Jump to content
newgirl

40's

Recommended Posts

Tink20

Turned 42 today. My forties have definitely been a turning point. I broke off a 9 year relationship a year ago, round the same time I left my job of 14 years, shortly after that I met an asexual guy online & moved states away to be with him leaving my dogs behind with their dad. That relationship turned out to be a HUGE mistake as he turned out to ALSO be a narcacist, sociopath/pathological liar who was unemployed for almost a year & in another relationship at the same time. I went into detail because I tell any Ace who listens that had it not been a long distance relationship, I would have caught the red flags & never moved. But I put a TON of weight on the fact that we were both Ace, he was a good father, so it was “meant to be”. Sadly it wasn’t. I met him on a different Ace site. So now I am in the process of moving back to where I came from & literally starting from scratch. Only now, I don’t even have online to find the Ace of my dreams. I fear I’ll be alone relationship wise for who knows how long, but I’ll be getting my dogs back & that will make me very happy. They can’t fix everything, but they’ll sure try. Happy birthday to me!!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Seajules
3 minutes ago, Tink20 said:

Turned 42 today. My forties have definitely been a turning point. I broke off a 9 year relationship a year ago, round the same time I left my job of 14 years, shortly after that I met an asexual guy online & moved states away to be with him leaving my dogs behind with their dad. That relationship turned out to be a HUGE mistake as he turned out to ALSO be a narcacist, sociopath/pathological liar who was unemployed for almost a year & in another relationship at the same time. I went into detail because I tell any Ace who listens that had it not been a long distance relationship, I would have caught the red flags & never moved. But I put a TON of weight on the fact that we were both Ace, he was a good father, so it was “meant to be”. Sadly it wasn’t. I met him on a different Ace site. So now I am in the process of moving back to where I came from & literally starting from scratch. Only now, I don’t even have online to find the Ace of my dreams. I fear I’ll be alone relationship wise for who knows how long, but I’ll be getting my dogs back & that will make me very happy. They can’t fix everything, but they’ll sure try. Happy birthday to me!!

Happy birthday!  I'm glad you're getting your dogs back.  I turned 47 yesterday.  I got divorced five years ago, and lost my dogs in the divorce.  Sadly, I will never get them back, since they were technically owned by my former best friend, now my ex-husband's wife.  Yeah, it was one of those situations.  They're both hypersexual and kinky; I'm ace and sex-averse.  Really, my ex and I had no business being married, but in the religious subculture in which we grew up, there was no way to know that.

 

I sometimes think it would be nice to find someone else at the ace end of the spectrum to try a relationship again, but I also realize I'm very lonely, because I live across the country from most of my friends.  If I can ever afford to move back to SoCal, in-person interaction with them might be enough for me.  Certainly, I'm very reluctant to share my living space, not least because I need to live totally gluten-free, and I will never again share a bed with anyone.  Too many sleep disorder problems that are eased by sleeping alone--though I would consider sharing with a small dog--and far too many trust issues.

 

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience with meeting someone online and long-distance.  I don't think it's unreasonable to want to find someone, and I don't think you should totally give up on online dating, especially because it seems one of the few avenues available to aces to find each other. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao Cone

Happy birthday @Tink20! :cake: That sounds like a nightmare to live through. It's sad that there are people who are so manipulative. I worry for my friends when they go into relationships because of things like that. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tink20
19 minutes ago, Seajules said:

Happy birthday!  I'm glad you're getting your dogs back.  I turned 47 yesterday.  I got divorced five years ago, and lost my dogs in the divorce.  Sadly, I will never get them back, since they were technically owned by my former best friend, now my ex-husband's wife.  Yeah, it was one of those situations.  They're both hypersexual and kinky; I'm ace and sex-averse.  Really, my ex and I had no business being married, but in the religious subculture in which we grew up, there was no way to know that.

