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Candyflossdreamer

Hi all om asexual with a 3 year old. I really want to expand my family and thought I'd found somebody who understood me but it's falling apart. I'm so sad and I don't want my daughter to be an only child. 

 

It would be great to talk to some other parents who also have no need for sex in there lives lol 

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I'm pregnant! Been trying with IUI with sperm donation and it finally worked!

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5 hours ago, DemonicEnby said:

@Ettinacongratulations, wish you all the best and many happy years to come. 💜

 

Thanks! I'm really excited!

 

Also, I noticed people sharing images of their kids here, so I may as well share mine:AVvXsEhtfXncP-GNuu6CTUiv1BK27deq5BfK1Opu

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I'm a first-time parent who never really thought much about my personal identity until I had my daughter. I've been with my current bf for the past 3 years or so but I'm starting to question if I might be asexual. I know I still want a romantic relationship and a partner to co-parent with, but sex has never really interested me. I think I mostly did the deed to feel more connected to my partner in the moment but I almost always felt pressured into it or obligated... I've been sexually assaulted before and my bf at the time blamed me, directly, the moment he found out... My first gf broke my heart and so I never allowed myself to get too close to another woman... I think I've subconsciously known I've wanted to be alone but again felt obligated by social stigmas to be with someone and have a family. Now that I have my daughter, I feel like sex is pointless but my bf says he needs it to feel like the relationship is healthy... Idk what to do because we've had sex before a lot, but typically I had to be drunk to do it... Am I just lying to myself about my sexuality and trying to force myself into a box that society deems I should fit into? Is it normal for people to have a kid or multiple kids and still be considered asexual? I feel lost and alone... And like I can't be honest with my bf...

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  • 4 weeks later...
AceAndAlwaysLearning

LunaRayne:

If you are feeling pressured or obligated to have sex, that's not a healthy dynamic. You have the right to ALWAYS feel FREE to not have sex. 

If you're questioning, my path to knowing myself better and discovering I didn't feel sexual attraction involved not being in a relationship and paying attention to what I wanted sexually when there wasn't someone in my life who wanted sex from me. 

That might not be the path for you, but it is a clear indicator that you don't have a healthy dynamic if you need to consume enibriating substances to tolerate sex.

This sounds like not being in an environment where sex is a requirement would benefit you. 

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On 10/26/2021 at 7:57 PM, Candyflossdreamer said:

Hi all om asexual with a 3 year old. I really want to expand my family and thought I'd found somebody who understood me but it's falling apart. I'm so sad and I don't want my daughter to be an only child. 

 

It would be great to talk to some other parents who also have no need for sex in there lives lol 

Hey there! I've got two little boys myself. I'm just starting to understand where I fit in the asexual spectrum (feeling gray, floating somewhere between demi and ace) and it's certainly something I want to figure out so my husband and I can both be fulfilled. I'd say there's a decent chance of us opening up our relationship in the future.

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Red Sun Rises
On 10/26/2021 at 7:57 PM, Candyflossdreamer said:

Hi all om asexual with a 3 year old. I really want to expand my family and thought I'd found somebody who understood me but it's falling apart. I'm so sad and I don't want my daughter to be an only child. 

 

It would be great to talk to some other parents who also have no need for sex in there lives lol 

I'm a parent, currently a foster-adoptive parent in the US.  I don't have a significant other because I don't feel the need for it and I also don't NEED one financially as of yet (fortunately).  I honestly think that more people should become foster resource families, not necessarily with the plan of expanding your family the traditional way but providing a loving, stable home for other kids who will become your family.  

I'm also planning to "adopt" embryos and do that whole thing.  It's a legitimate and relatively affordable way to expand your family if that's what you want.  Feel free to PM me even if you just want to talk about parenting stuff!

