Flamered Posted June 18, 2018 Share Posted June 18, 2018 4 hours ago, faraday☘ said: Oh my gosh, @newgirl. I hope you make a full recovery! @Flamered I hope you recovered from your heart surgery. I too hate talking on the phone. I prefer email, text, or PMs. @gothicowlz Welcome!!! Here's to new beginnings....and a happy life! @Flamered and @newgirl Sometimes the loneliness gets to me too. My dogs and cats help with that. our cat doesnt really like being held, but loves to be petted & that too is helpful 🙂 i have fortunately healed, more or less😉 i have wires around my sternum that i can sometimes feel, & i am not as quick as i used to be. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SweetAndSassy Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 Hello again everyone. I know that months ago I mentioned having a less than positive experience on an online dating site. Being the incurable optimist that I am, I have not given up on the idea of finding a romantic partner, but have been a bit confused as to where to meet such a person. I am not a big drinker and am not into the bar scene, so that is out of the question. So I would like to pose two questions: To those of you who are in a romantic relationship, where and how did you meet your significant other? To everyone, any suggestions on where I could start looking for that special someone? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 @SweetAndSassy I don't really know the answer to that. Some people meet right here on AVEN. I mean it's not a dating site, but if you find someone interesting, you can send them a message. The meetup mart thread (here on AVEN) also may be a good place to meet someone or a group of people in real life if your close. Some people use ace-book.net, an asexual dating site. I didn't find that one to be useful for me. Others will use traditional dating sites like okcupid, match, tinder, or even bumble. If you live in a larger city, meetup.com has social groups for people of similar interest. I'm sure others have better suggestions. Good luck! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SweetAndSassy Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 Thank you @faraday☘, I will keep all that in mind. Sadly I live in a big city with a small town mentality, so socializing is not always easy. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 1 hour ago, SweetAndSassy said: Thank you @faraday☘, I will keep all that in mind. Sadly I live in a big city with a small town mentality, so socializing is not always easy. LOL, I live in a small town with a small town mentality. Socializing isn't easy on my end either. I appreciate it when out-of-town friends visit or when I have the opportunity to travel with a friend. Even attending ACE meetups when I get the opportunity if I'm in a big city is something I try to do. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SweetAndSassy Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 Thank you again @faraday☘. I should see where the closest ACE meetup is for me 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 1 hour ago, faraday☘ said: I appreciate it when out-of-town friends visit or when I have the opportunity to travel with a friend. Even attending ACE meetups when I get the opportunity if I'm in a big city is something I try to do. same here 2 minutes ago, SweetAndSassy said: Thank you again @faraday☘. I should see where the closest ACE meetup is for me It is good to meet up with other aces when you get the chance. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted June 27, 2018 Author Share Posted June 27, 2018 Asexual meetup is a very good idea 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flamered Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 I have a question for the rest of you 40-somethings: when did you figure out that you were asexual? When did you find the term "asexual"? Cause i feel old as dirt about when i found the term, though looking back i always was asexual 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted June 28, 2018 Share Posted June 28, 2018 I'm not 40-something. I found out about asexuality when I was in my 50s, so you're on the young side from where I stand. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GeoAmy Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 5 hours ago, Flamered said: I have a question for the rest of you 40-somethings: when did you figure out that you were asexual? When did you find the term "asexual"? Cause i feel old as dirt about when i found the term, though looking back i always was asexual I feel the same way. I was around 37 or 38 when I realized "being attracted" to someone really meant wanting to sleep with them (for the most part). I had been "attracted" to men, but it was never in that way. I felt a bit dumb and naive I was oblivious to this for far to long. And of course then googled why I never felt the "urge" and found the term "asexual". I didn't accept it at first, but when I was nearly 40 I revisited it and decided it was the case for me. This month is 5 official years as identifying as Ace. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flamered Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 @daveb & @GeoAmy....... Once i found it & read what it entailed, there was a lot of clicking going on inside my head from when i was younger. A lot of it was things previous partners had said or treated me, & i never really cared for sex. it was quite an awkward experience. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 The important thing is we all got here. And with increased visibility and education more people will learn sooner. It's all good. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 15 hours ago, Flamered said: I have a question for the rest of you 40-somethings: when did you figure out that you were asexual? When did you find the term "asexual"? Cause i feel old as dirt about when i found the term, though looking back i always was asexual I was in the 8th grade when I began subtly considering that something about me might be a bit "off." It wasn't til around thirty that I discovered the term 'asexual,' about fifteen years ago. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 8th grade is when I started to sense something too. In high school is when I knew for sure. Since the asexual community was not around, I just thought I was different. 3 years ago I discovered term "asexual". I was 46 then. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 Hmm, It was a little earlier for me. 4th grade maybe. All I knew as a kid was that kissing disturbed me for some reason. It still does to a certain extent. And that I was a little more disconnected from the rest of my peers at the time. I think I might also have had a touch of social anxiety, but I'm not 100% sure. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dande Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 I'm 42. Just starting to discover myself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted June 30, 2018 Share Posted June 30, 2018 Welcome @DandeII Lots of different places here on AVEN to explore to help guide you. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 I am going through a mid-life crisis and want to learn a karaoke song. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Hmm, I suggest a Queen song. But I love Queen, so that is a biased suggestion. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 37 minutes ago, argar said: Hmm, I suggest a Queen song. But I love Queen, so that is a biased suggestion. I have a terrible voice, but if I listen to the song enough, if I memorize the lyrics, if it owns me and I can get into it, then maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to pull it off at a karaoke bar at 1am when everyone is drunk off their rocker and needs a pick me up. Here are the three songs that I am learning in order of importance and chances of being able to actually get up there and do it: 1) Drops of Jupiter - Train 2) Break My Stride - Matthew Wilder 3) What's Up - 4 Non Blondes (I have strong doubts about this one and so maybe I'll check into Queen.) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Oh, good choices! I once did a Herman's Hermits "There's a kind of hush" because it's short and the lyrics are easy. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 3 minutes ago, argar said: Oh, good choices! I once did a Herman's Hermits "There's a kind of hush" because it's short and the lyrics are easy. I just found a replacement for What's Up! I want to learn Falling to Pieces - Faith No More, and do it in a funny voice, just to go way off the deep end, LOL!!! DOING IT!!! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Cool! I've always liked Leonard Cohen's "Everybody Knows," it's slow and has interesting lyrics. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 @Dande, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 @Peterson515 Please record your karaoke adventure!!!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dande Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. I think 3 years ago, when I had gone to my first PrideFest in Erie, PA -- that was when I knew I was different. I was attracted to androgynous people. No pure women. No cis women. Ehhh for a pure man or cis man. But this interesting mix of androgyny struck a cord with me. I seem to prefer the feminine male over the masculine male. And I seem to prefer a masculine female over a feminine female. Yes, I'm weird. I know. LOL 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PeterPanForever Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 38 minutes ago, faraday☘ said: @Peterson515 Please record your karaoke adventure!!!! Hahahahaaaaaaaaaa maybe one day, but you have to understand, just because I enjoy singing when I am alone doesn't mean that I am good at it. I am not. But I appreciate a good time 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted July 2, 2018 Author Share Posted July 2, 2018 Dande Hey Pittsburgh in the house. Pittsburgh is my birthplace. Welcome to the group. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldNews Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 On 6/28/2018 at 1:25 PM, Flamered said: I have a question for the rest of you 40-somethings: when did you figure out that you were asexual? When did you find the term "asexual"? Cause i feel old as dirt about when i found the term, though looking back i always was asexual I knew that I didn't feel sexual or romantic attraction in my early teens. Over the years, I made my life work on that basis (without thinking of it as a sexual orientation). I read an article about asexuality when I was 40. I have experienced very few moments that could be described with the word epiphany -- but learning about asexuality was one of them. That was three years ago. In 25+ years, it had never occurred to me that other people might be in a similar situation! A few days ago, I posted a "coming out" message on Facebook. I was genuinely expecting to get a certain amount negative feedback and nastiness. I actually got a tremendous amount of support and positive feedback! Of 177 FB friends, 80 have reacted with "Like" or "Love". I didn't lose a single friend. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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