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Jon Snow

Feeling sexual attraction, does it mean living in a world of temptation?

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Faelights

OMG this makes me want to revive a glorious, glorious old post from PiF. (Dang I miss PiF, a lot)

I took a screenshot of it. I don't remember where the original post is. Enjoy.

pipiippipi.jpg

The thing is...an asexual will never think the sexual things about someone else. It's not really important to you guys what exactly sexual attraction is honestly, because you're never going to feel that base feeling or the after effects of arousal, fantasies, desire, etc. If you're never feeling sexual feelings at all for anyone else...you're pretty unmistakably asexual.

If there's some level of sexual feeling for other people, you are some sort of sexual. Whether it's gray or demi or full sexual or whatever you want to call it is up to you, and ultimately, I'm not so sure it's important to pin down which is which. Just follow your heart and what you want. You define you, not your labels.

Oooo, nicely carved wood bedframe...

And... OH IS THAT LACE? FUCK, I WANT TO TRY THAT ON. I wonder if I would look as good in it though...

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Larien

OMG this makes me want to revive a glorious, glorious old post from PiF. (Dang I miss PiF, a lot)

I took a screenshot of it. I don't remember where the original post is. Enjoy.

pipiippipi.jpg

I don't know what PiF was talking about... that bed linen is horrendous :lol:

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Faelights

OMG this makes me want to revive a glorious, glorious old post from PiF. (Dang I miss PiF, a lot)

I took a screenshot of it. I don't remember where the original post is. Enjoy.

pipiippipi.jpg

I don't know what PiF was talking about... that bed linen is horrendous :lol:

Yeah, I have to agree... I'm gonna have to question his taste in textiles...

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Vampyremage

At the risk of icon_deadhorse.gif...

That to me is like asking "well if you smell coffee but don't want to go get one right now, how can you still think it smells good?". Thinking coffee smells good = attraction. Wanting to go get a coffee = desire. Sometimes the two go together, and thinking coffee smells/tastes good and periodically wanting coffee are certainly related. But you can think coffee smells good without wanting to drink the coffee you smell, and you can want a coffee without smelling some first.

Sure, sometimes you smell fresh coffee and you decide you'll have one right now, thanks, but there's no rule that says that's the way it always has to go down.

As far as differentiating sexual and aesthetic attraction, put crudely, it's the difference between "Oooooh, pretty!" and "I'd hit that." It's unmistakeably sexual in nature to me, and it was unmistakeably sexual to me for years before I had any sexual experience. I hate to put forward "you just know" as an explanation, so I've mulled it over, and really the best I can do is that it's a form of attraction that's tied in with sexual arousal and sexual fantasy, so even when you feel it on its own, you know it's sexual. The closest I can get is that it feels like sexual fantasy feels, even if there's no specific fantasising/mental-scenario-building going on.

Edit: I walked away from my computer for hours midway through that post, and in the meantime Augenblick said pretty much what I'd typed, but hey, now you have it from two people ;)

I like the coffee analogy!!

I would go so far as to say that aesthetic attraction doesn't exist... I think it was Bad Karma who said that he'd prefer it be called aesthetic appreciation... attraction is attraction is attraction, for the most part. Exactly where that line is, I'm not sure anyone knows.

I might actually have to agree with that statement. When I say aesthetic attraction, what I really mean to say is aesthetic appreciation but I go with the terminology prevalent on AVEN. When I see someone I consider aesthetically attractive there isn't really a draw towards that person (except in the sense that the things I notice often relate to my own interests such as various forms of body modification), its more an appreciation of some feature or combination of features that individual possesses. Of course, everyone's experience is likely to be different in that regard and I'm sure there are plenty of gradients of aesthetic appreciation/attraction.