 

On a different subject, I also have a 3 year old (almost 4 year old) and holy shit he is getting on my damn last NERVE.  2 year olds aren't the terrors, it's the 3 year olds. Daycare is whupping my ass financially so I'm really looking forward to when he can go to pre-K at the school I work at :lol: He's suddenly become averse to eating, especially when I ask him to eat, and I mean he's averse to anything I ask him to do (let's watch TV - NO - let's get dressed and go outside - NO - let's have a snack - NO).  But he's cute and can be really funny sometimes so I've decided to keep him around for a little bit longer 😜

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JessieWoodlandTeaParty

I also had a more cutesy idea of what dating was like in Junior high until I got there and realized some of my friends were already having sex 😬. I would like if my daughters waited but, I wouldn’t mind them going to a dance with a guy if they were 13. But they would not be allowed to be alone with them at their house, or alone in their room. 16 I’d have a open door policy (leave the door open, Strange Things anyone?) and 17 and up I consider them adults and would like to be very open with them. I’d help them get birth control and talk to them about being smart. Not falling into the whole girls should be pure and are whores otherwise. Being realistic with them and telling them that the person they lose their virginity to doesn’t have to be the one, or Prince Charming. That most likely they will end up being your ex and you might not have a good relationship with them and you shouldn’t feel ashamed, or like you made a mistake. Also they might be just an experiment, like my first was. I’d like to be open with them at all ages and try to be nonjudgmental. Or shame them. I didn’t try dating, or kissing until I was 19 and going to college. But I was living with my parents to try to save money and even though I was 19 😬 my mom called me a whore. Which is funny because I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 21 and I moved out. My mom obviously is a extreme case. I think she just got so use to me being so not into anyone that her reaction was a delayed reaction. But also super judgmental and not ok. 

 

I’ve also gotten practice with talking a lot to my young cousin from the age of when she was 13-19 about all of this.
 

Little bit about myself, I have sensory issues and a very low sex drive and the medication I’m taking has made it completely gone. So I’m still trying to figure out where I’m fall and asking for advice on here from people who are similar to me. Or at least on the same spectrum as me. 

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  • 1 month later...

Glad there is a place to talk about parenting. I have one 8 year old. I feel like I’m reinventing the wheel on parenting,  because I don’t have many positive influences from my childhood.  Luckily I have a wonderful circle of very close friends who are more emotionally tuned who I can turn to.  I only recently figured out that I’m ace and. I feel burdened by society and want to be very open with my kid when the time comes. But I don’t know that I’ll tell anyone beyond my close friends about my self discovery. 

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ShadowWalker

Are there any asexual parents in the greater Atlanta area? I live in Marietta less than an hour from Atlanta and I really want to make friends especially friends who also have children and are asexual. I don’t know anyone locally nor do I have a car so I have been very isolated since moving here.

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ShadowWalker
On 10/26/2021 at 7:57 PM, Candyflossdreamer said:

Hi all om asexual with a 3 year old. I really want to expand my family and thought I'd found somebody who understood me but it's falling apart. I'm so sad and I don't want my daughter to be an only child. 

 

It would be great to talk to some other parents who also have no need for sex in there lives lol 

I have a 3 year old too! Sex is not needed to have another child. You can do artificial insinuation in your home. I just joined so I don’t know if there is a way for you to pm me but I would love it if you could because I am in the same position if definitely not wanting my daughter to be an only child 

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MidnightStar

Hi, I have several children. I never enjoyed, wanted or initiated sex… I just did it because that’s what married people do. I finally found the term asexual about a year ago and it describes how I’ve felt my whole life. My husband knows and we stopped having sex as soon as I told him. I told him it’s OK if he wants to go and find someone to love him the way he needs he just needs to tell me that’s what he’s doing and we’ll do a trial separation… no sneaking around behind my back. If he’s looking for another partner that’s fine I just want to know and perhaps I’ll start looking too for another Ace person. I think the fact that I ‘might’ look elsewhere if he does is keeping him from looking. He can’t have his cake and eat it too so to speak.  Anyways we are currently living as best friends, laughing, enjoying life, raising our kids, no sex. This works out fine and dandy for me however I have no doubt sometime in the future someone might catch his eye and we’ll divorce. I am OK with that too I just worry how it’ll effect our children. They aren’t living in an unhappy home with 2 fighting adults. We never fight and on the outside look very happy. It’s when the kids go to bed and we are sat on the couch at night thar the elephant in the room appears 

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sturnusvulgaris90

Hi! I'm new here and the parent of an 8 year old and now 7 months along with my second child via iui. Sex/a partner are definitely not necessary to have and want kids! It's cool to see so many other ace parents on here. 

