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newgirl
On 3/9/2019 at 6:34 AM, faraday☘ said:

The public transit system sucks where I am.  You cannot get around at all!!  Better off biking or walking.  I can drive, but my license is restricted.  For instance I cannot take on passengers, drive heavy highways, and turn left without some traffic control. 

How  funny! I'm  getting ready to make an eye appointment to see if I can drive a car/Learner permit as a monocular  driver.  My left eye  vision is "good" but my right eye vision is poor . Right now, I'm fine with  restrictive licenses and wearing bioptic glasses. I want to  finally learn now to drive at 48 years old sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad. I want to  go on a road trip.

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Traveler40

This is my first post in “older asexuals”. While I may only be part of that phrase, I’d felt like I was neither. Then, I answered a question in Off A last night and it smacked me between the eyes: I’m way too old to be answering the teen/twenty something poll type questions.  My God, I’m thankful for my age due to perspective, but am suddenly feeling it as I never have before.  Double edged sword that one.  So, while not asexual, apparently I *am* older...

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faraday☘
On 3/9/2019 at 8:52 AM, argar said:

Does the place offer services like either Uber or Lyft?

Yes, but very limited.  When you use the app, it more common not to get a response.   Unless you arrange ahead of time, it's not worth it.

 

On 3/9/2019 at 1:54 PM, Skycaptain said:

@faraday☘, at least you have a restricted license. In Britain they'd just say eyesight too bad, no driving 

Agreed!  I'm thankful, I'm allowed a restrictive license.  At least I have the independence to get around on my own.  If that ever gets taken away, I'd move to a city where I could walk or have easy access to public transport.  

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faraday☘

@Traveler40 Welcome to the older aces!!

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grey goose

Been a while since I posted here, nice to see new people keep trickling in. :-)  I'm fighting a cold today so internet has been my companion. LOL And so I'm off to surf the web some more. Later!!! 8)

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faraday☘

Hi there!  I'm off and on here too.  

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Flowerpotted

Hello I’m new. I’m in my 40s and a mother. Only came to the realisation recently who I am. Such a relief to be honest. I’m divorced. Had no relationship since as I have no interest. I would say I’m definitely grey, hetero, I don’t think I’m aromantic as I’m open to a relationship if it happened and was the right type of man (who understood).  But I’m still getting to know the diversity of this orientation, and therefore still learning what all the words mean.

 

I am in Australia. I’m very fit and running I think has been my sanity over the last few years, trying to work out why I’m different. I haven’t come out as such. Actually planning on talking to my best friend this weekend. She will be the first to know.

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Skycaptain

@Flowerpotted, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 

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grey goose
On 4/3/2019 at 3:38 PM, Flowerpotted said:

Hello I’m new. I’m in my 40s and a mother. Only came to the realisation recently who I am. Such a relief to be honest. I’m divorced. Had no relationship since as I have no interest. I would say I’m definitely grey, hetero, I don’t think I’m aromantic as I’m open to a relationship if it happened and was the right type of man (who understood).  But I’m still getting to know the diversity of this orientation, and therefore still learning what all the words mean.

 

I am in Australia. I’m very fit and running I think has been my sanity over the last few years, trying to work out why I’m different. I haven’t come out as such. Actually planning on talking to my best friend this weekend. She will be the first to know.

Welcome from the states. I've known about other aces for almost a year now and it's been a wild ride of self discovery and loss of ignorance. Understand that there is a big spectrum of asexuals out there. Some like me want all the romantic actions of a normal relationship just without sex while others want no touching at all. Just an example but honestly read and see what's there and ask questions. And yes, welcome. We have cake!

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RobPal

I turned 40 a few days ago but have been struggling with the reality of being ace and aro for the last couple of years, although I always had the same thoughts in the back of my head since my initial discovery of asexuality being a real thing.

Knowing that I reached the end of my relationship story when I was 9 years old and I'll be essentially on my own until I die, has been and continues to be really difficult. Along with a couple of other things this has sent me to the edge of depression, although I don't wish to be formally diagnosed as I refuse to take any medication as it won't change the facts.

I used to be fine with being on my own, as I love my independence, however this has changed over the last two or three years. I now feel trapped in this situation as I in my heart I would love to be a Dad but reality has already decided that is extremely unlikely to happen.

I'm only posting here to vent a little rather than ask for advice, so thanks for reading.

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OldNews

@RobPal, I'll try to make this an observation rather than advice. You get to define your own lifestyle. The preconceptions of others are not important -- you can choose to live in the way that works best for you. That's just something to think about. All the best to you!

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Out of the saddle

People leave more gross stuff in bed than pets.

 Think earplugs

Food

Food

Food

Dry skin

 Pubic hair.....yuuuccckkk

  If you weren't an ace before this response you are now...lol...🤣

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SW1804

Hello all. This is my first post here. I'm 47. My husband left me the day after my birthday this month. We're going to divorce because he fell out of love with me,  and I know much if that comes down to the conflict between our sexual orientations. I want everything in a romantic relationship except sex. He wants sex. Fourteen years of him getting things his way, albeit infrequently, has been painful and distressing. Yet my sacrifice wasn't enough. Now I have to start again and I'm dissolusioned. Are there any of us in or close to Birmingham? It would be amazing to have friends who understood me for the first time in my life. 