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sexualwithasexual

Even as a sexual, I still learned so much from Augenblick, Olivier and Skullery! Thanks so much for clarifying this attraction business. Like Augenblick, I usually just find myself wanting to get extra physically close to someone if the attraction grows to a certain level. Chest to chest close. I often find myself questioning why I experience this. Do I want a relationship? Maybe not. Do I want sex? Perhaps, not sure. I even think it's spiritual, rather than a base thing or an instinct. So I'd be willing to bet that other than the "desire" to get close to a person I'm sexually attracted to (coffee slurping sounds here) most everyone, asexual or sexual experiences this type of thing. Could be wrong. But I do read on AVEN about a lot about asexual crushes and squishes, and I think it may be very similar, really. Minus the desire to slurp. Ehem.

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luvtheheaven

This was a very interesting thread to read through. I know it's been like 11 months since the last comment... but... I just joined this forum and... I have to say, that picture was not that crude or anything, nothing was shown more than like an episode most TV-14 TV shows would feel comfortable showing noawadays...

But um... it's a woman. And as a straight female (maybe asexual? Still figuring that out lol), my question is: So... what's the equivalent for us? I don't think too many sexual females say "I'd hit that" or "I really want to bang that", not even in their own heads. The example of the sexual person looking at the attractive woman in a sort of sexy type of outfit, saying, "I would fuck that all day long and ride her like a race horse" is turning her from a woman into an object and I have a feeling many sexual people, both male and female, would not feel exactly that same way. Many would not just be willing to actually "fuck her", since in real life she is a complete stranger and simply a model or something in a photograph, but okay, so I guess those people are the demi/semi/grey example types... despite the fact that the same exact phrasing is left there, just with the added "but they got to know her first" but seriously, the sentiment is probably quite a bit off for quite a few people. And mainly... what would be the equivalent for a straight female or even possibly a gay guy? I think both sexual gay guys and sexual straight females have slightly different views on the idea of sexual attraction though.

I know I am a fangirl, a vidder and involved in a lot of the fandom stuff, various different TV show communities of crazy fans (but I'm one of them so I mean that in the kindest way possible). And one of the shows I'm involved in the fandom stuff for is Smallville, even though the show is now over. It wasn't too long ago when it wasn't and even now people do plenty of stuff about it. Anyway, my point is... there was this one girl/woman, who is from the UK and is hugely sexually attracted to Tom Welling (the actor who played Clark Kent on that show). She would go through the episodes to find times when Clark/"Superman" was running in his jeans and where you could kind of see his "junk" bulging a little, and then zoom in on that spot to share with other fangirls as one of the main things she'd do. Other people would watch videos of hers that focused on that kind of aspect of him and would say "Ah so hot!!" and stuff like that, and to be honest, I always couldn't really tell if she was doing it more to be funny and everyone else kinda going along with it in a kind of "this is all some big joke and yeah he's hot but it's not like the bulge in his pants is really extra hot" kind of attitude... or if really most straight girls find that kind of thing super hot and sexy the way straight guys are supposed to find boobs super sexually attractive.

You know? Does my question make sense? I'm just kind of wondering... if there could be some kind of clarification about the exact thoughts for straight women. Even the statement about attraction in the chest-area vs. in the "downstairs" area - did you mean "downstairs area" even for the straight women? Are sexual straight women feeling their sexual attraction literally there?

I've found actors, such as Tom Welling on Smallville, to be attractive before, and yes he's definitely asthetically pleasing to me. But I never can be sure if it's a sexual attraction to the way he looks or not. Sometimes when he's particularly "hot" I want to smile more, I don't feel detatched like I'm looking at some nice piece of artwork. I don't want to hang photos of real people, not even actors and models, on my wall - it's not that kind of aesthetic attraction/appreciation, not exactly... it's just that I like how they look. And usually when it's a guy I think I do feel differently than when it's a girl although I'm not sure, and even if I don't feel differently, that might mean I'm bisexual, not asexual.

I know no one can answer the "am I asexual?" question, and I'm not asking you to answer that for me.

But I am curious about the "Sexual attraction for straight females vs. straight guys" question. :P

Maybe someone can shed some light on the issue?

