Older Virgins were Laughed At Today......

[Janus the Fox]

Of course, I didn't say, well, your 24 year old son doesn't work, and you just buy him anything he wants, and all he does is play video games constantly and shout at you and demand you buy him more stuff...

... Is it bad that this sentence describes me perfectly?

[Rebuilder]

I have never had sex in my life time, and I am 42.....I noticed that society states that if you haven't had sex by a certain age, you are considered a "freak" to other people. I remember one guy mentioned men would RUN the other way if they meet a female virgin over 35 years old....and even women said they would run the other way when they meet a man over 40 years old and never had sex. Some would say that a virgin would be boring in bed so they rather have experienced people (they haven't thought about learning together to make the relationship last, right?).

It's funny that about 50 years ago, virginity is a "gift to your spouse" and is a precious wedding gift....now people are giving that gift freely to so many people it just defeats the purpose....now to society today, virgins are laughed at.....ever seen the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? I never saw it because it is making a mockery of my asexuality and lack of sex experience.

But I do know that in other countries, virginity is valued.

I never been sexually attracted to men, but I don't mind a very nice guy who understands my views. :)

Anyone here who feels the same way I do?

Well, well. Back in school, people would constantly joke about how someone would grow up to be "The 40-year old Virgin". Aside from Homophobia, saying that was one of the worst slurs in the book.

[thylacine]

Err... it's not bad to play video games, but it's that he yells at his mom, "Get me this! Get me that!" And she runs and gets it. Every time her cell phone rings, she jumps, "that might be my son!" She runs and gets him stuff he wants. Then he goes, "Mom! You're stupid! That's the wrong one!" She does everything for him, and he is rotten to her. Rotten. Then she takes it out on me, and if I offer to get her a latte or something at Starbucks.... "Stupid! That's the wrong kind!" "Where's the straw? You forgot to get me a straw." So I went back to get her a straw, and decided to never communicate with either one of them again and let them exist in their own mother-son Freudian misery (as Sigmund Freud wrote about mothers Y sons being "too close.")

Oh man, if you would see the strange relationship between this mother & son... it's a textbook case.

[Samael]

As far as I know, I've never met an adult virgin, definitely not one interested in dating me, anyway. I think virgins and spiders may feel the same way... they're both more scared of me than I am of them. :)

How do you ascertain the sexual status of people you meet? How do you know if this or this person has had sex 0 times, 5 times, 100 times, 1000 times without directly inquiring about the statistics? It's not like your conversations go like "Hello, my name is X, how do you do? By the way, I've had sex Y times in my life. How many times have you had?", do they?

[DexM]

A bizarre story about my recent announcement to a stranger,regarding my virginity.

An associate who I've known for sometime now,and is the only person outside of my family who knows about my asexuality,is a tattoo artist,and designed a discreet Asexual tattoo for me.I have many tattoos and piercings and they all me something to me personally,kind of a story of my life.I was very proud of the design,but whilst getting inked,an intruder spotted the design,and enquired.

After a brief explanation,and reveal,he actually shook my hand,when confronted with my lack of S.E.X.and he said he admired my courage,and was glad to have met me.

Frankly I'm still in shock.

Never happened before.

[Sally]

As far as I know, I've never met an adult virgin, definitely not one interested in dating me, anyway. I think virgins and spiders may feel the same way... they're both more scared of me than I am of them. :)

How do you ascertain the sexual status of people you meet? How do you know if this or this person has had sex 0 times, 5 times, 100 times, 1000 times without directly inquiring about the statistics? It's not like your conversations go like "Hello, my name is X, how do you do? By the way, I've had sex Y times in my life. How many times have you had?", do they?

A number of threads concern just that: people telling other people that they are virgins.

[Sally]

At least don´t tell to virgins you don´t want to date them because of their virginity. It´s painful to hear this.

If I were sexual and someone rejected me only because of this one thing...I would kick him "you know where". :D It´s painful too.

