What Qualities Attract You To A Person?

[PineWolf]

I'm curious :) They can be really strange or common traits.

[Jillianimal]

Hm, it depends on what kind of attraction you mean. When it comes to aesthetic & romantic, I really can't pinpoint it. To be sensually/tactically attracted to someone, they tend to have to be or do something admirably awesome, cute or something that musters up sympathy. Interpersonally, they're self aware but not crippled by self consciousness & are more outgoing than I am, even if they aren't really a people person. They probably also have some kind of quirk that they don't even bother hiding.

[Lady Heartilly]

Generally, I find myself attracted to guys who talk to me and not at me, which is a much rarer quality than you might think. In other words, he would listen to and respond to what I say and come up with relevant remarks instead of trying to argue against everything I say just to prove himself right and boost his own ego. Other traits I'm attracted to include making me laugh, being a bit awkward and self-conscious, and liking geeky things such as video games and cartoons.

Aesthetically, I generally prefer the Asian look--black hair, brown eyes, tan skin, and not too tall. I say "Asian look" because a guy does not necessarily have to be Asian to have these features, but I do find Asians extremely attractive. Of course, personality comes first and foremost for me, so if a guy has all of the above personality traits and none of the aesthetic traits, I will probably still be very attracted to him.

[DigitalTotem]

physically speaking 5'2--5'8 dark hair, and when possible fit/petite (none of this actually matters, but it is my 'type')

the important stuff

A fun personality, quirky, an appreciation for Montey Poython and the restraint not to quote it every 5 minutes, smart enough to make me feel stupid, oh and she should have great contempt for Stephanie Meyers and sparkling vampires finding Anne Rice's works to be far superior. << the last is optional, you don't have to like Rice but you must hate Meyers or no deal. Oh and liking theoretical physic would be cool but any sufficiently complex area of science floats my boat. M theory and Quantum Gravity are my favorite theories right now but this is always changing lol

If this is you let me know so I can get a ring on it lol

jokes aside if the woman above exists that would be amazing :-)

[Naosuu]

Depends on the kind of attraction. Since I'm fairly introverted and generally keep to myself, I only see the people who have the courage/balls/social grace(?) to come talk to me and keep initiating the first few conversations.

There are generally two types that consistently catch my eye: the tall, slim-ish types (guys: especially if they have some sort of baggy top and slim pants Oh god old school manga...) or, specifically for guys, a somewhat stocky build. I do like seeing people with some muscle definition (but not body builder types... no offense to anyone, but body builders scare me!).

I do remember this one classmate I was really strongly aesthetically attracted to. Apart from having a defined body, he also had a minor case of bow legs which I found really attractive. I wish I could say this in a way that doesn't make me sound like a freakish stalker, but I could just watch him all day if I were allowed. Very wonderful to look at.

Of course, while the above helps ease the process along, being a genuinely good person and personality are the most important qualities to me. ^_^

[Philip027]

In general, their intellect and thoughts.

[Wolf Stories]

Pokemon... they gotta' like Pokemon.

[Pandora's Fox]

Braaaaaaainz.

I mean, intelligence, intellectualism, morals, lack of emotional outbursts, ability to see things in more than one way, tenacity, adaptability (that is probably the only thing I admire in humans), resilience, independence, kindness, modesty, honesty and perhaps looks.

Those are a few of the qualities I notice, seek and admire.

[SJM]

Perhaps most evidently, I like introverted personalities. Intelligence and self-awareness are important qualities to me. A strong inclination toward romance is necessary if I were to ever enter a relationship. I'd hope to have some related interests, but which specific ones are unimportant. As far as physical qualities are concerned, I'm not really picky. I really love long, dark hair though. Someone as skinny as me would be ideal. Finally, for whatever reason, I am only attracted to Caucasians (no other ethnicity in the least).

I have no reasoning behind any of this; it's just what I am naturally attracted to in a female. I still feel bad after putting all of that in words.

[DigitalTotem]

you feel bad haha did you read mine I'm pretty sure what I described doesn't exist

[Member33070]

x

[Pixels]

For me, I think the most important traits are open-mindedness and introversion. Also, the more we have in common the more attracted I am.

Intelligence isn't too important to me, up to a certain point.

[loopytheone]

Pokemon... they gotta' like Pokemon.

Marry me now!

Ahem. Seriously though, I think it is really hard to define what makes a person attractive to me. It's a combination of physical appearance and attitude. I'd be more specific but as far as I'm concerned I don't have a type physically or mentally; I've dated big guys, skinny guys, short guys, people who are childish, mature, interested in different things, pervy... it really does just depend on the sum of all of your traits, really. All I can say is only I can judge what I find attractive! ...and my best friend, for some reason. :lol:

[Janus the Fox]

Oh heck... I think ive got a dual preference depending on gender.

