emeraldimp Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 Do you feel its possible for someone to become asexual? Yep :D But I think it prolly doesn't happen very frequently... (Warning: I've been wrong in the past ) Link to post Share on other sites
ogbg Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 Phht, sure, why not? Sexuality is a fickle thing! lol But as for older people not having sex - I just saw a huge article in The Globe and Mail about an elderly woman who's been sleeping around like crazy to make up for all her celibate years. She even made a book about it! :x Ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
orderinchaos Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 another interesting question is about what I call "sexual flickers"... which a couple of other guys I've talked to on here sometimes get, and I used to at some point. seems to happen mainly at about that 16-18 age range and some asexual guys do experience some direct sexual interest which waxes and wanes. in my case it pretty much completely dissipated after that. then again, it could be just the sexual world fucking with our minds and we get stronger and deal with it as we age. I don't know. :/ but it did seem very real at the time. (afterthought) I didn't mean to sound at all sexist in writing this - I'd say most of my AVEN friends are female! But it's just I'd only noticed this phenomenon in talking with the guys, and in myself, which was why I stressed guys so heavily. Link to post Share on other sites
Righteous Babe Posted June 9, 2003 Share Posted June 9, 2003 Yes. It was a terrible experience which I do not wish to repeat. :oops: Fortunately for me, I broke up with her...my current girlfriend understands my non-interest in sex. In fact she thinks she's had too much of it recently so she's happy not to! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Niceness. Hehe does she know about this site too? :) Link to post Share on other sites
Shadow Posted June 11, 2003 Share Posted June 11, 2003 Pete wrote: And of course I have my own thoughts, but I LOVE reading Shadow's answers. So I'm wondering what her thoughts may be. Thanks, Pete! :D In this case I agree with the others who posted answers to your question... I think it's possible for your sexuality to change over the course of your life, and I think it makes sense to understand yourself as you are, not as you were. So, if you used to be sexually attracted to people and now you just aren't anymore, then sure, it makes sense to say you've "become asexual." 'Course, like you said, maybe people stop worrying about this sort of thing after the first 60 years or so. :) -Shadow Link to post Share on other sites
Orpheus Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Okay, don't anyone here try and lynch me now, but um... :oops: well, my girlfriend and I did finaly have sex. SO here's my thoughts on it, but you have to realy read into this. First off, we've known eachother since High School, dated for a year, broke up, and got back togethe, you all know the story. She realy wanted to do this beacause, as many of you know, I'll be moving to Japan soon and it will be a year or more before we can see eachother again. So anyway, the sex. To be perfectly honest, it was not even close to being as disgusting as I had thought it would be, and on that same note, it's real and I mean REAL over played on TV and movies. I don't regret it at all, but there's no way on earth that sex is what it's all about. The only reason, and I mean only reason, I enjoyed it was because of how I feel about this girl. Had it been with anyone else, wouldn't have been worth it. I honestly didn't realize that anything was going on till she said somthing to me, that was kind of weird. Well, those are my thoughts on that. Later. Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 :o :shock: :? :| well, now. Link to post Share on other sites
ogbg Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Oi :shock: I'm floored!! Orpheus did it!! Maybe I expected that to happen with some of the newbies, but... Orpheus?! One of the most well-known members of AVEN?! Woah!! (falls right off her chair) Ah well, glad it was a good experience for you :) I'd... er... say more, but this is a bit awkward and unexpected and I'm at a complete loss for words, so... ah... well... (stares stupidly at the computer screen for a couple of moments, then gives up and clicks "Submit") Congrats!! :o You tongue-tied Oogie!! Link to post Share on other sites
Orpheus Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 You think you're at a lose for words, I almost didn't tell you guys, but you're like family too me and I figured you'd all want to know what it was like for me. Hope I don't get to much hate mail. Does this mean I have to pass on the "too a-sexy" to somone else? Link to post Share on other sites
Shadow Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 OK if I give you a cyberhug, Orpheus? *hug* You are still yourself, even post-sex. It was brave of you to post something truthful that you were afraid might shock and alienate some people. I expect everyone will still like you for who you are! Your experience of sex sounds a lot like mine. Love, Shadow Link to post Share on other sites
Skiddaloxx Posted July 14, 2003 Author Share Posted July 14, 2003 Orpheus is no virgin anymore? *falling down from skyscraper* It's really strange, because when i first got here, i noticed you as the most active member, and you have always been such a cool guy, taking asexuality as the most normal thing in the world. I don't know why i feel a pinch of dissapointment now. Maybe because there is still a part inside of myself which thinks that sex is great and i want to have it someday. I don't know. Shall i congratulate you or feel shocked now? Do u still think u r asexual after ur sex xp? Skiddaloxx *slowly climbing on top of the skyscraper again* Link to post Share on other sites