Someone rejected me for that reason when I was 21. It wasn't painful; I understood why he didn't want to deal with it, because he explained he'd had a number of sexual relationships; I hadn't had any. A radical difference in experience doesn't help relationships.

As far as the "first" being important, I've seen the same thing happen with the first relationship someone has when their marriage is breaking up. So far I'm the only person I know who had a relationship that continued for years, when it was the relationship which essentially broke up both our marriages. It's kind of accepted in sexual society that the "marriage-breaker" relationship never lasts; it's just used as a wedge to get out of the marriage, and that's the most important thing about it, not the actual feeling between the two persons. My ex-partner and I were the exception to society's rule.

[Guest]

As far as I know, I've never met an adult virgin, definitely not one interested in dating me, anyway. I think virgins and spiders may feel the same way... they're both more scared of me than I am of them. :)

How do you ascertain the sexual status of people you meet? How do you know if this or this person has had sex 0 times, 5 times, 100 times, 1000 times without directly inquiring about the statistics? It's not like your conversations go like "Hello, my name is X, how do you do? By the way, I've had sex Y times in my life. How many times have you had?", do they?

That's why I said "as far as I know", instead of just saying "I've never met...". Amongst my friends, I do know their status as non-virgins because they all date and have sex, and its talked about openly. I do have one friend who I suppose is technically a virgin, although she wouldn't call herself that, since she has significant physical limitations that make actual intercourse nearly impossible. If you thought I was implying that people who haven't had sex are somehow different or easily identifiable - no, I don't think that.

As far as the "first" being important, I've seen the same thing happen with the first relationship someone has when their marriage is breaking up. So far I'm the only person I know who had a relationship that continued for years, when it was the relationship which essentially broke up both our marriages. It's kind of accepted in sexual society that the "marriage-breaker" relationship never lasts; it's just used as a wedge to get out of the marriage, and that's the most important thing about it, not the actual feeling between the two persons. My ex-partner and I were the exception to society's rule.

True! Although the dude my ex left me for (we were together 8 years) ended up marrying her, so they're an exception too.

After that relationship broke up, I definitely freaked out the first 2 girls i dated because I was so used to being in a marriage that I went too fast, got emotionally attached way too early, and got hurt at a level that just wasn't sensible given the short period of time we dated.

[Samael]

As far as I know, I've never met an adult virgin, definitely not one interested in dating me, anyway. I think virgins and spiders may feel the same way... they're both more scared of me than I am of them. :)

How do you ascertain the sexual status of people you meet? How do you know if this or this person has had sex 0 times, 5 times, 100 times, 1000 times without directly inquiring about the statistics? It's not like your conversations go like "Hello, my name is X, how do you do? By the way, I've had sex Y times in my life. How many times have you had?", do they?

That's why I said "as far as I know", instead of just saying "I've never met...". Amongst my friends, I do know their status as non-virgins because they all date and have sex, and its talked about openly. I do have one friend who I suppose is technically a virgin, although she wouldn't call herself that, since she has significant physical limitations that make actual intercourse nearly impossible. If you thought I was implying that people who haven't had sex are somehow different or easily identifiable - no, I don't think that.

That's what I was getting at. You do meet other people than the ones that are in your inner circle, yes? :) It would be unfounded to conclude anything for sure about random people based on impressions alone.

New acquaintances sometimes directly or indirectly ask me how's my wife, or how old my kids are. The confused looks on their faces never cease to amuse me, when I tell the curious that I'm not into relationships and no, I don't have any children. I don't have an issue truthfully answering a query, but it kind of makes me think why are they sometimes so interested to know such private things but more interestingly why their initial assumptions were so wrong. My point is it's a bad idea to assume too much despite the stereotypes would have it the other way around.

