Snao Cone Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 15 hours ago, Ita25 said: So based on that I guess I'd fit into all those categories of attraction except for Sexual. Not sure where that lands me in the asexual realm though. I've been labeled as Heteroromantic Gray A. Does that sound right? 1 hour ago, MichaelTannock said: That depends: A Greysexual (Gray A) experiences Sexual Attraction sometimes, whereas an Asexual doesn't experience Sexual Attraction at all, and a Sexual experiences the average amount of Sexual Attraction (They would like to have sex around twice a week or more). I just want to add that "sometimes" experiencing sexual attraction would mean it's rare enough that a greysexual person would feel they have more in common with asexual people than the majority of sexual people. Some people also choose to identify as grey based on other things they do like that aren't sex or sexual attraction per se, but are often associated with sex by sexual people (like sensual activities - kissing, cuddling, making out, etc, as some examples). 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sage Raven Domino Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 On 1/15/2019 at 3:17 AM, Snao Cone said: ..."sit on his face" is an expression for wanting a guy to perform oral sex, and rarely means actually sitting on his face. Oops, TIL a non-69 way of 'going down', thanks for the info Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MusicalMind Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Wow, this is somewhat helpful while also being more confusing. It's a good thing I love reading! *scurries away for more research* Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chairdesklamp Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 A lot of stuff has been censored in this and related threads, probably for being graphic, but it apparently helped when it was still visible. There IS a graphic component necessary in the explanation, after all. Anyway, I really don't understand anything beyond aesthetic as far as looks-based. Most everything is based on personality/shared interests/feelings for me. I'm essentially homoromantic and single. In 2019, your choices are cruising in person, crusing online, or ending up alone, because no-one even has the patience anymore. I was saying to an allo guy a half hour ago about this "all your picture tells me is if you showered before taking it and how to pick you out of a lineup." He seemed to like that. But how much is looks-based for most people? I made my own thread for romantic and am not getting answers. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
codystrum Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 Okay so what if you want to be affectionate and intimate only with someone who is physically (and emotionally/ personality) attractive to you BUT you have NO desire for it to get sexual at all. You might even get physically aroused - usually, though, no libido/ no drive or it is fleeting- but mentally - not interested in sexual gratification - but would love to fall in love with that beautiful (to you) person. Has happened to me all my life. Often ended in sex that either was unfulfilling or changed to close friendship. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted April 30, 2019 Share Posted April 30, 2019 12 hours ago, codystrum said: Okay so what if you want to be affectionate and intimate only with someone who is physically (and emotionally/ personality) attractive to you BUT you have NO desire for it to get sexual at all. You might even get physically aroused - usually, though, no libido/ no drive or it is fleeting- but mentally - not interested in sexual gratification - but would love to fall in love with that beautiful (to you) person. Has happened to me all my life. Often ended in sex that either was unfulfilling or changed to close friendship. You could see that as aesthetic or sensual instead of sexual. If simply no interest in the sex is there (outside of feeling the expectation based on what you've been taught is normal) then it's simply asexual. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lost-the-key Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 Let me put this in my own words so I can make sure I understand this. If I see someone and I like how they smell, how they look, how they act, what bands they are into, ...etc and this makes me want to have sex with them this could be considered sexual attraction and if I feel this I am probably not asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 26, 2019 Share Posted May 26, 2019 I'm sexual. I'm never attracted to individual people though. Boobs turn me on. Penises turn me on, at least the thought of them do. (Individual ones can be ugly tbh.) I have a general desire for sex, and would want to be having sex if in a relationship. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nikoral Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Sexual attraction- intrinsic relativistic conceptualized internal responses from external feedback that one perceives to have the prosperity to engage into sexual activity given the option due to the cravings from the parts due to mental stimulation that evokes such arousal in which that is in agreement with subjective arousal' Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 @Nikoral A belated welcome to AVEN! Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a Courage The Cowardly Dog Cake, Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paris— Posted June 26, 2019 Share Posted June 26, 2019 (edited) Your responses seem interresting. 🙂 In my opinion sexual attraction can be compared to a sudden urge of chocolate. It’s in you. When I see sbdy I look at him to the same way I would look a Louvres Museum statue. Edited June 27, 2019 by Paris— Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IDK who I am tho Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 On 6/9/2019 at 2:00 PM, Nikoral said: Sexual attraction- intrinsic relativistic conceptualized internal responses from external feedback that one perceives to have the prosperity to engage into sexual activity given the option due to the cravings from the parts due to mental stimulation that evokes such arousal in which that is in agreement with subjective arousal' I d k maybe my reading comprehension fails me but I can’t follow this... