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Rebuilder

Platonic, but Sexual relationships.

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Rebuilder

Okay, this probably has something to do with how I've been questioning lately, whether or not I'm an Aromantic Grey/demisexual, or just a repulsed Aromantic sexual? :unsure:

You see, I already know I'm Aromantic, but I still minimally seek for a sexual relationship. I mean, not exactly as the main reason, but its something serious enough I can't completely ignore. More importantly, a Platonic girlfriend is what I'm interested in. I guess, you could call a relationship in my books, to be being with someone I'm able to exchange my inner thoughts and feelings with, and pretty much be on the same page. That's what is important. I don't know how to word this, I sometimes suspect this really is on the borderline between BFFs and FWBs, except maybe I plan to live with the aforementioned person?

Roommates who share their deepest feelings and have sex, I guess? :unsure:

^^

This is what's bothering me, I don't know if I genuinely want a relationship, or if I'm just emotionally dependent, and only compensating for something? I'm well aware I could probably only be sexually attracted to someone I'm able to connect with, and I would only be interested in sexual issues under the aforementioned conditions. As for sex, I can barely want "Vanilla sex", and am more S/M, and Paraphilic, and I can't really picture myself receiving pleasure , unless I'm providing it for the benefit of someone else.

I was intending for Aromantic Grey, or Aromantic Sexual input, although everyone is welcome to reply.

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test account

Though it's not appropriate to label other people, seeing as you're asking, my impression is you're no different from anyone else who wants a relationship but is a little wary of getting stuck in something too deep or demanding.

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Gho St Ory Qwan

Sounds like a relationship to me. I'd just call it an aromantic relationship. Sounds sweet to me.

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Jillianimal

I don't think it can really be considered "platonic" if it's sexual. Nonromantic sure, I know that's what you're referring to, but platonic would mean without sexuality.

It sounds like you might be aromantic, but I don't know. I feel like romantic attraction should be based on an emotion rather than desire because the urges involved (or not) varies so much from person to person, even having a relationship. From what you said though, it doesn't sound like anything based on romantic feelings. It's possible to have a fuck buddy relationship, which is basically sex without romantic elements or feelings, as you seem to describe. It does look like you may be demisexual though since your sexual attraction can only happen when there's an emotional connection.

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maven

You know we can't diagnose you ^_^ but how about some questions? Not saying you should answer them on here, just things to think about.

-What do you see as the difference between a romantic sexual relationship and your idea of a platonic sexual relationship? You mentioned worrying about emotional dependency - would the platonic best friend who you connected with and felt like you could tell everything to have to be the person you have a sexual relationship with? Or can those two be separated between two people?

-Does being kinky make you more cautious when it comes to sexual relationships? (I'm guessing you'd want to know whether the girl was interested in the same kinks, or at least up for trying them out before considering a platonic or sexual relationship.)

Also, this. It's a blog post written by a guy in an aromantic relationship.

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Rebuilder

I don't think it can really be considered "platonic" if it's sexual. Nonromantic sure, I know that's what you're referring to, but platonic would mean without sexuality.It sounds like you might be aromantic, but I don't know. I feel like romantic attraction should be based on an emotion rather than desire because the urges involved (or not) varies so much from person to person, even having a relationship. From what you said though, it doesn't sound like anything based on romantic feelings. It's possible to have a fuck buddy relationship, which is basically sex without romantic elements or feelings, as you seem to describe. It does look like you may be demisexual though since your sexual attraction can only happen when there's an emotional connection.

Gosh forbid, someone might shoot me for saying this. I used to see attraction as a continuum from Platonic-> Romantic-> Sexual. The situation I'm in is sort of a "Catch-22" scenario. You're right about the relevance to Demisexuality, I can't feel sexually without a connection, then again the connection very rarely happens (it has occurred before, albeit weakly), and how you mentioned Platonic attraction isn't supposed to involve sex. So essentially, I can only became attracted someone sexually, if I'm emotionally attached to them in some way or another.

Considering the use of terminology, Platonic to describe a kind of relationship I'd be interested would likely be inappropriate, and Non-romantic can be much better.

You know we can't diagnose you ^_^ but how about some questions? Not saying you should answer them on here, just things to think about. -What do you see as the difference between a romantic sexual relationship and your idea of a platonic sexual relationship? You mentioned worrying about emotional dependency - would the platonic best friend who you connected with and felt like you could tell everything to have to be the person you have a sexual relationship with? Or can those two be separated between two people? -Does being kinky make you more cautious when it comes to sexual relationships? (I'm guessing you'd want to know whether the girl was interested in the same kinks, or at least up for trying them out before considering a platonic or sexual relationship.)Also, this. It's a blog post written by a guy in an aromantic relationship.

Well, I'll say it this way. I've been platonically attracted to a few people in the past, and none of anything resulting from those sexual in nature. I'm able to feel platonic attraction without sex, except for a long-term relationship I'll (filling in the gaps here) probably be interested with sex, sooner or later. Even then, I'm still not entirely sure I'd like it. I mean, almost half of why I typify myself as Grey/Demi, is how I'm sort of curious to how sex would be like! My mind intricately ties the idea of sex to something emotional, it would need a connection for me to get anything out. I guess Masturbation is only answering what my body is saying, but Sex issues wouldn't be fun if I wasn't connected with the person. So, the two forms of attraction (Well, the second is more of an interest, I guess.) are naturally separable, except it relates to my "Catch-22" explanation above. As for kinks, some of the stuff I'm into is... I just don't think random people in a crowd would be turned on. Part of me is so frightened about having someone else find out what floats my boat. So, I'd certainly want someone I already was able to share a lot of dark secrets with.

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Sally

Sex in the relationship pretty much takes it out of the platonic realm. Sex + emotional relationship = boyfriend/girlfriend, to almost anyone you'd ask.

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