[Cygnus]

29 year old virgin here and Im very proud of it. Ive been asked many times and I tell them very proudly that I still am. I also happen to be male so I automatically get labled gay which is odd cause in my thinking if I was gay I dont think I would still be a virgin. lol

[Måskemigselvetsted]

29 year old virgin here and Im very proud of it. Ive been asked many times and I tell them very proudly that I still am. I also happen to be male so I automatically get labled gay which is odd cause in my thinking if I was gay I dont think I would still be a virgin. lol

Can I ask you why you are proud?

I do understand you not being ashamed of it, by why be proud, and not indifferent?

[non-Sushimitzu]

After a brief explanation,and reveal,he actually shook my hand,when confronted with my lack of S.E.X.and he said he admired my courage,and was glad to have met me.

I know what you mean. I get this from time to time for not drinking alcohol, not eating meat and not doing any drugs. While it feels good to know other people occasionally appreciate such behaviour, it is nonetheless frustrating to know they are not alike. "The voice of disappointment - I voiced my opinion and listened for an echo, but heard only praise."

[oneofthesun]

29 year old virgin here and Im very proud of it. Ive been asked many times and I tell them very proudly that I still am. I also happen to be male so I automatically get labled gay which is odd cause in my thinking if I was gay I dont think I would still be a virgin. lol

You're right - it's much easier for gay guys to get laid.

[Samael]

You're right - it's much easier for gay guys to get laid.

I'm not a sexual, but is there supposed to be any difficulty anyway "to get laid" in the first place? Most people are sexual and as far as I've understood it, sex and sexuality plays a huge part in their lives. I don't even experience sexual attraction and still I've been been asked more times than I care to count if I was "interested". Meh, now that I think about it I wish there was some way to transmit an automatic message to people that "no, I'm not interested. Don't waste your time on me".

Anyway, the correlation some see between virginity and homosexuality truly blows my mind.

[Blood Angel]

I don't really care if I'm laughed at, it's just the loneliness that comes with it. Finding a partner is like finding a job. They want somebody with experience, but without the job, how are you meant to get the experience?

[Moon Ace]

But even in the movie The 40 Year-Old Virgin the woman doesn't run the other way.

erm... it's just a film.. ;-)

I feel it's worse amongst men. If you haven't had sex at a certain age you're not a 'real man' whatever that is...

[Marquis25]

I don't really care if I'm laughed at, it's just the loneliness that comes with it. Finding a partner is like finding a job. They want somebody with experience, but without the job, how are you meant to get the experience?

I think this is really the root of the issue here. Just like applying for a job, once you reach a certain age people will expect you to have experience, and if you don't most will move on. But in order to get the experience, you have to have sex/have a job. So you're stuck in a giant loop.

Of course this is all me theorizing since I'm a virgin college freshman, so I'm not a complete oddity yet.

[Harmonica]

I don't really care if I'm laughed at, it's just the loneliness that comes with it. Finding a partner is like finding a job. They want somebody with experience, but without the job, how are you meant to get the experience?

I was thinking the same exact thing.

Like someone else said, it's one giant loop that's hard to get out of.

[Cygnus]

29 year old virgin here and Im very proud of it. Ive been asked many times and I tell them very proudly that I still am. I also happen to be male so I automatically get labled gay which is odd cause in my thinking if I was gay I dont think I would still be a virgin. lol

Can I ask you why you are proud?

I do understand you not being ashamed of it, by why be proud, and not indifferent?

I didnt mean to sound snotty if it came off that way. What I was trying to say is if asked I tell them the truth. Me being a virgin is a part of who I am and nothing I should be ashamed of is what I was trying to say. :)

[DexM]

After a brief explanation,and reveal,he actually shook my hand,when confronted with my lack of S.E.X.and he said he admired my courage,and was glad to have met me.

I know what you mean. I get this from time to time for not drinking alcohol, not eating meat and not doing any drugs. While it feels good to know other people occasionally appreciate such behaviour, it is nonetheless frustrating to know they are not alike. "The voice of disappointment - I voiced my opinion and listened for an echo, but heard only praise."