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daveb
5 hours ago, shahw1 said:

Hello

Welcome and :cake: !

 

You could check the Meetup Mart forum. I think there are lots of meetups in the UK. :) 

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Skycaptain

@shahw1, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 

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wyrdwyrm

@RobPal - Have you considered volunteering in some kind of mentorship program? There are definitely kids out there in need of a good adult role model, and that might satisfy your parental itch a little. Or if you have any friends with kids, you can offer your time with babysitting and become an unofficial uncle.

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RobPal
On 4/28/2019 at 8:26 PM, wyrdwyrm said:

@RobPal - Have you considered volunteering in some kind of mentorship program? There are definitely kids out there in need of a good adult role model, and that might satisfy your parental itch a little. Or if you have any friends with kids, you can offer your time with babysitting and become an unofficial uncle.

Thanks for your suggestions. I have already pretty much done all of the above, and if anything it made things worse as it highlighted in bold relief what I don't have and really want.

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wyrdwyrm
On 5/6/2019 at 3:58 PM, RobPal said:

Thanks for your suggestions. I have already pretty much done all of the above, and if anything it made things worse as it highlighted in bold relief what I don't have and really want.

Aw, that sounds heartbreaking. *Hugs* I hope you find some sort of relief somehow. ❤️ 

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RobPal
16 hours ago, wyrdwyrm said:

Aw, that sounds heartbreaking. *Hugs* I hope you find some sort of relief somehow. ❤️ 

Thanks.

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Greymulkin

Wanted to chime in to say hey to all the Aces in their 40s. I am just coming into this myself and personal benefits of discovering my asexuality has far outweighed the life traumas that were also part of the equation. To avoid reposting my entire story here it is: Welcome Lounge Post. Looking forward to getting to know some the community.

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newgirl

HEARTBROKEN!

 

 

Today ,I found out from  low vision doctor that  I shouldn't fulfill  my dream and learn how to drive as monocular driver. I am heart broken. This was my last hope of reaching my dream to travel around the USA via car/van/RV.  I don't have friends , husband or boyfriend, allot of money, good reliable job but  all I ask was one thing beside good health ,I just wanted to learn how to drive to be free. I know some  people will read this and say what about  flying, greyhound or Amtrak.  The places I want to go doesn't   have an airport, bus station or train station. For 2 years, I've been trying to find driver to help me  fulfill my dream but  famous words no reliable  people. I just heartbroken

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daveb

Aw, man. That's too bad. :( 

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OldNews

@newgirl, I'm sorry to hear that. You may not be able to fulfil that dream, but I hope you find other ways to scratch that itch....

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Spotastic

@newgirl I don't know how well you would do with bike riding, but I read a news story a while back about a man from India who decided to jump on a bike and ride around the world. He used a translation app to be able to talk to people and benefitted heavily from the kindness of strangers. You could also take a train or bus to a place and bike the remaining way. Most greyhounds have bike racks iirc.

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robnrdbrd
On 5/14/2019 at 3:46 PM, Spotastic said:

@newgirl I don't know how well you would do with bike riding, but I read a news story a while back about a man from India who decided to jump on a bike and ride around the world. He used a translation app to be able to talk to people and benefitted heavily from the kindness of strangers. You could also take a train or bus to a place and bike the remaining way. Most greyhounds have bike racks iirc.

 

There's also e-bikes (and even e- quad bikes if balance is an issue), which will cost more and require charging, but won't require the physical fitness.

 

Another way to travel and live / eat for 'free' is to do a help exchange. I used helpx.net to travel around New Zealand back in 2007. Basically, you agree with the host to work for x amount of hours a day (usually half) and you live and eat with them. I spent a week each on four different farms and loved it. In each case, the hosts weren't looking for free labour either (though I imagine it helps!), but genuinely wanted to meet like-minded people and give back like people who'd helped them when they were young travelers. 

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chrysalis1975

Hi there & Happy Sunday!  I’m 44 years young and am slowly getting back on the AVEN site.  Been busy working and still working on who I am and what hobbies/activities I like to do (solo it seems).  Right now I love mysteries (reading and watching), writing prose poetry, taking photos of the outdoors, and light hiking.  Don’t know any other ACE people IRL, and after getting tired of trying to locate people of common interests for friendship, I came back online.  So...Hi & Hugs 🤗 

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argar

Welcome!!!

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Skycaptain

@chrysalis1975, welcome back 🎂 🎂 

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chrysalis1975
7 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

@chrysalis1975, welcome back 🎂 🎂 

Thank you 🙏🏿 it’s good to be back...

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darkgreen

@shahw1 Welcome to the board. I am not from Birmingham nor in the UK, but always good to have another person to communicate with who understands.

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