life period even if photos of them have aroused me before). Alternatively, it could be a case of attraction and arousal being separate for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack Havock Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 I'm that way with women, but unfortunately I don't have a good answer for whether you're asexual or some shade of grey. I identify as grey, but much of that has to do with the fact that I enjoy sex with my partner to some extent. It could be that you have a fetish for certain parts of the body or even photography/cinematography (I thought I was the latter until I realized that I don't get turned on by people in real life period even if photos of them have aroused me before). Alternatively, it could be a case of attraction and arousal being separate for you. So... I'm curious about this photography/cinematography fetish thing, since I am an aspiring filmmaker and I hope to go to film school. Link to post Share on other sites
kochouran Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 It's only a theory I have about how I get aroused. I used to think I had a breast fetish, but a girl I find attractive could show me her breasts (or I could come across leaked cell phone photos of a celebrity crush) and I would not feel anything. There needs to be some artistry in the photo. It's the same thing with video. I can't stand porn, but a dramatic sex scene like the one between the two women in Chloe can get me going. I also get aroused with the idea of taking nude photos or making a sex tape, which supports my theory that I'm into the artistic process rather than the individual. Ironically, the fetishist shuts off when I'm doing burlesque photos even though I think burlesque is incredibly sexy. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack Havock Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Hmmm... Something about the aperture? Link to post Share on other sites
feministnerd Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 It's only a theory I have about how I get aroused. I used to think I had a breast fetish, but a girl I find attractive could show me her breasts (or I could come across leaked cell phone photos of a celebrity crush) and I would not feel anything. There needs to be some artistry in the photo. It's the same thing with video. I can't stand porn, but a dramatic sex scene like the one between the two women in Chloe can get me going. I also get aroused with the idea of taking nude photos or making a sex tape, which supports my theory that I'm into the artistic process rather than the individual. Ironically, the fetishist shuts off when I'm doing burlesque photos even though I think burlesque is incredibly sexy. That's kind of like how I feel. Porn gets me mildly aroused but really well written sex scenes or suggestive scenes in movies/TV shows turn me on a little. I have a very low sex drive. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack Havock Posted April 4, 2012 Author Share Posted April 4, 2012 Actually, I have a new theory. Perhaps it applies to you guys too. I am aroused by stories It would make sense! Link to post Share on other sites
red_brick_dream Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 I fear I don't have much to add to the discussion, but one thing I can tell you is that you are most definitely not alone. When I was younger, my best friend and I found something in common with one another - when we really loved somebody, the thought of sex simply did not compute - love was a turnoff. It was some detachment that we could experience arousal about a woman. Turned out he was gay. Things ended up being much more complicated for me, however. I still experience this dissonance - I consider myself a "net" asexual - I'm capable of arousal; even (though very rarely) attraction, but there seems to be a strong inverse relationship between these feelings and my closeness to the objects thereof. I still love to be mentally and physically close to those I hold dear (indeed, I seem to lack the mental partition many people have between friendly and "romantic" feelings), but sex does not compute in this context. Link to post Share on other sites
Jack Havock Posted April 8, 2012 Author Share Posted April 8, 2012 Hi Dr. Who (and fellow Vash) That sounds a lot like me. I had a friend growing up who had short hair and I had long hair (we were like 5) and everyone thought she was a boy and I was a girl. I was also obsessed with unicorns. Her parents thought I would be gay. Then, recently their daughter declared that she is pansexual and dresses like a boy. I am nerdy, but no longer girly. Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyWind Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 There are some similarities between me and you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.B Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 I can relate with some of the things you're saying,Jack. Especially when it comes to being aroused. I feel that occasionally at times, though there are also times where I feel nothing at all. Either way,whether I experience it or not, I never feel the urge to act upon it. Hope that makes sense? There are also people who believe I'm gay,even had a few "friendships" end because of their assumptions. Thought that was hilarious at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 10, 2012 Share Posted April 10, 2012 To me, it sounds like you're asexual. Because asexuals DO NOT EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ATTRACTION. Tatiana WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION THEN? Link to post Share on other sites
Madame Butterfly Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 I think what you guys have been saying about photography/cinematography kink is all very interesting. I don't wach porn (the extremely graphic visual content between 2 strangers grosses me out, I think) however, like some of you have mentioned, I do occasionally get aroused from watching a really well-depicted sex scene in a movie or something. I don't know if it has to do with the artistry involved (I'm kind of obsessed with things like camera angles and lighting in film and photos, heh) or the fact that it's presumably two characters that I just spent a couple hours getting to know, learning to empathize with them. I really like your 'aroused by stories' idea, Jack. Because even though I don't find watching porn arousing, I do get occasionally aroused from reading it. That is to say, I sometimes read porny fanfic - it's like comfort food after a bad day, ha But it's always a story about characters I am familiar with, with insecurities and problems that I can identify with. It's really the drama and the relationship between the characters that I find appealing - so I wonder if maybe your story kink theory has more than a little merit to it :) Link to post Share on other sites
Jack Havock Posted April 11, 2012 Author Share Posted April 11, 2012 Yeah, I read the stuff instead some times, and it has the same effect as some visual. I actually generally watch the set up and then skip to few parts. If there is no set up I don't watch. and, yes it is the character relationships I find a turn on. Link to post Share on other sites
kochouran Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I really like your 'aroused by stories' idea, Jack. Because even though I don't find watching porn arousing, I do get occasionally aroused from reading it. That is to say, I sometimes read porny fanfic - it's like comfort food after a bad day, ha But it's always a story about characters I am familiar with, with insecurities and problems that I can identify with. It's really the drama and the relationship between the characters that I find appealing - so I wonder if maybe your story kink theory has more than a little merit to it :) I've been thinking the same thing. There's the familiarity of the characters, but I am also into the creative process. The TMI reason for this conclusion: I find that I get into sex more if I start writing a scene in my head as I'm doing it. Maybe I just need to have my mind engaged by something since sex doesn't hold my attention for very long at times. Link to post Share on other sites
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