Yeah,to be honest,after hitting him with such a BIG bombshell,I just didn't have It in me to tell him,that like you,I don't drink/take drugs,as where I'm from thats almost your duty you have to stick to from the age of 10.

I do like to smoke cigars though.With Cuban coffee,so not quite straight edge.

[Guest]

You're right - it's much easier for gay guys to get laid.

I'm not a sexual, but is there supposed to be any difficulty anyway "to get laid" in the first place? Most people are sexual and as far as I've understood it, sex and sexuality plays a huge part in their lives. I don't even experience sexual attraction and still I've been been asked more times than I care to count if I was "interested". Meh, now that I think about it I wish there was some way to transmit an automatic message to people that "no, I'm not interested. Don't waste your time on me".

Anyway, the correlation some see between virginity and homosexuality truly blows my mind.

Its hard to get laid by people you both like and are sexually attracted to. If you just want to get laid, period, then no, not difficult in the slightest.

[Vampyremage]

As far as I know, I've never met an adult virgin, definitely not one interested in dating me, anyway. I think virgins and spiders may feel the same way... they're both more scared of me than I am of them. :)

How do you ascertain the sexual status of people you meet? How do you know if this or this person has had sex 0 times, 5 times, 100 times, 1000 times without directly inquiring about the statistics? It's not like your conversations go like "Hello, my name is X, how do you do? By the way, I've had sex Y times in my life. How many times have you had?", do they?

Maybe you ask? Some people (myself included at times) don't have much of a concept of certain subjects being taboo and will simply just go an ask if they're curious. Personally, if someone were to ask whether or not I was a virgin I'd tell them with no compunctions at all. I would probably also be pretty comfortable telling most people who seemed the more or less non-judgemental type a fair number of things about my sexual experiences, without getting into too many specific details. I don't tend to be terribly graphic in such discussions, but I sure do tend to be direct and honest. Sexual things just aren't things that I feel shy about talking about or sharing with others.

Personally I don't really get the while virginity thing at all. I neither consider it something precious to hold onto nor something shameful if you still have it, no matter your age. I think the stigma surrounding it has a lot to do with its status as something that helps transition a person from being a child to an adult. I also think that people often make the assumption that if someone is a virgin there must be a reason and, specifically, something wrong with them that has prevented them from losing their virginity.

When one considers how valued sex is in our culture, perhaps it isn't such an unusual assumption to make. Its assumed, all be it sometimes incorrectly, that everyone wants to engage in sex and have a sexual partner so when someone is a virgin at 30 or 40, its assumed that there is something wrong with them that has prevented them from having the partner that many assume that everyone wants. Its not considered a choice, its considered an unfortunate circumstance.

[Samael]

As far as I know, I've never met an adult virgin, definitely not one interested in dating me, anyway. I think virgins and spiders may feel the same way... they're both more scared of me than I am of them. :)

How do you ascertain the sexual status of people you meet? How do you know if this or this person has had sex 0 times, 5 times, 100 times, 1000 times without directly inquiring about the statistics? It's not like your conversations go like "Hello, my name is X, how do you do? By the way, I've had sex Y times in my life. How many times have you had?", do they?

Maybe you ask? Some people (myself included at times) don't have much of a concept of certain subjects being taboo and will simply just go an ask if they're curious. Personally, if someone were to ask whether or not I was a virgin I'd tell them with no compunctions at all. I would probably also be pretty comfortable telling most people who seemed the more or less non-judgemental type a fair number of things about my sexual experiences, without getting into too many specific details. I don't tend to be terribly graphic in such discussions, but I sure do tend to be direct and honest. Sexual things just aren't things that I feel shy about talking about or sharing with others.

Personally I don't really get the while virginity thing at all. I neither consider it something precious to hold onto nor something shameful if you still have it, no matter your age. I think the stigma surrounding it has a lot to do with its status as something that helps transition a person from being a child to an adult. I also think that people often make the assumption that if someone is a virgin there must be a reason and, specifically, something wrong with them that has prevented them from losing their virginity.