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On 5/17/2022 at 8:19 AM, MidnightStar said:

Hi, I have several children. I never enjoyed, wanted or initiated sex… I just did it because that’s what married people do. I finally found the term asexual about a year ago and it describes how I’ve felt my whole life. My husband knows and we stopped having sex as soon as I told him. I told him it’s OK if he wants to go and find someone to love him the way he needs he just needs to tell me that’s what he’s doing and we’ll do a trial separation… no sneaking around behind my back. If he’s looking for another partner that’s fine I just want to know and perhaps I’ll start looking too for another Ace person. I think the fact that I ‘might’ look elsewhere if he does is keeping him from looking. He can’t have his cake and eat it too so to speak.  Anyways we are currently living as best friends, laughing, enjoying life, raising our kids, no sex. This works out fine and dandy for me however I have no doubt sometime in the future someone might catch his eye and we’ll divorce. I am OK with that too I just worry how it’ll effect our children. They aren’t living in an unhappy home with 2 fighting adults. We never fight and on the outside look very happy. It’s when the kids go to bed and we are sat on the couch at night thar the elephant in the room appears 

Just wanted to add that if you don’t want to divorce your husband, there are other ways. I’m asexual, my husband (and father of my four kids) is polyamorous. He has two or three other partners. As long as my needs and my kids’ needs are being met, it works for us, and I still get to live with my best friends and raise our kids together they way we always dreamed. It’s not always easy, but it’s been worth it for us. We didn’t even know what poly was until we were nearly thirty, so I thought I’d mention it here. 

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Ella of Frell
On 8/4/2022 at 8:22 AM, Sireder said:

Just wanted to add that if you don’t want to divorce your husband, there are other ways. I’m asexual, my husband (and father of my four kids) is polyamorous. He has two or three other partners. As long as my needs and my kids’ needs are being met, it works for us, and I still get to live with my best friends and raise our kids together they way we always dreamed. It’s not always easy, but it’s been worth it for us. We didn’t even know what poly was until we were nearly thirty, so I thought I’d mention it here. 

This is quite similar to my situation, and it works quite well for us. 

 

On a side note, I can't believe this is the first time I've noticed this thread. As a mother of three (twin 5 year-olds and an almost 2 year-old), it's nice seeing posts about the struggles of parenting (both in general and as an asexual person). 

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Late to Ace awareness. I'm 54,with 28 Yr old daughter E (who taught me all the new terms 💜). I have made effort to have a real quality relationship with E. MY Own mother is bit pants, so as 'my version of a mother' , everything is up for discussion, nothing is off the table. Eventually conversations turned to relationships and 'getting up close and personal', shall we say. I often lead with disclosing personal info, in a respectful way. Being open and corageous turns out to be best thing I ever did. Now my Ace daughter doesn't feel alone coz now she realises (as do I) that she's inherited (possibly) her Ace. So we're supporting each other through this new world of 'not being in it for the sex'. Turns out we're both a bit grey, generally Ace with the odd BLIP (or I guess there would be no E 😱😂) . Lots of honesty, lots of laughs (care of a wickedly dark Celtic sense of humour). I would have supported her no matter what shape her sexuality took, but our similarities have been a revalation. I am grateful for the gift of understanding and laughter. 

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On 11/4/2022 at 12:08 PM, CyphaB said:

Late to Ace awareness. I'm 54,with 28 Yr old daughter E (who taught me all the new terms 💜). I have made effort to have a real quality relationship with E.

That's really nice to hear you've got a good relationship with your daughter. 

