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sinisterporpoise

Dear Dr. Ruth: Asexuals CAN Have Orgasms

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Jillianimal

Crap, I was going to answer with:

Ruth is a little off with that first answer. Many asexuals can orgasm. It sounds like she's talking about nonlibidoists, which is someone who completely lacks a sexual drive/feelings. Asexuals just aren't sexually attracted to anyone & may or may not lack a sex drive. The asexuals who do have a sex drive just aren't directed at anybody & may derive pleasure from a sexual act.

but I'm not a member <_<

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sinisterporpoise

Generally, I'm not a big fan of calls to action, but I think Dr. Ruth should be contacted by Asexuals and perhaps someone from AVEN to let her know where she went wrong. She's considered a sex expert and if she puts out information like this, it can cause many problems.

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Oasis

It is a lot of work for little reward. I'd rather read a book too!

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Guest member25959

You can contact her via her website I think.

You do have to register to comment on the article. Thus far, only one person has done so, so now would be the time to get in if you want your comments to be seen. :P

You can receive treatment for an STD at Your Regular Medical Practitioner, Local Health Departments, or Public Hospitals. Not sure where you live. but if you want, you can find a near one on the largest and most trusted HIV dating and support community pozloving,,c o m .. they list hundreds of STD care locations

Though, just in case they disagree with anyone's comment and decide to remove it......

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The Great WTF

I signed up to leave a comment. I agree that someone needs to contact Dr. Ruth.

Edit: I am looking at her website right now and I think she DOES need to be contacted. She has other people asking her about asexuality and we don't want someone as prominent as her spreading misinformation.

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Jillianimal

Generally, I'm not a big fan of calls to action, but i think Dr. Ruth should be contacted by Asexuals and perhaps someone from AVEN to let her know where she went wrong. She's considered a sex expert and if she puts out information like this, it can cause many problems.

I'll e-mail. How's this?

Dear Dr. Ruth:

I read your reply to the 25 year old heterosexual woman with absolutely zero libido. As an asexual I just wanted to clear something up. Asexuality is simply the lack of sexual attraction to anyone. This alone does not affect libido (or other other aspects of mental, physical, social or sexual functioning). Although some asexuals do lack a sex drive, many are capable of orgasm or even being sexually aroused spontaneously or as a response to certain activity. I understand that in some dictionaries an asexual is defined as someone who "lacks sexual drive or feelings", but this is seen to be inaccurate by much of the asexual community. Most feel that the term "nonlibidoist" works best for that definition. And although I know this was not brought up, I would just like to be clear that many asexuals are interested in having a romantic relationship but personally do not feel that sexuality has a role in it.

Thank you for your time.

I could see her jumping to conclusions with the romance thing so I thought I should bring that up myself.

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sinisterporpoise

Sorry, I was not clear. I was suggesting someone who holds an official AVEN title contact her. Dr. Ruth is not someone who should be taken lightly when she says things like this. People listen to her. She's not just some random columnist.

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Jillianimal

Good point. Where are the admins when you need em?

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Guest member25959

It may be best if a member of the Project Team contact her? I dunno, we need someone who's established.

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cleuchtturm

What about an admin?

Guh, I feel like time is running out. :mellow:

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Jillianimal

What about an admin?

Guh, I feel like time is running out. :mellow:

Then screw it, I'm sending the email. She may not take me as seriously as someone with a title but I don't see the harm in it. I'll put a link to AVEN in it. You're all welcome to join in sending an email to clear this up if you think numbers will help. I'll wait 5 minutes in case somebody wants to make a suggestion in what I wrote or somebody with more power decides to do something.

Ok it's sent.

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Guest member25959

I doubt that an admin sending an eMail will make any difference, personally.

As the moderator of the World Watch forum I guess I should offer to send it, or at least contact an administrator/Project Team member (non are online at this time), I have made a note of it in the backroom.

Making this a group effort may have more of an impact.

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Jillianimal

Crap, I still can't find her email! >_> Only Pierre's.

The only way I found a way to contact her is to send a tip. Soo, "tip disguise" it is, I guess.

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sinisterporpoise

I would suggest AVENGuy, Lord Happy Toast or MichealD. (I could also send this column to Kitchenwitch, but I'm pretty sure she already knows about it.) If that does not work, it may not hurt to contact the company that syndicates her column. It may get better results.