I go for the shorter female, cute, emotional and hold the same interests and hold an intellengent conversation

But I also go for the taller hansome male, fitter than average ang have the same interests and is intelectural, I probably dont mind the typical feminate gay guy i suppose...

If only if I had the desire to seak these people out...

Okay physically...I like guys at least my height (5'10"), dark hair and eyes, some fuzzy facial hair, sideburns, and hair long enough to run my fingers through happily. Some piercings and/or tattoos are nice. Somewhere between muscley and squishy. Not skinny, not bodybuilder, not obese. Needs a lovely voice on the deeper side.

Personality-wise...I am seriously won over by confidence (even being egotistical and narcissistic, I kind of love it), honesty (even blunt honesty, yes yes), above average intelligence, good sense humor that agrees with mine, and a burning passionate love of music. I also like adventurous, spontaneous, fun-loving people, who like to try new things. And I would prefer a guy who didn't try to change me or dominate me.

I'M YOUR MAN :lol: minus the tatoos at least

[MinusCelsius]

Intelligence and dedication. Nothing is more attractive than someone dedicated to make a scientific discovery in a field I find amazing, but basically suck at myself. That's the important part - being WAY better than me at something. I need something to admire. Things like fame or wealth or popularity don't impress me, so it doesn't matter if it is an obscure skill that has little or no practical use in everyday life, or if it is something to build a career on. As long as I'm somewhat interested in it and no good at it myself, it works.

Physically... I can't say. I have no type, never had one, and been attracted to people with very different looks.

[Narval]

Mmm. I don't really think that I'm ever romantically attracted to anyone, though the characteristics that attract me to both genders, as people, are the same. I look for passion and -- for lack of a better word -- uniqueness. I like to associate with people who will take me places -- intellectually, ideologically and physically. People with whom I can share experiences and adventures.

[Alison Gross]

I always said having common interests was the most important thing for me but, due to the difficulty of this when I was younger, it's become much more pronounced. You could almost say I now have a fetish for nerds or geeks. If I know a guy likes video games, dungeons and dragons, Magic: the gathering, etc. it automatically makes him much more attractive than someone who doesn't share these interests with me. I'm super serious so I like someone who can make me laugh but also find a strong sense of self very attractive, as in someone who doesn't buy into mainstream social conventions. Finally, and this one is kind of weird too, for me to feel sexual attraction for someone, they have to push my boundaries, even to the point of making me mad. I met my partner because we were both in a group of people who were having dinner together first week of college (on the way to a dungeons and dragons game)and he and I happened to get in a big fight about whether or not it was a good idea to date someone of a different religion. And I was hooked because I found it really hot that he didn't feel the need to get all PC with me and wasn't afraid to actually speak his mind (he's now really embarrassed about this fact). To this day, what really get's me going is for him to tease or needle me. Obnoxousness (in a non-insulting way) is a kind of fore-play for me.

[PineWolf]

Thanks for your input every body :)

I'd have to say, for me, since I'm really quiet I tend to like people who show interest in me and consistently try engaging me in conversation (and NOT because they're just naturally over-social). Also, people who show care towards me. Of course, kindness as well, and the ability to make me laugh. It tends to only be the more persistent people that ever get at all through my shell. If no effort or interest is shown I'd prefer to just ignore them and carry on in my elusive and quiet ways.

[*~Mango~Blaze~*]

I like a guy with a quiet nature (strong- silent type I guess) that also appreciates a good joke and can be my friend as well as crush

[Azure.Providence]

Thanks for your input every body :)

I'd have to say, for me, since I'm really quiet I tend to like people who show interest in me and consistently try engaging me in conversation (and NOT because they're just naturally over-social). Also, people who show care towards me. Of course, kindness as well, and the ability to make me laugh. It tends to only be the more persistent people that ever get at all through my shell. If no effort or interest is shown I'd prefer to just ignore them and carry on in my elusive and quiet ways.

I'm very much like that as well, though, it takes me awhile sometimes to sort out the genuinely interested people from the social butterflies who will talk to just anyone. One person I've known for a few years once said to me that when we met it took her a few months just to get me to say 'hi' to her :lol:

[so-much-random]

A kooky sense of humor.

and of course, thoughtfulness, kindness, not being a total jerk. That sort of thing.