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Lady Girl

I've read a few things on this and it is often said that males are attracted in a visual way and females are more interested in how the person makes them feel. I personally only know one former coworker who acted sort of like the girl interested in the bulge as you describe it. Most of the girls I know find it more of a curiosity as opposed to a turn on.

If sexual attraction is the precursor to sexual activity with someone, in my estimation, straight males and straight females are not experiencing the same thing by any means. Part of the reason I say this is that generally speaking, the male desires the female and the female feels that desire for her, and this is commonly taken to be experiencing sexual attraction.

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aligerous

I'm late to this post, and while there have been some great analogies, especially about the sense of smell and the cup of coffee, my personal experience is a little different and so I thought I'd share.

Sexual attraction for me has very little to do with how aesthetically pleasing I find a person. It happens as a result of something--an image, an action, a concept, a smell, contact, et cetera--that produces sexual stimulation. Like if I'm watching a TV show and I find an actor appealing there is no physical response in me. But if that actor puts his or her face close to another person, or removes clothing it will create a physical response.

The physical response is like being hit by lightening--only pleasant. It's instant, and a jolt runs though my body. All my nerves feel like they are alive or tingling. Waves of very enjoyable zaps settle in my, um, private areas. If more of whatever caused it continues the sensation will grow and it becomes very hard to think. If nothing else happens it will fade and everything returns to normal.

I do not usually want to have sex with the person that caused the sensation, unless what is causing it is physical intimacy, but usually it's just a flash on TV, a moment in a store, etc. If I'm seeking the sensation, such as by reading erotica, watching adult videos, and so on, I usually have zero desire to participate in the activity. I just want to watch/read and then touch myself.

There has occasionally been a person that makes me feel this way almost constantly. I have never understood what it was about them, maybe pheromones or a smell? But it certainly is no indicator of any other type of compatibility! This has been very rare, maybe less than a handful of people out of everyone I've ever met.

Oddly, sometimes my body responds like this to very strange things. Sometimes I think it's a biological attempt at self soothing that just failed, lol. Like I will become extremely aroused when I'm nervous. I hate this. I hate being nervous, and if I have to do something awful like deliver a speech in front of a college class, being turned on while I do it just makes it so much worse. I find the sight of blood gross, and will avert my eyes and then become turned on. I still think it's disgusting, I don't want to have sex in either scenario, but my body acts like it does, which is just annoying.

I probably experience arousal hundreds of times a day. Usually I only act on it, alone or with another person (and with my husband it's usually alone), up to four times a day. Any more than that and injury/soreness tends to result.

Is it possible that some of the cases here are reffering to aesthetic attraction? Like just recognizing & appreciating that someone is good looking but no desires to go with it?

This is something my husband and I had confused for the longest time. He was talking about aesthetic attraction and was shocked when he discovered people ever felt anything else. I assumed he meant sexual attraction and was shocked to discover he didn't.

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luvtheheaven

It frustrates me a bit that I can't decide if I've ever felt what would count as sexual attraction before or not. And it frustrates me even more to know that as a straight female, it may be more abiguous or mean something very different than what it'd mean from the straight male perspective.

But thank you for your answers. I appreciate the attempt to help.

I just wish I could figure out if I'm asexual or completely normal for a sexual straight female. At the moment I've never tried sex or even mastrubating and have no real desire to have sex or to mastrubate other than a slight curiousity to hopefully see what all the hype is about lol. I've only ever kissed someone once - well a few times in a row with a tiny bit of tongue but it was all only on 1 night, about a month ago. I will probably be trying the kissing thing again tomorrow night.

Are people supposed to feel sexual attraction or sexual desire or something while kissing? Because the last (and only) time I kissed this guy I felt absolutely nothing. I was expecting some sort of extra connection, a feeling that would make me enjoy the kissing or something, but it all just felt so pointless and weird and not horrible but just not actually positive in any way. It might just be because it was my first kiss. And I need to do it more before I appreciate it. Or... it might be because, when it comes down to the truth, I'm asexual.