When one considers how valued sex is in our culture, perhaps it isn't such an unusual assumption to make. Its assumed, all be it sometimes incorrectly, that everyone wants to engage in sex and have a sexual partner so when someone is a virgin at 30 or 40, its assumed that there is something wrong with them that has prevented them from having the partner that many assume that everyone wants. Its not considered a choice, its considered an unfortunate circumstance.

Yes, I agree with you that ignorance is widespread. However, I can answer questions truthfully too if I deem honest conversation wise in a specific situation. It's just that since sexuality is usually such a huge taboo still in Western culture, it at least breaks social conventions in certain situations to engage in open discussion about it, especially when the views held can easily be seen as abnormal.

[Vampyremage]

As far as I know, I've never met an adult virgin, definitely not one interested in dating me, anyway. I think virgins and spiders may feel the same way... they're both more scared of me than I am of them. :)

How do you ascertain the sexual status of people you meet? How do you know if this or this person has had sex 0 times, 5 times, 100 times, 1000 times without directly inquiring about the statistics? It's not like your conversations go like "Hello, my name is X, how do you do? By the way, I've had sex Y times in my life. How many times have you had?", do they?

Maybe you ask? Some people (myself included at times) don't have much of a concept of certain subjects being taboo and will simply just go an ask if they're curious. Personally, if someone were to ask whether or not I was a virgin I'd tell them with no compunctions at all. I would probably also be pretty comfortable telling most people who seemed the more or less non-judgemental type a fair number of things about my sexual experiences, without getting into too many specific details. I don't tend to be terribly graphic in such discussions, but I sure do tend to be direct and honest. Sexual things just aren't things that I feel shy about talking about or sharing with others.

Personally I don't really get the while virginity thing at all. I neither consider it something precious to hold onto nor something shameful if you still have it, no matter your age. I think the stigma surrounding it has a lot to do with its status as something that helps transition a person from being a child to an adult. I also think that people often make the assumption that if someone is a virgin there must be a reason and, specifically, something wrong with them that has prevented them from losing their virginity.

When one considers how valued sex is in our culture, perhaps it isn't such an unusual assumption to make. Its assumed, all be it sometimes incorrectly, that everyone wants to engage in sex and have a sexual partner so when someone is a virgin at 30 or 40, its assumed that there is something wrong with them that has prevented them from having the partner that many assume that everyone wants. Its not considered a choice, its considered an unfortunate circumstance.

Yes, I agree with you that ignorance is widespread. However, I can answer questions truthfully too if I deem honest conversation wise in a specific situation. It's just that since sexuality is usually such a huge taboo still in Western culture, it at least breaks social conventions in certain situations to engage in open discussion about it, especially when the views held can easily be seen as abnormal.

I certainly can't disagree with this. However, it is more or less taboo depending upon the circles one tends to associate with. In some circles it will almost never, if at all, come up while in others it might be a whole lot more casual. While it might be often taboo, there is such a wide range of people out there and, even within a specific broader culture, a very wide range of norms depending on social circle and/or subculture.

[Lost On Purpose]

It's not so much that people ask about "how many partners", etc, but conversations where someone turns to me and says, "So, how old were you when you lost your virginity?" or "Can you imagine someone not having sex before they're 21, let alone 40?" or working in a drug store and having a customer ask me "Are these pregnancy tests/condoms/lubricating jelly/etc easy to use? Which one do you use?"

Or my favorite: "You married?" No. "Have kids?" No. "Oh." And then there is that look.

I am comfortable (mostly) with who I am and my life choices. Honestly, I am more in the closet about my virginity (I'm almost 39) than my asexuality. It's not because I'm naive, or childish, or selfish, or that there is something wrong with me mentally (all things I've heard either directed at me or virgins in general). It's not that I've never had the opportunity. I've been propositioned a number of times. My second boyfriend pressured me big time to have sex (I didn't, and eventually broke up with him). It's that I just plain have no desire to.

