Pornography Addiction and Gray/Asexuality

[Gareth]

Hello everyone :)

I joined this forum a few weeks ago from the BBC article about asexuality that I'm sure many of you have seen or heard of by now. My immediate reaction was "that's it, I'm asexual!" because, in all honesty, asexuality perfectly described my lifestyle. I'd never felt a sexual attraction to another human being -- I can't see people that way. Call me noble or call me broken, that's just how I am. However, I wanted to make sure I'd explored all of my options. Hear me out; I don't intend to be offensive, nor do am I trying to say that there is no such thing as asexuality. I believe there is. I'm have no desire to belittle the community here, or make anyone feel as if they haven't found themselves, because I don't think this applies to everyone -- just to me, and I'm willing to bet at least a few more here as well. Perhaps this has even been brought up before! In that case, if I have nothing new to say, even just contributing to the discussion would make me happy. :)

Anyway, I came here because I recently discovered that I am, in fact, addicted to pornography. I'd toyed with the idea for years, trying to quit on and off. At a certain point I even accepted it, but it didn't really hit me as important because it wasn't something that REALLY mattered, in my mind. I also didn't view pornography as serious addiction material, mostly because I didn't know the science behind addiction. After doing an extensive amount of reading on the subject of addiction, I've come to the conclusion that pornography and food are probably even MORE addicting than hard drugs, or at least can be addicting to a wider demographic [everyone.] And I want to share this knowledge with this community in the hopes that some people who are still confused [asexuality doesn't quite fit their description, or isn't satisfying in terms of describing who they are and what they want from life,] may come to understand as I have, that the problem may very well be addiction. The more I learned about my addiction, the more it described me. I have low to no libido, and have never looked at anyone sexually. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I'm gray most of the time -- except for some highs and lows, it's pretty rare for me to feel excited about something. It's not that I'm bummed, more that I'm... neutral. About everything. Enthusiasm doesn't seem to come naturally. But anyway, that's me, and I want to CAUTION against anyone jumping to conclusions. This may not be your answer, but it's certainly helped me in fighting my addiction -- knowing why, and not blaming yourself, is key. So anyway.

Here are the basics: generally speaking, the human brain is wired to want food and to reproduce. It has to do with the programming of the most primitive section of our brain, which is in fact also our so-called "reward center." This is where, when we have a particular experience, we are rewarded with dopamine -- the chemical that makes us want to do things, and causes them to be pleasing in return. It's our motivation. So, it's not hard to see that reproduction and nourishment would be on the top of the list. Anyway, here's what happens: we have the experience, are rewarded with dopamine, and our brain strengthens the connection we used during that activity so that we remember it better. Each time we do that activity, the connection gets stronger and stronger, and we are rewarded with more and more dopamine through the execution of said activity [whether it's looking at pornography, or eating, or drugs -- whatever.] Over time, since the neurons in that pathway are constantly bombarded with dopamine, they become desensitized to it -- that is to say they lose some of their dopamine receptors. This means that each time you do the activity, looking at porn, for example, you're getting less dopamine -- which pushes you to want to do it more. Your dopamine LEVELS might be fine, and are probably even high -- it's just that your neurons can't get as much as they used to, even though you're doing the same thing you always did. This is what pushes people to look at more intense, unique, and odd forms of pornography, and to want saltier, fattier foods. They're more rewarding, more stimulating, and provide you with a larger dopamine rush. It's also what causes many people with addictions to feel generally unenthused about everyday life things, like I mentioned earlier, the grayness that I experience. A beautiful sunset should make you feel good, but it just doesn't for me... even though I want it to.

Eventually, the activity you're addicted to becomes the path of least resistance for your brain for getting dopamine. None of the other things in life seem to feel that good anymore, and keep in mind, this is -not- generally a conscious thing! It's not like one day I decided "well, being around my friends isn't making me feel as good as masturbating. So I'll go do that." It's an underlying process, not one most people can put words to. I didn't even make the connection until I started reading about it; I thought I was just a chill sort of person who doesn't get excited much. Now I know.