 

I sometimes think it would be nice to find someone else at the ace end of the spectrum to try a relationship again, but I also realize I'm very lonely, because I live across the country from most of my friends.  If I can ever afford to move back to SoCal, in-person interaction with them might be enough for me.  Certainly, I'm very reluctant to share my living space, not least because I need to live totally gluten-free, and I will never again share a bed with anyone.  Too many sleep disorder problems that are eased by sleeping alone--though I would consider sharing with a small dog--and far too many trust issues.

 

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience with meeting someone online and long-distance.  I don't think it's unreasonable to want to find someone, and I don't think you should totally give up on online dating, especially because it seems one of the few avenues available to aces to find each other. 

I think I’m open to online, but to clarify, what I’m finding online only turns out to be long distance options. I’m not willing to RE-locate again for anyone. If I found a local Ace online that I could then go have coffee with, great, I’m open to that. I’ll keep looking for that. I’m not giving up, just don’t see any local matches online on other sites (not looking for love on here) at the moment. Going to attend a meetup though when I’m done moving back to SoCal in a house of my own (also mentioned in someone’s response). Thanks for the support.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Seajules

@Tink20 Yeah, local sounds like the way to go.  I'd like to meet some local aces, just as friends, so I could interact socially with people who don't find out my situation and presume that all I need is a relationship with a "mature" man.  Unfortunately, attempts to arrange meetups of Jacksonville aces seem doomed.

 

I must admit, I envy that you're returning to SoCal.  I'm working toward having the resources to go back, but it's slow going.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Spotastic

@Tink20 I'm 36 and I've been married to a woman I met online for the last 11 years. Prior to this relationship, I was also with a woman that I met online, flew out to England (I'm in the US) to meet her in person and got told "it's not the same as the internet." Well, no shit! I thought that I wouldn't get involved with anyone online anymore after that, but things changed for me as soon as I started talking to me wife. This time I flew across the country to meet her and everything was still good. 3 months later, we were married. I totally get how internet relationships can be hit or miss, just like in-person ones, and I don't blame you for wanting to stick to local people. I was lucky with my wife.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skycaptain

@Tink20

@Seajules

 

Happy birthday and many happy returns for the day 🎂 🎂 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Blkrbbtart

For my 40s brought clarity and a realization that I shouldn't care what other people think. It's been quite liberating. I even bought a little red sports car. It also showed me I'm worth more than I was giving myself.  I've been more at peace lately and happier than I've ever been. 

Edited by Blkrbbtart
Misspell
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
moonnymph

Haven't been on here for ages and wanted to chime in and maybe meet some new people. Hello everyone!

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
newgirl

Any Aven memeber born in 1970?   Are last year of being in our 40's   2019.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tink20
2 hours ago, newgirl said:

Any Aven memeber born in 1970?   Are last year of being in our 40's   2019.

1976!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AndrewT
47 minutes ago, hara said:

Soon 39

I'm Thirty Ten this year lol

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TTWTO

I’m a ‘70 child..

 

Rowan

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
faraday☘

Welcome new folks!!  

 

I was born in 69 (a moon baby).  My last year in the 40s.  However, I'm healthier and more active than I have ever been.  

 

I've met some awesome people while traveling that I originally met online, here on AVEN.  That was fun.  I don't have much opportunities to meet local Aces.  

 

I don't think I could share a bed with someone.  Dogs on the other hand, sure.  Cats too!:lol: 

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
argar

Ha ha!!

 

I share a bed with a dog.

