Asexuality and Asperger's

[Charon]

I'm being tested for Asperger's as well and I feel almost certain I have it. I identify lots with what you're saying. My understanding is that female aspies tend to have less specialized or ones that are (relatively) normal. I myself have more spread out interests though to the average neurotypical my interests are intense. I have a good friend who is a female aspie and this seems to apply to her as well. I'm here if you want to talk, anyways.

Hi Delphi Doll

It is my understanding that Females in general have better coping mechanisms in place than males for example.

#1 Socially there is the Female type known as the "mother Hen" who adopts the Aspie Female at a young age and teaches her the ins and outs of social conduct. This also proves the Aspie girl with a means to social networking.

The Aspie male is more inclined to me alienated or bullied by his peers, sometimes he is adopted by the girls but this helps him to a point in a social context but may promote more feminine, passive geeky traits which make him even more vulnerable to male peers.

#2 Females naturally communicate more about people issues.

#3 Female/Male interaction is normally instigated by the Male - For an Aspie Male this is no mean feat. The Aspie girl has no such burden as the saying goes "men are like buses one will be along every 5 minutes". The only potential problem for the Aspie girl is one of naivety and innocence regarding the actions of males she comes into contact with. But there again the mother hen will be of service.

@ Kitsunay Speech development from memory is delayed in High Functioning Autism but speech onset in children is normal for Aspergers, there is a move to integrate AS and HFA its all a mish mash and hard to define.

So did you start becoming an introvert at the onset of Puberty?

I know I did - because at that time the social dynamics started to change and I found my social compass that was working up to then was now pointing in the wrong direction and I didn't know why.

The logical deduction is that I simply did not have any sexuality and since more and more conversation and interaction was being put into that topic by my peers I simply had nothing to offer.

So now the question is why didn't I have any sexuality - In my case my narcissist Vampiric father had drained me of any individuality and I was simply a shell doing his bidding - I had no wants, needs or desires to call my own, I simply had no identity, no sex drive.

[Charon]

I also find it difficult to be socially aggressive, not because I am scared or nervous, I just have little reason to, as well as enjoying books more. I am perfectly capable of interacting 'normally', but I grow bored of most social interactions.

According to those facts, I can seek diagnosis of aspergers, and possibly be diagnosed with it, despite lacking an obsession to details and facts. I don't study one topic to the exclusion of everything else, nor do I learn enough about my interests to be capable of reciting important dates and names, but I am quite talented at understanding the ideas and meanings of a topic.

I suppose that I should cease speaking in this topic, because I have run out of information to contribute, as well as the fact that I don't wish to undermine Morpho's topic with debate. Please understand that my intention never was to call into question your opinions, nor to seem ignorant in mine. I understood the ideas you responded with before I posted my remark, but incorrect wording was my downfall and led you to correct me.

I am not socially aggressive in the Slightest either. According the Myers Briggs INTJ personality that I am - I do not debate people but their ideas which is true, I don't get upset with people because I am more concerned with concepts and idea's.

If your like me your simply more impersonal and abstract in your way of approaching other people.

I don't study one topic either, when I am asked what do I think about I tell them everything. Of course they say no really what do you think about. Again I am perplexed because I thought I answered the question - I really do think about everything.

More specifically what interests me is not the minutiae of individual topics but their overall relationship and connectivity to each other.

Again as an INTJ this is called Strategic Planning.

Kitsunay its cool, If you dance long enough you will step on your partners toes - it happens!

“Reality” is what we take to be true. What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions. What we perceive depends upon what we look for. What we look for depends upon what we think. What we think depends upon what we perceive. What we perceive determines what we believe. What we believe determines what we take to be true. What we take to be true is our reality.

From the book The Dancing Wu Li Masters

I really have to read that again some day.

[Kitsunay]

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@ Kitsunay

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So did you start becoming an introvert at the onset of Puberty?

Right about that time (8-10, The more noticeable changes finished at about 11)

I was homeschooled and didn't have many friends my age around that time, so I didn't notice the change in social dynamics. I did start becoming introverted because that was when I didn't have many intellectual equals of my age. I have always enjoyed conversation of the sort in which ideas and opinions are shared, and in which I can hone mine. That is the sole social pleasure I get, and as a result, a lot of the people who I enjoy being around are those who are at about my intellectual maturity; I have only had one true friend who was about my age after about 8 years old. 8 years old was when I was starting to develop an understanding of myself and a large amount of my insight was developed during that time.