I'm writing this two days into my experience. It's difficult, but I imagine it will become moreso as time passes. And I will be sure to report back with progress, to prove [or disprove!] if this is actually the problem. I hope anyone who's read this has done so with an open mind, and I hope anyone worrying that asexuality is not the answer [or, not the whole answer,] finds this enlightening. I'm not a very good writer, so I've just tried to sum up what I've learned, but there are some very good articles and videos that I'd like to share regarding pornography addiction [which also describes all addictions pretty well, including addiction to food.] It's helped me understand how and why, finally, people regard them as true addictions. I hope they're helpful :)

Explains the mechanics of addiction, and why porn and food are especially so. I recommend watching the six-part video series on the right; it's what got me interested.

Your Brain on Porn

An article by Gary Wilson further explaining things

Intoxicating Behaviors: 300 Vaginas = A Lot of Dopamine

If you have critique or comments, I'm more than happy to hear them! I apologize if I'm a bit incoherent, I'm in a somewhat-anxious state of mind, and am finding it difficult to organize my thoughts, but I hope you can get the general meaning behind it. Thanks :)

[Member33070]

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[Ukulele Narwhal]

I'm not quite sure I understand what you're saying, but I find it interesting.

The part I'm unsure about it where exactly you're saying that the asexuality fits into this.

I understand the part about addictions and the science behind them and whatnot, but I feel as though you didn't really explain how you thought the asexuality played into it.

Perhaps if you worded it differently?

Also, don't be afraid to step on a few people's toes: if it's your opinion/experience, then stand behind it!

I would love to understand what you're trying to say here.

[Gareth]

Augenblick:

I understand where you're coming from, but I think, at least in my case, it's an addiction.

And I'm not trying to say that porn is evil, or that anyone who views it has a serious problem, but there's some very solid logic behind how sex works in the brain, and how something such as pornography exploits a built-in mechanism intended to help us survive. It's not something that ANYONE should feel guilty about. How I see it: our reaction to porn is natural and expected, but we don't have a way of coping with the characteristics that make porn dangerous: its availability [it's free,] its variety [you can see hundreds of naked women/men and never have to stop,] and its perfectness. Our reward center [the brain we developed early on] is built to say "hey, I like this, I want as much of it as I can get while I can," but has never had the need in the past to say "that's it, I've had enough." Keep in mind, I've used porn for the past eight years of my life. That's what makes me nervous about the widespread acceptance of porn. If we're being entirely honest with ourselves, the social acceptance can be attributed to the simple fact that so many people use it. That doesn't necessarily make it beneficial, however. I think the openness about sexuality and sex in general is a GOOD thing, but I think pornography has gotten a free pass to ride that wave simply because it is based on sex, when it may not be the best thing for us in the end. I'm not saying it is, or it isn't, I'm only saying it's worth considering that it's not. I enjoy it too, I won't deny that -- but it's safe to say that not everything that feels good, is necessarily good.

Ukulele Narwhal [:D] :

First of all, awesome, hahaha. I laughed when I read your name :P I recently got into mandolin; I was going to start with ukulele [Eddie Vedder's Ukulele Songs got me into it] but I ended up going with mandolin first because of his song Rise. I'm sure that makes me super unique, because it seems like half of everyone who plays mandolin started because of that song, but hey.

Anyway... what I'm trying to say is, I came here because I thought I was asexual. But there were conflicts that I had, and I just don't think I can be alone. For instance, I still WANT to have sex, I just don't have the drive for it. I don't seek it out, and I am uncomfortable with the situation being presented to me. But I do like porn, and I only like straight porn.

To sum it up, I feel I may have confused my low libido with asexuality, at least initially. I'm going to test out NOT using porn for at least a month and see where I'm at, and I'll draw some actual conclusions at that point. I have reason to believe this IS this issue, because I was and have been a heavy porn user for years now. A few months from now, my dopamine levels and sensitivity should [hopefully] be back at reasonable levels, and then I will see where I stand. But I wanted to throw this out there as a possibility for others here who might share my distress. :)

[canurel8?]