I have actually considered, at one time in my life, the idea of having a random sexual encounter just so I could say truthfully that I wasn't a virgin. It didn't sound like a very pleasant idea to me, but I was desperate to be "normal". I didn't. Thank the gods, I didn't. But the societal pressure, whether direct or indirect, is there.

I have 12.5 months until I truly am a '40 year old virgin'. I try to be comfortable in my own skin. I know that what others think of me should have no bearing on my self-worth. I am old enough to make my own decisions and live with the consequences. But sometimes, it just feels as though my 'insistence' on doing what feels right to me is in bold defiance of the norms of society, and not simply the way I live my life.

[Samael]

It's not so much that people ask about "how many partners", etc, but conversations where someone turns to me and says, "So, how old were you when you lost your virginity?" or "Can you imagine someone not having sex before they're 21, let alone 40?" or working in a drug store and having a customer ask me "Are these pregnancy tests/condoms/lubricating jelly/etc easy to use? Which one do you use?"

Or my favorite: "You married?" No. "Have kids?" No. "Oh." And then there is that look.

I am comfortable (mostly) with who I am and my life choices. Honestly, I am more in the closet about my virginity (I'm almost 39) than my asexuality. It's not because I'm naive, or childish, or selfish, or that there is something wrong with me mentally (all things I've heard either directed at me or virgins in general). It's not that I've never had the opportunity. I've been propositioned a number of times. My second boyfriend pressured me big time to have sex (I didn't, and eventually broke up with him). It's that I just plain have no desire to.

I have actually considered, at one time in my life, the idea of having a random sexual encounter just so I could say truthfully that I wasn't a virgin. It didn't sound like a very pleasant idea to me, but I was desperate to be "normal". I didn't. Thank the gods, I didn't. But the societal pressure, whether direct or indirect, is there.

I have 12.5 months until I truly am a '40 year old virgin'. I try to be comfortable in my own skin. I know that what others think of me should have no bearing on my self-worth. I am old enough to make my own decisions and live with the consequences. But sometimes, it just feels as though my 'insistence' on doing what feels right to me is in bold defiance of the norms of society, and not simply the way I live my life.

You can easily be made to feel like an alien amongst closeminded people when your interests do not align with those of the majority. Whether you experience the exclusion or the feeling of being alien as a negative thing, in my opinion, largely depends on the strenght of your self-esteem. If you let people think whatever they wish without worrying about it, then you may be released from having your self-worth crushed. If you are different, the fact remains that "bold defiance of the norms of society" is ever present when you do what you personally like, not what the society would have you like. It is not for the weak who would cave in before pressure, that much is for certain :)

[NorthernRose]

I have never had sex in my life time, and I am 42.....I noticed that society states that if you haven't had sex by a certain age, you are considered a "freak" to other people. I remember one guy mentioned men would RUN the other way if they meet a female virgin over 35 years old....and even women said they would run the other way when they meet a man over 40 years old and never had sex. Some would say that a virgin would be boring in bed so they rather have experienced people (they haven't thought about learning together to make the relationship last, right?).

It's funny that about 50 years ago, virginity is a "gift to your spouse" and is a precious wedding gift....now people are giving that gift freely to so many people it just defeats the purpose....now to society today, virgins are laughed at.....ever seen the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? I never saw it because it is making a mockery of my asexuality and lack of sex experience.

But I do know that in other countries, virginity is valued.

I never been sexually attracted to men, but I don't mind a very nice guy who understands my views. :)

Anyone here who feels the same way I do?

[NorthernRose]

I have never had sex in my life time, and I am 42.....I noticed that society states that if you haven't had sex by a certain age, you are considered a "freak" to other people. I remember one guy mentioned men would RUN the other way if they meet a female virgin over 35 years old....and even women said they would run the other way when they meet a man over 40 years old and never had sex. Some would say that a virgin would be boring in bed so they rather have experienced people (they haven't thought about learning together to make the relationship last, right?).