 

On 11/4/2022 at 12:08 PM, CyphaB said:

 I would have supported her no matter what shape her sexuality took, but our similarities have been a revalation. I am grateful for the gift of understanding and laughter. 

I feel really sad and ill equipped should either of my children be sexual as I'd fail in understanding their struggles/challenges. How could I support them through something I don't have or have ever experienced?

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Only just found this thread and I’m so glad it’s still live. I never have time to explore AVEN as much as I’d like to and only joined 4 months ago.  Briefly, I’m 61, mother of 2 boys aged 21 and 23 and married to their father for the last 35 years. Only realised this year that my whole attitude to relationships throughout my life has been due to being a heteroromantic ace.  Things are very topsy turvey right now, although I can’t understand why the discovery of one word changes everything so much when we have slept in separate bedrooms for the past 20 years.

 

Both my children know I’m ace but it’s not discussed.  The eldest has a serious relationship and the younger one plays the field.  Perhaps having boys is different to having girls as I’ve never really bothered what they get up to other than I’ve always stressed that they should never hurt anyone or take advantage of them.

 

I’ve noticed on the few threads I’ve visited that most people are younger and single and don’t want children so it does make me feel quite isolated, especially given that I have no wish to change my situation.  I don’t want to lower my standard of living by getting divorced.  It’s very easy for those who are starting on their life journey to be emphatic about staying single and not having children but my generation were brought up with different expectations.

 

 Anyway, I’ve ranted on enough and apologise now if what I’ve written conflicts in any way with previous posts.  I haven’t read the most recent ones but intend to get started on that now.

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Rain dancer81
16 hours ago, Latestarter said:

I’ve noticed on the few threads I’ve visited that most people are younger and single and don’t want children so it does make me feel quite isolated, especially given that I have no wish to change my situation.  I don’t want to lower my standard of living by getting divorced.

This is where I’m at too. I’m married and we have children. There are quite a few of us on here in the same situation. Everyone on the forum seems to suggest divorce is an immediate requirement for a sexually incompatible couple but I’m not so sure. Too many factors to consider when there’s kids and a home involved. The ones giving that advice have usually never even been in a relationship themselves let alone married with children.  Do whatever makes you happy and remember no one knows your situation besides you. 😊🌈❤️🌻

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On 9/30/2018 at 11:12 AM, Alro said:

Hi Everyone! This post is directed at biological mothers but all opinions and input are welcome of course! 

I'm a 34  yr old mother of 3. ds1 is 12 from a previous relationship, dd is 2.5yrs and ds2 10months from my current relationship. I'm very new to AVEN and to the world of asexuality. 

 

Myself and my partner are struggling to compromise when it comes to intimacy, particularly since having our children. Basically I never want to have sex or kiss and cuddle for that matter as I know this will turn my partner on and then he will want sex. At 1st I was blaming pregnancy, then postnatally I blamed the lack of sleep, the fact the the baby is still in our room, the fact that I'm not ovulating due to breastfeeding etc etc etc. What if these aren't excuses though and it's all true? I've basically been pregnant and breast feeding for over 3 yrs now and were only together 5yrs! How do I know?! 

 

But if I'm truthful to myself, I began to dread sex alot earlier on in our relationship  (probably after the 1st year). The problem is, for the 1st few months we had lots of sex and I even initiated sometimes although most of it was under the influence and if he tries to remind me of anything intimate we did I cringe inside. Looking back, all my relationships started very similar with me being very enthusiastic to please my partners sexual desires but then it very quickly coming to a halt in my mind. And when that occurs I actually become repulsed by kissing and very indifferent/repulsed towards sex. I just always thought that was me falling out of love or becoming bored or something. I never thought I was asexual. 

I'm not sure what possessed me to look up asexuality just a few days ago but something definitely seems to resonate with me. It's had me thinking about all my sexual encounters and crushes over the years. I've had major crushes /been obsessed with many boys in real life and celebrities but thinking back, I can honestly say I never thought about having sex with them or about what they looked like naked or anything. I'm only now since joining AVEN realising that only asexual people don't have those thoughts towards others... I honestly thought it was a female thing. That only men thought with their penises. Do allosexual women really have sexual desires to tear people's clothes off and have sex with people they're attracted to like you see in the movies? That passion that always makes me cringe? 

