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the ugly truth


kochouran

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What happens when you discover that a person you've become attracted to isn't really the person you thought they were?

Like you've developed a relationship with this person but then a secret comes out that would normally be a huge turn-off or even a deal breaker. How would you respond?

The backstory to this question:

Although I identify as grey, I have very strong demisexual tendencies particularly with men. My partner (who is sexual) and I are seeing a counselor, and we've been trying to figure out why I cannot forgive him for a mistake he made in the past. It happened shortly before we got together, but I was directly affected because the mistakes (and the discussions it triggered about how he forms relationships) made me realize that he wasn't the person I thought he was. Our views are so different that it turns me off completely. Had I known about this in the beginning, this relationship wouldn't have worked. I love him and it would kill me if our relationship ends, but there's a feeling of disgust at this side of him that I discovered after I fell for him. My friends think I'm insane for not being able to let go of this so I'm curious as to how any of you would approach.

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ChangelingGirl

I've had this happen with my husband before we were married. I won't say what it was because that's between me and him, but it was kind of hard for me to deal with but didn't make me want to leave him. In my opinion, ture love can withstand even huge turn-offs.

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