I wish I could figure myself out more easily, that's all lol.

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Kitty Spoon Train
Part of the reason I say this is that generally speaking, the male desires the female and the female feels that desire for her, and this is commonly taken to be experiencing sexual attraction.

Heh, I guess this would explain why being a male demisexual makes dating so abysmal. :lol:

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jojo2003
I just wish I could figure out if I'm asexual or completely normal for a sexual straight female. At the moment I've never tried sex or even mastrubating and have no real desire to have sex or to mastrubate other than a slight curiousity to hopefully see what all the hype is about lol. I've only ever kissed someone once - well a few times in a row with a tiny bit of tongue but it was all only on 1 night, about a month ago. I will probably be trying the kissing thing again tomorrow night.

dear Emily,

I don't know what is normal and what not. Please know that there is no clear distinction between asexual and sexual persons (hence the demi-sexual field). It is a gliding scale. Some asexuals do not experience any sexual need or are even repulsed by any sexual action. Some asexuals do not mind sexual actions or will engage in them if they find someone very special.

We are all very different, sexually and non-sexually. Even sexual persons can have a high or a low sex drive.

Just start trying the kissing part and see what you enjoy. If you don't enjoy something, discard it. Maybe you like the cuddling, maybe some more. If you try, you will find out.

Good luck and don't do anything you do not like.

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Verocyn

The level of enjoyment you get from kissing is necessarily primarily related to who you kiss, not kissing as such. Some people are bad kissers, some are awesome and some you kiss cause your drunk enough for it to make sense. You should probably not disregard the option all together just from one experience, all though its clearly a sign that you may be asexual I guess.

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aligerous
The level of enjoyment you get from kissing is necessarily primarily related to who you kiss, not kissing as such. Some people are bad kissers, some are awesome and some you kiss cause your drunk enough for it to make sense. You should probably not disregard the option all together just from one experience, all though its clearly a sign that you may be asexual I guess.

This is very true. I did not enjoy kissing the first several people I kissed. I was more focused on the weirdness of the contact compared to dry kisses. I also felt absolutely nothing the first time I had sex. Usually I have to be aroused before the kiss, or else the only thing I'm thinking about is the feel and taste of the person's mouth, and without desire that actually seems fairly icky, lol.

To the OP: Since I posted my description of sexual attraction I have learned that attraction and arousal do not normally happen as frequently for most women (I have no idea about men) as they do for me, and that I may actually have a physical disorder that causes constant arousal called PGAD. Because I feel some level of warmth/sensation in the genital area almost 24/7. So don't take my description of attraction as normal for a woman. I probably would not have learned about this if this topic had not been discussed, so thank you for starting it. Hopefully this new knowledge will help me work out some bedroom compatibility problems with my spouse.

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Chook

This was a very interesting thread to read through. I know it's been like 11 months since the last comment... but... I just joined this forum and... I have to say, that picture was not that crude or anything, nothing was shown more than like an episode most TV-14 TV shows would feel comfortable showing noawadays...

But um... it's a woman. And as a straight female (maybe asexual? Still figuring that out lol), my question is: So... what's the equivalent for us? I don't think too many sexual females say "I'd hit that" or "I really want to bang that", not even in their own heads. The example of the sexual person looking at the attractive woman in a sort of sexy type of outfit, saying, "I would fuck that all day long and ride her like a race horse" is turning her from a woman into an object and I have a feeling many sexual people, both male and female, would not feel exactly that same way. Many would not just be willing to actually "fuck her", since in real life she is a complete stranger and simply a model or something in a photograph, but okay, so I guess those people are the demi/semi/grey example types... despite the fact that the same exact phrasing is left there, just with the added "but they got to know her first" but seriously, the sentiment is probably quite a bit off for quite a few people. And mainly... what would be the equivalent for a straight female or even possibly a gay guy? I think both sexual gay guys and sexual straight females have slightly different views on the idea of sexual attraction though.