Skiddaloxx Posted July 14, 2003 Author Share Posted July 14, 2003 Orpheus, ooops, i didn't mean it offensive. Sorry! HEy, since when are you back with your gf again? I didn't know that!! Whatever you do, it's probably the right thing! Keep up the good vibe and shake! 8) Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Well, first of all I need to put down a shocked emoticon, because it seems like something we are all obligated to do after reading that. :shock: There, now that that's out of the way I can move on to the second thing: If it really felt like the right thing to do, then it was the right thing to do. You should not feel any shame whatsoever (and I don't think you are :)) And as others have said before me, you are still a part of our little online family. Hey, now when you say you don't want to have sex with anyone and someone pitches you the "Well, how do you know unless you've tried?" line, you will be able to verbally slap them in the face hehe. Not that it beats a real physical slap in the face, but it's a thought :P Will you have Internet access in Japan? Link to post Share on other sites
bard of aven Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 Hey, Orpheus. I thought I saw something on the news the other day about Meridien, Mississippi. Something about a mass shooting. I hope the two events are not related. :o First the Navy. Then the leather. Then the bike. Now this. Lots of new experiences. Thanks for sharing this with the rest of us. I don't imagine that was easy. I hope you will hang out and keep posting as you grow into what you are becoming. But it does put me in mind of a really bad joke (which I may hae already told in another thread): How do you make extra-virgin olive oil? From olives that never did it twice. Ok. So I have an inappropriate sense of humor. We knew that. But you are part of the soul and folklore of this place. Hope you continue to participate and let us know where and how life takes you from here. boa Link to post Share on other sites
imvegan Posted July 14, 2003 Share Posted July 14, 2003 In order to fuck, a man has to get hard, which only happens when he is aroused. A man who is not hard, cannot fuck! It's not possible technically. Do you agree? There are quite a few ways people can have sex without the presence of an erect penis. For sexual people who engage in sexual activities in the absence of an erect penis, those activities do constitute having sex, just as much as do sexual activities that *do* involve an erect penis. When I was a teenager being "counseled" about my options as an intersexed person, without a penis, who was also being counseled to live as a male, I was given rather more information than I wanted about how I could have a satisfying sex life without any penis at all, erect or otherwise. I wasn't interested in doing any of the things I was told about, because in the absence of any sexual attraction, arousal, or sensation, there was absolutely no reason to want to do them. But if I *had* wanted to have sex for some reason, I could have gone through some set of motions to do it, even without a penis. And if I would be capable of doing that without any penis at all, then certainly a man who has a penis would be capable of engaging in sex acts without an erection. There are also lots of sexual men who are chronically impotent, and are able to have fulfilling sex lives anyway. So, no, I do not agree with your premise. Asexual men are not immune to the ability to go along with sexual acts even if it's contrary to their personal inclination. I do agree that it seems strange to hear about asexual people having sex. It also seems strange to me to hear about gay people having heterosexual relationships. I know it happens, and I have an intellectual understanding of why it happens, but it doesn't feel natural or "right" to me. It is definitely *possible*, though, if someone is determined to do it. As to the original question in this thread: No, I have never had sex. This has been a source of some dismay to assorted professionals who were trying to facilitate my psychosexual adjustment, but that's their problem. :) Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 Well, I woulda never read this if someone hadnt pointed it out to me because I usually stay away from this thread. Orpheus: A bit surprised, a bit amused, but after everything you're still you. Orpheus is still Orpheus. Kind of like when people come out as gay and then (hopeully) people are like "you're still you, we just know one more thing about you now." Anyway..wouldn't have expected it, but if it makes you happy, then go for it. *joins oogie and makes a hasty retreat from the sex thread* lol Kate Link to post Share on other sites
VivreEstEsperer Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 Oh..and I saw that thing on the news about Meridien, too. they said it was race related I think. only heard like 10 seconds. Then I heard something else about Meridien too but I can't remember what it was! *sigh* but the important thing is that I thought of you both times :) Oh, I think the second thing was the Meridien country station advertising for a DJ. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
Legolas Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 NEVER They'll have to drug me and beat me and tie me down in order to get me to have sex and in the process of them doing that they will suffer some horrible permanent damage to their bodies cause when i am cornered i put up quite a fight. Well aaaaaaaanyway regarding what skinaloxx said A man CAN get an errection sometiems even out of the blue and sometimes if touched down there etc which does NOT mean he wants to have sex. It is as involuntary as closing your eyes when a bright light is shined on them and it does NOT mean you want to engage in sexual activities with the stimuli. At soem point later in my life and IF my views change i MAY try it. Who knows? Well at least i gotta see what all the fucken fuss is all about. But the way it stands now i have neither the interest nor the time for such activities and besides Battlefield 1942 is a much better way of spending the night. When that fails u got Commercialfree TV (thank God for digital cable) and then there is weed and alcohol. So party on and always remember that it all starts with "Hmm i need a beer" Alex :D Link to post Share on other sites
aury Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 And as others have said before me, you are still a part of our little online family. Hey, now when you say you don't want to have sex with anyone and someone pitches you the "Well, how do you know unless you've tried?" line, you will be able to verbally slap them in the face hehe. Not that it beats a real physical slap in the face, but it's a thought anyone who says that to me in person gets a crack to the jaw. glad it went well for you, orpheus. although it kind of feels like the initial reaction you get when you find out that a vegetarian has reverted to eating meat. :? *guzzles down vodka & soda* Link to post Share on other sites
