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Demisexuality - Evolution - Cognitive Humanity


maruli

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Demisexuality - Evolution - Cognitive Humanity

According to the definition, I am demisexual and I have always been, long before the word 'demisexual' was created.

But I do not even really like the word demisexuality, as it sounds like a kind of deficiency and deviance. But by its definition, it describes not a defect, but some high quality humane cognitive achievement, that is much advanced compared with the promiscuous animal copulation, that has become the social norm.

Demisexuality is a form of an especially dignified sexuality, it is personality oriented, humane, ethical, integrated sexuality.

It certainly has not much in common with the absence of sexuality. Therefore I consider it as a very unfortunate situation, that demisexuality is considered a variety of asexuality. According to what I have been reading, most demisexuals just like asexuals are prone to come to adopt the label as the result of experiencing themselves as deviant in a society, where the social norm demands men to be sexual predators and women to comply in acquiescence.

I personally consider demisexuals as the vanguard of evolution.

Biologically, humans are animals. But there is also the cognitive humanity, which distinguishes humans from all other animals. Animals are driven by instincts like programmed robots, only human cognition allows individuals the rational choice to use self-control to defeat instinctive urges.

The evolution of the human species was the evolution away from the determination by instinct and towards the cognitive control by rationality.

Promiscuous sexuality is triggered by instinctive reactions between bodies, while demisexuality is caused by cognitive evaluation of another person as a worthy and suitable partner.

Therefore I consider demisexual persons as those, who are the most evolutionarily advanced true humans, because they have reached the farthest distance from being instinct driven animals.

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Pink Fluffy Dragon

This is how I interpreted the information I found on demisexuality. If I got something wrong...well I'm sure at least 5 people will let me know.

But I do not even really like the word demisexuality, as it sounds like a kind of deficiency and deviance. But by its definition, it describes not a defect, but some high quality humane cognitive achievement, that is much advanced compared with the promiscuous animal copulation, that has become the social norm.

Demi = half, we can agree on that right? Lets take a look at why half might fit. Sexual people experience primary and secondary sexual attraction (look up primary/secondary if you need to). Asexual people experience neither. Demisexual people experience secondary but NOT primary sexual attraction. That is 1 out of 2. It's almost like it is half of what sexual is. *gasp!* HALF! I bet someone had the idea to describe half with something that means half by definition, like say...demi?

http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual

It certainly has not much in common with the absence of sexuality. Therefore I consider it as a very unfortunate situation, that demisexuality is considered a variety of asexuality.

I probably won't do too well on this but I'm gonna give it a shot. Walking down the street demisexuals and asexuals are not gonna have that whole primary sexual attraction thing. Sexuals will have primary sexual attraction. OK, now guess which one demi is closer to? Lets move on to a new example! In my life I'd say I had a strong emotional bond with maybe...1% of the people I've met. Maybe that's not average?...I don't know, but we're gonna go with it and apply it to a made up demisexual person named P. That means P will feel the same as an asexual person with 99% of the people P has met. Will P relate more closely to an asexual or a sexual?

As for that whole "most evolutionarily advanced true humans" thing, I'm gonna let other people handle that. I look forward to the responses! ^_^

I apologize if I come off as slightly...something that I need to apologize for in my 'tone'. I just write how I think...if that makes sense. >.>

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But but but... I like being an animal :(

In all seriousness though. Any kind of talk of evolution and "most advanced" shows blatant ignorance of what evolution is and how it works. So yeah whatever. You might want to tone down the elitism a bit and reconsider your definition of evolution.

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I am looking at it from a different point of view.

Asexuality - no sexual instincts exist, they cannot be triggered.

Sexuality including demisexuality - sexual instincts exist, but they are triggered differently.

Sexuality: Instincts are triggered by physical stimulation

Demisexuality: Instincts are triggered by cognitive stimulation.

Cognitive stimulation is not less than physical stimulation, it is different.

Those promiscuous jerks, who are responsive to physical stimulation, usually are mindblind to the cognitive stimuli.

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First of all, welcome to AVEN, Maruli! :cake: I hope you're finding everything alright so far.

Second of all:

Please be aware that AVEN strongly discourages elitism, as indicated in this thread, "What is "asexual elitism" and why does AVEN discourage it?"

I will add here that this policy on elitism does extend beyond sexual orientation, and as such, please carefully consider your words and intentions before posting, to avoid misunderstandings.

Thank you! ^_^

Faelights,

The Gray Area Moderator.

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Midnight Lady

But but but... I like being an animal :(

In all seriousness though. Any kind of talk of evolution and "most advanced" shows blatant ignorance of what evolution is and how it works. So yeah whatever. You might want to tone down the elitism a bit and reconsider your definition of evolution.