To me (and I'm pretty new at trying to figure all this out myself) it's similar to the photos some of my friends post on Facebook... Some cowboy stripped to his jeans staring into the camera with smouldering eyes and I'm thinking 'Aww... he's got such a pretty horse.' Firemen. Calendar guys. One of them has a thing for men in kilts (and as little else as possible).

It's pretty obvious from the posting and the comments that the women are attracted to these guys... they aren't saying 'He looks really nice, I'd like to go get a cup of coffee with him and get to know him better',' they aren't art photos merely for the sense of aesthetics, they are saying 'yum' about the guy, NOT his horse, and they found the sexual attraction enough to share it on the presumption that other straight women would find him sexually attractive too. Judging by all the 'let me go light my house on fire' comments under photos of buff firemen, I'm guessing their presumption was right.

None of those women (I think!) are looking to go out and ride a random good looking cowboy. They are looking at him and seeing something sexually appealing.

I can't describe it because I don't think I've ever felt it. My guess is, it's a bit like my memory of waiting for the grand finale of a fireworks show when I was a kid. I'd see a bunch of things go off and think 'That's the finale!'... and then there would be more. The next big thing would happen and I'd think 'OK, now that HAS to be the finale.' And it would keep going. When you finally realised what extra things there were to come, you KNEW that was it, because it was so different or so much bigger than anything before. There were more elements to it and more to see and experience. I kinda think maybe that's it for me... I know what it's like to like someone. I know what it's like to be romantically involved with someone. I know what it's like to marry someone and make a life commitment to them because you know you want to build a future together. I can keep asking myself if any of that is sexual attraction, but I'm pretty sure the answer is no, and if I ever felt it it would think 'OH... so THAT'S what it feels like!' Just like the grand finale of the fireworks display, it would have a different element you would probably only recognise if you felt it.

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luvtheheaven

I really like that answer, Chook. ;)

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wordforger

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a study with bisexual women recently that pretty much disproved that sexual women, on average, had less sexual desire than men? The only difference seemed to be that they were more hesitant to go home with a man because they were less sure that they would be sexually satisfied.

Any ladies who feel sexual attraction feel like commenting? I'm really curious.

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Lady Girl

Some of the things I've read and experience personally indicate that desire for sex can be just as strong in women as it is in men, but how attraction works for us is often vastly different. The thing I've noticed most is that if I have an emotional bond, the attraction is going to be long lasting and I am more likely to find the interactions consistently satisfying.

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Forever

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a study with bisexual women recently that pretty much disproved that sexual women, on average, had less sexual desire than men? The only difference seemed to be that they were more hesitant to go home with a man because they were less sure that they would be sexually satisfied.

Any ladies who feel sexual attraction feel like commenting? I'm really curious.

Actually, I once heard of a biological explanation on why women tend to be more hesitant. If they have sex with someone, there's a possibility that they get pregnant and thus, many women seem to be more hesitant if they really want to have sex. Women may not even think about getting pregnant, but subconsciously, they often do. A man, on the other hand, can't get pregnant and thus doesn't feel any risks in having sex with someone. Thus, he may make quick decisions to have sex with someone more often than a woman does.

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C172

I 'm just wondering...

I know, there is a lot of topic about sexual attraction, but I didn't find the answers.

Is sexual attraction really noticeable?

Is it a temptation? A frustration? A nice feelling that makes you feel more alive?

How often Do you feel it? Daily / weekly / monthly / yearly?

Yes to all of the above, and daily! I am a sexual, and long have wondered what it's like to be asexual. I imagine things being quite easier interpersonally. However, as my mother was told in her life and tells me, "Be careful what you wish for; it may come true." There's probably plenty of stuff about the A life which would be different than we imagine. Likewise, if an A were to experience sexual attraction for, say,a month, it may be very different than imagined.

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Sally

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a study with bisexual women recently that pretty much disproved that sexual women, on average, had less sexual desire than men? The only difference seemed to be that they were more hesitant to go home with a man because they were less sure that they would be sexually satisfied.