[Acro]

Thanks for your input every body :)

I'd have to say, for me, since I'm really quiet I tend to like people who show interest in me and consistently try engaging me in conversation (and NOT because they're just naturally over-social). Also, people who show care towards me. Of course, kindness as well, and the ability to make me laugh. It tends to only be the more persistent people that ever get at all through my shell. If no effort or interest is shown I'd prefer to just ignore them and carry on in my elusive and quiet ways.

I'm very much like that as well, though, it takes me awhile sometimes to sort out the genuinely interested people from the social butterflies who will talk to just anyone. One person I've known for a few years once said to me that when we met it took her a few months just to get me to say 'hi' to her :lol:

Seconding you guys. I've gotten a little better at opening up, though I might come off as someone not interested in talking. Which is not the case; I'm just very shy and have trouble looking people in the eyes when speaking with them, which I know is misleading because eye contact is such a big part of social interaction. The less eye contact the make the more anxious you seem about the situation. Generally I can look in the direction of the face of someone I'm speaking with, but if I'm feeling attracted to whoever I'm talking to I have even more trouble doing that and only seem to be able to look at them when they're looking somewhere else entirely.

As far as physical traits in men I like any of the following: broad shoulders, being tall [which makes a large percentage of men considering I'm just under 5'3"], angular facial features, and... I guess.. the sound of your average male voice. There's something about the deeper quality that I really like the sound of. But I'm not limited to liking guys that only have these traits. They're just recurring physical traits I've noticed in the people I've found aesthetically appealing.

Aand back to personality traits. I seem to like guys that have a good sense of humor, which is a pretty broad spectrum. If they can make me smile or laugh, then I like to be around them, even if it doesn't necessarily mean interacting with them. And then there's the typical common interests area, decent level of intelligence, and the general decency of person.

[Aspiecat]

physically speaking 5'2--5'8 dark hair, and when possible fit/petite (none of this actually matters, but it is my 'type')

the important stuff

A fun personality, quirky, an appreciation for Montey Poython and the restraint not to quote it every 5 minutes, smart enough to make me feel stupid, oh and she should have great contempt for Stephanie Meyers and sparkling vampires finding Anne Rice's works to be far superior. << the last is optional, you don't have to like Rice but you must hate Meyers or no deal. Oh and liking theoretical physic would be cool but any sufficiently complex area of science floats my boat. M theory and Quantum Gravity are my favorite theories right now but this is always changing lol

If this is you let me know so I can get a ring on it lol

jokes aside if the woman above exists that would be amazing :-)

LOL - DigitalTotem - How does a height of 5' 4", clothing size of US 6, an absolute LOVE of Monty Python, an IQ of 150, a hatred of the "Twilight" series but an admiration for "The Vampire Chronicles", and a tendency to watch documentaries on string theory (plus any Physics/Chemistry docos) sound?

Oh - one problem - I have fair hair! Obviously it's not meant to be.

hehehe

[Vampyremage]

Things in common would have to be number one for me. Of course it doesn't have to be everything, but I'd someone shares a couple of major hobbies that's at least going to make me want to associate with them. Often the more things in common, the stringer the attraction.

Second would have to be intelligence. I dint expect a potential partner to be a tenuous (I certainly am not) but they need to be able to hold an intelligent conversation. If they are incapable of incoherent conversation and actually thinking for themselves, I'm simply not going to be attracted.

Third would have to be an open mind. I couldn't be with someone innately judgmental of the decisions that I or others make as it goes complete against my core philosophies in life.

Appearance really doesn't factor into it at all. While I do have my aestetix preferences, they don't factor into potential partners at all really.

[Aspiecat]

First of all, I love this question. I think AVEN is the one of the few communities - online or 'real-world' - where a question such as this can be asked and no-one is going to say, "What?!? How can you be asexual AND attracted to someone? Isn't that an oxymoron?"

I'll bloody give YOU an oxy, you moron.

Secondly, my type. Hm....enough intelligence to keep me keen on the conversations, and being smarter than I is no problem - just don't make me feel less smart. Any field of work/interest is fine, but I have a 'thing' for historians, linguists, physicists/chemists, general literary types....anyone who is happy to spend HOURS at museums, theatres, galleries and beaches - but the last ONLY in the winter, for walks.

I HATE summer. I loathe the heat so someone who is a cool freak like me is best.

Most importantly, someone who is kind, caring, thinks about others and is willing to defend me when others say things about me that are cruel, unkind, and/or untrue.

