Anyone ever hear of a lithromantic or identify as one?

[Josiec]

This is exactly how I am like in theory I would enjoy being in a relationship but when it actually happens i just feel so uncomfortable and lose interest in the person

[Erlqueen]

I keep scrolling through those lithro threads in the urge to find a reply to this whole thing. To find a solution, a simple explanation that takes away the confusion everyone including me seems to have about this topic. Just a simple explanation!

Like in a school, when the fire alarm goes off, the teacher just claps her hands and shouts "everyone calm down its just a fire drill!" And the little kids understanding to now sort this thing they are experiencing as a fire drill and nothing to be scared about. No mythical explanation for the sirenes going off needed.

Like, couldn't there just be an explanation for us? Like we are aromantics with a hell lot amount of romantical fantasies? Something like that?

And then I realize: it might be lithro. That might be the explanation.

[Sutoriku]

I think I might operate somewhere on the lith scale - I can fantasize all I want about relationships, but the second someone shows interest in me I usually feel suffocated.

[KendraPM]

I fall under the lithoromantic term. I'm frayromantic (a type of lithoromantic where the romantic feelings fade over a short period of time as opposed to dissappearing the moment the feelings are rucuporated.) For me, it's between two and three months from the time that they began showing an interest back that my feelings will dissappear. Until they show an interest, my feelings will continue sometimes even for years. I've realized that for me it's tied to a lack of specific personality traits. When the person lacks those, my feelings will not last.

I really dislike being this way. It's hard to not persue a relationship when I develope a crush. And when I realize they like me back, it's even harder. But I know that if I do, I'll end up hurting them because my feelings won't last and I'll grow resentful of their feelings for me. But at the same time, there's that voice in the back of my head going "maybe this time it'll be different."

[19ace91]

Yep thats exactly how I am. I want them to like me back but not tell me in any way--the second I think they REALLY like me and they want more--nope..I get turned off and don't even want to be near them. I feel like I'm about to throw up when I find out someone likes me that much in that way. It's so strange but that's just me.

That's me too! Thought I was just afraid of relationships, and therefore felt that way. But it's the other way around. I am uncomfortable with romantic relationships because I am lithromantic.

[Taybg]

Yes I know what Lithromantic is and I do identify myself as one, although in my case I am also Quoiromantic, (meaning that I can not identify the difference between friendship and love) but in the rare case that I do decide I love them, I usually end up refusing them if they return the feelings. So I can definitely tell you that Lithromanticism is real, although most people I have met don't understand how it is possible.

[Zectarash]

I've heard of lithromantic before. Interestingly, I identify as recipromantic, which is basically the opposite: I only feel attraction if I think the other person is attracted to me. What happens when a lithromantic gets a crush on a recipromantic is not something I want to find out personally...

[ChillaKilla]

I guess I could call myself that, but I prefer aro because of how those feelings go away fast (and I know deep down that I would never pursue it/ actively maintain my feelings) so I just call myself aro for sake of accuracy and simplicity.

[Moon-Lit]

I fall under the lithoromantic term. I'm frayromantic (a type of lithoromantic where the romantic feelings fade over a short period of time as opposed to dissappearing the moment the feelings are rucuporated.) For me, it's between two and three months from the time that they began showing an interest back that my feelings will dissappear. Until they show an interest, my feelings will continue sometimes even for years. I've realized that for me it's tied to a lack of specific personality traits. When the person lacks those, my feelings will not last.

I really dislike being this way. It's hard to not persue a relationship when I develope a crush. And when I realize they like me back, it's even harder. But I know that if I do, I'll end up hurting them because my feelings won't last and I'll grow resentful of their feelings for me. But at the same time, there's that voice in the back of my head going "maybe this time it'll be different."

omg this is soooo me in everyway!!! i cant even question it anymore. like i can only think of one exception to this but it turned out she was just using me so she never actually loved me at which point its not really an exception cause she nurtured my feelings without actually ever reciprocating so my feelings never actually died but in fact grew. Like i think its official im lithromantic/frayromantic

[Linati]

I've recently begun identifying as lithro. I was a very confused person before I just googled "I like someone but I don't want to date them" haha.