I do think my boyfriend is good looking but I hate seeing his naked body and hate how he looks at me when he sees me naked (like a peice of meat). I do want him to think I'm attractive but maybe only in the way that I think he's attractive! 

After my 1st relationship  (the father if my 1st son) I was so turned off men I turned to women. Well one woman really. She was a work colleague and we had a flirty very casual on/off thing for a number of years. It rarely went beyond kissing though. Although I had that encounter, I was never comfortable enough to label myself as bisexual as  i couldn't picture myself being intimate with any other females although I was (now I know) romantically attracted to many girls. I considered myself straight, but only by default I guess as I wasn't homosexual. The only time I really wanted to have sex in the last few yrs was when we were trying for our children and even then I wanted it to be as quick as possible. My partner has called me a nun or an old lady when he cracks sexual jokes and I just find them offensive. Or when he think he can just randomly grope my breasts or bum when I walk past him. 

I do really want our relationship to work for the sake of our family but I know sex and intimacy are really important to him. I just cant bring myself to give him what he needs and since discovering AVEN I feel even more reluctant. Like I've betrayed my identity for long enough and enough is enough.  I wouldn't expect a gay man to have sex with  a women just to please her sexual needs so why should I? Or am I just being a stubborn unloving  cold bitch? I feel so lost and trapped since this discovery of my identity. And really sad that I did all those things that I really didn't want to do or didn't feel comfortable with, just to impress my partners and to make them fall in love with me. I also feel like a bit of a fraud. Do I sound asexual or just postnatal? I'm going a bit crazy hear over thinking my whole adult life up to this point 🙈🙈🙈

Wow, did *I* write this?  Apart from the questioning same sex relationship your feelings exactly match my own. This is an old post but I hope things worked out for you.

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1 hour ago, Juniper Lily said:

This is where I’m at too. I’m married and we have children. There are quite a few of us on here in the same situation. Everyone on the forum seems to suggest divorce is an immediate requirement for a sexually incompatible couple but I’m not so sure. Too many factors to consider when there’s kids and a home involved. The ones giving that advice have usually never even been in a relationship themselves let alone married with children.  Do whatever makes you happy and remember no one knows your situation besides you. 😊🌈❤️🌻

I hope that some of those who contributed to this thread have been following it and can add their updates to the previous situations they were experiencing.

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On 8/4/2022 at 11:22 AM, Sireder said:

Just wanted to add that if you don’t want to divorce your husband, there are other ways. I’m asexual, my husband (and father of my four kids) is polyamorous. He has two or three other partners. As long as my needs and my kids’ needs are being met, it works for us, and I still get to live with my best friends and raise our kids together they way we always dreamed. It’s not always easy, but it’s been worth it for us. We didn’t even know what poly was until we were nearly thirty, so I thought I’d mention it here. 

 

On 8/12/2022 at 2:42 PM, Ella of Frell said:

This is quite similar to my situation, and it works quite well for us. 

 

On a side note, I can't believe this is the first time I've noticed this thread. As a mother of three (twin 5 year-olds and an almost 2 year-old), it's nice seeing posts about the struggles of parenting (both in general and as an asexual person). 

I'm am in a similar situation with two kids (3 & 8) and a spouse who is very unhappy with the lack of mutual sexual attraction and desire, as well as infrequent sex. We have discussed opening the marriage, but it's a concept I'm currently uncomfortable with. Do you have any resources that you could point me to that may have helped you in figuring out your arrangement? The polyamory resources I've encountered so far don't address one-sided polyamory much, if at all. I'm not sure if it's something I could be okay with, but I'm trying to keep an open heart/mind. 

 

Our relationship is very good in most respects, but over more than a decade of marriage, we keep getting hung up by sexual incompatibility. For many years we blamed my lack of desire on religious repression, shame, depression, depression meds, etc. It's only the last two years that I've realized that I'm asexual and this is just me (being heteroromantic increased the confusion). Some days it feels like separation is an inevitability. 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Olallieberry

What do you do with a tween who doesn't want to talk about sex?