It's funny that about 50 years ago, virginity is a "gift to your spouse" and is a precious wedding gift....now people are giving that gift freely to so many people it just defeats the purpose....now to society today, virgins are laughed at.....ever seen the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? I never saw it because it is making a mockery of my asexuality and lack of sex experience.

But I do know that in other countries, virginity is valued.

I never been sexually attracted to men, but I don't mind a very nice guy who understands my views. :)

Anyone here who feels the same way I do?

These are just the signs of times.

On my end, I am still hopeful when it comes to my children in the future. Congratulations by the way! (and that is a sincere one)

[Nathan Johnson]

I have never had sex in my life time, and I am 42.....I noticed that society states that if you haven't had sex by a certain age, you are considered a "freak" to other people. I remember one guy mentioned men would RUN the other way if they meet a female virgin over 35 years old....and even women said they would run the other way when they meet a man over 40 years old and never had sex. Some would say that a virgin would be boring in bed so they rather have experienced people (they haven't thought about learning together to make the relationship last, right?).

It's funny that about 50 years ago, virginity is a "gift to your spouse" and is a precious wedding gift....now people are giving that gift freely to so many people it just defeats the purpose....now to society today, virgins are laughed at.....ever seen the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? I never saw it because it is making a mockery of my asexuality and lack of sex experience.

But I do know that in other countries, virginity is valued.

I never been sexually attracted to men, but I don't mind a very nice guy who understands my views. :)

Anyone here who feels the same way I do?

This thread has been bothering me since I first saw it. Not just the post above, but some of the responses as well. I don't know if I'll address them all, but I'll start at the beginning - a very good place to start. When you read you begin with A, B, C...

I reject the notion that society states that you must have sex by a certain age or else you're labeled "weird". Individuals might think that, and it may be a familiar plot element in movies/books/etc., but I firmly believe that the vast majority of society simply doesn't care about your (plural) sexual life or lack thereof. To the idea that "a virgin would be boring in bed", I agree... kind of. But I think that boring is the wrong word; I think instead of "boring", it's meant they are simply "inexperienced" which is a tautology. That doesn't mean that the second time you have sex it will be any less "boring", but as you gain experience you become better at the activity-the same with everything else.

The film "40 Year Old Virgin" doesn't deal with the subject of asexuality, so it is impossible that it is making a mockery of it. The film furthermore does not make a mockery of those with less sexual experience. In the end, it the the 40 year old virgin that ends up with the typical bullshit happy-ever-after Hollywood ending and those who screw around are miserable.

I have no idea why virginity would be valued. What's so special about it? Every animal reproduces sexually with many requiring sexual intercourse. It's a necessity of life. There is nothing special about it. Besides reproduction, sexual activity has been shown to be important in forming pair bond between individuals and showing rank in a social hierarchy.

I would say that your feelings expressed in the original post about sex are more the result of your upbringing than about asexuality or societies views towards virgins.

[Celebate Elf]

I have never had sex in my life time, and I am 42.....I noticed that society states that if you haven't had sex by a certain age, you are considered a "freak" to other people. I remember one guy mentioned men would RUN the other way if they meet a female virgin over 35 years old....and even women said they would run the other way when they meet a man over 40 years old and never had sex. Some would say that a virgin would be boring in bed so they rather have experienced people (they haven't thought about learning together to make the relationship last, right?).

It's funny that about 50 years ago, virginity is a "gift to your spouse" and is a precious wedding gift....now people are giving that gift freely to so many people it just defeats the purpose....now to society today, virgins are laughed at.....ever seen the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin"? I never saw it because it is making a mockery of my asexuality and lack of sex experience.

But I do know that in other countries, virginity is valued.

I never been sexually attracted to men, but I don't mind a very nice guy who understands my views. :)

Anyone here who feels the same way I do?