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Licorice

I want a buddy to snuggle with, not a partner...

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Licorice

I just want to be really close friends with someone, true blue buddies. We can hold hands, snuggle, goof around, go on dates, maybe become roommates for a while..

It sounds so awesome in theory but it's so hard to find someone who wants to be that close; especially since I've actually never had a friend to date that wasn't a family member. The only people I've come close to being on that level with have been my parents and pets.

Whenever I tell people this, there first reaction is "Why not get a girlfriend?" or "That's a lover". I don't want romance though, I just want friendship. Is that really so hard to comprehend?

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Cakey

Oh my dear bless you.... I had relationships throughout my life and then I just stopped and I was able to subsequently get my hugs from gay male friends... Obviously that wouldn't work for you. But I do understand the frustration and I have an outlet for it. I guess that's why the asexual relationships I have seen on aven, all seem to work really well.

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Renaldo

I know how you feel. No one seems to understand... -_-

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Jillianimal

I know just what you mean, I think. It would be so nice to have that kind of (nonsexual) intimacy of a romantic relationship but the casuality of a friendship. Too much effort to have an official bf.

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Rivan Vox

Oh, I've had this. Being an out-and-out asexual (and attractive, and outgoing..) means I get to do all sorts of stuff! I have a date set for next saturday, in fact.

I live in a storybook fantasy world, though, so I'm not sure how it'll work out on your end. But it is possible, Good luck!

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Marquis25

There used to be this thing called a romantic friendship. I think that's what a lot of asexuals want, a romantic friendship.

"The term romantic friendship refers to both very close but non-sexual relationship and at times physical relationship between friends, often involving a degree of physical closeness beyond that which is common in modern Western societies, and may include for example holding hands, cuddling, kissing, and sharing a bed." - Wikipedia

One can argue how much this existed in the past, but I've had a romantic friendship with one of my best friends before and it was really nice.

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faraway

What's the difference between a romantic friendship and a non-sexual romantic relationship? Does it have to do with feelings?

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Jillianimal

What's the difference between a romantic friendship and a non-sexual romantic relationship? Does it have to do with feelings?

I've wondered that too. I thought that it was considered the same thing as a non-sexual romantic relationship & that it was called a "friendship" just because sex wasn't involved, which bugs me. Could be wrong though.

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faraway

What's the difference between a romantic friendship and a non-sexual romantic relationship? Does it have to do with feelings?

I've wondered that too. I thought that it was considered the same thing as a non-sexual romantic relationship & that it was called a "friendship" just because sex wasn't involved, which bugs me. Could be wrong though.

I see that misconception a lot; the mainstream likes to classify nonsexual relationships as "friendships"... It bothers me as well.

To me a romantic friendship sounds like a relationship based on romantic AND platonic attraction. I know it may seem like an unnecesary disctinction, but a lot of romantic relationships seem to be based on romantic attraction alone.

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Jillianimal

What's the difference between a romantic friendship and a non-sexual romantic relationship? Does it have to do with feelings?

I've wondered that too. I thought that it was considered the same thing as a non-sexual romantic relationship & that it was called a "friendship" just because sex wasn't involved, which bugs me. Could be wrong though.

I see that misconception a lot; the mainstream likes to classify nonsexual relationships as "friendships"... It bothers me as well.

To me a romantic friendship sounds like a relationship based on romantic AND platonic attraction. I know it may seem like an unnecesary disctinction, but a lot of romantic relationships seem to be based on romantic attraction alone.

What's platonic attraction?

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Harmonica

I'd like the same thing, but the people I've been with expect sex. So I'm just going to enjoy being single for a few years, and if I find someone like that, I'll change my mind about wanting to be single for the rest of my life.

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Marquis25

What's the difference between a romantic friendship and a non-sexual romantic relationship? Does it have to do with feelings?

I've wondered that too. I thought that it was considered the same thing as a non-sexual romantic relationship & that it was called a "friendship" just because sex wasn't involved, which bugs me. Could be wrong though.

I see that misconception a lot; the mainstream likes to classify nonsexual relationships as "friendships"... It bothers me as well.

To me a romantic friendship sounds like a relationship based on romantic AND platonic attraction. I know it may seem like an unnecesary disctinction, but a lot of romantic relationships seem to be based on romantic attraction alone.

I wasn't romantically attracted to my friend.

A romantic friendship to me, between two girls, is kind of like that sisters by affection not by blood relationship. You know?

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MistyMoor

Yes, that would be nice but most today want sex in return. I think a relationship like that still existed back in the 'olden' days or either that only in Jane Austen novels but sadly not so much today.

Don't give up hope though, a rare gem may cross your path some day and end up being the perfect person for you!

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MadRat

Count me as another person who would be happy for this kind of relationship. :)

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Vampyremage

That's very much what I consider to be an ideal sort of relationship. Its got all of the things that I value in a relationship without the inconvenience of expecting sex as well. So far I haven't had much luck in actually finding it, but we'll see how things happen to go.

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k.b

I have that right now. But sadly my close friend wants things to be more than just the closeness and friendship and wants to be my boyfriend. I'm asexual so that's never going to happen. It's hard and awkward at times but were finding our way through it. Best of luck to you.

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ithaca

I just want to be really close friends with someone, true blue buddies. We can hold hands, snuggle, goof around, go on dates, maybe become roommates for a while..

It sounds so awesome in theory but it's so hard to find someone who wants to be that close; especially since I've actually never had a friend to date that wasn't a family member. The only people I've come close to being on that level with have been my parents and pets.

Whenever I tell people this, there first reaction is "Why not get a girlfriend?" or "That's a lover". I don't want romance though, I just want friendship. Is that really so hard to comprehend?