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IDK who I am tho Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 On 5/25/2019 at 11:00 PM, humantoafault said: I'm sexual. I'm never attracted to individual people though. Boobs turn me on. Penises turn me on, at least the thought of them do. (Individual ones can be ugly tbh.) I have a general desire for sex, and would want to be having sex if in a relationship. Can I ask, what do you mean by “I generally have a desire for sex” Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IDK who I am tho Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 On 5/25/2019 at 9:58 PM, lost-the-key said: Let me put this in my own words so I can make sure I understand this. If I see someone and I like how they smell, how they look, how they act, what bands they are into, ...etc and this makes me want to have sex with them this could be considered sexual attraction and if I feel this I am probably not asexual. Yes, as I understand it attraction for sexuals isn’t that much different from attraction for asexuals (they both like people into the same bands, they both can feel attracted to people visually, in general attraction feels the same etc) but sexual people at some point want to have sex with them 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffy Femme Guy Posted July 7, 2019 Share Posted July 7, 2019 On 4/30/2019 at 12:37 AM, codystrum said: Okay so what if you want to be affectionate and intimate only with someone who is physically (and emotionally/ personality) attractive to you BUT you have NO desire for it to get sexual at all. Still asexual. 'Sensual' and 'romantic' attraction can happen independently of sexual attraction. The quoted post describes what an ideal relationship for me would be like. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ProudtobeAsexual Posted July 10, 2019 Share Posted July 10, 2019 All the world talks about sexual attraction. I never felt anything. That's normal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 On 7/7/2019 at 10:29 AM, reimagine stardust said: Can I ask, what do you mean by “I generally have a desire for sex” Meaning that for me sex and a relationship goes together, to me the ideas of love and romance and all that good shiz is tied to also having a sexual aspect to the relationship. Doesn't mean I'm obsessed with it or nothing, though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AuntieGrAyce Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 I rarely show interest in someone. When I do, it takes me forever to get to know them, and even then (to quote Murray Head) "I keep my kicks above the waistline, sunshine." because of body and self esteem and low libido and just being weirded out issues. What's weird is I don't have a problem with an exam from the doctor. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NickyTannock Posted July 28, 2019 Share Posted July 28, 2019 @AuntieGrAyce Welcome to AVEN! Incidentally, it is a tradition here to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's a 'Funny Bears Bakery' cake (all edible), Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simplybeourselves Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 (edited) I consider myself a sexual because I have an *interest* in having sex. But with regards to attraction and desire ... it's the word 'feeling' that I have a problem with. As an alexithymic person, I don't know what it's like to feel sexual attraction ... not because I'm not sexual ... but because I don't know what it's like to feel. Can one have sexual attraction and sexual desire without feeling such attractions or desires? I certainly have desires ... but I wouldn't say that I feel a desire for anything. My emotions are non-conscious ..... I'm not aware of any of my feelings ... I don't' feel my feelings. But to not feel a feeling is to simply not have feelings. Emotions can be non-conscious but feelings can't. That's the way I see it. So I consider myself a sexual person, hypersexual at times, but I do get very confused by the 'feeling' aspect. I don't understand what a feeling is outside of touching stuff physically or having hunger pains, etc (and I even get my hunger and thirst mixed up.). Edited July 30, 2019 by simplybeourselves Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 @simplybeourselves Hello fellow alexithymic Not many people even know it exists! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simplybeourselves Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 I'm also aphantasiac. Even less people know about that:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 4 minutes ago, simplybeourselves said: I'm also aphantasiac. Even less people know about that:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia I'm the exact opposite, hyperphantasiac. There are a few aphantasiacs here though. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simplybeourselves Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 So I guess .... if sexual attraction requires feeling sexual attraction then I don't have sexual attraction. And if sexual desire requires feeling sexual desire then I don't have sexual desire. But I maintain that I do have both sexual attraction and sexual desire ... I just don't feel them. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simplybeourselves Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 @Telecaster68 I think I do. Which is why I identify as a sexual. In fact, I think I'm hypersexual. Most of the time. As far as I'm concerned I'm motivated to have sex with people because I have an interest and desire to have sex with people. I just don't feel such a desire. My question is twofold: (1) Does having sexual attraction necessarily require feeling it? (2) Does having sexual desire necessarily require feeling it? I know there are plenty of times when it's merely for stress relief ... but as I don't feel anything it's difficult to draw the line between having sexual attraction and just having sex for stress relief. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 Wanting X is a feeling, no? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simplybeourselves Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 @Telecaster68So I can figure myself out and understand the questions related to this thread topic better. P.S. When I click the multi-quote button it doesn't seem to do anyhting and I can't figure out how to quote normally. Can somebody help? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
simplybeourselves Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 @Homer I don't feel any of my desires. For me, they're just non-emotional dispositional states... intellectualized values. Preferences. Likes and dislikes. Motives. I don't really feel them like most people do... I don't know how to explain it. I spent most of my life thinking everybody was the same as me until I realized that the phenomenology is different for most people. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 43 minutes ago, simplybeourselves said: P.S. When I click the multi-quote button it doesn't seem to do anyhting and I can't figure out how to quote normally. Can somebody help? There's a button that reads "quote" right next to the "+" that does the multiquotes (which works just fine for me) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AceMissBehaving Posted July 30, 2019 Share Posted July 30, 2019 1 hour ago, simplybeourselves said: So I guess .... if sexual attraction requires feeling sexual attraction then I don't have sexual attraction. And if sexual desire requires feeling sexual desire then I don't have sexual desire. But I maintain that I do have both sexual attraction and sexual desire ... I just don't feel them. But you have them, isn’t that all that matters? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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