 

There have been several times when some subject comes up and my wife and I talk very frankly, unconcealingly, about the sexual aspect of whatever it is. You know, it could be about animals, or about relationships of people we know or hear about (celebrities, what have you), or it could be something present and relevant about his body.

 

So when it comes up in a this-isn't-out-of-nowhere way, he's getting the idea that his parents are fine with talking about sex related subjects, it's not taboo and we all approach it with curiosity and willingness to investigate, same as almost any other subject, especially anything remotely sicence-y.

 

But I also want to make sure he's getting complete information and guidance. I've lately been trying to start with just finding out what he already knows, so, I have a sort of checklist of "facts" to run by him. I've told him several times I want to quiz him and find out what he knows and if there's stuff he still needs to learn.

 

Every time I bring this up, he says he doesn't want to talk about it. "Hey, can we do that quiz I've been talking about?" Abrupt "No."

 

So I've been dropping it when he wants to drop it.

 

But I refuse to let him grow up without these talks and without receiving good information and experience and values from his parents.

 

So I guess I'm asking at what point to I override his wishes to not talk about sex? And how do I go about this without turning it into an imposition?

 

I mean, I think to some extent this is like other parenting things, where parents do have to impose some things. But since sex is a sensitive subject, imposition is a conflict.

 

He's only a tween so I guess for now I'll keep making it clear that I'm not going to forget about it forever. But he's shooting up in a massive growth spurt and his voice is in the middle of changing right now, so, it feels like a very present issue lately.

 

He's home schooled and doesn't really have local friends, his friends are mostly online (computer, not smartphone) and some other homeschoolers who we only see in person a few times a year. So his opportunity for shenanigans is extremely limited. But it won't be this way forever and I'd like him to be prepared with good information and with anticipation of his own values and preferences by the time he is dropped into unsupervised situations.

 

That's probably years away still. But what do you do when you want to talk to your kid about sex and they don't want to?

 

It occurs to me that simply asking him why it's so objectionably would be a start.

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UnplannedCauli
On 1/1/2023 at 10:46 PM, Ollie415 said:

Every time I bring this up, he says he doesn't want to talk about it. "Hey, can we do that quiz I've been talking about?" Abrupt "No."

Note that he is not saying "No" to a conversation. He's saying no to being questioned. Think of yourself-as-a-tween. Would you have liked to be probed this way? Most kids wouldn't

You are on a good track, he does need to learn stuff about sex from a respectable source and if you don't do it, the internet will give him less respectable sources. You just need to do the talks. Even if you repeat stuff he already knows, it's better than plain avoiding the subject. What I would do is to design a sort of curriculum for "Adult life". It would have topics about dealing with administration like "what are duties of a homeowner", "how to file taxes", but also with other people, e.g. "how to keep in touch with friends", "what does a good friendship look like", "what is abuse and how to notice it", "how to treat girls/women/other folk you're attracted to", "what are local traditions about weddings", "how to use alcohol responsibly" and then, as one of those many topics, "sexual health"

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Olallieberry
24 minutes ago, UnplannedCauli said:

Note that he is not saying "No" to a conversation. He's saying no to being questioned.

Really good point!

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Interesting - my top two appear no where on that list:

 

1. Consequences - must be down pat.

 

2. How to handle money. 
 

Sex can be learned from great books you leave around the house or lend your kid if they won’t engage (last resort I suppose). I assume they’d likely read them. It’s how I learned….

 

If a family doesn’t have talks daily about everything under the sun, it’s harder to kick start that. Our 9 and 12 year olds ask anything at any time. They will also discuss any topic we broach, but we established that environment from birth.
 

It’s never too late to start, but sex wouldn’t be my first topic. Understanding Consequences thoroughly and how to handle money are the top “must know before leaving home” in my book.  Those take time and hands on experience.
 