Any ladies who feel sexual attraction feel like commenting? I'm really curious.

Actually, I once heard of a biological explanation on why women tend to be more hesitant. If they have sex with someone, there's a possibility that they get pregnant and thus, many women seem to be more hesitant if they really want to have sex. Women may not even think about getting pregnant, but subconsciously, they often do. A man, on the other hand, can't get pregnant and thus doesn't feel any risks in having sex with someone. Thus, he may make quick decisions to have sex with someone more often than a woman does.

That sounds pretty likely. And the emotional bond that Lady Girl talks about might be partly due to the hope that if the woman gets pregnant, a mutual bond will ensure that the guy won't take off when a child is born. (That's the hope anyway.)

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anon_anonymous

it is never a temptation for me... maybe it has been once or twice, ages ago.

it is just another factor to experience - on some level sexual people prefer those that are attracted to. this doesn't mean that sexuals are irrational monsters, just that they are experiencing something you are not.

not just a perception, but an emotional and cognitive response to that.

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quaxlike1

I liked the analogy about how sexual attraction versus non-sexual is like color-blindness. I know plenty of color-blind guys who are able to identify "blue" once it's pointed out to them, because it usually exists in a certain range of grays, but on their own, they neither notice nor care.

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Kiboko

Good question, hard to put into words.

When I was single and in previous relationships, if I saw a man whom I was attracted to, I would think 'he's gorgeous' and look at him for about a minute, think about him for a minute and then it would be gone. It doesn't mean I wanted to have sex with him and definitely not right then and there.

Desire is something different and feeling horny can be a memory as much as a tingle. Yes, I do think about sex several times an hour, but most of the time it's part of a kaledoscope of images running through my head. They aren't all sexual. But the ones that are brighten up an otherwise dull day.

Now I'm not sexually attracted to men other than my partner. They don't compare to him, so my brain doesn't even register that they are there. Usually it's something that makes you feel more alive. Frustration sets in only when it's denied. Say you really, really like chocolate buttons. They are dangled in front of your face several times a day, but when you reach for them, they're snatched away and you're called a greedy pig. So you try not to look but you can still smell them, you can hear the bag rustling and you are verbally taunted - 'you know you want them'. You give in and again you're told, "not for you!" You'd be pretty pissed off too. I'm not talking about them just sitting there innocently and it being in your own head. I mean when it's offered and withdrawn repeatedly. People shouldn't offer to share their buttons if they have no intention of letting you have any. Just don't offer, that's ok. Sexual attraction is usually a good thing, I'm just frustrated. I do believe firmly that everyone's body is their own and no is no. I just have a problem with messing about.

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No Fate

I am a sexual, and I experience sexual attranction all the time, but I am never tempted to engage in casual sex. I *want* to have sex in the context of a proper relationship, but outside of that, I just don't do it.

I think many sexuals believe that they "shouldn't" have casual sex, but they still do it because they can't resist. That's something I never understood.

I seem to be almost never tempted to do anything... never was tempted to try drugs, never was tempted to try alcohol (I have started drinking at some point, but very little, and nobody would be surprised if I just arbitrarily stop at some point.)

In other words, I seem to be driven far less by impulses than the vast majority of people. Or something like that.

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mbw

I personally often find a disjoint between my sexual attraction and my personal attraction,

By which I mean that people I find sexually attractive I find personally repugnant, and visa versa.

This is possibly just a personal foible brought about by some childhood Freudian issue.

This perhaps implies I am not asexual, just sexually confused,

but having read (as promised) a number of posts ( a small random sample) from this site,

I don't think I am alone on this one....

However I do perhaps feel that I possibly require an unusally extreme measure of the sexual signals to trigger my sexual recognition.

It is not uncommon for a friend to indicate to me (usually annoyingly after the event) "that girl was interested in you",

and an ordinarily atractive girl is just that, ordinary, only a stunningly attractive girl will trigger sexual thoughts.