I understand that pornography can be addictive (although it isn't always), because my husband (a sexual) was addicted. He lied to me about it, it made him "gray" (not gray-A), and he acted irresponsibly because of it. I think what you're trying to say is that overuse of porn makes you less interested in real sex with real people, because the thrill of the escalating fantasy is more intense than "ordinary" sex typically is, kind of like a drug.

I do wonder, though, how old you were when you think you became addicted. You said you've neve been sexually attracted to anyone, so that really does sound asexual. Most sexuals start feeling sexual attraction to others at puberty, so it seems like you would have experienced some sexual attraction at some point. For example, I now see I'm a demisexual, and that's because I can honestly say I've never been sexually attracted to anyone besides my husband. At age 17, he would have been glad to have sex on our first date, but I wasn't interested until we were very close. It wasn't because I thought it was wrong, but because I just didn't care to. Even now, friends want to know if I think this guy or that guy is hot, and I don't even know what they're talking about!

Anyway, just a thought. I hope you can figure out for sure what's going on with you. My husband found a great therapist to determine why he had a predisposition for addiction, and it helped him tremendously. Sexual or asexual, addiction isn't a good thing.

Best of luck,

Mari

[MiniLo]

And I'm not trying to say that porn is evil, or that anyone who views it has a serious problem, but there's some very solid logic behind how sex works in the brain, and how something such as pornography exploits a built-in mechanism intended to help us survive. It's not something that ANYONE should feel guilty about. How I see it: our reaction to porn is natural and expected, but we don't have a way of coping with the characteristics that make porn dangerous: its availability [it's free,] its variety [you can see hundreds of naked women/men and never have to stop,] and its perfectness. Our reward center [the brain we developed early on] is built to say "hey, I like this, I want as much of it as I can get while I can," but has never had the need in the past to say "that's it, I've had enough." Keep in mind, I've used porn for the past eight years of my life. That's what makes me nervous about the widespread acceptance of porn. If we're being entirely honest with ourselves, the social acceptance can be attributed to the simple fact that so many people use it. That doesn't necessarily make it beneficial, however. I think the openness about sexuality and sex in general is a GOOD thing, but I think pornography has gotten a free pass to ride that wave simply because it is based on sex, when it may not be the best thing for us in the end. I'm not saying it is, or it isn't, I'm only saying it's worth considering that it's not. I enjoy it too, I won't deny that -- but it's safe to say that not everything that feels good, is necessarily good.

But you are making a judgement call and assigning a moral value to something that is inherently neutral. What is good or bad is how it's used: is it being used as a tool to shame, a means of escaping responsibility? Or is it being used to normalize a group or practice that otherwise faces ostracization? Is it used as a healthy sexual outlet? Is it used as a means of personal expression for the individuals involved in producing it?

Those are the kinds of thoughts and questions you should be asking instead, IMO. The misuse of a tool isn't at the fault of the tool itself, but the user, so you can't take something you perceive as a problem that you are personally facing and apply it to the whole industry, because there are going to be large numbers of people who do not identify with your stance or understand your issue whatsoever.

Yes, I can understand the "everything in moderation" argument, but again, that's the responsibility of the consumer, not the product. Ways I think the situation can be improved? One, accept porn for what it is, and accept that it's not going away any time soon. Two, accept that people consume and enjoy it. Accept that they consume and enjoy porn at varying levels, and do not assign a moral value to that rate of consumption. Three, understand that peoples' taste in porn says little about how they treat their partners, their family, and groups of people in the real world. Four, educate yourself about where you're getting your porn from, and be sure that you're purchasing an ethically-made product. Support the producers and companies that treat their actors well, and avoid ones that partake in dubious business practices.