The rest are general discussions to have as one offs at dinner or in some cases as they happen naturally in the course of maturation. I mean, tasks as a homeowner or “how to file taxes” are not age appropriate or meaningful to a tween..
 

EDIT: Additionally, I see my role as a parent as teaching my kids how to protect themselves when it comes to sex - from a basic health perspective. The potential consequences of lack of care are critical.  So yeah, consequences is a big theme on this topic as well. Full circle 😊

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I agree with your comments @Traveler40 especially the top two important topics.  
 

Very few teenagers and younger adults (as well as some older adults) have little idea of how to handle money sensibly, which is why there is so much unmanageable debt around.  The skill of budgeting is rarely taught and is not something which most people just acquire by osmosis from the environment.  If you’re teaching IT within your home schooling, this is a great opportunity for spreadsheet use.

 

A consideration of consequences would prevent many harmful, illegal, life threatening etc, etc actions being taken.  Younger people tend to be very impulsive, indeed reckless, and if they are taught to stop and take a few breaths before committing themselves to action they might live a very different life than that which their previous actions would have taken them on.  There are many situations to use when advising on consequences, including many which include sex education.

 

I think it is a great idea to develop your own subject area within your tween’s curriculum as they might not be receiving this type of information/advice from a reliable source if you ignore it.  However, keep it to topics which a person with no current adult responsibilities will need.  The mortgage, dealing with a full time job and tax requirements can wait until they apply.

 

Leaving appropriate books around is also much better than the risk of getting all information from the internet.  As your tween is active on social media there is likely to be a lot of opportunity for gathering opinions from friends, both helpful and harmful.

 

Don’t ignore it but don’t force it.  Children generally don’t appreciate the sex education talk from a parent as it is embarrassing unless they are used to a third person open level of discussion. The facts/mechanics are part of the subject of Biology.  Morals might not fit into any subject area, but could be included in your own curriculum.

 

Good luck with it all.  It must be very difficult to balance the roles of both effective teacher and caring parent.

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UnplannedCauli
On 1/3/2023 at 9:07 AM, Traveler40 said:

my top two appear no where on that list

Well of course, those were just examples that came to mind as I was writing. What's also missing: how to stay healthy, how to decide if a symptom is worth bothering a doctor or even ER, what kind of vaccinations adults need to take care of (i.e. every 10 years DTP, once in adulthood IPV, yearly flu - perhaps others but these three I remember), how to clean a wound, what's the difference between a medicine and a dietary supplement. The list goes on still!

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On 12/21/2022 at 5:21 PM, MamaSquirrel said:

I'm am in a similar situation with two kids (3 & 8) and a spouse who is very unhappy with the lack of mutual sexual attraction and desire, as well as infrequent sex. We have discussed opening the marriage, but it's a concept I'm currently uncomfortable with. Do you have any resources that you could point me to that may have helped you in figuring out your arrangement? (...) 

 

Our relationship is very good in most respects, but over more than a decade of marriage, we keep getting hung up by sexual incompatibility. (...) 

This really resonates for me, how have you been? It's not been long, did you decide to open? We are considering the same possibility for my husband, talking about it for a year. I'm struggling with the connection element - sex for me is linked to connection with him, I don't need it but very rarely can enjoy it and struggle imagining him going with someone else. I fear possible feelings for him, also the fact that I know that it will be on my mind which means I don't think we will do anything anymore, even though it was extremely rare and demanded huge effort on my part to get there, I am grieving that loss. But the thing is we are rarely in phase even when we tried, he has an interest in what we do (acts) when for me it's really just about connection and needs a lot of time, it's proven difficult. He tells me that it would be physical only for him. I'm not sure it would solve stuff but not just add another layer to deal with. I am anxious, I am afraid of my anxiety getting out of hand. Of the uncertainty we would be throwing ourselves in, in terms of emotions, safety, health. I also see that it is not reasonable to expect him/us to continue in the same way. Our children are about the same age as yours. 

 

If anyone has more info on successful open long term relationships with younger children, I would be very interested. 

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