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whisper in the wind

Romantic attraction in conjunction with sexuality

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whisper in the wind

Ok, so. We as asexuals expand our identity further typically by identifying as romantic, aromantic, homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, etc. etc. etc.

If someone can be asexual yet still have a romantic orientation... cant the opposite hold true? The vice-versa? Cant a sexual person lack romantic attraction?

Sorry if this is explained anywhere already on the site, but Ive been thinking about it lately. Theres people who are obsessed with, if not addicted to, sex, and use it almost as a hobby. They look at a person and gain sexual desire, have sexual feelings, they want to have sexual intercourse. But all of this is in regards to SEX, isnt it? It turns them on? Makes them horny? Now lets say this is all they feel, nothing more? What if all they want is that physical contact, that physical touch and the sexual sensations that come with it? What if theres no emotional bond or attachment, no other kind of attraction beyond that of the desire to get laid?

Couldnt a person very well be hetero, homo, bi, or pansexual, but aromantic? Wouldnt that define sex addicts, prostitutes, hookers, one-night stands, and those who only want to sleep around but not get emotionally invested?

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The Great WTF

Yes. It happens quite a bit. I have a lot of reason to think my boyfriend might be aromantic (or severely repressed, one of the two.) There are even people here on AVEN that are aromantic sexuals.

To answer your final question, though, no. That doesn't necesarily define any of them, espscially prostitutes. You don't need to be attracted to someone to have sex with them and I highly doubt many prostitues are attracted to their clients. Also, sex addiction, after a certain point, generally becomes less about wanting to have sex with a certain person and more about just needing to have sex. They may very well still have a romantic orientation as well.

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Jillianimal

Yup, I know of at least one on here. Think of any combination of orientations & it's bound to exist. And no, I highly doubt all aro sexuals are like that & vice versa, though admittedly it still does come to mind.

I think the idea of aromantic sexuals being sex addicts or calloused to their partners is heavily influenced by the media. It teaches us that love & sex go together, so if you want sex without the love being there, you must have a problem or be a cold hearted cheating bitch/bastard. Just like love without sex means you have a problem or you're a super shy virgin.

I think us aces & sexyaros should team up more. Who's with me?

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RandomGirlK

Yes, I think there are people who are aromantic sexuals, as there are many people who like to have loads of one night stands (or sleep with a lot of prostitutes), but never want a romantic relationship with anyone.

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maven

Ok, so. We as asexuals expand our identity further typically by identifying as romantic, aromantic, homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, etc. etc. etc.

If someone can be asexual yet still have a romantic orientation... cant the opposite hold true? The vice-versa? Cant a sexual person lack romantic attraction?

Sorry if this is explained anywhere already on the site, but Ive been thinking about it lately. Theres people who are obsessed with, if not addicted to, sex, and use it almost as a hobby. They look at a person and gain sexual desire, have sexual feelings, they want to have sexual intercourse. But all of this is in regards to SEX, isnt it? It turns them on? Makes them horny? Now lets say this is all they feel, nothing more? What if all they want is that physical contact, that physical touch and the sexual sensations that come with it? What if theres no emotional bond or attachment, no other kind of attraction beyond that of the desire to get laid?

Couldnt a person very well be hetero, homo, bi, or pansexual, but aromantic? Wouldnt that define sex addicts, prostitutes, hookers, one-night stands, and those who only want to sleep around but not get emotionally invested?

Ello! I'm an aromantic sexual. Not a sex addict, prostitute, hooker, haven't had a one-night stand in a really long time, and my aim in life is not to sleep around without getting emotionally invested. I do see sex as a hobby, but I'm certainly not addicted or obsessed... truth be told I haven't had sex in quite a while. Too much effort. People don't understand when you're a girl and aren't romantically attracted to the people you sleep with. You'd think it would be easy, and that plenty of guys would want to hook up, but it doesn't really work that way (especially not when you're paranoid about STDs like I am). I've never had a very strong emotional bond with the people I've had sex with, in fact, I hold my friends and family in much higher regard than any lover I've had, no matter how long I've been with them. Sex doesn't have the same emotional connotations for me that I assume it does for other people. It's just a fun activity, like rock climbing or painting.

There are a couple of us on AVEN, and I assume a small percentage of us out in the world... I don't think the majority of us are sex addicts/prostitutes or in any sort of sexual profession. Being an aromantic sexual doesn't make you want to have sex more often than any other sexual person. It also doesn't mean you crave sex like an addict would, or that you're good at having "meaningless" sex like I'd assume most would qualify a prostitute as doing - it just means that there's no romantic element to having sex for us. Sex is not "making love," it is separate from love, and having sex with someone doesn't mean I'm in love with them.

I also don't think the majority of sex addicts/prostitutes/hookers are sexual aromantics. Prostitutes and hookers have sex because they need money or they like having sex with tons of people (I'm assuming), not because they've realized they don't form romantic bonds with anyone. Sex addicts... well, I can't even guess how they got to their addiction, but it's completely separate from being aromantic. Having an addition to sex has no bearing on your romantic orientation.

I think us aces & sexyaros should team up more. Who's with me?

hello new term! I'm hijacking it! Sexyaro ftw!

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