Well, even though I identify like a demi, I totally agree with Lukar that it is a totally wrong way to look at evolution. Evolution does not give a shit about what is good or bad. It just favors any particular trait beneficial in that particular environment. So, only time will show who is actually successful right now: sexuals, demis, or aces. Of course, if you do care to know. I bet that when the results will come out, the only ones who will see them will be probably your grand-....-grandchildren. Of course, if you decide to have a child yourself... And if they decide... and so on.

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Therefore I consider demisexual persons as those, who are the most evolutionarily advanced true humans, because they have reached the farthest distance from being instinct driven animals.

Uhm... what.

No.

It's not better, just different.

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Pink Fluffy Dragon

Oh my bad, I didn't know we were excluding 99% of the people in someone's life. Sure demisexuality is more like sexuality...or at least half of it...well I'd call it a tie at that point.

I don't think marriages work based on purely physical stimulation. I would say it's more like...

Sexuality: Instincts are triggered by physical stimulation followed by cognitive stimulation.

One night stands might follow your view a bit better, but those don't really count since we're thinking of more long-term relationships. After all, it takes time to get to know someone's mind, and it's only fair to compare the 3 sexualities on equal ground.

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It seems that there is never ever any box, of which my thoughts are not outside.

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I am looking at it from a different point of view.

Asexuality - no sexual instincts exist, they cannot be triggered.

Sexuality including demisexuality - sexual instincts exist, but they are triggered differently.

Sexuality: Instincts are triggered by physical stimulation

Demisexuality: Instincts are triggered by cognitive stimulation.

Cognitive stimulation is not less than physical stimulation, it is different.

Those promiscuous jerks, who are responsive to physical stimulation, usually are mindblind to the cognitive stimuli.

This is not entirely accurate. An asexual can be triggered by physical stimulation if by physical stimulation you mean physical touch and physical sensation. the difference comes down to sexual attraction not immunity (so to speak) to physical stimulation. Asexuals are not sexually attracted to people but can still be physically aroused by the physical actions people engage in. The same can be said of demisexuals as pertains to physical arousal and physical stimulation.

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The evolution of the human species was the evolution away from the determination by instinct and towards the cognitive control by rationality.

Ummm, no, no not really. Yeah, we gained higher thought processes through evolution but evolution does not have a goal. It is a trial & error process of mutated genes. If those mutated genes end up benefting the being, then that being may survive long enough to have a chance to pass on those good genes. Rationality became a human quality because it worked for our ancestors.

But if I'm wrong, someone correct me.

Asexuality - no sexual instincts exist, they cannot be triggered.

Bullshit again. Look at the front page. It says nothing about sexual instincts, only sexual attraction.

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Therefore I consider demisexual persons as those, who are the most evolutionarily advanced true humans, because they have reached the farthest distance from being instinct driven animals.

No, no, no, you've got this all wrong. Asexuals are the most awesome ones - because while other people spend valuable time going "now that one's hot", we have more time to think about advanced things like cake, cuddling and porn. Except some of us do find people "hot", but eh, I'm sure I'll change my animalistic ways any moment now.

Then again, if I didn't have "animalistic" instincts, I'd probably starve to death while fangirling, and that would just be sad. Ah well, never wanted to be a "true" human, anyway. Non-human animals are great! (And not much like robots at all, because you know, sentient beings and stuff). There are even animals that are monogamous - does that mean monogamy is undignified and "animalistic", too?

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure there are demisexuals who are not monogamous and/or sexually attracted to more than one person at a time.

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Pink Fluffy Dragon

I don't think marriages work based on purely physical stimulation. I would say it's more like...

Sexuality: Instincts are triggered by physical stimulation followed by cognitive stimulation.

Eh...I don't know.

I would say it's more like...

...

Breaking it down like that is seriously over-simplifying things, though.

Yeah, all that stuff *points at what you wrote* sounds more detailed and accurate and stuff.

For all the useless crap I posted I was really only aiming for 2 main points. Making a big deal out of stuff like that ^ didn't seem important towards my goal, so I just used Maruli's words and went with it.

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I'd also like to add that I also identify as demisexual. There is one person in my entire life who I've felt sexually attracted to and that's the same person I love and am in a romantic relationship with. Outside of the relationship I feel pretty much asexual because I just do not register people as sexually attractive. Within the relationship I feel like any other sexual and I experience all the wonderful ups and downs that any other sexual relationship goes through.

So yeah, personally I have no issue with the word demisexual and I feel it's quite spot on as far as labels go.

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