If you personally don't do any of those things, then it's a safe bet that you're, imo, doing it wrong. :P

Re: the addiction aspect, I'd be careful with diagnosing yourself with what's really a clinical condition, but if you feel that lowering your rate of consumption would improve your life, then who is anyone else to stop you? But again, don't extend that logic to everyone else on the face of the planet. Not kosher.

[Alison Gross]

At least if one is in a relationship, I think the yardstick to measure whether porn is okay or an unhealthy addiction is whether it makes the relationship better or worse. If it's harming the relationship and you can't bring yourself to stop, that's probably an addition. Over the years, my partner and I have both experienced some degree of porn addiction (and I'm demisexual so it can happen to a gray a) and for us it was definitely unhealthy as watching the porn made us less interested to have sex with each other. It also caused me to have negative feelings about sex because of how women were portrayed and because when I'd be with him I'd feel like a porn actress and start semi-subconciously faking things (not orgasm, things like sounds and poses, etc.)because that was how I now believed sex was supposed to look. Many years and therapies later, I'm not using porn in what I believe is a healthy way, using it to look for ideas of things I'd like to do with my partner so I'm eager to see him when he comes home and, if the actors say or do things I feel are degrading, I turn it off and find a different video to watch (sometimes this takes MANY failed attempts). I agree that a lot of the porn out there is bad and damaging (adolescent boys being exposed to image after image of surgically altered women until they become convinced that is the body type they want is one of my major soapbox causes)but that porn itself is not inherently evil. The point of my story is that porn can be used in both a healthy and unhealthy way.

A good quality hamburger from time to time probably won't harm most people but a steady diet of McDonalds quarter pounders is a bad idea. Problem, our society is so saturated with McDonalds quarter pounders that it becomes people's go to food far too easily and I think we can make a similar analogy about porn. The analogy is particularly apt because there has also been extensive debate about whether McDonalds is legally liable for health effects caused by their food or if the responsibility rests on the customer to exercise their own restraint and I've seen similar debates made about porn. I'm not sure where I stand on that issue. I think both sides have valid points. A final random thought: the nature of porn has changed significantly in (semi)-recent years, since it's gone almost entirely to video and many, many studies have been done about the negative effects of television so, even if we don't think porn is bad from a moral standpoint, video porn specifically is probably still addictive/unhealthy in the same way that Barney or any other television is.

[MiniLo]

A good quality hamburger from time to time probably won't harm most people but a steady diet of McDonalds quarter pounders is a bad idea.

That's kind of an awful analogy; your personal bias is quite evident.

I would say porn consumption could be likened more to diet period. There are countless flavors and varieties of food, and countless ways they're presented and eaten. Some people are vegetarians, some people are diabetic, some people are allergic to wheat or nuts or shellfish, some people can go on 1000 calories a day and maintain a healthy weight, others can consume 4000 calories a day and maintain a healthy weight. Wanna know why? Because it all depends on the individual in question: their lifestyle, their body chemistry, their genes. It's pretty asinine to say that a ban the consumption of strawberries in every developed nation on the planet would benefit everyone just because you're allergic and they make your tongue swell up and face itch. That's, 1. assuming humankind is one homogenous mass that is chemically identical to you, and 2. well, extremely arrogant.

Guess what I'd liken a bucket of KFC chicken smothered in BBQ sauce to? Probably crush videos. Ethically dubious depending on the creature in question, and probably best avoided for the sake of everyone involved.

[Gareth]

MiniLo, I respect what you're saying, but I also disagree. I'm not trying to put anyone on the defense nor am I trying to make them feel bad about anything, especially themselves. I started this thread in the hopes of maybe explaining some things, and pointing someone in a direction that is, at least, worth considering.

