newgirl Posted March 11, 2019 Author Share Posted March 11, 2019 On 3/9/2019 at 6:34 AM, faraday☘ said: The public transit system sucks where I am. You cannot get around at all!! Better off biking or walking. I can drive, but my license is restricted. For instance I cannot take on passengers, drive heavy highways, and turn left without some traffic control. How funny! I'm getting ready to make an eye appointment to see if I can drive a car/Learner permit as a monocular driver. My left eye vision is "good" but my right eye vision is poor . Right now, I'm fine with restrictive licenses and wearing bioptic glasses. I want to finally learn now to drive at 48 years old sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad. I want to go on a road trip. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Traveler40 Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 This is my first post in “older asexuals”. While I may only be part of that phrase, I’d felt like I was neither. Then, I answered a question in Off A last night and it smacked me between the eyes: I’m way too old to be answering the teen/twenty something poll type questions. My God, I’m thankful for my age due to perspective, but am suddenly feeling it as I never have before. Double edged sword that one. So, while not asexual, apparently I *am* older... 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 On 3/9/2019 at 8:52 AM, argar said: Does the place offer services like either Uber or Lyft? Yes, but very limited. When you use the app, it more common not to get a response. Unless you arrange ahead of time, it's not worth it. On 3/9/2019 at 1:54 PM, Skycaptain said: @faraday☘, at least you have a restricted license. In Britain they'd just say eyesight too bad, no driving Agreed! I'm thankful, I'm allowed a restrictive license. At least I have the independence to get around on my own. If that ever gets taken away, I'd move to a city where I could walk or have easy access to public transport. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 @Traveler40 Welcome to the older aces!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
grey goose Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 Been a while since I posted here, nice to see new people keep trickling in. :-) I'm fighting a cold today so internet has been my companion. LOL And so I'm off to surf the web some more. Later!!! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BobRossRules Posted March 29, 2019 Share Posted March 29, 2019 Hi there! I'm off and on here too. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Flowerpotted Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 Hello I’m new. I’m in my 40s and a mother. Only came to the realisation recently who I am. Such a relief to be honest. I’m divorced. Had no relationship since as I have no interest. I would say I’m definitely grey, hetero, I don’t think I’m aromantic as I’m open to a relationship if it happened and was the right type of man (who understood). But I’m still getting to know the diversity of this orientation, and therefore still learning what all the words mean. I am in Australia. I’m very fit and running I think has been my sanity over the last few years, trying to work out why I’m different. I haven’t come out as such. Actually planning on talking to my best friend this weekend. She will be the first to know. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 @Flowerpotted, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
grey goose Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 On 4/3/2019 at 3:38 PM, Flowerpotted said: Hello I’m new. I’m in my 40s and a mother. Only came to the realisation recently who I am. Such a relief to be honest. I’m divorced. Had no relationship since as I have no interest. I would say I’m definitely grey, hetero, I don’t think I’m aromantic as I’m open to a relationship if it happened and was the right type of man (who understood). But I’m still getting to know the diversity of this orientation, and therefore still learning what all the words mean. I am in Australia. I’m very fit and running I think has been my sanity over the last few years, trying to work out why I’m different. I haven’t come out as such. Actually planning on talking to my best friend this weekend. She will be the first to know. Welcome from the states. I've known about other aces for almost a year now and it's been a wild ride of self discovery and loss of ignorance. Understand that there is a big spectrum of asexuals out there. Some like me want all the romantic actions of a normal relationship just without sex while others want no touching at all. Just an example but honestly read and see what's there and ask questions. And yes, welcome. We have cake! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RobPal Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 I turned 40 a few days ago but have been struggling with the reality of being ace and aro for the last couple of years, although I always had the same thoughts in the back of my head since my initial discovery of asexuality being a real thing. Knowing that I reached the end of my relationship story when I was 9 years old and I'll be essentially on my own until I die, has been and continues to be really difficult. Along with a couple of other things this has sent me to the edge of depression, although I don't wish to be formally diagnosed as I refuse to take any medication as it won't change the facts. I used to be fine with being on my own, as I love my independence, however this has changed over the last two or three years. I now feel trapped in this situation as I in my heart I would love to be a Dad but reality has already decided that is extremely unlikely to happen. I'm only posting here to vent a little rather than ask for advice, so thanks for reading. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldNews Posted April 14, 2019 Share Posted April 14, 2019 @RobPal, I'll try to make this an observation rather than advice. You get to define your own lifestyle. The preconceptions of others are not important -- you can choose to live in the way that works best for you. That's just something to think about. All the best to you! 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Out of the saddle Posted April 19, 2019 Share Posted April 19, 2019 People leave more gross stuff in bed than pets. Think earplugs Food Food Food Dry skin Pubic hair.....yuuuccckkk If you weren't an ace before this response you are now...lol...🤣 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SW1804 Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 Hello all. This is my first post here. I'm 47. My husband left me the day after my birthday this month. We're going to divorce because he fell out of love with me, and I know much if that comes down to the conflict between our sexual orientations. I want everything in a romantic relationship except sex. He wants sex. Fourteen years of him getting things his way, albeit infrequently, has been painful and distressing. Yet my sacrifice wasn't enough. Now I have to start again and I'm dissolusioned. Are there any of us in or close to Birmingham? It would be amazing to have friends who understood me for the first time in my life. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 5 hours ago, shahw1 said: Hello Welcome and ! You could check the Meetup Mart forum. I think there are lots of meetups in the UK. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 @shahw1, welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wyrdwyrm Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 @RobPal - Have you considered volunteering in some kind of mentorship program? There are definitely kids out there in need of a good adult role model, and that might satisfy your parental itch a little. Or if you have any friends with kids, you can offer your time with babysitting and become an unofficial uncle. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RobPal Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 On 4/28/2019 at 8:26 PM, wyrdwyrm said: @RobPal - Have you considered volunteering in some kind of mentorship program? There are definitely kids out there in need of a good adult role model, and that might satisfy your parental itch a little. Or if you have any friends with kids, you can offer your time with babysitting and become an unofficial uncle. Thanks for your suggestions. I have already pretty much done all of the above, and if anything it made things worse as it highlighted in bold relief what I don't have and really want. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wyrdwyrm Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 On 5/6/2019 at 3:58 PM, RobPal said: Thanks for your suggestions. I have already pretty much done all of the above, and if anything it made things worse as it highlighted in bold relief what I don't have and really want. Aw, that sounds heartbreaking. *Hugs* I hope you find some sort of relief somehow. ❤️ 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RobPal Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 16 hours ago, wyrdwyrm said: Aw, that sounds heartbreaking. *Hugs* I hope you find some sort of relief somehow. ❤️ Thanks. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Greymulkin Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 Wanted to chime in to say hey to all the Aces in their 40s. I am just coming into this myself and personal benefits of discovering my asexuality has far outweighed the life traumas that were also part of the equation. To avoid reposting my entire story here it is: Welcome Lounge Post. Looking forward to getting to know some the community. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted May 10, 2019 Author Share Posted May 10, 2019 HEARTBROKEN! Today ,I found out from low vision doctor that I shouldn't fulfill my dream and learn how to drive as monocular driver. I am heart broken. This was my last hope of reaching my dream to travel around the USA via car/van/RV. I don't have friends , husband or boyfriend, allot of money, good reliable job but all I ask was one thing beside good health ,I just wanted to learn how to drive to be free. I know some people will read this and say what about flying, greyhound or Amtrak. The places I want to go doesn't have an airport, bus station or train station. For 2 years, I've been trying to find driver to help me fulfill my dream but famous words no reliable people. I just heartbroken 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Aw, man. That's too bad. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OldNews Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 @newgirl, I'm sorry to hear that. You may not be able to fulfil that dream, but I hope you find other ways to scratch that itch.... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spotastic Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 @newgirl I don't know how well you would do with bike riding, but I read a news story a while back about a man from India who decided to jump on a bike and ride around the world. He used a translation app to be able to talk to people and benefitted heavily from the kindness of strangers. You could also take a train or bus to a place and bike the remaining way. Most greyhounds have bike racks iirc. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
robnrdbrd Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 On 5/14/2019 at 3:46 PM, Spotastic said: @newgirl I don't know how well you would do with bike riding, but I read a news story a while back about a man from India who decided to jump on a bike and ride around the world. He used a translation app to be able to talk to people and benefitted heavily from the kindness of strangers. You could also take a train or bus to a place and bike the remaining way. Most greyhounds have bike racks iirc. There's also e-bikes (and even e- quad bikes if balance is an issue), which will cost more and require charging, but won't require the physical fitness. Another way to travel and live / eat for 'free' is to do a help exchange. I used helpx.net to travel around New Zealand back in 2007. Basically, you agree with the host to work for x amount of hours a day (usually half) and you live and eat with them. I spent a week each on four different farms and loved it. In each case, the hosts weren't looking for free labour either (though I imagine it helps!), but genuinely wanted to meet like-minded people and give back like people who'd helped them when they were young travelers. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chrysalis1975 Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 Hi there & Happy Sunday! I’m 44 years young and am slowly getting back on the AVEN site. Been busy working and still working on who I am and what hobbies/activities I like to do (solo it seems). Right now I love mysteries (reading and watching), writing prose poetry, taking photos of the outdoors, and light hiking. Don’t know any other ACE people IRL, and after getting tired of trying to locate people of common interests for friendship, I came back online. So...Hi & Hugs 🤗 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
argar Posted May 19, 2019 Share Posted May 19, 2019 Welcome!!! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 @chrysalis1975, welcome back 🎂 🎂 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chrysalis1975 Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 7 hours ago, Skycaptain said: @chrysalis1975, welcome back 🎂 🎂 Thank you 🙏🏿 it’s good to be back... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
darkgreen Posted May 24, 2019 Share Posted May 24, 2019 @shahw1 Welcome to the board. I am not from Birmingham nor in the UK, but always good to have another person to communicate with who understands. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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