Obviously I am not a stunningly attractive Guy, so I remain in sexual limbo.

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NiTeLight
As explained on a tumblr post I came across on my dash earlier today: Sexual attraction: 'Damn, that guy/girl is hot. I want to bang him/her.

Aesthetic attraction is like: 'That guy/girl is gorgeous. I want to take a photo of him/her and hang it up on my wall'. I can't remember the exact words, as I'd really have to scroll down on my dash to find it, but that's basically the difference between sexual and aesthetic attraction.

I like this comparison. It makes more sense to me than most of the analogies I've seen.

And good response, Chook! I agree with everything you said.

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Lady Girl

As explained on a tumblr post I came across on my dash earlier today: Sexual attraction: 'Damn, that guy/girl is hot. I want to bang him/her.

Aesthetic attraction is like: 'That guy/girl is gorgeous. I want to take a photo of him/her and hang it up on my wall'. I can't remember the exact words, as I'd really have to scroll down on my dash to find it, but that's basically the difference between sexual and aesthetic attraction.

I like this comparison. It makes more sense to me than most of the analogies I've seen.

And good response, Chook! I agree with everything you said.

That first definition applies to some people...not all sexual people feel that way. Wanting to have sex with someone we find good looking is not a given.

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Vivaldi Ives

I'll add my 2 cents to this discussion, though I currently identify as grey-a and am not sure whether I specifically experience sexual attraction.

Sometimes I will see a woman and get sort of a crush on her--I'll think about her a lot and want to keep seeing her on TV, in class, wherever I happen to see her. However, I don't want to do anything with her physically. When this happens in real life, if I spend time getting to know the woman this feeling goes away pretty quickly. I'll still think she is gorgeous, but I get to appreciate her personality and can think of her more as a person and less as "eye candy." I think of this as an intense aesthetic attraction. I can't recall if I ever experience this with men, at least not recently.

With men I tend to develop feelings more gradually--I'll see a man in real life, get to know him a bit, and if he seems nice and is aesthetically pleasing, I might start to think about going on a date with him, picture myself kissing him, maybe even think that I might be willing to have sex with him if we were married...so I'm not sure if this ever goes into sexual attraction territory or stays in the realm of romantic/sensual attraction.

Long story short--like others have said, attraction and desire are different things. I don't think I've ever desired to have sex with anyone, but I might experience occasional sexual attraction or something close to it. I wouldn't consider any of the attractions I experience to be temptations.

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Lady Girl

...so I'm not sure if this ever goes into sexual attraction territory or stays in the realm of romantic/sensual attraction.

Long story short--like others have said, attraction and desire are different things. I don't think I've ever desired to have sex with anyone, but I might experience occasional sexual attraction or something close to it. I wouldn't consider any of the attractions I experience to be temptations.

This portion of your post made me think about how desire is related to attraction. For me, and I am going to guess this happens with other sexual people too, at a basic level I desire sexual interaction. When relating to people in life I experience different types of attraction. When the circumstances are right, the two go together and I want to have sex with someone. I think for me sexual attraction is the desire to have sex plus attraction to a person's personality/looks/movements plus having the right kind of connection with them.

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joesantus

...so I'm not sure if this ever goes into sexual attraction territory or stays in the realm of romantic/sensual attraction.

Long story short--like others have said, attraction and desire are different things. I don't think I've ever desired to have sex with anyone, but I might experience occasional sexual attraction or something close to it. I wouldn't consider any of the attractions I experience to be temptations.

This portion of your post made me think about how desire is related to attraction. For me, and I am going to guess this happens with other sexual people too, at a basic level I desire sexual interaction. When relating to people in life I experience different types of attraction. When the circumstances are right, the two go together and I want to have sex with someone. I think for me sexual attraction is the desire to have sex plus attraction to a person's personality/looks/movements plus having the right kind of connection with them.

Change to, "... sexual attraction is the desire to have sex plus attraction to a woman's personality/looks/movements, intensified by having the right kind of connection with her," and that's me.

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