The one issue I take with your viewpoint is that I don't see porn as inherently neutral. I'm not saying anything about the moral quality of porn, nor do I intend to. I do, however, believe that it's exploitative in nature, and that is the single issue I'm trying to bring to this discussion. You're right, in that it is up to the individual to decide what is appropriate when it comes to consuming just about anything. That doesn't mean a product isn't intended to exploit. I come from a marketing family [print ads, specifically,] and have heavily studied graphic design, so I'm very keen on marketing and how it's used to draw people in [often without them knowing,] and really, it all comes down to chemistry. Porn, drugs, food, whatever it is -- it's no different. It's literally designed to make you want it. It's not a conspiracy, but any right-minded business wants you to keep on wanting more.

In terms of porn and food, however, there are some very sound psychological mechanisms that make addiction very, very easy, and THAT is what I think makes it dangerous -- not simply because "it's porn, and porn is bad," or anything like that. I have no moral issues with porn whatsoever, but I think it's important to know what's happening on a psychological and physiological level to make an informed decision.

I also want to clarify something: I'm not making any claims about masturbation here, I'm only addressing pornography.

Canurel: I'm not sure, to be honest. I think the actual addiction started maybe two years ago. I've used porn since I was 13 or 14, but not as frequently as lately. A lot of emotional stress led me to using it as an escape, where it became a habit, and now that I don't need it anymore... I'm finding it difficult to give up. Honestly, I don't know whether I'm asexual or not, or demisexual. That may be... all I know as of yet is that asexuality doesn't entirely fit me. So it's possible that I am demisexual, but I want to go a good few months without porn and see where I'm at then. There's a lot of testimonial and discussion about libido [toward people in real life] during and after heavy porn use, and it'll be interesting to see if I stay where I'm at, or if I have a different outlook when that time comes.

[Member33070]

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[Gareth]

I think you're very right about that: if it is an addiction [like you said, it's not for everyone,] you require more and more intense things to get the same feeling. That can be attributed to a loss of dopamine receptors in the reward center; over time, the neurons will have desensitized themselves to dopamine, leading to the need for more stimulation to achieve levels comparable to the ones it was used to. That's where the variety tends to come in as well [personal tastes aside, because I do think there is a taste element to it too. I don't think that variety can be solely attributed to addiction and its effects.] Porn, unlike anything we've ever known as a civilization [except in rare cases,] gives us a limitless amount of what the primitive part of the brain perceives as [new!] potential partners. Obviously I know, consciously, that I will never have sex with anyone on my screen. That's my cerebral cortex talking [the rational, more advanced part.] What happens, though, in how a lot of porn users [including myself] view porn, is the desire to keep going. To look at more pictures, videos, to find new "partners," essentially. It's called the Coolidge effect (information), and it's been observed in almost all mammal species. It's natural: it's a mechanism that encourages us to spread our genes as much as possible. The problem is, when the options are limitless [like in porn,] it has a tendency to perpetuate itself:

In an addiction scenario, porn feels good initially because it activates dopamine, the chemical in the brain which makes you want to do something. The Coolidge effect causes us to want to view more porn [more people, more partners,] in order to, in our primitive brain's view, create genetic diversity and ensure the survival of our offspring the best way possible. Since the frequency of viewing is increasing, our system is flooded with more and more dopamine, which causes our neurons to lose some of their sensitivity to it. As a result, we need more and more stimulating porn to achieve the same dopamine "high." You can see how the cycle has the capacity to continue unchecked.

In this case, I think knowledge is the solution. Once you know what's going on, it becomes a lot easier to bring your porn viewing to a level you want it to be at [if it's not.] Personally, the level I wanted to be at changed the more I read about it, but that level won't be the same for everyone. Which is why I'm not saying we should ban porn, cast it into the depths, or anything extreme like that. I simply think it's a good thing to know more about how it works and why it feels good. Same goes with drugs, in my mind. They should be legal, but in an ideal world, everyone should know how they're affected by them before making the decision to take them or not take them.

Bottom line is, we weren't built to cope with limitless, sexually-available partners, because it just doesn't make sense in real life, and hasn't ever existed or been so available ever in human history. That's the problem that porn presents to society. People viewing porn aren't inherently addicted, but porn itself is inherently addictive.

