40's

[Asexy Librarian]

36 minutes ago, argar said:

Bingo feels right. Bridge is at least a decade away still 😄

[argar]

[bluedragonwings]

So I’m ready for a new body. Although to be fair I’ve wanted that for years

[L22]

Hi,

I just told my mother that I think I'm asexual.  I'm 41 and have only ever had 2 relationships.  In neither one did I have a desire for sex. We made out, but that's it.

I guess I'm just looking for some guidance and reassurance that I'm right in what I'm thinking.  This is all very new to me. 

[argar]

Welcome to AVEN.

 

I suggest you explore all the various threads to come to terms to what you think might be what you feel will work for you.

 

Key point, what will work for you.

 

You are perfectly the person you are if you feel that certain relationships don't work for you. 

 

But I hope you do discover what will work for you.

 

Hmm, I have used work for you just a bit too much here. Lol

 

Honestly though, being in a relationship, not in a relationship, or a relationship with no sex is something you will need to explore on your own to know what will make you happy.

 

Just my opinion though.

 

Have a beautiful day. 

[Snao Cone]

1 hour ago, LA2 said:

Hi,

I just told my mother that I think I'm asexual.  I'm 41 and have only ever had 2 relationships.  In neither one did I have a desire for sex. We made out, but that's it.

I guess I'm just looking for some guidance and reassurance that I'm right in what I'm thinking.  This is all very new to me. 

If you did not feel like moving past the making out stage because it just didn't appeal to you, and you've gotten this far in life without feeling the need or motivation to pursue relationships that do satisfy you sexually...that seems pretty clearly asexual to me. I also encourage you to browse through the rest of the forums to read about other people's experiences and share your own if you want. I think you'll find it very reassuring, as there are a lot of people with similar stories.  

[Asexy Librarian]

On 6/1/2025 at 12:54 PM, bluedragonwings said:

So I’m ready for a new body. Although to be fair I’ve wanted that for years

I wouldn’t mind a reset. Thankfully I’m pretty fit, but I do sometimes miss the boundless energy I had in my 20’s. 

[Asexy Librarian]

1 hour ago, LA2 said:

Hi,

I just told my mother that I think I'm asexual.  I'm 41 and have only ever had 2 relationships.  In neither one did I have a desire for sex. We made out, but that's it.

I guess I'm just looking for some guidance and reassurance that I'm right in what I'm thinking.  This is all very new to me. 

Welcome to AVEN. Follow what feels right to you. Don’t try to conform to any labels, but if a label fits the way you feel, great. Above all, hopefully you can learn to be comfortable with how you feel. The term “asexual” can help to describe and understand it, but it won’t solve any problems. 

[argar]

[daveb]

2 hours ago, Asexy Librarian said:

Welcome to AVEN. Follow what feels right to you. Don’t try to conform to any labels, but if a label fits the way you feel, great. Above all, hopefully you can learn to be comfortable with how you feel. The term “asexual” can help to describe and understand it, but it won’t solve any problems. 

This  

Also, what @argar and @Snao Cone said about exploring the forums. You will likely find a lot of things resonating with you from various people here.  

 

@LA2, welcome and  !

[OldNews]

12 hours ago, LA2 said:

Hi,

I just told my mother that I think I'm asexual.  I'm 41 and have only ever had 2 relationships.  In neither one did I have a desire for sex. We made out, but that's it.

I guess I'm just looking for some guidance and reassurance that I'm right in what I'm thinking.  This is all very new to me. 

Welcome! If it feels right, then it probably is. It can take a while to process the idea that you're asexual. It took me a good two years. There are no deadlines. You get to choose the identity/identities that suit you when you find it helpful. If you change your mind, they can be discarded too.

[argar]

[Agent Scully]

I’ll be 43 later this year. Like some of you, I often wish I could trade in this body and maybe my bank account for a bigger, better deal. But here we are. It is what it is, I guess. Growing up when we did was actually kind of awesome. Being on the cusp between Gen X and Millennial felt like straddling two worlds. An analogue childhood that rolled right into the rise of the digital age, just in time for peak teenage angst. It was something special.

 

I miss the old internet. Back when talking to someone on the other side of the planet still felt like magic, not psychological or political warfare. Before everything became cold, curated, and narcissistic. Before the invention of the like button. I remember those days fondly. And the music. Oh my god, the music. Don’t even get me started. And yes, I’m fully aware I’m starting to sound like my boomer mother. 🙃

[argar]

[Bex A.]

Turned 40 this past December, but I feel 90 some days! I've begun to deal with chronic pain a few years ago but it's only intensified in the past five months.

[AceArospec]

11 minutes ago, Bex A. said:

Turned 40 this past December, but I feel 90 some days! I've begun to deal with chronic pain a few years ago but it's only intensified in the past five months.

First of all, happy belated 40th birthday! Secondly, I'm sorry about the chronic pain; I can relate. Started to have some cervical disc issues in mid 30s, exacerbated by an mva in late 30s that led to spondylosis. Unfortunately I get flare-ups from time to time. *sigh* @argar's meme almost made me laugh out loud! 

I hope you're able to find ways to get relief.

[argar]

Almost?

 

Dang. 

 

Yeah, I know way too many people dealing with chronic pain.

 

I hope you both find a healthy sustainable way to manage it, if not get rid of it completely in a healthy way. 

[AceArospec]

2 minutes ago, argar said:

Almost?

My emotions tend to reside internally so this was still a big reaction for me, I guarantee it! I found this very amusing. 😉

 

3 minutes ago, argar said:

healthy sustainable way to manage it

For me regular stretches & exercises help most of the time; then physical therapy (& short-term medication) when stress or other factors cause particularly difficult flare-ups.  

[argar]

Yeah,

 

Stress will get you. 

 

I'm glad you have a routine that helps. 

[Bex A.]

40 minutes ago, argar said:

Almost?

 

Dang. 

 

Yeah, I know way too many people dealing with chronic pain.

 

I hope you both find a healthy sustainable way to manage it, if not get rid of it completely in a healthy way. 

I need to begin exercising more, or at least move around more, but it's pretty tough when the pain is so severe at times. Then when I do feel like I have the spoons to move around for more than five minutes, I feel completely burnt out afterwards.

[argar]

I've been doing the exercise as well, but  mostly so I can move around easier. 

 

Going up and down stairs, which reminds me I need to do more step climbing exercises. 

 

Have you considered something like water aerobics, or just walking under water?

 

Less stress on the joints. 

 

I've been using an exercise bike to get in a lot of my cardio.

[Slajmy]

Had to have surgery on my foot. I walk very slowly. And every joint hurts. Hello old age. 

[argar]

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