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Sexuals... does your attraction feel different depending on the target?


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Regarding sexual fluidity as someone who been through the label of being straight, gay, and bi... I definitely see certain conditions in the past which makes for the changes in my orientations over time shifting through those three labels where straight takes the most of my history before I turn asexual history. It's because I was somewhat affected by relationships between people of different biological genders and the overall environment within me while my preference shifts dramatically over time. It's possible that it is influenced by genetics, but I can't verify. I certainly was dominantly heterosexual, but I won't deny that I did have bi and gay tendencies, I never had any romantic or sexual experience while I knew my feeling changes sometimes. After puberty finished for me, I turn completely asexual and asocial.

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It is called homoromantic at AVEN.

Did you mean homoromantic asexual?

Yes.

I think we can agree that just because we might "feel" something doesn't mean it's really true. I think that's the original point.

As for orientation, perhaps it's just the best we can decide on at any give time. So, when I was young, up to say 14, I would have identified as asexual, had I known the word. Then I felt hetero. Then between 15 and 25, I realized I was actually gay all along. I still orient myself as gay or lesbian, because the only people I ever really feel like having sex with are women.

Yeah sure you could not be heterosexual, and through that you were, but I would say that this is a different example because you didn't had a feelings like heterosexual has about the other gender you were just confused that you might had those feelings as you didn't yet know what they are feeling like. But there are legit cases of people who had exclusively heterosexual feelings for say 23 years, and then they had felt sexual attraction, and felt sexual desire for somebody of they gender so he is bisexual now, if he enjoys beautiful penis just as much as some wet hole, and his desire is ~of the same level for both. I would say that such person was heterosexual before because he didn't differ from any other heterosexual.

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Okay, I got off track, because my main comment was to say, Can we seriously have an AVEN wide vote on the definition 'does not experience desire to have sex with another' I agree completely with Beachwalker (and others) here.

That's what I'm saying. People are using a definition of sexual attraction that requires sexual desire, but in reality those two things are separate. And from the way it looks, when you separate them, its the desire, and not the attraction, that most people consider the litmus test for asexuality. So why not just be clear about it?

English is not my native langage, so I may be wrong.

Isn't there a too big part of will in the word "desire"?

I will rather say "does not experience drive/thrust to have sex with another".

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