In the previous paragraph, I was referring to isolationism and not seeking social interaction. I have always been introverted in the regard that I prefer alone time, but it wasn't until about 8 that I started to drift away from interacting/playing with friends.

I think that puberty may have been the trigger of that mental maturing, but I believe the maturity is what caused my isolationism. It didn't help that the older kids hated games of imagination and rarely played outside, and that the younger ones played games of "Oh yeah?! My imaginary stuff beats your imaginary stuff". I always enjoyed playing a game of imagination that was more akin to acting; I would set rules to ensure that it lasted as long as possible, and no-one could become a god with game-breaking power (I never did understand why the other kids didn't enjoy playing games like that). I grew bored of the one kid my age who had gone through puberty, because he ceased to play with me or associate with me, and instead chose to use sexual humour, which was the final thing that made our already tenous friendship (more of a playmate kind of friendship) snap.

In terms of me, yes I am an abstract thinker and enjoy the insights that the interconnectedness of ideas can bring, but I don't debate. I prefer honing my opinions and considering other people's in converstation. As I said, that is the only social pleasure I have ever felt... otherwise, interaction doesn't 'refresh' me like it does to other people. For me, I enjoy the ideas themselves, I use ideas to build new ideas, I think of new ways they can be applied, as well as enjoying those "Eureka!" moments of inspiration and understanding. I never take the effort to memorize dates and names, but I love to understand an idea. While building new ideas, I often have to dabble with their interconnectedness, and I occasionally enjoy the novel ways they can be applied, but all-in-all, for me, I enjoy the ideas themselves. As with you, I also find it very hard to become angry at people, and nearly as difficult to be sad over trivial things, but the nature of human behaviou/nature), as well as certain themes, can sadden me deeply, such as wasted potential or ideas/ideals that died with their owner. My science teacher (the one who I liked) often called me a divergent thinker.

That excerpt you gave covers a topic that I knew prior to coming here, but has since been reinforced in the wonderful philosophical discussions I have had here. I may have to look that book up, but the odd thing about philosophy is that it is already 'known', and merely needs to be put into words. All philosophy is true, because everyone has experienced different truths about the human experience.

EDIT: I just took the test. I've had trouble with this test in the past because I am very objective in how I deal with people, but I empathize with them quite easily (in terms of understanding them, rarely in dealing with them), which leads to me being INTP or INFP, depending upon how the questions concerning empathy are worded. I almost always get INTP, so I will use that one. I bolded the things that scream "ME!". You may notice that these explanations describe me in a way reminiscent to how I describe myself above >.< You should see how many times I edit my posts... (the below exerpt explains that if you replace "...correct others..." with "...correct others and themselves...)

They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them...

...INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off...

...This fascination for logical wholes and their inner workings is often expressed in a detachment from the environment, a concentration where time is forgotten and extraneous stimuli are held at bay. Accomplishing a task or goal with this knowledge is secondary.

That last sentence explains why I don't concern myself with hobbies except to learn the information necessary to do them...

EDIT 2 (6th revision >.<):

This is from a site that refers to INTP as 'The Architect'.

...

Architects regard all discussions as a search for understanding...

Architects often seem difficult to know. They are inclined to be shy except with close friends, and their reserve is difficult to penetrate. Able to concentrate better than any other type, they prefer to work quietly at their computers or drafting tables, and often alone. Architects also become obsessed with analysis, and this can seem to shut others out. Once caught up in a thought process, Architects close off and persevere until they comprehend the issue in all its complexity.

Hmm... thinking about it, I've been much more open here than anywhere else... Oh! Just as usual, I let 12:00 slip by. It's still amusing how despite not knowing about my personality type, I have been able to explain it quite thoroughly on this site, just as I have with my 'giftedness', which may or may not be a result of my personality type. *sigh* It's hard to tell which labels contributed to the symptoms of my other labels when they start overlapping.