I do not believe Dr. Ruth meant any offense, but she didn't bother to look at AVEN or any other Asexual site that could have dispelled the notions she put forward. I'll see if I can find a media contact.

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Guest

I think it'll have more of an impact if a big bunch of you all comment, rather than appoint one ambassador.

Jill: I like your response.

Best of luck, guys!!

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DexM

"One of those Asexual people".Are we some kind of a tribe or group,who live on our own Island,peacefully shunning the World of the Sexuals.Upon reading I began thinking of the X-MEN,who live together on such an Island.I then started thinking we could send Magneto after Ruth and then I just thought NO lets just educate the Woman.I'd love to help.

P.S.Sorry if you don't read comics,this will be gibberish. :redface:

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The Great WTF

"One of those Asexual people".Are we some kind of a tribe or group,who live on our own Island,peacefully shunning the World of the Sexuals.Upon reading I began thinking of the X-MEN,who live together on such an Island.I then started thinking we could send Magneto after Ruth and then I just thought NO lets just educate the Woman.I'd love to help.

P.S.Sorry if you don't read comics,this will be gibberish. :redface:

Ummm... the X-Men don't live on Genosha. Most of them try to avoid it, actually, because it's Magneto's stronghold... unless you're talking about one of the alternate universes.

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Amcan

I doubt that an admin sending an eMail will make any difference, personally.

As the moderator of the World Watch forum I guess I should offer to send it, or at least contact an administrator/Project Team member (non are online at this time), I have made a note of it in the backroom.

Making this a group effort may have more of an impact.

Hi I'm an admin.

Admins are here to ensure the smooth running of the AVEN site. We don't carry any extra weight outside of AVEN. Now I can ban a spam bot or lock a thread but that does not make me more qualified to be an ambassador for AVEN and/or asexuality thna anyone else on this site.

The Project Team are the ones who are currently working on Visibility and Education projects and one member of the PT has actually written in the academic field about asexuality. Their opinion would carry far more weight than my own. Especially since I myself have 'label issues'.

We've also been here before I believe. I seem to recall some years ago several asexuals correcting an advice columnist. I might be wrong, it would have been at least 4 years ago by my reckoning and my memory is hazy.

I also forget the outcome.

The upshot is that a group effort would probably make more sense. As would an academic argument that can cite empirical data relating to asexuality. It would certainly back things up. AVEN is a useful resource, a starting point.

As mentioned by my mod colleague this has been brought to the attention of the PT. I am sure they would be interested.

In the meantime i am sure a few e-mails sent by AVEN members would not hurt. I would suggest caution though and the wiki might have some useful material to use to cite in any response.

Amcan

admin.

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cleuchtturm

We just have to be careful that we don't send too many at one time. It may seem like we are spamming her, and we definately don't want that!

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The Great WTF

I wish we had a more concrete way to contact her. Even the Tips section is looked over by editors more than her and they may dismiss it.

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Jillianimal

I wish we had a more concrete way to contact her. Even the Tips section is looked over by editors more than her and they may dismiss it.

What about Ask a question? Not a question obvioulsy but maybe there's a better chance she'll look at that :unsure:

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The Great WTF

I wish we had a more concrete way to contact her. Even the Tips section is looked over by editors more than her and they may dismiss it.

What about Ask a question? Not a question obvioulsy but maybe there's a better chance she'll look at that :unsure:

I suppose it is more reliable, but no doubt editors look those over, too.

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Goldberry

First thing I noticed:

Am I one of those asexual people?

And that's just the questioner! Now I'll have to see how I feel about the response...

Not so bad, just a little off, I guess. But lol, those people! Let's all form an asexual island and become those people. :P

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DexM

"One of those Asexual people".Are we some kind of a tribe or group,who live on our own Island,peacefully shunning the World of the Sexuals.Upon reading I began thinking of the X-MEN,who live together on such an Island.I then started thinking we could send Magneto after Ruth and then I just thought NO lets just educate the Woman.I'd love to help.

P.S.Sorry if you don't read comics,this will be gibberish. :redface:

Ummm... the X-Men don't live on Genosha. Most of them try to avoid it, actually, because it's Magneto's stronghold... unless you're talking about one of the alternate universes.