[Member33070]

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[Gareth]

Yeah, that's very true. Although females show the same tendencies [albeit not to such extremes,] I think that aspect of sex drive is more programmed into men than women. There's nothing negative with that, it's just how things are. And it's not all black and white for guys, either. I can say that while I do like porn, it's not [at least for me] the kind of thing I look for in real women. I definitely separate porn from real life, what is it is simply stimulating and nothing more. Additionally, it doesn't do anything for me unless they're both genuinely enjoying it anyway. I never understood the appeal behind the brutal stuff, or where the girl [or guy] is simply being used. It's a serious turn-off for me at the very least, and generally just bums me out about some of the negative aspects of life. [the dog-eat-dog sort of thing.] Yet there is definitely a visual component to what makes it enjoyable for me.

So it definitely has to do with your sex, sexuality, and all the other things that make someone who they are as well!

[MiniLo]

The one issue I take with your viewpoint is that I don't see porn as inherently neutral. I'm not saying anything about the moral quality of porn, nor do I intend to. I do, however, believe that it's exploitative in nature, and that is the single issue I'm trying to bring to this discussion.

If you're going to go that route, then you need to understand that all marketing, no matter what it's for, is designed to "exploit" (I think you're using the wrong word, here). If you didn't want someone to buy and desire your product, you wouldn't... advertise for it. That's just the way capitalist consumerism works regardless of the product, I'm afraid.

And don't get me wrong, I hate the American consumer culture probably twice as much as the next guy. And porn does fall under that umbrella, but I mean, when you think about it, how is Nike any different? Or Walmart? Or Apple? Or any other company that shoves its product in your face 24/7 and takes advantage of some poor souls elsewhere? Just because their labors aren't evident in the final product that you're buying, doesn't make it any less problematic.

Most addictive personalities aren't made by the addiction, they're born with a predisposition. And the sad fact is that knowledge isn't going to change this at all-- knowing that you have an addition doesn't make you quit. It makes it a little easier, but the withdrawals are just as powerful, and the highs just as good with or without the understanding of what your body is doing. If you're born to a family of alcoholics, then it's best to know that your genes have that baggage built-in, but the sad fact is that there are always going to be people just don't care. They don't care about the whys and wherefores of what they find gratifying, they don't care how much money it costs. They want it, and that's that.

And in defense of BDSM (because it's the only porn I will ever care to watch; most of the time I write or draw my own), for those of us who don't have addictive personalities, there isn't any such thing as "more", really. The interest plateaus and you're more or less happy staying there indefinitely.

[mycatdolores]

for those of us who don't have addictive personalities, there isn't any such thing as "more", really. The interest plateaus and you're more or less happy staying there indefinitely.

Exactly. I've stayed at my level of porn consumption pretty steadily for the past many, many years.

[Gareth]

If you're going to go that route, then you need to understand that all marketing, no matter what it's for, is designed to "exploit" (I think you're using the wrong word, here). If you didn't want someone to buy and desire your product, you wouldn't... advertise for it. That's just the way capitalist consumerism works regardless of the product, I'm afraid.

You're right, most or all marketing is exploitative, but it's not necessarily exploiting an addiction mechanism built into the human brain. And, if think consumerism might be an addiction -- I might be with you on that; it certainly has potential. But that's completely beside the point... I'm talking about porn. The two are linked, no doubt, but the fact that porn is a sexually-based product gives it an edge over regular marketing. Sex sells. Oftentimes products use sexual imagery to make their ad especially exploitative. Sex is built into us from the getgo. We want as much of it as we can get; that's why it's so successful.

I'm no better than anyone else, and I don't strive to be. I'm not even trying to separate myself from porn users, because I am one. I just have no other way to refer to what I'm talking about :P it's not something to be guilty about, it's not something to be ashamed of. It is something that we as a society need to think about, simply because we should be questioning everything that has a significant impact on our health, for good or for bad.

