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vegancannibal

Ex- sexual now celibate

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vegancannibal

Has anyone on here ever been sexual and become disallusioned with this lifestyle and decided to become celibate?

This has just happened to me after every relationship I have had has been glued together by sex. We get on well for a long time until the sex decreases or becomes routine, then the quality of the relationship wanes and the pressure to 'put' out becomes too much. Then when we start arguing, we realise that we actually really don't get on and we split.

Having sex with your partner just so he won't be in a sulky mood and ruin the rest of the day is crap. Knowing one day that I will eventual say goodbye permanently to sex when I get older, I want to know that my relationship is so much deeper than sex and will bond us together. When I told my younger partner that approaching the menopause I may not be interested in sex as that is common in women, he wanted to know why I had resigned myself to this and said that he expects me to be having sex as a pensioner. What a bloody cheek.

Due to emotional and physical problems my sex drive is practicallly non-existent, but on a more personal level, I am looking for a soulmate who will love me in a romantic way even if he knows there will be a possibility that sex may practically never happen.

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LarryT

YES!! Thank you for bringing this up!

I was beginning to wonder if anyone else felt that sex wasn't all that or at very best that it was more trouble than it was worth.

That's how I ended up here despite not identifying as asexual. I was hoping to find a place where celibacy wasn't weird and didn't matter. People in the "normal" sexual world seem to have no concept of someone who would want a relationship that is not based on sex, such that you end up with either shallow, platonic friendships or far more often, just stares of disbelief.

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BaronTheCat

I know a (heterosexual) young person who's has brought up the same topic. She thinks it's weird that guys who obviously have nothing in common with her, are interested in her because they like how she looks. She's told me that she'd rather have a non-sexual relationship with a soulmate (best friend or something), than a sexual relationship with the wrong person. She is not less sexual than the average girl, I think, but is very critical towards (western?) cultural romantic behaviors. The guys who ask her out are looking for a girlfriend, not for one night stands, but they seem to believe that if the sexual attraction is there, everything else will work out fine.

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