Ahh,the X-MEN,some of them anyway now live on UTOPIA,led by Cyclops and Magneto now lives with them.Penthouse suite probably.

----------must not geek out on seroius threads-------------

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michaeld

The PT has drafted a response.

Dear Dr. Ruth,

We're writing on behalf of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), an organization devoted to promoting visibility, education and awareness of asexuality. We were very interested to read your recent column "Are there ways to revive a nonexistent libido?", featuring a question from a 25 year old woman who, by her own account, has zero libido.

As members of the AVEN Project Team, we have a responsibility to monitor mentions of asexuality in the media. While it is great to see coverage of asexuality in your column, we feel the need to point out and correct an important error in your answer.

You remark that if someone has experienced orgasm, they are not asexual. This is a commonly heard, but incorrect, deduction.

The generally accepted definition of asexual in the community is someone who lacks sexual attraction. It is quite possible to lack sexual attraction to either men or women and to still experience orgasms - similar to the way a gay man can experience an orgasm with a woman despite lacking a sexual attraction to her. Some asexuals also have a libido, but it is not directed at any gender.

We would like to request that you correct this error in a future column - either by publishing this letter or by writing your own note. Your column has a wide and significant following, and will include some people coming to terms with their asexuality; it is essential that such people have accurate information at their disposal. For more information on asexuality, we can recommend the FAQ on AVEN

http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html

as well as the following off-site FAQ.

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki/Asexuality

Yours,

Michael

(on behalf of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network Project Team)

I'll leave this up a few hours in case anyone has a critical suggestion, and then send.

I think overall Jillian's suggestion of submitting this to "Ask a Question" is best.

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sinisterporpoise

There is also nothing wrong with sending her a lot of e-mails through various channels to let her know that she screwed up here, but it's best to handle things politely first.

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michaeld

OK I have sent the letter. I will also post an abridged version as a comment.

I encourage everyone else reading to consider posting a comment to similar effect.

If you don't wish to register, you can post using your gmail or facebook account. It only takes a second. If you post a comment, please note here that you've done so, for the record.

(If you do post a comment, please be forthright but polite. I know how these comment sections can sometimes degenerate into flamefests, and I don't want to be part of encouraging that.)

EDIT: I attempted to post a comment but it has not yet shown up. Is there a delay or did I do something wrong?

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Jillianimal

OK I have sent the letter. I will also post an abridged version as a comment.

I encourage everyone else reading to consider posting a comment to similar effect.

If you don't wish to register, you can post using your gmail or facebook account. It only takes a second. If you post a comment, please note here that you've done so, for the record.

(If you do post a comment, please be forthright but polite. I know how these comment sections can sometimes degenerate into flamefests, and I don't want to be part of encouraging that.)

SQUEE Awesome! But do you really think commenting on the article itself will do much now though? Ace & WTF already seemed to explain it well enough on there. To flood it anymore publicly...I don't know, it just seems like much more will make readers roll their eyes & just walk away from it.

I don't think Dr. Ruth will bother looking back on an article comments either. If we want to correct her then the best thing to do would be for everyone to try to contact her as directly as possible, no? The more individual messages the more it may be taken seriously & seen by Ruth herself (though maybe AVEN should be left out of future messages so it doesn't seem like some cult movement or something)

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michaeld

SQUEE Awesome! But do you really think commenting on the article itself will do much now though? Ace & WTF already seemed to explain it well enough on there. To flood it anymore publicly...I don't know, it just seems like much more will make readers roll their eyes & just walk away from it.

I don't think Dr. Ruth will bother looking back on an article comments either. If we want to correct her then the best thing to do would be for everyone to try to contact her as directly as possible, no? The more individual messages the more it may be taken seriously & seen by Ruth herself (though maybe AVEN should be left out of future messages so it doesn't seem like some cult movement or something)

I think having a few more comments as reinforcement can help people take note. If at some point it's becoming too repetitious, I wouldn't encourage it any longer.

I don't know if she'll read the comments but I'd like to think she'll give them at least a glance. If there are lots of asexuals chiming in, she'll be more likely to notice.

If there was some way of contacting her directly (email?) that would be ideal. Ask for "Ask a Question" - I'm not sure I'd want to encourage everyone to submit a "question" making this point, as that does seem a bit like spamming.

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