I do not think anyone should jump to conclusions about their porn usage as much as I don't think anyone should jump to conclusions about whether or not they're asexual, demisexual, and so on. But I do disagree with you. I think knowledge is the best solution to almost any problem; when you know how your body and mind works, you are better equipped to deal with it and change in the way you wish to, IF you wish to. If you don't wish to, you're no better or worse in my eyes, nor should that even matter. I really don't care to press my will on anyone, this answers a lot of questions for me, and it may apply to others, too. I think considering all of your options is important in growing. :)

I knew posting this here would be somewhat inflammatory, but that's the whole point. I'm new here, and maybe I don't have the right to talk as if I'm not, so perhaps I crossed that line. If I did, I apologize, I just think it's a relevant issue. And please try to take what I'm saying at face value -- I'm not weaving in secret meanings or judgments, I'm only trying to speak candidly.

[MiniLo]

I knew posting this here would be somewhat inflammatory, but that's the whole point. I'm new here, and maybe I don't have the right to talk as if I'm not, so perhaps I crossed that line. If I did, I apologize, I just think it's a relevant issue. And please try to take what I'm saying at face value -- I'm not weaving in secret meanings or judgments, I'm only trying to speak candidly.

Lol I don't pay attention to post counts or join dates. And I'm speaking candidly also-- just pointing out where I perceive flaws in your argument. And yes, I quite dislike the 'pornographic exceptionalism' that so-called egalitarian, reasoned, and socially-aware folk seem to cling to, when all it really is most of the time is sex-shaming in disguise. Porn isn't a unique, magical unicorn in form or function, nor is it something new that was invented with the digital age. Porn's older than dirt, and we need to keep that in mind when talking about it and its perceived "uselessness" to humanity.

[Alison Gross]

A good quality hamburger from time to time probably won't harm most people but a steady diet of McDonalds quarter pounders is a bad idea.

That's kind of an awful analogy; your personal bias is quite evident.

I would say porn consumption could be likened more to diet period. There are countless flavors and varieties of food, and countless ways they're presented and eaten. Some people are vegetarians, some people are diabetic, some people are allergic to wheat or nuts or shellfish, some people can go on 1000 calories a day and maintain a healthy weight, others can consume 4000 calories a day and maintain a healthy weight. Wanna know why? Because it all depends on the individual in question: their lifestyle, their body chemistry, their genes. It's pretty asinine to say that a ban the consumption of strawberries in every developed nation on the planet would benefit everyone just because you're allergic and they make your tongue swell up and face itch. That's, 1. assuming humankind is one homogenous mass that is chemically identical to you, and 2. well, extremely arrogant.

Guess what I'd liken a bucket of KFC chicken smothered in BBQ sauce to? Probably crush videos. Ethically dubious depending on the creature in question, and probably best avoided for the sake of everyone involved.

I'm not trying to say people are all the same. Nor am I saying porn should be banned. All I'm trying to say is that porn CAN cause harm if misused. I personally hate mcdonalds but I am a sucker for pizza delivery. I'm sure there are people out there who can eat mcdonalds every day and come to no harm. However, this is not the average person. I understand that talking about averages is dangerous and runs the risk of sounding stereotypical but it's also impossible to talk about most topics with out running that risk. Most of the people I have known personally who have watched porn had suffered some ill effect from it. This doesn't mean every person who does will and I certainlly wouldn't want it banned as it can have positive effects as well. I, personally, do think there is a problem with how much porn there is on the net and how easy it is to access, not because I think people are going to watch it and be brainwashed into rapists or something like that. I just worry that people will watch it at a young age, before they've developed their own ideas about sexuality and, later. not be able to separate what they really think from what's in the videos. Again, I'm not saying it would happen to everyone. I just know enough people who have had an experience like this so that it worries me. I fail to see how feeling something carries a risk, even a significant risk, is the same as saying it will automatically cause harm to every person on earth.