Question for friends/family about coming out

[Moosh]

Basically what I want to know is, if someone you know has come out to you as asexual, did you appreciate that, or do you feel more like "okay, you're asexual, why are you telling me?".

I'm considering coming out at the moment, and I'm not sure whether it's really necessary. I've been out as gay for years (because I'm homoromantic and only recently realised I'm asexual) and I'm not sure whether the realisation that not having sexual desire actually has a name, whilst it matters to me, really matters that much to my friends and family.

I just picture talking to my parents or whoever and saying "well, I'm still attracted to men in a romantic way, but I don't want to have sex" and them thinking "okay, how does that change things from my point of view?".

So yeah, I guess I'm asking as people who have been come out to, what was that like? Did it help anything, or change anything? Do you feel it's important?

[Olivier]

The only person who's ever come out to me as asexual is my wife, so that really DID change things from my point of view, and it was important.

It's a bit hard to say for others. Given that I'm the partner of an (not out to the world) asexual, and know no other out asexuals, I'd be interested if someone I knew came out, but that might just be a result of my particular circumstances.

[Guest]

Agreed with Olivier. I've never had someone I wasn't having sex with tell me they're asexual. Honestly, I'd think it was a little weird/ hilarious if someone came out to me randomly as asexual. If we were talking about sex and stuff and someone mentioned "hey, I don't want to have sex", that'd be an interesting conversation.

The only time I ever come out (as gay) is when it happens naturally (if the sex of my partner and/or existence of my partner comes up). The only time I bring it up on my own is in job interviews. While I realize that employers aren't supposed to discriminate, I'd far prefer to lay my cards out on the table and say "hey, if this is a homophobic environment, its probably best for both of us if I don't work here".