Feeling sexual attraction, does it mean living in a world of temptation?

[anisotrophic]

5 hours ago, Marlow1 said:

We don't go past base one, she said

Uhhhhh but she still hits first base?! 🤨

Sorry, this is totally a dead thread but I wtf'd a bit on this bit.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, anisotrophic said:

Uhhhhh but she still hits first base?! 🤨

Sorry, this is totally a dead thread but I wtf'd a bit on this bit.

Lol I took that to mean she immediately shuts down any potential, doesn't even get to flirting. Not like... American teenager sexual advancement bases. 

[Marlow1]

On 8/19/2019 at 5:04 AM, anisotrophic said:

 

 

 

 

[Marlow1]

On 8/19/2019 at 10:00 AM, skullery said:

 

 

[glyders]

As a partner of a sex-repulsed ace, sexual attraction is a frustration. Same as when I didn't have a partner at all.

It's only a nice thing when there is someone to reciprocate it. Then it's an all-embracing glow of wonderfulness.

[Marlow1]

On 10/6/2019 at 9:56 AM, glyders said:

 

 

[Amknh]

So I’ve been questioning for awhile and I’m pretty sure I’m gray ace. However, I tend to overthink things. So I’ve been trying to think in the past about people I found attractive and try and figure out if it was sexual or just aesthetic. And I remember seeing someone and thinking that they were cute or attractive but when that happens I don’t remember thinking about kissing them or having sex. And then sometimes I’ll see a person in a show and think “holy crap they’re attractive.” But again I don’t think about anything sexual. Is that just the aesthetic attraction or is it just the background thing you guys were talking about? 

[KathyHoh]

On 1/14/2012 at 8:31 PM, sexualwithasexual said:

I like to compare it to your sense of smell.

I use smell and color blindness as a metaphor to explain lack of sexual attraction to sexual people. I think good description. Thanks for confirming my theory

[Thaliaaaaa]

That invisible elephant analogy is really helpful!

[LilithEve]

On 1/17/2012 at 2:47 AM, Olivier said:

At the risk of ...

That to me is like asking "well if you smell coffee but don't want to go get one right now, how can you still think it smells good?". Thinking coffee smells good = attraction. Wanting to go get a coffee = desire. Sometimes the two go together, and thinking coffee smells/tastes good and periodically wanting coffee are certainly related. But you can think coffee smells good without wanting to drink the coffee you smell, and you can want a coffee without smelling some first.

Sure, sometimes you smell fresh coffee and you decide you'll have one right now, thanks, but there's no rule that says that's the way it always has to go down.

As far as differentiating sexual and aesthetic attraction, put crudely, it's the difference between "Oooooh, pretty!" and "I'd hit that." It's unmistakeably sexual in nature to me, and it was unmistakeably sexual to me for years before I had any sexual experience. I hate to put forward "you just know" as an explanation, so I've mulled it over, and really the best I can do is that it's a form of attraction that's tied in with sexual arousal and sexual fantasy, so even when you feel it on its own, you know it's sexual. The closest I can get is that it feels like sexual fantasy feels, even if there's no specific fantasising/mental-scenario-building going on.

Edit: I walked away from my computer for hours midway through that post, and in the meantime Augenblick said pretty much what I'd typed, but hey, now you have it from two people

I got nostalgic today, and decided to look this post up again. This is the comment that helped me realize I was ace. Thank you. 

[Ceebs]

Oh daaaamn... an Olivier post haha. I remember the coffee analogy well. I wonder how Olivier is doing. Always really liked the guy. I still have a PM from him from about 11 years ago entitled 'The koans of Cupcake', which I won't explain other than to say that Cupcake Master was another one of AVEN's legendary and very... odd... members. Sally might remember Cupcake. Probably remembers Olivier, too. I've thought it was a shame Tele and Olivier didn't overlap in their time here; I think they would've got on really well.

 

Ok, I'm done with my trip down memory lane. Fucking hell I've been on AVEN too long. 😂