What else? Physically, I'd have to say tall enough to make me feel secure in a shallow way, and strong enough to make me feel secure in a not-so-shallow way. I'm 5' 4" so being taller than me is NOT difficult. Okay....what next? Well, red or dark hair, and facial hair. When I say facial hair I don't mean the new-wave, namby-pamby styles that look like a super model's string bikini. I mean a good, old-fashioned BEARD and MOUSTACHE. Clipped neatly - we don't want to find breakfast in there! - but nice and tidy. No body-builders need apply, ta muchly, but an appreciation of keeping fit and healthy without having to go camping and running all the bloody time is good.

Sorry. I tend to be loquacious.

[Member33070]

x

[RandomGirlK]

I really dont know, the main thing is something very hard to describe. Just a feeling I get about someone, one really strange thing is that I had a bit of a crush on a member on a forum I spoke to once or twice for about 10 minutes, who made about 20 posts, before I found out they were actually the friend in real life I have a crush on and neither of us knew it!

I just seem to know that I like these people, from my first sight of them, and strangely enough, all of the people who I have talked to, after feeling like this about, share something in common with me.

Personality traits I really like in people, are just generally being kind and a good person, making me laugh, and be there for eachother-I want someone to be there for me when I need them, and I can be there for them when they need a friend. They also must like cuddles, cause I like cuddling a lot. I dont think I could have this kind of relationship with someone who has too strong beliefs that they like to talk about, the thing that put me off a crush of mine was that they always bought their opinions on religion into conversations, and it got very irritating.

Looks generally dont have any set pattern between any of the people I like. Most of the time when its someone who I have a crush on over the internet and I havent seen them before, when I do see a photo, I am physically attracted to them...just because they are them, thats what makes them pretty. Most of the people I like are quite pale though, and I like big eyes (I met a guy once, he had the most stunning blue eyes), and the best feature about my crush at the moment is her beautiful smile, shes adorable. I like short women though, but men to be taller than me, but because I am short myself, I have never met a man shorter than me.

[Altair]

I don't really have set standards on what I "has" to be, but I do have standards on what she "cannot" be:

-A beeotch

-Checking off a list of expectations such as:

"is he nice? oh he's too nice, nope not happening

can he sexually please me on the first date? nope? then no"

Etc..

Yeah, but I'll make an exception to anything if it's worth it. I'd prefer the girl be physically cute, but that's not required (I certainly prefer "cute" instead of "hot"). It'd be nice if the girl played videogames and had nerdy passions to games such as halo, mass effect and assassin's creed lol but of course none of that is necessary, but it'd be nice!

Fat Princess: CAKE FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DigitalTotem]

First of all, I love this question. I think AVEN is the one of the few communities - online or 'real-world' - where a question such as this can be asked and no-one is going to say, "What?!? How can you be asexual AND attracted to someone? Isn't that an oxymoron?"

I'll bloody give YOU an oxy, you moron.

Secondly, my type. Hm....enough intelligence to keep me keen on the conversations, and being smarter than I is no problem - just don't make me feel less smart. Any field of work/interest is fine, but I have a 'thing' for historians, linguists, physicists/chemists, general literary types....anyone who is happy to spend HOURS at museums, theatres, galleries and beaches - but the last ONLY in the winter, for walks.

I HATE summer. I loathe the heat so someone who is a cool freak like me is best.

Most importantly, someone who is kind, caring, thinks about others and is willing to defend me when others say things about me that are cruel, unkind, and/or untrue.

What else? Physically, I'd have to say tall enough to make me feel secure in a shallow way, and strong enough to make me feel secure in a not-so-shallow way. I'm 5' 4" so being taller than me is NOT difficult. Okay....what next? Well, red or dark hair, and facial hair. When I say facial hair I don't mean the new-wave, namby-pamby styles that look like a super model's string bikini. I mean a good, old-fashioned BEARD and MOUSTACHE. Clipped neatly - we don't want to find breakfast in there! - but nice and tidy. No body-builders need apply, ta muchly, but an appreciation of keeping fit and healthy without having to go camping and running all the bloody time is good.

Sorry. I tend to be loquacious.

Are you kidding, you are either psychic or one of my ex's is trolling me.

Dark hair and a red beard, 6'0" you must be trolling me, or I'm a lil' paranoid.

[cotidiano]

I like ‘em scrawny and short probably because I share those traits. Nice teeth are always a plus. This goes for both males and females, although I’m less picky about girls. I like the androgynous types.

They have to be talkative, a good conversationalist. Have a sense of social tact. I like people who are passionate about learning, and who are talented in any respect, whether it be music, art, science, math, languages, etc. Ambition is a big must. I gravitate towards those who are voracious readers and who don’t believe in boredom. If they’re insecure or clingy, that’s an added bonus. I love people who smile and laugh at anything.