member38203 Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 Hey. Probably in the wrong section but I am the tiniest bit intoxicated and can't really find where this is supposed to go. With Valentine's Day coming up I've been thinking a lot about my asexuality and what category I fit in, if any, and I'm unsure. I know I'm asexual. I have no desire for sex at all. I tried to have a boyfriend once before I understood and the thought never once crossed my mind and he cheated on me. With hindsight, not surprising, but whatever. I just don't know if I'm aromantic or what. I don't know if I want a relationship. I think maybe a part of me does, but another part thinks I'll never find anybody I like and I could never compromise and they wouldn't want to compromise and everything is weird. I don't even think I believe in love. I struggle to believe in things I cannot or have never felt. (That boyfriend was a mistake, I didn't care for him, it was just nice to have someone to hang around with) People have wanted to be with me in the past but I push them away because I struggle to explain what I am and now I just have no idea what I am. Maybe my hatred for humanity has really gotten to my core. Maybe I am really a mentally-ill sociopath. (Thank you shrinks) Link to post Share on other sites
Everytime I think I create Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 Hey. Probably in the wrong section but I am the tiniest bit intoxicated and can't really find where this is supposed to go. With Valentine's Day coming up I've been thinking a lot about my asexuality and what category I fit in, if any, and I'm unsure. I know I'm asexual. I have no desire for sex at all. I tried to have a boyfriend once before I understood and the thought never once crossed my mind and he cheated on me. With hindsight, not surprising, but whatever. I just don't know if I'm aromantic or what. I don't know if I want a relationship. I think maybe a part of me does, but another part thinks I'll never find anybody I like and I could never compromise and they wouldn't want to compromise and everything is weird. I don't even think I believe in love. I struggle to believe in things I cannot or have never felt. (That boyfriend was a mistake, I didn't care for him, it was just nice to have someone to hang around with) People have wanted to be with me in the past but I push them away because I struggle to explain what I am and now I just have no idea what I am. Maybe my hatred for humanity has really gotten to my core. Maybe I am really a mentally-ill sociopath. (Thank you shrinks) I myself am having difficult issues with Valentine's Day. If there is ever anyone that you really crave to be around, who makes you laugh, makes you want to look into their eyes a lot, or you have trouble doing so, who touches your heart and makes you want to cry, who you would like to hug and kiss even if it is just simple affection, who could crush you if they do not feel the same way, then that is feeling romantically in love. But love is just what we all do everday when we care and choose to treat others very well. Good luck and God bless!! Link to post Share on other sites
Faelights Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Hey there, With regards to being aromantic or romantic or somewhere in between (yes, this section welcomes threads on gray-romanticality) -- do you know if you've ever experienced romantic attraction? Because that is how you determine where on the spectrum you might place yourself. It's probably safe to say that most individuals who identify as romantic (i.e. experience romantic attraction) wish to pursue a relationship. However, there are those that experience the romantic attraction yet choose not to pursue romantic relationships for other reasons. Similarly, there are people who are aromantic (i.e. don't experience romantic attraction) who still want to pursue romantic relationships. As for being gray-romantic, as a parallel to gray-asexual, it's when you experience romantic attraction only in very, very limited circumstances. One example of gray-romantic is demiromantic, where you are only able to experience romantic attraction after a strong emotional connection has been made with the other individual. When determining whether you are romantic, aromantic, or somewhere in between, please keep in mind -- whether or not you want to pursue a romantic relationship might not have anything to do with whether or not you experience romantic attraction. Futhermore, I would caution you to be careful... just because you don't wish to engage in traditional romantic gestures like kissing or holding hands or candlelit dinners or moonlit walks along the beach, it doesn't necessarily mean you're aromantic. It might just mean those things mean nothing to you. I don't know if I've made things more clear or muddied the waters even more for you... but and good luck with figuring this out! Link to post Share on other sites
ChangelingGirl Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 The part about being unable/unwillin got compromise and therefore not feeling up to a romantic relaitonship, struck a chord with me. This is in a way a good quality to have, because in a romantic relationship, it is hard to get boundaries met especially if you differ on sexuality level. However, there are people out there who are willing ot submit to your desires or lack thereof, so is it that you feel you will not find the right one for you being that you are picky, or are you truly not romantically attracted (see the above posts for how to figure out whether you are)? Link to post Share on other sites
ithaca Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 Hey. Probably in the wrong section but I am the tiniest bit intoxicated and can't really find where this is supposed to go. With Valentine's Day coming up I've been thinking a lot about my asexuality and what category I fit in, if any, and I'm unsure. I know I'm asexual. I have no desire for sex at all. I tried to have a boyfriend once before I understood and the thought never once crossed my mind and he cheated on me. With hindsight, not surprising, but whatever. I just don't know if I'm aromantic or what. I don't know if I want a relationship. I think maybe a part of me does, but another part thinks I'll never find anybody I like and I could never compromise and they wouldn't want to compromise and everything is weird. I don't even think I believe in love. I struggle to believe in things I cannot or have never felt. (That boyfriend was a mistake, I didn't care for him, it was just nice to have someone to hang around with) People have wanted to be with me in the past but I push them away because I struggle to explain what I am and now I just have no idea what I am. Maybe my hatred for humanity has really gotten to my core. Maybe I am really a mentally-ill sociopath. (Thank you shrinks) Just saying, I could have written this word by word. Just to let you know that i understand your confusion completely. Have some cake :cake: Link to post Share on other sites
Tosca's Prayer Posted February 13, 2012 Share Posted February 13, 2012 totally offtopic, but i tried to use valentines day to get out of maths tomorrow and have a class party instead. it didnt work. no-one at my school really cares about valentines day. i just use it as a way to try an get out of doing schoolwork. Link to post Share on other sites
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