I think there are different aspects of lithromanticism as well. Some people get repulsed by other's reciprocated feelings. Some people are okay with the reciprocated feelings. And there are a bunch of inbetweens.

For me, I get squishes (sometimes even crushes) (regardless of gender even though I'm homosexual) and most of the times the feelings end up going away, but there is this one boy who I've had a squish/crush on for three years now I think. I have had dreams of sensual things like kissing and him just being there but I don't want any of that to really happen.

I do just want a queerplatonic relationship with a female however.

[nessuno]

I am new to this website and new to identifying myself, but after years of wondering "What is wrong with me" I have finally found an answer. Unfortunately, it is not the answer I had hoped for. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with lithromanticism, but everything in my life is already so complicated, I wish at least this aspect could be simple. People used to think I was a lesbian because I've never had a boyfriend or been with anyone, but in reality it was just I had no desire for anyone. I get crushes a lot l and I will fantasize about the person just like anyone else. But the second they begin to show an interest in me, every single aspect I liked about them I suddenly hate. "He's so mature for his age" turns to "He's boring and actually childish". Sometimes I will like a guy, they will show interest, I will stop liking them, they'll stop showing interest, and then I'll like them again! It is bizarre. I just get so uncomfortable by the thought that there's someone thinking about me that way. I absolutely hate when guys compliment my looks, I just instantly get annoyed. I have a guy friend that likes me, and once I started realizing this I started to hate him. Now as soon as he walks into the room I get a bad attitude. I have started to lust over guys who I now know cannot like me -- ones in relationships, older men, etc. I prefer to just live in a fantasy world, I guess, because the idea of being intimate with a guy or a guy liking me just grosses me out. I feel hopeless at this point...all this time I was reassured that maybe this issue would fade with age, or if I treated my social anxiety/depression. But now I know its just who

[UndeadWeapon]

The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that I am lithromantic through and through.

My romantic feelings come and go in waves. For weeks at a time I can be so in love with a person, so romantically attracted to them, so convinced that my life won't be complete without them (okay that's a slight exaggeration, but you get my point). Either they are aware of this attraction or they're not; it doesn't make a difference. There always comes a point at which my feelings begin to disintegrate, or just drop off entirely. If my feelings are never reciprocated, I know I'll eventually get over it and return to a state of not caring. If they are reciprocated, panic follows close behind. The feelings vanish instantaneously.

For the past month I've been swimming in romantic feelings for a particular person, who I've sort of been in love with for two years now. The difference this time, though, is that I actually admitted my feelings to him. And I explained my incapability of handling romantic relationships. I've been so hopeful that we could make it work somehow. But here it is, a month later, and I feel that attraction waning yet again. I'm beginning to think staying single is the better option, and getting involved with this person would only bring frustration, misunderstandings, and pain. Plus, I get the idea that he's not prepared to deal with this emotionally confused mess of a girl who sometimes feels romantic and sometimes not, oh and she's asexual, to top it all off. I can't blame him; why would he want me? I think I'm already mentally distancing myself from the idea of him because deep down, I know we're not ever going to work. Not with him being romantic and sexual and me being... me.

I've got to say, the constant up-and-down motion of my romantic interest in people makes me feel like more of a robot than a human sometimes. How I can be so passionately interested in someone one day, to feeling absolutely nothing about them the next? Do any other lithromantics struggle with guilt? I don't know why I am this way, and I just wish I could be either totally romantic or totally aromantic and spare myself, and others, the trouble.

/rant

This is very similar to how I feel. I haven't felt the guilt in every relationship/crush, as most of my boyfriends sort of ghosted me after a couple of months anyway, but my ex was in love with me and I felt so bad I couldn't feel anything back for him.

[Guest]

I'm on mobile so no green post today : )

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Jayce, A/Romantic orientations moderator.