 

Until I hog the covers and they go to their bed. Lol

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Muledeer

No animals in my bed!  I've treated enough cases of mange, lice and fleas.   Actually, only a few episodes of infestations, but enough that I will keep my bed to myself.  I like the dog to sleep beside my bed, just not in or on it.  Sharing a bed with another human is also very unsettling to me, unless it means one of us would sleep on the floor otherwise.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skycaptain

I share my bed with the cats, I had no choice in the matter :P

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AndrewT
2 hours ago, Skycaptain said:

I share my bed with the cats, I had no choice in the matter :P

Your cats share their bed with you! Be greatful they do not make you sleep on the floor 😸

Edited by AndrewT
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Spotastic

I used to think it would be awkward sharing a bed with someone, but after being married 11 years, it would be more awkward to sleep without her. Also, my little dog is "queen of blanket mountain" and will always try to get most of the covers. For such a tiny dog, she can take up a lot of room. :lol:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
daveb

I don't have any pets or partner at this time. When I did have a cat he sometimes shared my bed (and in colder weather liked to get under the covers), but sometimes I toss and turn too much and he would go sleep elsewhere. I'm used to sleeping alone and generally prefer it (although, like my old cat, weather conditions might affect my desire to sleep alone or not if I had a partner).

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
faraday☘

My current living arrangements prevent me from sharing a bed with my dogs and cats.  I sleep in a loft, so my dogs cannot climb the ladder safety.  They have the room all to themselves.  They each have a giant beds and seem to be happy.  I have to keep the door to my bedroom shut to keep the cats out.  One of my cats gets really really excited when I wake.  He so happy to be fed that he pees.  So keeping out of my room prevents him from peeing on the spot.  Thus, I sleep alone.  However, when I'm chilling on the couch, it is an opportunity for a snuggle session. I always have 3 dogs pressed up against me and 2 cats shove their way amongst the menagerie.:lol:

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
grey goose

I sleep with my Dobergirl but have no issue with sharing my bed with a human female companion as long as they can deal with my cuddling and love of backrubs. LOL  

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
newgirl
On 1/29/2019 at 6:56 PM, faraday☘ said:

Welcome new folks!!  

 

I was born in 69 (a moon baby).  My last year in the 40s.  However, I'm healthier and more active than I have ever been.  

 

I've met some awesome people while traveling that I originally met online, here on AVEN.  That was fun.  I don't have much opportunities to meet local Aces.  

 

I don't think I could share a bed with someone.  Dogs on the other hand, sure.  Cats too!:lol: 

Oh man!!!!!!!!!!!! this is what I want to do in  the future car travel  but can't ( (dealing with visual impairment ) 

 

"I've met some awesome people while traveling that I originally met online, here on AVEN.  That was fun.  I don't have much opportunities to meet local Aces.  "

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
faraday☘

I'm visually impaired too.  If we meet, I guess we'll have to take the bus or train :lol:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
TAF
On 1/29/2019 at 8:56 PM, faraday☘ said:

Welcome new folks!!  

 

I was born in 69 (a moon baby).  My last year in the 40s.  However, I'm healthier and more active than I have ever been.  

 

I've met some awesome people while traveling that I originally met online, here on AVEN.  That was fun.  I don't have much opportunities to meet local Aces.  

 

I don't think I could share a bed with someone.  Dogs on the other hand, sure.  Cats too!:lol: 

New here. 45 and totally get the not sharing a bed with someone. Cats yes, people no. I have newly come to understand that I have been asexual all of my life. Only had sex when I had to. I have two beautiful daughters so it wasn't a total waste of time! My youngest is pansexual and has helped me to better understand myself. At 45, I am happy with who and where I am. I enjoy spending time with friends and family but am also an introvert so I crave alone time to recharge. Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
newgirl
On 2/15/2019 at 5:52 AM, faraday☘ said:

I'm visually impaired too.  If we meet, I guess we'll have to take the bus or train :lol:

How do you travel within   USA? Do you train or bus travel?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
faraday☘

The public transit system sucks where I am.  You cannot get around at all!!  Better off biking or walking.  I can drive, but my license is restricted.  For instance I cannot take on passengers, drive heavy highways, and turn left without some traffic control. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
argar

Does the place offer services like either Uber or Lyft?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Skycaptain

@faraday☘, at least you have a restricted license. In Britain they'd just say eyesight too bad, no driving 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...