I totally understand you..

Since I'm thinking of my whole life all over, now that i know about asexuality, i'm realizing that the happiest moments in my life were the ones in which i had a friend to share my every day life with, to have dinners, fun, movies, and the ones i lived with were the ones i anjoyed taking care of.

I probably need the same thing you're looking for to feel like i met the right person..

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NevadaWolf

:sigh: :wub:

Me too. Now if only the Ace guys i know were somewhere within an obtainable distance i bet i could have that relationship.

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Necron

:o Jezebel!

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Majnun

:sigh: :wub:

Me too. Now if only the Ace guys i know were somewhere within an obtainable distance i bet i could have that relationship.

And likewise with the girls. I got to have a cuddle date once (It was amazing!), but the person I did it with is too busy most of the time. It's really a shame.

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NevadaWolf

Awww :virtual cuddles!:

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RelukaHaske

It's really shocking to not know how to express what you want only to read someone's identical wish. That would be my ideal relationship... It would be lovely to meet someone who would desire that kind of relationship.

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Sh4d3

I just want to be really close friends with someone, true blue buddies. We can hold hands, snuggle, goof around, go on dates, maybe become roommates for a while..

It sounds so awesome in theory but it's so hard to find someone who wants to be that close; especially since I've actually never had a friend to date that wasn't a family member. The only people I've come close to being on that level with have been my parents and pets.

Whenever I tell people this, there first reaction is "Why not get a girlfriend?" or "That's a lover". I don't want romance though, I just want friendship. Is that really so hard to comprehend?

^This.

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Camael79

.

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M4ndy

Oh, I've had this. Being an out-and-out asexual (and attractive, and outgoing..) means I get to do all sorts of stuff! I have a date set for next saturday, in fact.

I live in a storybook fantasy world, though, so I'm not sure how it'll work out on your end. But it is possible, Good luck!

What do you mean that you live in a storybook fantasy world and how does one move to such place? LOL

i've never heard of a romantic friendship, but it makes so much sense now that thats whats i've been looking for.

right now, i feel like im losing my best friend. i'm an asexual male, and my best friend is a gay female. so should be perfect right? sex isnt an issue. but, we've gotten very close, like cuddling close lately and now i think shes confused. i'm a little confused too. we've both admitted to deep feelings for each other, but i guess neither of us expected it to turn romantic. i'm not trying to change her from being gay (thats not possible) , and i'm certainly not interested in her sexually, i just didnt know that "romantic frienship" was an option.

anyway, shes been distancing herself lately, and i dont know how to approach this...

any thoughts from anyone?

She's probably needed some space to think if she admitted to being confused. Let her haver her space, but let her know you are there fore her. Ask her every now and then how she is, but don't push her into anything.

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almosthuman

Well, there is this little group called the The National Coalition for Aromantic Visibility. They are just a small group @ a university, but they have an interesting definition page. One of their definitions sounds like the same thing as romantic friendship:

Friendship Dating-

The act of demonstrating platonic love via traditionally romantic means of courtship

I'm assuming that it's more of the the handholding/cuddling type of thing than sex, since the definition above it on their website specifically talks about sex between friends.

faraway - I am assuming that, yes, the difference between this kind of friendship and a non-sexual romantic relationship is based upon feelings. I'm assuming the intensity level would be different - friendship being more casual. Also, if you were in a romantic relationship, I'm assuming you would still have to deal w/issues like monogamy, cheating, are you going to marry, have children? But again, friendship implies something more casual. You would probably be okay w/your friend having other friends. But it probably wouldn't be okay for your non-sexual romantic partner to have another non-romantic sexual partner besides you, unless you were in an open relationship. That being said, I suppose it is quite possible to have a platonic romantic friendship develop into a non-sexual romantic relationship over time, the same way sexual people can be friends & then become lovers over time.

Any yes, I totally think a romantic friendship would be awesome!

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cleuchtturm

Is a romantic friendship like having a boy/girlfriend but without the sex? Or is it based on being exclusive? I'm so confused. :wacko:

Also, at what point does friends doing nice things for eachother turn to a romantic friendship?

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Azure.Providence

This is exactly the type of relationship I want. As I think of it a romantic friendship is more casual and doesnt have all the expectations that a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship would have. Doesnt mean you cant be best friends forever its just I see lots of problems with possessiveness.

i've never heard of a romantic friendship, but it makes so much sense now that thats whats i've been looking for.

right now, i feel like im losing my best friend. i'm an asexual male, and my best friend is a gay female. so should be perfect right? sex isnt an issue. but, we've gotten very close, like cuddling close lately and now i think shes confused. i'm a little confused too. we've both admitted to deep feelings for each other, but i guess neither of us expected it to turn romantic. i'm not trying to change her from being gay (thats not possible) , and i'm certainly not interested in her sexually, i just didnt know that "romantic frienship" was an option.

anyway, shes been distancing herself lately, and i dont know how to approach this...

any thoughts from anyone?

I really hope you dont lose your best friend I know that is painful. I wish I had a way to help you approach your problem. All I can say is I feel for ya.

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simplymaya

Yeah I would also like to have a romantic friendship too!

It would be so much easier. I mean I have guy best friends, but I would like to have a GUY best friend more like a relationship then a buddy I talk to once and a while.

I am not looking for a relationship now (especially since the guys at my college are just a little too much for me! hipsters...)

but definitely this is what I would like in the future...

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NorthernRose

Go out.. Go out.

Have fun.

Expose yourself. Verbalize your thoughts.

Join groups --- real and reel...

Hopefully, by doing so... you'll meet your match. 8)

Happy holidays!

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