Legolas Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 Orpheus you have gone to the dark side man. I didn't mention anything in my first thread but DAMN man what happened? I mean...how.......whe....gah. Well bro I hope life will be good to you as it has been thus far and even if you stick to the path of the SITH (heh) don't forget about us and drop in every once in a while man. I would write more but I am stoned my eyes have dried out and I forgot to blink while typing this message. *salute* Alex Link to post Share on other sites
Skiddaloxx Posted July 15, 2003 Author Share Posted July 15, 2003 To Imvegan and Legolas: I half-agree. I agree because i know one can get errect without being sexually aroused (I'm a MAN, ok?!?!) but the thing is....would you have to wait for such a coincidence to get to have sex? I mean in a way i get the impression that you think that asexuality is a conscious decision, and you intentionally stay away from sex. I don't stay away from it, but sex is like locked up behind a door to me. Sometimes i have an urge to try to find the key, at other times i enjoy the other rooms of life so much that i don't need to find the sexdoorkey. back to the orpheus topic: I have this horrible horror....In a way i feel scared, that everyone here is gonna have sex eventually, be in a relationship just like everyone else and leave. And then i will be the only one left here. Alone in AVEN. Sorry. A bit melodramatic at the moment. :? Link to post Share on other sites
Orpheus Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 What's all this talk of me liking it? I ssaid I didn't not like it, but I didn't like it all that much. I'd just as soon it never happened. Not only did I thow out the old Virgin card, which I played with a smile, I also killed 8 hours of my life and I want em back! DO you know how much pool I could shoot in 8 hours? But no, I didn't shoot pool, I was too busy having sex! Oh well, it made her happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Gorax Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 Oh, okay :oops: Willing to have sex only to make the one you care about happy . . . A few people here have done this I think. Hi Shadow ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
whirlygirl Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 In order to fuck, a man has to get hard, which only happens when he is aroused. A man who is not hard, cannot fuck! It's not possible technically. Do you agree? There are quite a few ways people can have sex without the presence of an erect penis. For sexual people who engage in sexual activities in the absence of an erect penis, those activities do constitute having sex, just as much as do sexual activities that *do* involve an erect penis. When I was a teenager being "counseled" about my options as an intersexed person, without a penis, who was also being counseled to live as a male, I was given rather more information than I wanted about how I could have a satisfying sex life without any penis at all, erect or otherwise. I wasn't interested in doing any of the things I was told about, because in the absence of any sexual attraction, arousal, or sensation, there was absolutely no reason to want to do them. But if I *had* wanted to have sex for some reason, I could have gone through some set of motions to do it, even without a penis. And if I would be capable of doing that without any penis at all, then certainly a man who has a penis would be capable of engaging in sex acts without an erection. There are also lots of sexual men who are chronically impotent, and are able to have fulfilling sex lives anyway. So, no, I do not agree with your premise. Asexual men are not immune to the ability to go along with sexual acts even if it's contrary to their personal inclination. I do agree that it seems strange to hear about asexual people having sex. It also seems strange to me to hear about gay people having heterosexual relationships. I know it happens, and I have an intellectual understanding of why it happens, but it doesn't feel natural or "right" to me. It is definitely *possible*, though, if someone is determined to do it. As to the original question in this thread: No, I have never had sex. This has been a source of some dismay to assorted professionals who were trying to facilitate my psychosexual adjustment, but that's their problem. :) imvegan, i can relate a little, i haven't posted anything at all about my realignment experiences... Link to post Share on other sites
Skiddaloxx Posted July 15, 2003 Author Share Posted July 15, 2003 8 HOURS????????????? :shock: Link to post Share on other sites
whirlygirl Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 To Imvegan and Legolas:I half-agree. I agree because i know one can get errect without being sexually aroused (I'm a MAN, ok?!?!) but the thing is....would you have to wait for such a coincidence to get to have sex? I mean in a way i get the impression that you think that asexuality is a conscious decision, and you intentionally stay away from sex. I don't stay away from it, but sex is like locked up behind a door to me. Sometimes i have an urge to try to find the key, at other times i enjoy the other rooms of life so much that i don't need to find the sexdoorkey. back to the orpheus topic: I have this horrible horror....In a way i feel scared, that everyone here is gonna have sex eventually, be in a relationship just like everyone else and leave. And then i will be the only one left here. Alone in AVEN. Sorry. A bit melodramatic at the moment. :? uh eh???????? Link to post Share on other sites
Skiddaloxx Posted July 15, 2003 Author Share Posted July 15, 2003 What? Whirlygirl, what?!?!?! *cringes&dies* Umm....ehh.....chewing gum? :lol: :oops: RUNS! Link to post Share on other sites
whirlygirl Posted July 15, 2003 Share Posted July 15, 2003 What? Whirlygirl, what?!?!?! *cringes&dies*Umm....ehh.....chewing gum? :lol: :oops: RUNS! about my ex-partner who was m2f and made a mistake? Link to post Share on other sites
Skiddaloxx Posted July 15, 2003 Author Share Posted July 15, 2003 *chewing gum* Huh???? Wow, what a communication obstacle! *applause* ;) Link to post Share on other sites
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